Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my frigid friends! How are you? Have you unthawed from our overnight temperatures yet? With the wind chill, it’s colder than the surface of the moon. We certainly are having a “real” winter in Racine this year, but we’re hardly alone. Even amongst the Irregulars, we have Ms. Mary and Ms. Why Not and Ms. Minnesota Chick each battling winter in their respective locations. Ms. Beejay is probably battling bugs and snakes. If you follow the news, you know that weather patterns are screwed up worldwide and natural disasters have been occurring with frightening frequency. Most pundits ascribe this to global warming or climate change. You may believe whatever you wish, but I think I may have a better idea of why our weather is so messed up: Mother Nature is going through menopause. Shhh! That’s not the kind of thing you would want spread around about yourself, so please keep it to yourselves. But when you think about how disruptive, up and down, and downright loony some of the weather has been, my explanation makes perfect sense.

Hail, hail, o glorious Green Bay Packers! Hoorah, hoorah! Welcome back to Titletown, o noble conquerors. Thank you for returning the Lombardi Trophy to its rightful place. Thank you for playing your hearts and souls and guts out all season long for us. The Super Bowl was quite a game. Although the Packers led the entire time, I was on the edge of my seat throughout the game, especially those last few minutes when they led by only 6 and the Steelers had the ball. Oh my. But our wonderful, super-duper, extraordinary Packers saved the day. We are the champions! Thank you, mighty Packers. And thank you, mighty Packer fans.

This is a public service announcement, my dears: please vote in Racine’s mayoral primary, next Tuesday, February, 15, 2011. I know that’s a week away, but my next blog won’t appear until the day after that. I would also like to reiterate my endorsement of Mr. Eric Marcus for Mayor of Racine. I’ve liked the cut of his jib ever since he started sparring with Mayor John Dickert at City Council meetings. Mr. Marcus is not a yes-man to the “good old boys” who infect Racine’s government and politics. Besides, he already has a little extra going for him with the power of Zoltar® behind him.

Here’s an interesting little video that restores my faith in justice, if only within my age group: “Old Lady with a handbag fights off 6 Robbers armed with Sledge Hammers”



“Magnificent,” indeed. Too bad she didn’t have a brick in that handbag.

That’s my frozen blog for a frozen day, my dear readers. I hope that you are managing to stay warm and cozy. The weather prognosticators say it will warm up by the weekend, maybe even above freezing. A heat wave! Thank you for taking the time to stop by today. It’s always a pleasure to be with you.

Show me yours, and I’ll show you mine: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Be careful out there, my beloved Irregulars and regulars. These kinds of temperatures make everything as hard as a rock. If you slip or swerve, it could hurt a lot. Remember, easy does it. Let me know when you see the first robin. Jentacular!

11 comments:

lizardmom said...

that's going to be one famous granny! kudos grandma!!!

Huck Finn said...

Oh Madam, how could you be so out of touch? It must be the cold weather. In the news there is talk of new crack downs on witches and gypsies in Romania. it seems those spells they wove to protect themselves are wearing off. Time to pull off the gloves, girls and HEX those nasty politicians. What next, a tax on all religions? Hey, not a bad idea!

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Romania-may-get-even-tougher-apf-2011790780.html?x=0&.v=2

OKIE said...

Good Morning Madame

As I sit here watching it snow I have to admit, it is lovely. What also helps is I can see the cement on the driveway which means we won't be shoveling for hours like last week.
AND, in last than 38 days, SPRING WILL BE HERE!

Anonymous said...

Oh my, Mr. Huck Finn:

"There's more bad news in the cards for Romania's beleaguered witches.

"A month after Romanian authorities began taxing them for their trade, the country's soothsayers and fortune tellers are cursing a new bill that threatens fines or even prison if their predictions don't come true.

"Superstition is a serious matter in the land of Dracula, and officials have turned to witches to help the recession-hit country collect more money and crack down on tax evasion.

"Witches argue they shouldn't be blamed for the failure of their tools.

"'They can't condemn witches, they should condemn the cards,' Queen Witch Bratara Buzea told The Associated Press by telephone."

I agree with Queen Buzea. When my predictions go wrong, I blame my crystal ball. Anyway, I'd rather see truth in politicians than truth in witches.

Ms. Mary, yes, yes, SPRING is coming!

Ms. Lizardmom, I loved that woman's feistiness, too.

kkdither said...

Greetings, Madame. Thank you for your blog. I so enjoy what you offer to us each and every week. It brings a smile to my mid-week morning, knowing I'll have a good read ahead.

Good for that woman! If we all stood up to the thugs, they wouldn't be so tough. The problem is, though, many carry very dangerous weapons and are aware that the penalty for using them is next to nothing. I am very glad one of the robbers didn't whack her with their sledge hammer.

Beejay said...

Oh, please, my fellow JTIs, stay warm...me, no snakes lately...saw an american eagle and osprey today on my 10+ mile bike ride. And while the weather person assured me it would be only 70 degrees, we have topped 77 and the sun is shining. Rumor is that this last cold snap (which means the high was 64) is the last one we will experience this year. Yahoo.

Stay near the grates on the sidewalks so as to not freeze your little private parts.

Anonymous said...

Thank you again for your refreshing blog Madam Z. Hey Beejay; if you saw an "American Eagle", you must have been near an airport. I think you meant Bald Eagle.

drewzepmeister said...

As a matter of fact, I DID see a robin yesterday. It was in a tree in front of my work.I know what you guys are thinking, two feet of snow and five below-a robin? Couldn't believe it myself..

Beejay said...

I stand corrected, its name is an "American Bald Eagle," although that puzzles me cuz it certainly is not bald!!!!! Them is feathers on that head of his.

We have a nest of them over in Punta Gorda at the History Park over there. This one, however, hangs out at a retaining pond on a back road where I ride my bike...he is so majestic and I can get pretty close. I need to carry my camera with me. So cool.

As far as the American Eagle, I am also in the flight pattern for RSW (SWFL Airport in Fort Myers). Changes are, I see one almost daily. LOL.

Warm here today.

OrbsCorbs said...

Wow, drew, a robin? Spring must be around the corner.

Beejay said...

That robin got too hot down here and left...poor thing.

You know I can tell which birds are 'northern' ones merely by the weight. LOL....

Also, it was next to the 'retention pond,' not 'retaining.' My brain had a fart, I guess. Duh.