Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my fair February weather friends! How are you? The winter heat wave continues. Now, I’m taking it for granted. When it gets really cold and freezes up, I’m offended. “What? Ice on the cement? Don’t you know this is the warmest Wisconsin winter ever? Back off and let the sun shine.” How dare it snow in February? Humph!

Mardi Gras has started in New Orleans, along with the usual drunkenness and debauchery. I believe we are having, or already had, a Mardi Crawl in downtown Racine (that means crawling drunk from bar to bar). If you partake, please do so moderately. We’ve had enough sad news stories involving alcohol.

I was sad to read that Prom is leaving downtown Racine this year. God bless the Rotarians and others who work so hard to make this annual event take place. If size and safety are considerations, though, we have to consider the welfare of our children first. I know I’m nostalgic, but it’s another event gone from the city’s life. There used to be so many festivals at Festival Hall and Park. What happened?

I received an email this week from the superlative Ms. kk. She wrote:

My dearest Madame,

I found this website. Well, I should say... they found us. I was looking at web hits to the JTI and this popped up. It is in Dutch?

Looks like she is also selling merchandise under the Zoltar™ name. You may need to check it out.

Qu'est que c'est? Quel petite chienne!


Dear Ms. kk,

Oh my, oh my!

Oh my!

Thank you for pointing this out to me. Yes, the language is Dutch. This imposter lives in Amsterdam. She is 35 (she says), and here are some pictures of her:

By using Google Translate, I got this from her site:

“Madame Zoltar home on your party? You can!
“Storytelling, songs, singing and predict future takes about 1 hour.
“It costs 60 euros + expenses. (Or discount card account)”

“Predict future,” eh? Grrrr!

Thank you again, Ms. kk. I will have my attorneys on this immediately. It’s obvious that she is trying to cash in on my great name and reputation. The nerve of the hussy! Quite the “chienne,” indeed. This world is not large enough for two Madame Zoltars™. One will have to be vanquished. I almost feel sorry for her.

I always feel love for you, though, my readers. Thank you taking time out of your busy day to lollygag a few moments here on my blog. I look forward to your visits.

Contact the real Madame Zoltar™ here:

Persevere, my dear Irregulars, persevere! In the end, justice will burn so bright that the vainglorious will incinerate. Oh dear. Have a good week, too. Gustation!


SER said...

Late last week on the tv show where they restore all kinds of things, I can't remember the correct name, but they had a Zoltar machine they were restoring

Anonymous said...

jedwis said...

Mme Z... You are always so full of...lots of information and fun words. I have not heard lollygag since I was called an ambisinister by some chick. I hate when you look up the meaning of a word, and then have to look up the meaning of that words definition. Call me stupid. lol

kkdither said...

Oh jed, I just looked up the meaning to your word. I am so sorry, so, so sorry! ;>

Anon: the madame has told us of the marketing of the machines by her ex. Not a pretty story. In fact, at one point, the JTI petitioned the DRC to allow a real Zoltar™ booth at the first friday celebrations downtown, or in the parade, but they refused the permit. Esmerelda, (the hussy the Madame refuses to discuss in detail) also was made into a cheap fortune telling machine... the emphasis there being placed on the word cheap....

OrbsCorbs said...

That other Mme. Zoltar is kinda hot looking. I mean, just saying.

Anonymous said...

Shame on you, Mr. OrbsCorbs. Tsk, tsk.

Anonymous said...

ORBSCORBS - Given that the other Madame Zoltar lives in Holland, it may be possible she also will perform more , ahem, erotic readings for adults. I remember once finding my way down a Strasse in Bremerhaven Germany where many ladies were dressed in fantasy themes. One was even painted with Tiger Stripes!! GRRRR!

I do believe that there is a fortune telling machine at the Rocky's on Washington Ave. in Mt. Plesant. Not sure if it's a Zoltar or not, but you may want to check it out.