"News of the Weird: March 15, 2018"

From The Shepherd Express:

by Editors at Andrews McMeel Syndication

March 13, 2018

3:18 PM

Bachman Uber Overdrive

Kenny Bachman, 21, had a rude awakening on Friday, Feb. 23, following a night of partying with high school friends in Morgantown, W.Va. The Charlotte Observer reported that Bachman and a friend he planned on staying with stopped at a convenience store during the evening. The friend told Bachman to wait outside as he went into the store, but Bachman was gone when the friend emerged. Bachman, instead of waiting for his friend to return from the store, summoned an Uber driver to take him home—to Gloucester County, N.J. Bachman was passed out for most of the nearly 300-mile trip, which racked up a $1,636 Uber fare. He later challenged the charge but ended up paying the full amount.
The Thing That Wouldn’t Leave
A co-ed dormitory at Hunter College in New York City has become the site of a dispute between the college and 32-year-old Lisa S. Palmer, who won’t vacate her dorm room despite having discontinued her classes two years ago. Palmer, who works for an architecture firm, has “racked up a staggering $94,000 in unpaid residence hall charges,” a lawsuit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court noted. The New York Post reported on Feb. 28 that in June 2016 and fall 2017, she received eviction notices, but she won’t budge. Palmer admitted that dorm life is “really lonely. I feel very isolated.” Palmer was moved into a wing of the dorm that’s occupied only by a middle-aged nurse—whom the college is also trying to evict. In fact, Hunter is working on removing nine nurses, who were given rooms in the building when it was owned by Bellevue Hospital.
Weird Political Donation
Ana Lisa Garza, a Starr County district judge in south Texas, is running for a state House seat in District 31. Garza has received almost $90,000 in contributions to her campaign, but more than $50,000 of that has been in a most unusual currency: deer semen. Deer breeder Fred Gonzalez, treasurer of the Texas Deer Association, said breeders often donate semen instead of money. “Semen is a very common way for us to donate. One collection on a buck could lead to 60 straws [sample containers] sometimes. If you have a desirable animal, it’s a way to bring value without breaking the bank.” A campaign finance report valued each “straw” donated at $1,000. Gonzalez told the Dallas Morning News that the semen donated for Judge Garza’s campaign went into a tank sold in one lot, the proceeds of which will go to the campaign.
Blame Canada!
Miami resident Luce Rameau didn’t know what hit her on Wednesday, Feb. 28, as she lay in bed, talking on the phone. She thought a bomb had gone off as wood and debris fell on her bed. “I kept screaming, ‘What happened? What happened?’” Rameau told the Miami Herald. It wasn’t a bomb; it was an 80-pound inflatable raft that crashed through her roof after becoming untethered from a Royal Canadian Air Force search-and-rescue helicopter, which had been conducting an offshore training exercise nearby. David Lavallee, a spokesman for the RCAF, said the accident is being investigated and the air force intends to help “the resident with accommodations and other support.” Rameau suffered only minor injuries.
Now That Takes Balls
Leahman G.R. Potter, 48, neglected to conceal the evidence after he stole a pot of meatballs from a neighbor’s garage in Hazle Township, Pa. The meatball owner returned home Monday, Feb. 26, only to find Potter outside his garage, covered in tomato sauce, and his meatball pot missing, according to United Press International. When Pennsylvania State Police arrived shortly afterward, they found the pot in the street and Potter at his home, where he was charged with burglary, trespassing and theft.
Getaway Gone Weird
KTAR News in Phoenix reported that Peoria Police Department officers were called to a gas station Friday, Feb. 23, in response to a shoplifting. When they arrived, suspects Marwan Al Ebadi, 28, and Salma Hourieh, 29, set off on foot before hopping over a fence—directly into the secured parking lot of the Peoria Police Department, where both were quickly arrested and charged with shoplifting. “You should never run from the police,” said police spokesman Brandon Sheffert, “and if you do, do not run into a secure parking lot of a police station.”
Come On-A My House!
Linda Fein and her husband thought they had found their dream home in Paradise Valley, near Phoenix. They offered $1.8 million for the house and 1.3-acre lot, but then found out the house belonged to Kevin and Sandra Otterson and was the setting for their pornography website, “Wifey’s World,” founded 20 years ago. “I just can’t make Thanksgiving dinner on counters where a porn star has been…lounging around,” Fein told the Arizona Republic. In late February, the couple rescinded their offer on the four-bedroom home. “I certainly believe there are people out there who wouldn’t care about the house being used for those purposes,” Fein explained. “I’m just not one of them.”

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