A doctor in Duluth, Minnesota

A doctor in Duluth, Minnesota wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.

"Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients."

"Yes, sir!" answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Ole, How was your day?"

Ole told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."

"Bravo, mate, and the second one?"  Asks the doctor.

"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir," says Ole.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the Doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, Taking off everything including Her panties and lies down on the table and shouts: ‘HELP ME - I haven't Seen a man in over two years!!’"

"Tunderin' Lard Jeezus, Ole, What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put eyedrops in her eyes!!"

Die Antwoord - "Fatty Boom Boom" (Official Video)

What else is trending...



"Die Antwoord. If you’ve seen this South African rap group’s name before, you don’t need to read any further because you already love Die Antwoord, or you already hate them. If you hate them, you don’t want to know anything more about them, and if you love them, you already know everything there is to know about them."

Read more: http://www.break.com/article/that-weird-shizz-die-antwoord-2474938


It's a freak show.  Her rapping/chanting is like a dentist's drill.    

"We Are Racine" Gets Recognition

From The Journal Times.com:

"New day on Jacato Drive -- Residents see progress in troubled part of city"

http://journaltimes.com/news/local/new-day-on-jacato-drive----residents-see/article_20de1bd4-e13c-11e2-9977-001a4bcf887a.html

Related: http://racineuncovered.org/2013/06/positive-news-about-jacato-drive/ 

http://weareracine.org/


Beth David puts her words into action.  Thank you for your efforts on behalf of Racine.

Octo

Published on Jun 16, 2013

"Linked stainless steel shapes spinning around a circular axis. Spins in 1/2 knot winds but is stable in much stronger. Light clinking sound of links touching. All stainless replaceable bearings. 17 feet high by 8 feet wide. More at http://www.howeart.net"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQsx7sgshlM

Check out his other work at http://www.howeart.net

Useless Information

 

The banana cannot reproduce itself.

 

It can be propagated only by the hand of man.

One hot summer day......

Pauly is filling up his black pickup truck at the local gas station. He isn't very careful and he gets gasoline all over his jacket's left sleeve. He ignores it and leaves the station after paying for the gas.

 

As Pauly's driving down the highway, the heat of the sun on his truck's black paint is enough to ignite his jacket sleeve.

 

He drives faster, waving his arm out the window in an attempt to extinguish the flames, but the sleeve just burns.

 

As Pauly speeds down the highway, a state trooper sees the situation and pulls him over. He jerks Pauley out of the truck and rolls him on the ground until the fire is extinguished.

 

As Pauly dusts himself and thanks his rescuer, he sees the officer is writing him a summons! Confused, he asks, "You're writing me a ticket!? What for?"

 

The officer replies, "Isn't it obvious? Possession of an illegal fire arm."

Open Blog - Weekend

Need I say more?

More Spam Filter Woes

For some reason, the spam filter has prevented comments by THB, drew, and myself, from appearing.  It may do the same to others.  I assume that Blogger is working on the problem.  Your comment will appear.  It just takes time to discover the legitimate comments in the filter.

Or you can re-post your comment.  Sometimes they make it through on the second try.  We can delete duplicates later.  

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Sorry for a late start. It's the first day of my vacation and I caught myself sleeping in a little later than I wanted to. Oh well... Time to bring on the day with some questions....

1) How many times a day do you "click" on to the JTI?

2) If you had to move, what city would like to live in?

3) Do you believe in life on other planets?

 4) What is a truly great black and white movie?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

I am extremely fond of you, too.

"Moones - Better Energy - Drunk In Session"

You select how drunk the band is, from 0 to 80 beers.

The Root RIver!

I took these pictures on Tuesday afternoon of the Root River by 5 Mile Rd. I also have a picture of the sky tonight with the rain and thunder.

"RACINE RAIDERS BEGIN DEFENSE OF NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP SATURDAY NIGHT"

Special Ceremony Will Honor 2012 National Championship Team

"June 26 (RACINE) - The Racine Raiders open their 2013 season, their 61st year, on Saturday, June 29, 2013, against the South Dakota Stallions at Historic Horlick Athletic Field. Kickoff is at 7:00 p.m.

"The Raiders won the 2012 Semi-Pro BCS National Championship in 2012. It was the eighth national championship in team history and the first since 2001. The Raiders beat the Nashville Storm, 38-24, on November 10, 2012, in front of nearly 4,000 fans.

"The Raiders return much of the 2013 national championship team, including quarterback Craig McClelland, running back J.R. Taylor and receivers Dorian Palmer and Sam D'Alie and tight end Traves Worthington. Joining the receiving corps is Dom Kegel. Kegel, a standout quarterback in European pro leagues, will shift to the outside and become a target for McClelland. The offensive line remains intact with a couple of additions that will supply depth.

"Most of the defense also returns from 2012. The key loss is cornerback David Earl who moved out-of-state in the offseason. However, Nate Heard, a cornerback that excelled at UW-Oshkosh and UW-Milwaukee, joins the squad. The team also added depth at defensive line and linebacker.

"The Stallions, a third year team and members of the Midwest Football Alliance (MFA), are 4-2 overall and 4-1 in the MFA on the season. They trail the Des Moines Blaze, the only team that handed the Raiders a loss last season, by one game.

"The Stallions are led by quarterback Derrick Singleton. Singleton has tossed eight touchdowns and thrown just two interceptions this season.

"Sioux Falls has two running backs that are averaging over six yards per carry in Ricky Gutierrez and Darieon Smith. Gutierrez is also tied for the team lead in receptions and is averaging over 22 yards per catch out of the backfield.

"On the receiving end, Antonio Berry is the top outside target while Khalid Waters is the the deep threat, averaging over 35 yards per catch with three touchdowns.

"On defense, Jordan Bouw is among the team leaders with 21 tackles and leads the team with 4-1/2 sacks. James Augustus has a nose for the ball in the secondary, already hauling in five interceptions in just six games.

"The Raiders will have a special trophy and flag ceremony with a speech from City of Racine Mayor John Dickert. The Generation Alive Dance Team and the Racine Raiders Dance and Stunt Team will perform at halftime. Miss Racine, Elise Elmblad, a student at the University of Wisconsin-Parkside will sing the National Anthem.

"The gates at Historic Horlick Athletic Field open at 5:30 p.m. and a band will perform in the beer garden near the concession stand prior to the game.

"Tickets are available at nine local outlets or the Historic Horlick Athletic Field box office. Ticket prices are $8 for adults, $6 for senior citizens and $4 for school age children. Military veterans receive free admission when in uniform or by showing proper identification.

"The Racine Raiders, a 501c(3) not-for-profit organization, begin their 61st season of operations in 2013. The Raiders won their eighth national championship in 2012. Find out more about the Racine Raiders at http://www.racineraiders.com."

Open Blog - Thursday

Must be Thursday.  Labels don't lie.

Some More Wildflower Pictures!

I thought I would share some more wildflower pictures with everyone. I hope all of you enjoy the pictures.

This is a Birds Foot Trefoil the picture was taken at Pike River Pathway in Mount Pleasant Wi..

This is Blue Bells the picture was taken at Grant Park in South Milwaukee Wi..

This is a Bristle Thistle the picture was taken at Richard Bong State Recreational Area Brighton Wi..

This is a Marsh Marigold the picture was taken at Chewaukee Prairie Reserve Pleasant Prairie Wi..

This is a White Champion the picture was taken at Horicon Marsh National Refuge Auto Tour Lomira Wi.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my summer delights!  How are you?  We’re finally getting some warm weather, with plenty of rain, too.  It would be hard to not grow something with conditions like those.  “June Is Bustin’ Out All Over.”  The growth is as lush as it gets in Wisconsin.  It’s a great time to “stop and smell the roses.”  Smell a few other things, too. 

Don’t forget to wear your sun block when you venture outdoors.  The sun’s ultraviolet rays can harm you even on overcast days.  A wide-brimmed hat is also a good idea.  Be sure to protect your eyes with appropriate sunglasses.  Damage done now may not show up for years. 

Do not, I repeat, do not shave Goth symbols into your hair like Junior did, and then stay out in the burning sun until all the symbols are bright red.  He does kind of glow in the dark now.  We set him on the porch for a nightlight. 

Twinkies and select other Hostess products are supposed to be back in stores on July 15.  "The Sweetest Comeback In The History Of Ever."  Personally, I enjoy the CupCakes, but there’ll be some changes there.  The new CupCakes will be made from dark chocolate, instead of milk chocolate.  I still expect to gorge on them.  I don’t know why Twinkies didn’t catch on in our household when I grew up.  Maybe they were just too weird looking.  God only knows what’s in the “creamy filling.”   

We’re just over a week away from the 4^th of July, one of Racine’s favorite holidays and drunk fests.  Junior will go to the parade for sure, but I don’t know about myself or Señor Zanza.  The noise and excitement can get to be too much.  When it does, I take some Madame Zoltar’s® Atomic Tonic™, the first medicine made from nuclear waste.  Never worry about medicine expiration dates again.  Atomic Tonic’s™ half-life is 3,000,000,000 years.

Thank you, my dears, for stopping by today.  Our time spent together is precious.  I love your company and I love you.

Summertime Blues? madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the week to come.  “Summertime and the livin’s easy.”  Go out and have “fun, fun, fun til her daddy takes the T-bird away.”  Look both ways before you cross the street, and then look again.  Fadaise!

Open Blog - Wednesday

I remember these.

"Pearls Before Swine" by Stephan Pastis

Two of my favorite thihngs: wrestling and literature. 

Venus and Vesta?

Earlier today, David Dickinson posted on twitter that there was a conjunction of Venus and the asteroid Vesta tonight. They would pass about 0.4 degrees from one another. However, separation between them changes very quickly...I looked it up and by the time it got dark in Tucson, they would be about two degrees apart. I thought, hey, I should try photographing that. Last year I successfully photographed Venus and Uranus. Vesta, however, is fainter and I would be fighting twilight so I knew it would be a tough shot. But I have bought a better camera since last year, a better tripod, and an iOptron Sky Tracker so I can take longer exposures as well.

I had to move a bit from my usual spot to dodge a bright streetlight and then ended up with a couple of power lines in the field of view. And then there is the weather! I had very little time to take pics before Venus dropped into the clouds. I got a few shots. After getting home, I tinkered with the photos in Lightroom a bit. I tried to bring out the fainter objects so the colors may be a little wonky. I then fired up Stellarium and set it to the right time and place and tried to match up the stars in Stellarium with my image to see if I could track down Vesta. First, the Stellarium image.

So now my image. I have labeled a few of the prominent stars and what I THINK MIGHT be Vesta. Look for a small object right above the "t" in Vesta (click to embiggen).

So, does anyone want to confirm I got it or put the kabash on this one?

While looking at Stellarium, I noticed that Ceres is not too far above Venus and they are moving toward a conjunction. Ceres will pass 4.8 degrees from Ceres on July 2nd...not quite as close, but I should have a shot at that one and hope for good weather that night!

UPDATE: I have heard from two others who have checked my photo against the chart and they agree that little smudge is in the right place and the right brightness for Vesta!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

96 Crayons: A (Very) Short Story

When I was a kid, I always lusted after the box of 64 Crayola Crayons with the built in sharpener that all the cool kids had and I never did. Today while shopping online for our upcoming summer academy, I see they now have a box of 96 Crayola Crayons with the built in sharpener. I am still lusting after them. I will never be one of the cool kids.

Open Blog - Tuesday

It is only polite to wave back.

"Ask Your Mayor to Join the Marijuana Majority"

Becker would have joined.

"Conflict (конфликт)"

A bunch of hot heads.

Open Blog - Monday

Hope it is quick and painless.

Useless Information

Did you Know:

 

Some NASCAR pit crews spray Coca-Cola on the ground to make the assault or concrete sticky so when the car comes in the pit the pit crew guys feet don’t slide when they run around the cars.

"Field Reporter Lindsay Nadrich Drops F-Bomb On Air"

Say goodbye to your fucking job.

Open Blog - Weekend

I'm waiting for a green flash.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays! It has been an extremely long week filled with stress and overtime. And it's not over yet.... Anyways some questions for you...

1) Can you roll your tongue?

2) What movie do you want to see this summer?

3) What is the cheapest price can you ever remember paying for gas?

4) What is your favorite TV show growing up?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

It's official no matter what the thermometer says.

Open Blog - Thursday

Uh-oh, I hope that Coca-Cola doesn't see this.
(Picture was removed... this one is for Ms. Beejay)

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my beautiful blossoms!  How are you?  Well, we’re finally getting some of the weather that most people like.  There’s no accounting for personal preference, though.  I have a brother-in-law that loves heat.  He also does not sweat.  Alexandru is the true Lizard King.  He lives near the equator.  Most of us are happy with a few weeks of moderate temperatures.

This is the time of year when there is so much happening in and around Racine that it boggles the mind.  Don’t be boggled.  Check out local sites and sources instead.  If Racine doesn’t have it, no one does, probably.

Junior will be in summer school to make up for work he didn’t do during the school year.  I know that he is upset, but it’s his own fault.    Do the work during the winter and avoid ruining your summer.  The thing is that I know Junior is capable of much more.  Growing up in our household, however, exposed Junior to things that most people never see.  He’s bored in school.  I’ve been thinking about sending him to a boarding school where he’ll get the attention he deserves and the discipline he needs.  Oh dear.

The local political scene is a mess.  How difficult can it be to “manage” Racine?  I suspect that the hard part is looting the public.  If you can do that with a straight face, you might be what the city wants: more white collar crooks.

The JournalTimes.com recently carried a story about a local author’s book on astral projection:  “Our Authors: Local author explores the world of astral projection in ‘Untethered’” http://journaltimes.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/our-authors-local-author-explores-the-world-of-astral-projection/article_f182361a-c898-11e2-863f-0019bb2963f4.html 

You have to be careful with astral projecting.  You have no idea how many embarrassing situations I’ve projected into.  You get better with time, but I still will occasionally miscalculate and end up where I shouldn’t be.

Thank you for stopping by to read my blog.  I’m always tickled by the attention.  I love you all.

Hoffa’s location: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

It looks like 80 degree weather for the weekend, with cool nights.  Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!  Enjoy now to remember in the winter.  Be kind to each other and show respect.  Stenopaic! 

Open Blog - Wednesday

We have water slamming into rocks on our lakefront, too, but we don't have a mountain. :-(

From HELLth to HEALth

The Benefits of

Open Blog - Tuesday

Don't get stung while checking out the beauty around you.

Some Wildflowers I Have Taken!

I thought I would share with everyone some of the Wildflowers I have taken so far this year. I just hope everyone enjoys them.

This is a Lilac Bush was taken at the Lighthouse in Racine. The dark purple is what I really liked.

This is a Mayapple flower it was taken at Harringtion Beach when we went there to visit with Drew's parents.

This is a Dame's Rocket it was taken on Cty Rd N in Kenosha. I also found out that this flower also can be found in white and pink.

This is a Eastern Red Columbine at Richard Bong State Recreational Area in Brighton Kenosha.

This is Lily of the Valley at Colonial Park in Racine. I really like this one because the look so delicate.

I do have a lot more pictures but these are the pictures I really like so far. I will be posting more during the week. I hope you enjoy these pictures because I am enjoying taking the pictures to share with you!

Open Blog - Monday

Mondays can be rough.

Useless Information

 

Did you know:

 

Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.

 

Here's one for hale-bopp

That's clever, and funny.

Happy Father's Day

Thank you, fathers. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it. Your reward is love.

"The History of Typography - Animated Short"

This is interesting.

From HELLth to Health

HELLth and HEALth  
(copyrighted)

by Barbamedic



Some A+D Ointment for your soul?

Now what I am referring to is Anxiety and Depression.  WE ALL need a cure
for this at one time or another in our lives. We all experience it, and must
learn to be proactive in our own afflictions.

 It would be so nice to have an ointment to slather and rub on to penetrate that very deep source of the emotional pain, the worry, the fear and the deep distress from within and cure it.   As quoted from A+D  about the skin   "Because it's so delicate, it requires a special understanding to help care for and nurture it".  "Care for and nurture it"  is what I extracted from this for you.  One must  be absolutely  introspective and take a deep and honest look at themselves from within. What are your symptoms? How are you feeling physically?  And mentally?  Do you have any knowledge of why you are having anxiety?

Speaking for myself, I am fully aware of WHY I feel so bad when I do.
In my years of hospital experiences, many patients come in and are so despondent
and many do not understand WHY?  Often it is a true intrinsic medical condition that they are experiencing.  Others, on the flip side of this, are the severely and chronically depressed individuals with extreme extrinsic reasons for their condition. These individuals may be in such a knot and are bound so tightly,  they cannot escape the state of HELLth they are in without professional assistance.

Management of anxiety and depression requires some work, and as I stated earlier, a commitment to being proactive for your own health.  I can offer you some tips, wish you luck, and send you prayers and good vibes.

1.)    Get a good medical physical and tell your physician about the state you are in.  There are diagnostic  tests that are very basic and can lead to many hidden diagnoses.

2.)    Work on proper sleep patterns and getting enough sleep. It may be as  simple as adding a natural sleep supplement (Melatonin)  or mild prescriptions (Lunesta and several others).

3.)    Improve your diet with better nutrition. Try adding some vitamin B complex, vitamin C,  and vitamin D.  Beware of unproven supplements, although  some are very good. Fish oil is a very good mood enhancer, as it is a basis for the building blocks of some neurotransmitters in the brain. Other supplements have been insufficiently tested and may affect you adversely.

4.)    Incorporate more exercise into your life, as approved for your condition. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins,  triggering a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine.
 
5.)    Start on a path to wellness.  Find support, make new friends, find ways to improve your life. Even small changes can make a positive difference. Take small steps initially, but always try to move in a forward direction.

6.)    Walk, walk, walk!  This is not just for exercise, but for fresh air, sunshine, feeling at one with the universe, and  inner peace.  Light increases serotonin, which is a neuro- transmitter that influences well being and mood.

7.)    Restore good grooming habits.  Look the look, talk the talk, walk the  walk.  Speak with good breath, smile with clean teeth, let the wind flow through your sparkling hair.  You will begin to feel better if you adhere to good habits.

8.)   Keep busy and incorporate the things you enjoy into your routine. Enjoy something each day, even if it  is only for a short time. Watch a sunset, spend time doing a project you love, sit by the lake, enjoy a  hot chocolate by the fire.

9.)   Do random acts of kindness.  I feel great when I go the extra mile for someone in need. The more you give of yourself the more you get....even if it is the mere enjoyment of giving and expecting nothing in return.

10.)  Get connections and come out of isolation. Share yourself by attending gatherings, joining a club,  playing card games with friends.   Isolation leads to depression and the body is known to respond as it were experiencing severe somatic illness.

There are many causes of these problems, thus the many solutions start with you! So go ahead and rub that jar of healing ointment on and begin your journey to good health.


Barbamedic  is here for you!

Remember, It's your HELLth  or  HEALth !

Open Blog - Weekend

Hopping for joy.

Chalk

Chalk..........never know when you will need it.

I love it! I am headed to the Dollar Store for some of those BIG chalk sticks!

Why you should keep a piece of chalk in your car

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone and welcome back! After a few days off, it's back to the salt mines for me.Oh, well. A man gotta do what a man's gotta do. Right? Anyways, some questions for you....

1) What kind of potatoes do you prefer with your meals?

2) What is your favorite midnight snack?

3) Can you roll your R's?

4) If you were a wrestler what would your stage name be?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Hey you, too!

"Drunk Wedding Girl Out Of Control!"

There's one at every wedding reception.

Alaska Sunset

With the recent Moon/Mercury/Venus conjunction, some people might wonder where my photos are. Well, I am in Fairbanks, Alaska and that conjunction was pretty much invisible from here as they all set about the same time as the Sun that night! Besides, sunset now is very late at night and the sky never gets dark before the Sun starts coming up again...Fairbanks is not north of the Arctic Circle so there is never a 24 hour day here, but it still never gets dark.

I wanted to see a sunset while I was up here and wanted to wait until a clear night. I was told by the locals that Murphy Dome was the place to go (about a 30 minute drive from the University of Alaska-Fairbanks campus where I am staying). I needed to get somewhere that had a decent horizon to see the Sun and that seemed to be the closest place.

I got a late start and left about midnight. According to the charts, sunset in Fairbanks was at 12:38am so I thought I was cutting it closer than I like. Of course sunset times assume a flat horizon and you are not standing on a hill...so sunset actually didn't happen until about 1:10am. Amazing what a difference terrain can make!

First, here is Murphy Dome. Yes, there is a dome.

Mosquitos are plentiful this time of year and they bite. Fortunately, clothes are a sufficient deterrent to them here (unlike Everglades mosquitos which bit through denim!) and I only got some bites on my face as the rest of me was covered up pretty well.

Here is a wide shot of where I was. 

I zoomed in as the Sun got closer to the cloud tops. There was some distortion at the top limb, but couldn't quite pull off a full green flash up there. You can see some nice distortion of the Sun near the horizon.

Although I didn't get a full mock mirage green flash, the clouds provided a nice backdrop to see a cloud-top green flash. This was visible naked eye as well as photographically.

Every now and then I get a new one that I haven't seen before that makes me think. You might notice there are some small gaps in the clouds. Well, I know you can get a cloud-top green flash, but it seems you can also get them through little holes in the clouds as well. I don't think this is due to scattering since scattering should take out the greens before the reds.

Finally, a post-sunset shot.

I am very happy I got to see a sunset from here. It is very different. The Sun skims the horizon as it sets and is very prolonged compared to the more southerly latitudes I am used to. Unfortunately, with my schedule up here, I don't think I will be able to get out for another really late night to do it again as I am dragging pretty bad today!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.