So this Air Force Chief goes on an adultery and sexual harassment binge, and at his court marshal he claims that he was "Caught up in a cycle of sin." It's like the Race Card Christians use as a get out of jail card. I've been asked more than once the question of "If you don't believe in a god, what keeps you in check?" Well, the golden rule. I treat everybody or try to as I want to get treated myself. Anyway, an old comedy skit hit me from years gone by. I bring you Flip Wilson at the Ed Sullivan Show doing his skit, "The devil made me do it."
Monday, January 24, 2011
Party at Bee Jay's!
What can I tell you...we know how to party???? Well, the Packers were playing and it was the dog's birthday??? Decisions, decisions! All turned out well! 
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Game Day Blog
NFC Championship Game - 2:00 PM CST - Soldier Field - TV: Fox (Channel 6), Radio: AM-620
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Name that color and scent
Here's to a strange post -
if you had to give a color and scent to things, what would it be?
Examples for me -
Happiness would be yellow and the scent would be lilac. Someday I would love to have an area of lilacs with a table set inside just surrounded. To me, it is the most beautiful scent there is. I love vanilla but something about lilac tops it all.
Sad, I guess would be gray and smell like dirt?
what do you think?
What scents make you feel something? good? bad? reactions to colors?
ah yes, a tired mind at work, indulge me here :)
if you had to give a color and scent to things, what would it be?
Examples for me -
Happiness would be yellow and the scent would be lilac. Someday I would love to have an area of lilacs with a table set inside just surrounded. To me, it is the most beautiful scent there is. I love vanilla but something about lilac tops it all.
Sad, I guess would be gray and smell like dirt?
what do you think?
What scents make you feel something? good? bad? reactions to colors?
ah yes, a tired mind at work, indulge me here :)
WOW, so pretty!!
I know there was no way to get a picture of the beauty that was outside at 3am this morning, but the new snow shimmered as if covered in diamond dust, mesmerizing and absolutely gorgeous, I just wanted to keep driving to keep it sparkling, it was the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. Please tell me I wasn't the only one to see that incredible site!!
Ok, yes, I - ME - I was actually excited by the beauty of the snow, it really isn't ALL evil, just the driving in it part when there are other people on the road, but this morning was the best drive to work I've ever had!! :)
Ok, yes, I - ME - I was actually excited by the beauty of the snow, it really isn't ALL evil, just the driving in it part when there are other people on the road, but this morning was the best drive to work I've ever had!! :)
Friday, January 21, 2011
OK, let's just call it Poetry
A couple of weeks ago, I had the idea to start an irregular feature entitled Poetry Corner:
http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/01/poetry-corner.html
As it turned out, the JTI already had blogs featuring and/or about poetry published with the labels Poetry, Poems, Poetry Corner, and Poem. In an effort to simplify matters, I've decided to go with just the label Poetry. That's what the feature will be titled in the sidebar and previous labels will be amended. If you post a blog containing poetry and/or about poetry, please add the label Poetry when you are composing it (lower right corner of the composition form). Thank you.
Live Black Bear Den
This is a live webcam for Lily, a black bear in Ely, MN. She had a cub last year (Hope) and has just given birth to two cubs this afternoon!
It's kind of cool to watch. I didn't see the births, but I did just see her face!
Check it out!
http://www.bear.org/livecams/lily-hope-cam.html
It's kind of cool to watch. I didn't see the births, but I did just see her face!
Check it out!
http://www.bear.org/livecams/lily-hope-cam.html
Giffords Leaves Tucson
You may have seen on the news that Gabrielle Giffords is leaving Tucson today to continue her physical therapy in Houston where her husband is based as an astronaut. The move makes sense from the perspective of her family.
The route from the hospital to the airport passed about two blocks from my office so I walked down there this morning. News chopper flying overhead and some media photographers on the sidewalks as well as members of the community coming out to wish her well.
The police at the front of the procession.
The ambulance in which she was riding. Obviously she couldn't wave to the crowd or even see them, but that didn't seem to matter to the people lining the street.
Some motorcycles from the local VFW brought up the rear of the procession. I was kind of surprised they didn't lead it (at least after the first wave of motorcycle cops cleared the way).
I was watching the twitter feed as I was waiting to see if they were on schedule (they were) and was happy to see many people from Texas welcoming her and saying she would be well cared for there. The only negative thing I saw was some people complaining that their local station cut into the Price is Right to cover this and a few people criticizing them for publishing the route of the procession.
On a slightly lighter note, has anyone else seen the coverage of her using an iPad? Apple must be thrilled with the free publicity they are getting from this!
The route from the hospital to the airport passed about two blocks from my office so I walked down there this morning. News chopper flying overhead and some media photographers on the sidewalks as well as members of the community coming out to wish her well.
The police at the front of the procession.
The ambulance in which she was riding. Obviously she couldn't wave to the crowd or even see them, but that didn't seem to matter to the people lining the street.
Some motorcycles from the local VFW brought up the rear of the procession. I was kind of surprised they didn't lead it (at least after the first wave of motorcycle cops cleared the way).I was watching the twitter feed as I was waiting to see if they were on schedule (they were) and was happy to see many people from Texas welcoming her and saying she would be well cared for there. The only negative thing I saw was some people complaining that their local station cut into the Price is Right to cover this and a few people criticizing them for publishing the route of the procession.
On a slightly lighter note, has anyone else seen the coverage of her using an iPad? Apple must be thrilled with the free publicity they are getting from this!
One Day at Gurnee Mills
A Chicago family went shopping at Gurnee Mills. The son asks to go into the Sports Authority. As he is there he is pondering a life change. The spirit of St. Lombadi enters the boy. He grabs a Aaron Rodgers jersey and walks up to his mom.
"Mom?" "Yes Son?" "I'd like to become a Packers fan and would like this Jersey. His mom whacks him in the head and says "Go see your Father!"
The kid walks up to his Dad, Packer Jersey in hand.
"Dad?" "Yes Son?" "Dad, I am now a Green Bay Packers fan and would like this #12 Jersey." The Dad whacks him on the head, takes the jersey away and states "No son of mine will ever ever wear this! Go go get in the car!"
On the way home, the Dad turns to his Son and asks him "So I hope you have learned something today Son"
"I sure have Dad! I've only been a Packer fan for one hour and I already hate you FIB's!
"Mom?" "Yes Son?" "I'd like to become a Packers fan and would like this Jersey. His mom whacks him in the head and says "Go see your Father!"
The kid walks up to his Dad, Packer Jersey in hand.
"Dad?" "Yes Son?" "Dad, I am now a Green Bay Packers fan and would like this #12 Jersey." The Dad whacks him on the head, takes the jersey away and states "No son of mine will ever ever wear this! Go go get in the car!"
On the way home, the Dad turns to his Son and asks him "So I hope you have learned something today Son"
"I sure have Dad! I've only been a Packer fan for one hour and I already hate you FIB's!
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! It's Friday again? Whoa...Either I've been sleeping the whole week or the week flew fast. This week's questions are about the big game.
1) Are you going to watch the Packer/Bear game this Sunday?
2) Who do think is going to win?
3) What your prediction for the final score?
4) Are you doing anything special in preparing for the game?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) Are you going to watch the Packer/Bear game this Sunday?
2) Who do think is going to win?
3) What your prediction for the final score?
4) Are you doing anything special in preparing for the game?
Enjoy your weekend!
Hale Bopp, about the speed of light
You are standing still and a train goes by. You notice it's speed. Now you're in a train car with no windows, and a glass smooth track so you don't feel the clacking jars as the wheels pass over the rail joints. You toss a ball between you and a friend, and the ball to your present perception is just moving at the speed it's thrown.
A jet is moving through the air at Mach 3. it's gotten quieter in the cockpit, because the jet is moving faster than the noise it is producing. The pilot keys his mic and talks to the tower. His voice is being spoken in a bubble of air (interior of the cockpit) that is moving at Mach 3 so the sounds he makes seem normal in that enclosed environment.
A space ship is flying near/at the speed of light. Light as we know it is perceived far differently depending upon which direction an observer is viewing. Blue shift red shift. An observer inside the spaceship however turns on a light and views his surroundings with no problem. I understand the Doppler affect of a train whistle as it goes by, but wonder what exactly happens if a search light were aimed forward of the speeding space ship. Would the photons/light energy be amassed near the front of the space ship? Sort of a "Photon torpedo," or would it become a different form of energy that travels faster than the speed of light. Because everything gains in mass the nearer it approaches the speed limit of light, why don't photons have annihilating properties? They are traveling at light speed, so they should ave infinite mass. Their mass is used for solar sails and move space craft with light pressure
I'm curious and want to know. I hate junk science in sci-fi and want to write a good one.
A jet is moving through the air at Mach 3. it's gotten quieter in the cockpit, because the jet is moving faster than the noise it is producing. The pilot keys his mic and talks to the tower. His voice is being spoken in a bubble of air (interior of the cockpit) that is moving at Mach 3 so the sounds he makes seem normal in that enclosed environment.
A space ship is flying near/at the speed of light. Light as we know it is perceived far differently depending upon which direction an observer is viewing. Blue shift red shift. An observer inside the spaceship however turns on a light and views his surroundings with no problem. I understand the Doppler affect of a train whistle as it goes by, but wonder what exactly happens if a search light were aimed forward of the speeding space ship. Would the photons/light energy be amassed near the front of the space ship? Sort of a "Photon torpedo," or would it become a different form of energy that travels faster than the speed of light. Because everything gains in mass the nearer it approaches the speed limit of light, why don't photons have annihilating properties? They are traveling at light speed, so they should ave infinite mass. Their mass is used for solar sails and move space craft with light pressure
I'm curious and want to know. I hate junk science in sci-fi and want to write a good one.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
What Should I Do?
First, there was the Nike commercial featuring professional basketball player Lebron James:
Now comes the Brett Favre parody commercial, made by Tony Yacenda and Dan Perrault, featuring Sean Carrigan as Brett Favre: [Adult Language & Situations]
Personally, I don't care what he does.
Now comes the Brett Favre parody commercial, made by Tony Yacenda and Dan Perrault, featuring Sean Carrigan as Brett Favre: [Adult Language & Situations]
Personally, I don't care what he does.
Simulating a Curious Landing
The next generation Mars rover, named Curiosity, is scheduled to launch later this year. Construction is nearing the final phases and lots of tests are being conducted on Curiosity. The latest test is a test of the landing system. JPL released a short video of the test.
Curiosity can't use the airbag system of previous rovers as it is too big and heavy, hence the sky crane concept. Curiosity will be the first spacecraft to use this system so the testing has to be rigorous. You can see from the video, a platform has small rockets on it that hovers while the rover is lowered to the surface. The rockets won't be able to make this craft hover for long since they carry very limited fuel so they only get one shot at it. Everything has to work perfectly the first time without intervention from us on Earth (Mars is much too far away...round trip light travel time varies from about 8 minutes to over 20 minutes depending on their positions in their respective orbits).
If you want to watch curiosity under construction, JPL has a "Curiosity Cam".Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
The "I'm too stupid" files
Another case of "The coffee is hot, be careful" idiocy. Lawsuits. anyone can play if they're stupid. This gal is suing the mall for not coming to her aid. I'm going huh? She was drowning? She needs to dye her blond. She does a disservice to brunets.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Retroactive Political Correctness
"Radio stations told to censor Dire Straits"
"(Reuters) - Canadian radio stations have been warned to censor the 1985 Dire Straits hit 'Money for Nothing,' after a complaint that the lyrics of the Grammy Award-winning song were derogatory to gay men.
"A St. John's, Newfoundland, station should have edited the song to remove the word
'faggot' because it violates Canada's human rights standards, according to ruling this week by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council.
"A unnamed listener to OZ FM in the Atlantic Coast province complained to the industry watchdog last year after hearing the song, which features Dire Straits frontman Mark Knopfler and fellow rock star Sting.
"The council said it realized Dire Straits uses the word sarcastically, and its use might have been acceptable in 1985 when the best-selling 'Brothers in Arms' album was released, but said it was now inappropriate.
. . .
"The ruling comes in the wake of an uproar sparked by a U.S. scholar who decided to publish an edition of Mark Twain's novel 'Huckleberry Finn' that would remove the word 'nigger' to make it less offensive to some readers."
It's sad that some people feel the need to impose their notions of what is "proper" not only on their contemporaries, but even on the past. What's next? Putting clothes on nudes in paintings and sculpture? Shakespeare's work is full of bawdy material. Ban the bard!
Personally, I thought Dire Straits' "Money for Nothing" was kick-ass then, and I still think it's kick-ass today:
"i carry your heart with me"
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
-- e. e. cummings (1894 -1962)
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
-- e. e. cummings (1894 -1962)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._E._Cummings
"Burglars snort man's ashes, thought it was cocaine"
"(Reuters) - Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said on Wednesday.
"The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.
"Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.
"'The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine,' the sheriff's report said."
That is funny, sad and macabre, all at the same time.
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my pert Packer backers! How are you? The big chill is supposed to be upon us this week. Oh my, I really dislike it when the temperature gets near zero or below. I may have to give Ms. Beejay a visit in Florida, or perhaps Mr. hale-bopp in Arizona. I’m willing to go anywhere that is warm. (Mind you, hell is hot, not warm.) Maybe I’ll astral project myself to someplace tropical. Aruba? Mr. logjam just returned from Cancun – perhaps there? Oh, I don’t know, but if it gets too cold, I may take off for a few days in the sun.Of course, if I do go, I’ll make sure I see the Green Bay Packers play. (Astral television now comes in HD.) Wasn’t the spanking that the Packers gave the Atlanta Falcons last Saturday something? The game started so ominously for the Packers, and the crowd noise was unbelievable. However, the game was already over at half time. Mr. Aaron Rodgers displayed a superb command of the game, as did the rest of the Packers. Now our green and gold gladiators face the infamous Chicago Bears on their home turf this Sunday for the NFC Championship, and a trip to the Super Bowl. Oh dear, this will be a battle that scribes will write about for ages. Songs will be sung and poems will be written about this game. The legendary Packers-Bears rivalry will explode on Soldier Field this weekend. Don’t miss the Packers beating the Bears in their own backyard. Onward, our Wisconsin warriors, to the Super Bowl!
I hope that all of you made it safely through the snowfall we had on Monday. It seems to me that the winter drivers get worse every year. If it isn’t someone who has no idea of how to drive in this weather, then it’s Mr. Overconfident, blasting along in his 4 wheel drive Conestoga wagon, rushing past everyone else. A tow truck driver once told me that he likes 4 wheel drive vehicles because they get stuck deeper in snow or mud and then he can charge more to free them. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who don’t clean the snow and ice from their car. While they drive, snow blows off or breaks loose and hinders others drivers. Meanwhile, they can’t see a thing around them because they’ve only cleared a little space to look out of the windshield. And their lights are blocked by ice, too. Oh, that steams me! One of these days I will find myself behind such an ignorant driver and they may feel the wrath of Zoltar power.
As a public service, I thought I’d post a video of winter driving tips. As it turns out, there are a lot of winter driving tip videos out there. After watching about a dozen, I still had not seen one that covered all of the bases. I finally settled on the one below, “Safe Winter Driving Tips from The Hartford.” Of course, it contains a plug for Hartford insurance at the end. (Almost all of the videos were sponsored by some company or the other.)
And this video concerns one of my pet causes for winter:
Thank you one and all for taking the time to read my blog today. I do so enjoy having you visit. Quality time, spent with quality people - is anything better?
I predict that your future awaits you here: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Be very careful driving and walking out there. Stay alert and you won’t get hurt. And bundle up for the deep freeze. Brrr! I love you all. Umquhile!
Epic Escalator Man
You know it's a slow day in the funny video business when Epic Escalator Man is the best that you can come up with.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Weekend After in Tucson
I was out of town and today is the first chance I had to go visit the various sites you have been seeing on the news the last week.
First outside her office. I pass this corner near the turnaround on a 12 mile running route I do.
Now to University Medical Center. This is an easy walk from where I work and where I was taken after my auto accident and where I have said goodbye to a couple of friends.
Finally to the Safeway (which is open again).
First outside her office. I pass this corner near the turnaround on a 12 mile running route I do.
Now to University Medical Center. This is an easy walk from where I work and where I was taken after my auto accident and where I have said goodbye to a couple of friends.
Finally to the Safeway (which is open again).
Packers Versus da Bears
The Sea Hawks aren't going to manage spanking the Bears it looks like. Now that Buckets is non-smoking, I might enjoy the game over there next week. Unless my neighbor is having a party.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Are You Watching the Packers Game Tonight?
I am. This one is for the North Division Championship of the NFC. I'm normally not much of a football fan, but the Green Bay Packers have been very exciting this season.
Are you watching the game at home? Having a football party? Going to one? I'll watch it at home. I have a TV tuner card in my computer and can watch as I surf online.
Go Pack! Take down the Falcons!
http://www.packers.com/
Friday, January 14, 2011
Some Disturbing News....
I was just checking though the JTI comments awaiting moderation and those marked as spam by the filter. I was surprised at the vast number of comments we received for penis enlargement. Were any of you aware that we had that problem? I just wish they would have had the nerve to tell us that to our face instead of posting it anonymously! ;o
Greenland's Early Sunrise
The latest thing going around the internet today is that the Sun rose on in a small burg called Ilulissat in Greenland on January 11th. Ilulissat is north of the arctic circle so it experiences 24 hours of darkness for several weeks. Nothing unusual there.
The unusual part is that the Sun usually rises again on January 13th. Therefore, the Sun came back two days early and the question is why.
The first thing to do is to verify the claims is true. I checked out the NOAA Sunrise/Sunset calculator (after finding what I think is the lat/long of Ilulissat. There are lots of places with similar names in Greenland!) and the US Naval Observatory. Sure enough, January 12th, no sunrise. January 13th, there is a sunrise and a very short day. Okay, NOAA and USNO agree with the prediction and they are pretty reputable in such matters.
The next thing is to verify the observation. This part is much trickier. The story has gone viral on the web. The best I can tell, it started with a story in the Daily Mail. Read it and you can see the details of who made the observations and where are pretty sketchy...okay, non-existant. No mention of the time of the observation, how long the Sun stayed up, location of observation, azimuth of the Sun (I don't consider the stock photo they used in the story to have any bearing on anything) or who made the observation. A photo of the sunrise with an identifiable landmark would have been REALLY useful!
Now on to the possible why (assuming it really happened).
First, let's get rid of all the crackpot theories. Earth's rotational axis has not changed. Astronomers use telescopes every night and measure the positions of stars down to tenths of an arc second (or finer) resolution every night. If something had happened like that, everyone around here would be totally whigged out about now, yet calm prevails at observatories around the world. This is not related to the bird deaths, 2012 non-sense, magnetic pole shifting, etc.
The idea that is getting the most play and traction is that global warming is to blame. Greenland has been well above average this year by about 3 degrees Celsius. The running idea is that the glaciers are melting and the horizon is lower. A lower horizon lets the Sun peak above it a little earlier. If this is the case, surveying crews should be able to make some measurements and confirm or deny this rather quickly.
I decided to play around a little bit and see what I could find out. Checking out the NOAA Solar Position Calculator , I found the center of the Sun was only 0.68 degrees below the horizon at local noon. Since the Sun has a radius of about .27 degrees, the center of the Sun was only .41 degrees below the horizon. Converting to radians gives an angle of about .007 radians. So now I have a pretty good idea of the the angle the tip of the glaciers must have descended to let the sun rise two days early.
But how many meters of melting would have to take place? The math is easy, but knowing the numbers to use is difficult. The answer depends very much on how far away these glaciers are located. Looking at Google Earth and Google maps is of limited utility since you I would need to know exactly where they were looking!
However, I can still make some general calculations here. Let's say the horizon is 10,000meters away (about six miles). The height the glaciers must have lost is simply the angle times the distance to the mountains (using the small angle approximation here and the angle is small enough that works pretty well) or 10,000*.007 = 70 meters or about 220 feet! Of course, if the glacier is much closer, the amount of ice lost could be much smaller. If you were 1000 meters away, it would only need to lose 7 meters (about 22 feet) off the top. However, without information on exactly where the observation was made, there's not much you can say about it (although that hasn't stopped any of the whackos out there!)
Now I should also point out that it could also be due to the ground rising. As glaciers melt, the ground will rise as there is less weight on it. I doubt this could rise enough in one year to create the effect by itself, but if the glaciers fell a little and the ground rose you might be in business.
However there are other explanations. Accuweather proposed an unusual concentration of methane in the atmosphere may have changed the index of refraction of the atmosphere at let the Sun be visible a couple of days early. I find this implausible as the amount of methane needed to do this would be huge! Volcanic eruptions can release enough pollutants into the atmosphere to give colorful sunsets, but even they do not change the atmosphere enough to affect the time of sunsets!
Much more likely is an atmospheric phenomena. A certain rare but understood shape of ice crystal (called a pyramidilly-terminated hexagonal prism for those following along at home) can produce a halo with a radius of 4 degrees. This halo would extend a little above the horizon giving the illusion of a sunrise. I think it is fairly safe to say that Greenland is cold enough for atmospheric ice crystals to form at this time of year. These are pretty rare but then again this doesn't happen every year! Again, a good picture of this would be amazingly useful.
Although I need more info, I would put my money on the small halo. The amount of ice that would have to fall off the top of a glacier is pretty large and a fall of that size probably would have been noticed so let's see some evidence of it (I know this just happened and in a pretty remote place, so I am willing to give them a little time to get the info here).
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Thank God, it's Friday! It's been a long week of overtime... This week's questions are about vacations.
1) When was the last time you took a vacation?
2) Where did you go to?
3) If you could just take a vacation right now, where would you go?
4) Where and when was your favorite vacation?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) When was the last time you took a vacation?
2) Where did you go to?
3) If you could just take a vacation right now, where would you go?
4) Where and when was your favorite vacation?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Always Be Polite
Powdering My Nose!
A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.
So he turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose."
And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then," says the little girl, "You'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."
A little boy and girl are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to take a pee and he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.
So he turns to the little girl and says, "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose."
And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back the little girl looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes," said the little boy stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then," says the little girl, "You'd better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out."
Snow Falling in the UK - Waist Deep!
I just got off the phone with a friend in the UK.
He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window.
He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Ornery winter time blahs
Sometimes you just need to blow something up. The kid in me laughed hard at this video. Hope you enjoy it too.
More Bird deaths reported
Officials have discovered more mass bird deaths reported. The latest was found in Philadelphia. Officials found 53 dead eagles. They are now worried about a group of falcons located in Georgia, and have dispatched a team from Wisconsin to check on them.
Officials are expecting to find more destruction on Saturday night.
More on this story as it happens.
Officials are expecting to find more destruction on Saturday night.
More on this story as it happens.
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my sassy snowballs! How are you? We received another blanket of snow to grace our homes and streets. Just lovely, isn’t it? On my personal calendar, winter starts December 1 and ends February 28 (or 29). Spring: March, April, and May. Summer: June, July, and August. Fall: September, October, and November. So this Saturday is January 15, which means winter will be half over. Huzzah! Huzzah! It will be downhill from then on. I don’t care what Mr. T.S. Eliot said about April being the cruelest month; February can be a b-i-t-c-h. At least it’s short. I know it snows in March, dears, just like it sometimes does in November, but green buds peak up through the snow in March and that’s all the encouragement I need. Also encouraging, even intoxicating, was our exalted and majestic Green Bay Packers’ win over the Philadelphia Eagles last Sunday. Our glorious Pack has been devastated and dilapidated by injuries this year, yet somehow they keep coming back to win. Now, on to the Divisional Championship game against the Atlanta Falcons this Saturday night! Please, most noble Packers, please pulverize your opponents so that they may know the might of cheese head power.
I know that we’re gaining a minute and a half of daylight with each day since the solstice, but the skies are still so glum this time of year. I think maybe I’m getting a case of the winter blahs, or blues. I noticed that a couple of other Irregulars mentioned that in their comments, too. As a public service, and in an effort to cheer myself up, I’ve “researched” the subject online (i.e., on YouTube). Here are my findings:
Or you could just take some antidepressants, which keep your serotonin levels high. Here are some suggestions for chasing away the winter blahs with Feng Shui:
Oh my, keep your doors clear so that when opportunity comes to knock, it doesn’t slip and fall, suing you for everything you’re worth. Finally, here’s a Today Show segment with Katie Couric on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):
Well, I hope that some of the above helps you if you have the winter blues. I have a special potion, Madame Zoltar’s® Blues-B-Gon™, but it has not yet been approved for sale in the United States (or anywhere else on the planet). I’m also considering marketing it as a gasoline additive.
Thank you my wonderful friends for visiting with me this week. I love spending time with you. How can we have the blues for long when we have each other? Our friendship warms us through the winter.
It’s tax time – contact me for “special handling” of your returns: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Hugs and kisses to you all. Keep warm, drive safe, take care of yourselves. Bullimong!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Ketchup Robot Fail
It's good to know that researchers and scientists relentlessly seek new ways to improve our lives.
Funny, Offensive or both?
The story that goes with this ad is that Pepsi had a contest to produce and ad and people would vote on the best one. The winner would air during the Super Bowl. This ad was supposedly ahead and the Catholic Church got it pulled (and have been trying to get it pulled from everywhere so we'll see if that's true and this link dies).
It made me laugh. I put the disclaimer on there since the only references I can find are really other blog sites...I would think Advertising Age or someone like that would have an official story on this if it were true, so enjoy, but take it with a big old grain of salt (and if you find confirmation of the story, feel free to post it).
It made me laugh. I put the disclaimer on there since the only references I can find are really other blog sites...I would think Advertising Age or someone like that would have an official story on this if it were true, so enjoy, but take it with a big old grain of salt (and if you find confirmation of the story, feel free to post it).
Monday, January 10, 2011
15th Disney Marathon, Complete
Yep, just a quick happy update. Did my fifteenth consecutive Disney Marathon yesterday after getting back on my feet from the accident in September. Ran better than I expected. I lost a lot of training. I thought I would finish, but that the speed may be down quite a bit. Only a few minutes slower than last year, much closer than I expected. Good training next year and I could go even faster.
Weather was wonderful. Mid-40s and calm wind at the start. Mild breeze at the end, but it warmed up enough by then that it was still comfortable. Lots of characters on the course this year...maybe I could have come closer to last year's time if I didn't stop so much for pictures!
For the first time ever, they gave marathon finishers a free ticket to the parks for "Marathon Monday". You had to bring your finisher's medal, so just entering the race didn't get you the tix.
Good days. Signing up for #16 as soon as registration opens.
Weather was wonderful. Mid-40s and calm wind at the start. Mild breeze at the end, but it warmed up enough by then that it was still comfortable. Lots of characters on the course this year...maybe I could have come closer to last year's time if I didn't stop so much for pictures!
For the first time ever, they gave marathon finishers a free ticket to the parks for "Marathon Monday". You had to bring your finisher's medal, so just entering the race didn't get you the tix.
Good days. Signing up for #16 as soon as registration opens.
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Unemployment Benefits
Congress has announced they intend to make it more difficult to claim Unemployment Benefits.
Starting next Monday the forms will be printed in English.
Starting next Monday the forms will be printed in English.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Tragic Events of Yesterday
Well, I am going to try and take a shot at this volatile topic. Hope I can do it some justice and I will mention a few things I think the MSM is missing on this one.
First, the disclaimer. Many of you know I live in Tucson and I live in Giffords district so she is my rep. I have voted for her three times (don't worry, not in the same election!) She is not a perfect rep, but I have never had a doubt she was the better choice in her races. She has been rated one of the more centrist members of Congress (although here health care vote drew the ire of conservatives leading to her office being vandalized earlier this year). One of her strong passions is space science, not surprising since she married an astronaut. I should also mention that I am not in Arizona right now (Florida, Disney Marathon time) so the coverage I have gotten is the national coverage and not the local coverage from Tucson.
The first thing I think needs to be pointed out is that there are millions of people in this country that have not seen an assassination attempt on a major political figure. I was too young for the Kennedy's and King's assassination. I was in middle school during the Reagan assassination attempt and even though I was probably above average in political awareness for my age, hey, I was still in middle school. This was a little over 30 years ago, so people much younger than me probably don't remember it at all. This is something that happens in other countries to a huge chunk of our population. Some of my memories of Reagan's assassination attempt were of the doctors remarking how fit he was and he humor asking if they were Republicans (although I believe I have since read his injuries were potentially much more serious but the doctors did a bang up job).
And I got to say, I was pretty upset by the whole thing. I compare it to Michael Jackson's death. Sure, I thought it was too bad that Jackson died, but I pretty much went about my life at the time. Yesterday, I was glued to the news updates, had a sinking feeling when reports said she died and was on the edge of my seat when she was in surgery. And pretty damn pissed at the six deaths and other injuries (although fortunately, they are all out of he ICU except Giffords). I was tossing and turning last night having difficulty sleeping, thinking about what happened.
Which leads me to my second observation: I have yet to see a major news outlet call this an assassination attempt when that term obviously fits! An assassination is the murder of a prominent person, frequently for political reasons. The shooter obviously tried to do that so let's call it by it's proper name.
Now onto the media firestorm. Much has been made of Sarah Palin's map putting certain politicians in the crosshairs "targeting" them during the mid-term elections (now removed from her website but it's easy to find screen captures on the internet) and her "reload" tweet. Sharon Angle made her "Second Amendment solutions" remark as well. Many have talked about heated political rhetoric from selected politicians and commentators as having contributed to this tragedy. Her opponent in the most recent election held a "Get on Target for Victory" event where he invited donors to shoot M-16s with him.
At this point however, we simply don't know his motivations. He was captured but isn't talking. What role, if any, this rhetoric may or may not have played in the shootings is unclear. An investigation is underway. Maybe the guy will at some point come out and say "I was putting Palin's plan into action". He could end up saying "Sarah who now?" The early indications are the guy had problems before anyone knew who Sarah Palin is. Stating what role the rhetoric may have played is not possible at this point (of course, dismissing it out of hand is just as naive).
One more note on the rhetoric, I don't think Palin was advocating someone to go out and shoot these politicians. However, she should not be so surprised that when something like this happens, someone will bring it up and latch onto it, especially in the sadness, hurt and anger that accompany an event of this horrific nature. The fact that it was removed from her website so quickly after the shooting indicates she realizes that was an "oops" moment.
Finally, I think all the responders, EMTs and the staff of University Medical Center deserve a big shout out (that's where I was airlifted to after my accident last fall) for that they have done so far and I wish them continued success in their work.
I know this is a volatile topic and I have tried to express myself without being unnecessarily inflammatory. All I ask is that when you respond, you take a deep breath and do the same.
First, the disclaimer. Many of you know I live in Tucson and I live in Giffords district so she is my rep. I have voted for her three times (don't worry, not in the same election!) She is not a perfect rep, but I have never had a doubt she was the better choice in her races. She has been rated one of the more centrist members of Congress (although here health care vote drew the ire of conservatives leading to her office being vandalized earlier this year). One of her strong passions is space science, not surprising since she married an astronaut. I should also mention that I am not in Arizona right now (Florida, Disney Marathon time) so the coverage I have gotten is the national coverage and not the local coverage from Tucson.
The first thing I think needs to be pointed out is that there are millions of people in this country that have not seen an assassination attempt on a major political figure. I was too young for the Kennedy's and King's assassination. I was in middle school during the Reagan assassination attempt and even though I was probably above average in political awareness for my age, hey, I was still in middle school. This was a little over 30 years ago, so people much younger than me probably don't remember it at all. This is something that happens in other countries to a huge chunk of our population. Some of my memories of Reagan's assassination attempt were of the doctors remarking how fit he was and he humor asking if they were Republicans (although I believe I have since read his injuries were potentially much more serious but the doctors did a bang up job).
And I got to say, I was pretty upset by the whole thing. I compare it to Michael Jackson's death. Sure, I thought it was too bad that Jackson died, but I pretty much went about my life at the time. Yesterday, I was glued to the news updates, had a sinking feeling when reports said she died and was on the edge of my seat when she was in surgery. And pretty damn pissed at the six deaths and other injuries (although fortunately, they are all out of he ICU except Giffords). I was tossing and turning last night having difficulty sleeping, thinking about what happened.
Which leads me to my second observation: I have yet to see a major news outlet call this an assassination attempt when that term obviously fits! An assassination is the murder of a prominent person, frequently for political reasons. The shooter obviously tried to do that so let's call it by it's proper name.
Now onto the media firestorm. Much has been made of Sarah Palin's map putting certain politicians in the crosshairs "targeting" them during the mid-term elections (now removed from her website but it's easy to find screen captures on the internet) and her "reload" tweet. Sharon Angle made her "Second Amendment solutions" remark as well. Many have talked about heated political rhetoric from selected politicians and commentators as having contributed to this tragedy. Her opponent in the most recent election held a "Get on Target for Victory" event where he invited donors to shoot M-16s with him.
At this point however, we simply don't know his motivations. He was captured but isn't talking. What role, if any, this rhetoric may or may not have played in the shootings is unclear. An investigation is underway. Maybe the guy will at some point come out and say "I was putting Palin's plan into action". He could end up saying "Sarah who now?" The early indications are the guy had problems before anyone knew who Sarah Palin is. Stating what role the rhetoric may have played is not possible at this point (of course, dismissing it out of hand is just as naive).
One more note on the rhetoric, I don't think Palin was advocating someone to go out and shoot these politicians. However, she should not be so surprised that when something like this happens, someone will bring it up and latch onto it, especially in the sadness, hurt and anger that accompany an event of this horrific nature. The fact that it was removed from her website so quickly after the shooting indicates she realizes that was an "oops" moment.
Finally, I think all the responders, EMTs and the staff of University Medical Center deserve a big shout out (that's where I was airlifted to after my accident last fall) for that they have done so far and I wish them continued success in their work.
I know this is a volatile topic and I have tried to express myself without being unnecessarily inflammatory. All I ask is that when you respond, you take a deep breath and do the same.
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