Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello childrens and welcome to the premier edition of Dear Madame Zoltar, a blog where I respond to your questions and comments submitted by email to or posted in the comment section below. I hope to do this every Wednesday, if there’s enough interest.

Today’s first question comes from Avenging Angel, who asks, “Will we ever get a decent Mayor in Racine?”

Dear Avenging: I have consulted my crystal ball concerning this. The short answer is, if you think we have it bad now, just wait . . .

The next query comes from Run Over in Racine, who wants to know, “Why aren’t traffic laws enforced in Racine unless there is an accident?”

Dear ROR: At first I thought this might have something to do with that pesky proactive/reactive thing with the RPD, but imagine my surprise when I called Police Chief Whalen to ask and he replied, “You mean we have to enforce those laws, too? Geez!”

Next, a comment from someone going by the name of BO’B: “You suck.”

Dear BO’B: Thank you for your interest in JT Irregulars.

Finally, I’d like to say something to OrbsCorbs, who submitted an email to me that is not fit to reprint here or anywhere else.

Dear OrbsCorbs: Have you ever considered therapy?

Thank you everyone for reading. Remember to keep those inquiries and comments coming. I have the answers to all of your questions, and I’m willing to sell them to you pretty darn cheap.

Have a psychic day!


Huck Finn said...

Oh just great. They also get buzz beer brewed with THC rooted hops, and we get nothing. Makes me want to move to CA and endure the huge cost of living.

Huck Finn said...

oops. for the "aged" beer post below

Lizardmom said...

Dear Madame,
do you think all the emails were received that I sent to those who RSVP'd? I've been having trouble with them getting to where they were sent. Can you tell me what evil force is against me? Do I have an email demon?

hopelessly lost and confused

drewzepmeister said...

Liz,I just sent you an e-mail.

Anonymous said...

Dear Madame Zoltar,

Would I find true peace and happiness if I became a Cubs fan?

MinnesotaChick said...

Madame Zoltar..

Will we have nice weather for the get-together?

Liz, got your email.

Anonymous said...

Hi dearies!

Dear hopelessly lost and confused (aka Lizardmom): Yes, your emails are being sidetracked through the Twilight Zone by the spirit of Rod Serling. Where they go from there is anybody's guess. Email spirits are notoriously difficult to eradicate. Try a can of my Phantom-B-Gone and follow the label directions.

Dear logjam: Cubs fan, prefrontal lobotomy; six of one, half dozen of the other - so I suppose if that's your definition of true peace and happiness, then sure, why not?

Dear DogAddicts: I guarantee that the weather will be meteorologically correct.

Thank you, friends, for your questions. I do love helping out other people.

Anonymous said...

Madame Zoltar,

Thank you very much for your keen insight into the effervescence.