Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my zestful zinnias! How are you? Hasn’t the recent weather been a blessed relief from that heat and humidity? It’s been nice to be able to open some windows and let the fresh air in, instead of being cooped up in the air conditioning. It was so steamy and so tropical around here, and for so long, that I expected to see some of Ms. Lizardmom’s wild reptile friends scampering about - or worse yet, eek, one of those snakes that occasionally find Ms. Beejay. It has been just lovely lately – except for the mosquitoes. Oh my.

If this week’s blog seems a little frazzled or at loose ends, that’s because I forgot about it until the last moment. I've been very busy this past week and things have kind of piled up. One of the big issues has been trying to get Junior ready for school. All he cares about is having the right sneakers and cell phone. If girls didn’t go to his school, I don’t think he would, either. Last week I caught him texting some hussy that his inherited psychic powers would prevent pregnancy and STDs. I know where that side of him comes from – his father. Fie on him! I gave Junior a walloping and took away his texting rights for a month. Shame, shame.

I also thought that I’d take advantage of a down time in business to do a little cleaning, in shop and inventory. Oh dear. I started more than I bargained for. The ex left a lot more baggage than I realized at the time. Add to that the overstock, discontinued items, expired pieces, promotional items, and other various byproducts of years in business, and I have a mountain of “stuff.” I started to sort through it, but I think it may be an overwhelming task. I have difficulty getting rid of anything with sentimental value. For me, that’s just about everything I’ve ever owned or touched. Or thought about. And no matter how hard I try to convince myself that “Elixir for the Vapors” will never come back into style, I just can’t throw out 425 perfectly good cases of it. Maybe I should just re-label it “Zoltar’s Energy Drink” and be done with it.

Finally, I’ve joined a support group to help me lose some weight. I consider my Irregulars to be family and I don’t mind telling you about this. I’ve had problems over the years keeping my girlish figure, and I've put on an extra pound or two, here or there. Over time it adds up and looks like an insurmountable obstacle. That’s where the help of other overweight psychics comes in. We call ourselves Presentient Overeaters Pseudonymous. We get together to talk about the issues we face in our battles of the bulge. Each week, we predict how much weight we are going to lose. With that kind of support and understanding, I have already predicted that I will lose a lot of weight, a lot. Now comes the easy part – waiting for it to happen. I'm already looking forward to fitting into my old clothes again. (I have every stitch.)

Thank you for reading my blog this week my dear, dear friends. I’m so grateful for your loyalty. I hope that each and every one of you has a wonderful week.

Please send your questions, comments, and incendiary devices to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy the beautiful weather, my sweets, and take time to smell the flowers along the way. Watch out for the pollen, though. Gesundheit!