Bronchitis

Dead crows near Halifax N.S.,

They just recently found over 200 dead crows near Halifax N.S., and there was concern that they may have died from the Avian Flu virus.

A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.

However, he was also able to determine that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with large trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact.

The Province of Nova Scotia hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine the disproportionate percentages for the large truck versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.

When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out Crow
in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck."

Now you know!

"Sex Offender Placement Moved Because It's Too Close to Victim"

From Mount Pleasant Patch:

"The state Department of Health Services confirmed Wednesday that convicted sex offender Michael Fink will not be moved to a home on Lathrop Avenue in Manree Park.

"In an email to Patch, DHS spokeswoman Claire Smith said the reason Fink's release is being relocated is because one of his victims lives in the area.

"'I can confirm that we will not be placing Mr. Fink at the location that was proposed,' she wrote. 'We make every effort to ensure that individuals who are placed in the community are not placed near their victims. Had we known that a victim lived within a block or two, we would not have chosen that location.'

"A public information meeting had been scheduled for Thursday at Fratt School to help explain to neighborhood residents the conditions of Fink's release from Sand Ridge Secure Treatment Center, where he has been since 2008. That meeting is canceled now that Fink's placement is being re-evaluated."

Read more:  http://mountpleasant.patch.com/articles/sex-offender-meeting-cancelled


Where should we put these people?

"Learning to Cuss"

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.

The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss." The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.

WHACK!

He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!"


I got that one in an email from Toad. Thank you, Toad!

"MPD - Clerk pulls gun on knife wielding robber"

From RacineUncovered.org:



Read more: http://racineuncovered.org/2013/01/clerk-pulls-gun-on-knife-wielding-robber/

Well, that should add more fuel to the fire.

Open Blog - Thursday

She's everywhere.

5 surgeons!

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best patients to operate on. The first surgeon, from New York, says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.' The second, from Chicago, responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.' The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.' The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.' But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.'

It's Only January

It's only January and my tree is starting to Bud out!

 

 

Hooded Merganser

Has anybody been down the harbor lately? If not, you should! Between now till spring is a great time to see a wide and diverse collection of waterfowl along the lakefront. Now that many of the inland lakes and ponds have frozen up many species of ducks have taken to the open waters of the Great Lakes. The Hooded Merganser is one of them.

The smallest of the three mergansers found in North America, the Hooded Merganser male sports an inflatable head crest of feathers that is used to attract the females.Adult males are a sight to behold, with sharp black-and-white patterns set off by chestnut flanks. Mergansers are fairly common on small ponds and rivers in Canada and Northern United States, where they dive for fish, crayfish, and other food, seizing it in their thin, serrated bills. They nest in tree cavities; the ducklings depart with a bold leap to the forest floor when only one day old.

I've seen a quite a few Hoodies around here this winter, mostly in the calmer waters by Carre Hagel Park, the Festival Park Lagoon and the Pugh Marina. In fact, I saw a dozen of them last weekend.

The top picture of the male was taken at the Festival Park Lagoon on 1/6/2013. This guy was just drifting along with a few females when I took this picture from my car on the Causeway. The bottom picture the female was taken at the Pugh Marina on 12/29/2012. Even though it's a little obscured from the falling snow, I like it because a fish can be seen dangling in her beak.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my no snow angels!  How are you?  I’m still not completely over the flu that Mr. OrbsCorbs gave me. What a holiday present that was.  The gift that keeps on giving.  The strangest part of it is the spacey feeling that overcomes you.  As I approached home the other day, I thought to myself that I should compliment the driver on doing such a good job.  Then I remembered that I was the driver.  Oh my.

Our superlative Green Bay Packers brushed aside the Minnesota Vikings in the first round of playoffs last week.   Next, the Packers meet the San Francisco 49ers this Saturday, January 12, at Candlestick Park, 7 p.m.  Onward, Wisconsin’s sports soldiers!

It’s early in the season, but I think I already have a case of the winter blahs.  After the hype and hoopla of the past few months, January’s dreary tediousness sets in. The gray, gray days and long, dark nights can affect us.  To counter this, I recommend as much Madame Zoltar’s® Liquid Sunshine™ as you can drink.  Be careful.  It’s powerful stuff.  It may make you so happy that you become insufferable to friends and strangers.  All sales final. No refunds.

I don’t know if I’ve had too much Liquid Sunshine™, or not enough.  I’m getting that woozy sensation again.  I think I best lie down for awhile.  It’s two steps forward and one step back with this flu.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my blog.  I appreciate your efforts.  I hope you find things enjoyable.

Contact me on any matter, great or small: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

There should be more snow on the ground. Personally, I hate the stuff, but the landscape needs moisture badly.  And, no, peeing outdoors does not help. Take care of yourselves, my dears.  Uranism!   

Open Blog - Wednesday

You, too.

Help me I’m confused…

Rock samples from a proposed iron ore mine in Ashland and Iron counties should be made public so citizens and lawmakers can judge the potential harm that waste rock could have on local waters, Bad River Tribal Chairman Mike Wiggins Jr. said Tuesday.

I don’t understand it, maybe someone can explain it to me.

A mine; they dig up the ground to find the ore….Uhmmm, I guess that means it’s already in the ground.

NOW, they dig it up and put it on top of the ground and it becomes a pollutant.

What am I missing here?

Click here to read the full article for Jsonline.

Nice Quote

See what the guy who wants to ban guns think about his safety.

His is really important, but your's is not.

 

My New MedicAlert Bracelet

You can't be too careful.

Open Blog - Tuesday

Have an explosive day.

Owl Jolson - "I Like To Singa"

Classic cartoon. For a more modern take:

Oooops

Striptease in the Street

Open Blog - Monday

Same to you.

Woodkid - "Iron"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodkid

I like this kind of stuff.

Snowy Owl

I'm going to try something here and see how it goes.... One or twice a week, I'm going post a "profile" on a creature that I have photographed in the past year. My goal is to increase awareness of the wildlife around us.

Many of us are familiar with Hedwig, the Snowy Owl of Harry Potter Fame. Little do many know that Snowy Owls can be found around here. Snowy Owls mainly breed in the northernmost regions of the Arctic tundra of Alaska, Canada and Eurasia. Some will migrate southward during the winter depending on their food supply of mice and lemmings. These highly nomadic birds will often feed other small mammals and birds.

Although they are rare to uncommon in Wisconsin, you find them in open fields,airports and harbors that have the tundra like appearance. Scan the posts, hay bales, rocks, silos that would give them high ground for them to search for prey. They'll often sit there for hours.

This picture was taken at the South Shore Yacht Club in Milwaukee on December 14, 2012. I had been reading reports on her sightings at the club. She has been hanging around in the area for about week. (She still may be there) Tender Heart and I decided to try our luck. When we got there, we had no trouble in finding her. We just followed all the photographers that were there already. One guy had traveled all the way from Madison just to take pictures. I had spent about a half an hour there taking many pics.

Oh yeah, the heavy barring suggests this is a young female.

Useless Information

Did you know:

Semi-trucks travel approximately 1.3 trillion miles on U.S. highways each year hauling around 9 trillion dollars’ worth of products.

Open Blog - Weekend

Keep dancing.

Bedroom BBQ

That is so cool. I want one.

"The Penis Necklace"

Mon Dieu!

Skit That Never Aired-Carol Burnett

It's not hard to guess why

 

>>>>> CAUTION - STRONG LANGUAGE <<<<<

 

 

Four for Fridays

Huh? It's Friday already? Time flies around the holidays don't they? Anyways, welcome back! Here are the first set of questions for the new year...

1) What bill do you most dislike paying?

2) What would you buy from a thrift store?

3) What is your idea of heaven?

4) Who is the "black sheep" of your family?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Rock on, Friday.

Hey Vikings we’re Coming

Blind in one eye, can’t see out of the other

I can watch a movie, the same one, 3 or more times and every time I watch it I see something happening that I miss the first few times around.

I must be in the ozone when I watch movies….

FRANK, DEAN, SAMMY AND JOHNNY!

This is a very rare clip! I Hope You Enjoy This. You will never see their likes again. This show was filmed in June, 1965 at the Kiel Opera House in St Louis. Carson hosted the Tonight Show from the opera house that evening. The Rat Pack was playing Vegas, but visited. This is supposed to be the ONLY time Carson sang in public. Quincy Jones was there, conducting the Count Basie band; he isnvisible in the background.

 

I prayed for an angel . . .

Be careful what you pray for.

How Eve died

 

How to make Mrs. Reagan laugh!

Kiwi Bacon

Yum.

"King of the Zombies"

One of the best "horror" movies that I know of. It's meant seriously, but second banana Mantan Moreland keeps stealing the show. Hilarious. I bought a copy of this on DVD. A friend and I can recite the lines. Now it's available on YouTube.

Open Blog - Thursday

Let's have a parade!

America Love it or Leave...!!!

The Dangers of Flirting

Happy Perihelion Day!

Today was passed perihelion, the point at which Earth is closest to the Sun in its orbit. Earth passed this point at about 5UT (midnight EST so for some in the continental U.S. we technically passed aphelion on January 1st local time). Earth's orbit around the Sun is not a perfect circle so we end up a little bit closer to the Sun (147.5 million kilometers away) in January than we do in July (152.6 million kilometers away).  Of course you all know that the seasons are caused by the fact that the Earth is tilted about 23.5 degrees so the northern hemisphere gets more direct sunlight and longer days in June and July and less direct sunlight and short days in December and January.

Now a lot of people find this hard to believe, but you can prove it to yourself. I went out today and took a picture of the Sun around noon. My original intention was to go out in July and take another picture when the Sun is at aphelion (its farthest distance) in early July and then compare the two pictures and see if I could tell a difference. But like a kid on Christmas, I had a hard time waiting and realized that I took a lot of pics of the Sun on June 5th, 2012 during the transit of Venus! June 5th is about a month before aphelion, but I started wondering if I could tell the difference with the pics I took that day. I had to dig them out and find out!

The picture on the left is the one taken last June as you can tell by that fact that, well, Venus is hanging out there. The picture on the right was taken a little after noon local time today (and you can even check today's spacewether.com site to verify the position of the sunspots).

And I think you can tell the Sun appears ever so slightly larger today than it did back in June (and I don't think I have the pics perfectly aligned...I think the one from today is a pixel or two too low so the difference might be slightly understated).

I took this pics using my trusty Canon Digital Rebel Xti and the Canon EF 70-300mm zoom lens at 300mm of course. I used a Rainbow Symphony solar filter that cost $10 and fits the lens right out of the box. So I guess what I am saying here is, you don't need a lot of fancy equipment to do this so I encourage you to go out and try it for yourself!

Now I still plan on going out on July 5th of this year (or the closest clear day I can) and get the aphelion pic. If I can get it even a month before aphelion, getting it right on the day should make it even a better comparison (and I will try to learn to align the pics better by then too!)

Reprinted with permission rom the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my New Year newbies!  How are you?  Unfortunately, I’m still suffering the effects of flu or curse or something.  I’m going to keep this short.

Our mighty, vaunted Green Bay Packers get to play the Minnesota Vikings again this Saturday at 7 PM in Lambeau Field.   This is a wildcard playoff game.  Maybe with the home field advantage, the Packers can overcome the Vikings.

Here’s picture of the Irregular Football League final standings for this year.  I don’t know how I did it, but my Screaming Psychics came in third. Not bad for someone who doesn’t understand football. 

That’s really all I have this week, my dears.  I feel so unwell.  I hope I recover.

Enjoy the New Year, my friends.  Stay warm and avoid chilly places.

Have a question?  Have an answer?  Contact: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

I love you all. Thank you for reading my blog.  See you again next week.  Ta-ta.  Gobemouche!       

Open Blog - Wednesday

Smile, smile.

"The Risk inside your credit card"

How nice.

Self-Help Book for Toad and me

I hope I'm doing it right.

Open Blog - New Year

May this be the best year ever.

Happy New Years Eve to everyone here at JTI! Thought I'd share a picture of a squad car here that really makes you think about drinking and driving!

Happy New Years Eve everyone.. Thought I'd share a picture of a squad car from here. I think it's a pretty good reminder to don't drink and drive!

A toast to my friends

Just wanted to share a toast 

with my irregular family 

as midnight comes closer. 

Here is to a very happy 

New Year to all, 

 no matter how late you 

stay up tonite 

(I opened at work so I know

I won't be seeing midnight)

Now pass the jam and 

enjoy the end of this year as we know it, 

love you all!

 

Happy New Year!

I would like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year. I pray that 2013 will be a better year for everyone. If anyone is going out tonight please be safe and have a designated driver that will make it safe and fun for everyone.

For me I am staying home with the most wonderful man tonight. Yes Drew and I will be home by ourselves tonight. I have two bottles of wine from his mom and dad, a bottle of champagne and we have a bunch of snack food for us tonight. We also went and rented some movies to sit and watch tonight. That will be are night so we are not out in the cold and we don't have to worry about drunk drivers. I do have to work this morning but then I am off the next three days.

Happy New Year to everyone and have a great 2013!

Open Blog - New Year's Eve

Enjoy yourself, don't drink and drive, and good-bye to 2012, the year the world didn't end.