Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Is there any truth to these statements?

NICKNAMES
• If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
• When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
• A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
• A woman has the last word in any argument.
• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house

7 comments:

fungi said...

from past experience I have say they are all true.

fungi said...

oops; thinking, but not typing everything. should be "have TO say"

AvengingAngel said...

All absolutely true.

I'll add this:

Punctuality

If "Godzilla" shows up 30 minutes late, He will be derisively greeted with "Whatsa matter, you get lost?" or "You in a different time zone?".

If Sarah shows up 30 minutes late, she will either explain she was baking banana bread or blame her boyfriend. The girls will then all sigh in agreement, then spend the next 20 minutes discussing banana bread and/or men.

kkdither said...

Watch it boys...Just remember, women do hold ALL the power...if your "women folk" see what you've written here, you gonna be lonely tonight!

AvengingAngel said...

KK, No, we'll just get the "I barely tolerate you" look, then tasked with a "honey do" item.

SER said...

AA...

Is it fair to hire a maid for the list?

SER said...

KK...

I hate when that happens!!

Reminds of Three Dog Night: One is the loneliness number