Halloween

I am sorry I haven't posted to many pictures for Halloween. I do have a lot so I am going to try to get them all in by the end of the weekend. Here are some more these are from Perry St. in Caledonia Wi.

Top 10 Media Thursdays

Open Blog - Thursday

Hello to you, too.

2016 Presidential Election Summed Up In One Picture

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, boys and girls, moms and dads too!  We've finally hit some continuous cool weather.  It's November on the weekend after the next.  It's still just fall, though.  Nothing to get excited about.  Erp.  When the snow flies, I'll be pissed off.  Not the first few light (usually) snowgs, but when it starts to interfere with my life, regularly, then I know: it's winter.  The one season I wish would go to hell is winter.  I know it's needed by nature to sustain the cycle of growth.  Well, like Mr. OrbsCorbs say, "What will be, will be."  Also, "Give it your best shot and then relax."

Here's the current standings in the Irregular Football League:

Oh dear, I'm at the bottom of the list.  We'll have to fix that.

Our honorable Green Bay Packers kicked the asses of the Chicago Bears last week.  This Sunday, October 30, the Packers slam into the Atlanta Falcons in Atlanta, at 3:25 PM.  Bye-bye Birdies.

Mr. OrbsCorbs is recovering nicely from whatever it was that caused him to lose 2-1/2 weeks of his life.  He says he remembers bits and pieces, that's all.  When he came out of it, he says his apartment looked like a bomb had gone off.  I wonder if he wasn't under an evil spell?  It's hard to tell sometimes when he is speaking the truth or not.  But this seems to have rattled his cage good.  He's afraid of growing old.  So, what's the alternative?  He's more afraid of that.

Ms. Tender Heart Bear made sure he was fed and taken care of.  She's so sweet.  She's one of Mr. OrbsCorbs' angels.

Actually, we're all angels.  We just don't know it yet.  Or, some of us may be demons, which would explain a lot.  The same old fight for millennia: good vs. evil.  I grow tired of it.

Thank you all for stopping by to read my blog today.  I love all of my readers, Irregular or not.  We just may not know it.  I appreciate and thank God for you.

Have a notion, need a potion?  Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy the cool weather.  Soon we'll be stuck inside for most of the time.  Arrgh.  I can't take it.  

Open Blog - Wednesday

Have a great day.

"Prick or Treat"

From Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 3 hours ago

 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it’s been one heck of a couple weeks around the Kumbalek neck of woods, where every day seems to be Halloween, I kid you not.

Anyways, I got to tell you’s that I’ve run clean out of time to pony up a big-time essay this week, one that I’m sure would’ve been graciously particulate about how the world would be 10-times a better place if there were fewer focking idiots inhabiting said world. (See: Republican candidatial slate for elective office.)

Had an encouraging chat with my campaign manager Little Jimmy Iodine the other day. Here’s a little excerpt:

“I tell you Artie, if Hillary gets elected it’ll actually be a nice treat for you instead of that Trump prick. With Big Bill as her First-what-the-fock, you can use all the old Clinton jokes again and not have to think up anything new, ain’a? And don’t forget to use my favorite one.”

“Which one’s that, Jimmy?”

“OK, what’s the first thing Bill says to Hillary after sex?” 

“Jeez Jimmy, I forget.” 

“‘I’ll be home in twenty minutes.’ Ba-ding!”

And speaking of Halloween, reflection is my game today, remembrance of All Hallow’s Day past. Like the time just the other year when my buddy Little Jimmy Iodine was down with some kind of flu that had been making the rounds. Remember?

So I had to go over by his place and help him prepare the healthily free-farm green rain-barrel drenched treats he planned to offer the little trick-or-treater beggars come by to ring his bell with their costumes—mashed potatoes with organic gravy, and scrambled eggs with the diced holistic raw onion stuck in it. I was able to help Jimmy ’cause the kids don’t come by me for the Halloween ever since I put out the cubed head cheese and pickled chicken hearts for them the other year, god bless; they keep their distance from my door now.

Yeah yeah, Jimmy kept feeling worse and worse so I stuck around to pass out the goods to the little costumed ding-dongers. There was this one kid come by made up like the movie Rocky, with the boxing gloves and satin shorts. Kid even had colored in a black eye; at least, I think he colored it in. So I scoop a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his bag, and wouldn’t you know, short time later he’s back at the door. I said, “What the fock, weren’t you the same Rocky who was just here?” Kid says, “You bet, but now I’m Rocky II plus I'll be back three more times tonight, and if you don’t pony up something better than goddamn mashed potatoes, I’m going to kick your ass around the block and back, mister.”

Tough kids, these days. 

Then there was this other little guy come by the door who had one of those what-you-call speech predicaments. So I answer the door and he says, “Bick or beet.” So I says, “And what are you supposed to be for Halloween?” He says, “A birate.” I says, “Isn’t that sweet. A ‘birate.’ And where are your buccaneers?” And this kid says, “On the side of my buckin’ head, asshole.”

So, I got to run, to somewheres. But I ought to leave you with a little story appropriate to this festive time of year. You may have heard it before but now you’ll hear it again, so what the fock—and given the ways of the world for crying out loud, this could be the last time from me. You never know. So read up, all you people:

So this guy’s driving home late one night and starts feeling a little frisky. He’s passing by a pumpkin patch and thinks, “You know, the interior of a pumpkin is not altogether unlike a certain part of the female anatomy—in a sensual sense, that is. And what the fock, there’s no one around for miles.” So he slams on the brakes, jumps the fence, picks the juiciest-looking pumpkin he sees, carves an anatomically correct aperture, drops his drawers and commences to slake his burning desires. Reaching the heights of passion, he fails to notice the police car pulling over to the side of the road.

Cop walks over, shines a flashlight on the guy and says, “Hey buddy, did you know you were porking a pumpkin?” 

The guy looks at the cop, then down at the pumpkin between his hands and says, “Good lord, officer! Is it midnight already!?!”

Ba-ding! ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek you betcha, and I told you so.

Read more: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-28639-prick-or-treat.html 

Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

"2015 New evidence that Paul McCartney died in 1966 in a car wreck and was replaced by Bill Shepherd"

Open Blog - Tuesday

For some, yes; but for others, not so good.  If you want a good life, keep that kite flying.

Lifecycle of Bureaucracy

Submitted by TSE:

Party on, lying John!

At the local Walmart

I don't know the make or model.  Any guesses?  I'm guessing a Plymouth, late 30's or early 40's.

Open Blog - Monday

I'm scared.

Open Blog - Weekend

I think so, Joe.

Four for Fridays!

1) When was the last time you have gone driving around to look at Halloween decorations?

2) What was your favorite Halloween costume you remember wearing?

3) Do you ever remember it being cold outside going trick or treating when you were younger?

4) When you were younger when was the last time you remember going trick or treating with your friends?

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Open Blog - Friday

I love Judy Jetson.

Halloween

I have been out taking Halloween pictures along with the Fall pictures. There really is not a lot of Halloween decorations up this year. Here are some of the pictures I have taken.

                                         This picture was taken on 59th Dr in Union Grove Wi.

                                      This picture was taken on Nicholson Rd in Caledonia Wi.

                                      This picture was taken on Nicholson Rd in Caledonia Wi.

Top 10 Media Thursdays

Open Blog - Thursday

Mmm, White Castle...

Fall Colors!

I am sorry I have not been posting any Fall Colors it has been a real busy couple of weeks for me. I do have some pictures to share with everyone I hope you enjoy them. Madame Z here are some picture for you to enjoy.

       This picture was taken at Angie's Pond in Racine Wi. This is the little island in the middle of the pond.

    This picture was taken at Angie's Pond in Racine Wi. This was taken down the street from the pond.

                                          This picture was taken at Shoop Park in Racine Wi.

                                        This picture was taken on Nicholson Rd Caledonia Wi.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sweets and sours!  How are you?  I'm sorry this blog is so late - I have a hard life sometimes.  At least the weather hasn't been too hard.  I love the cooler nights for sleeping.  However, I loathe what they portend: winter.  Ugh!  I like seeing the colors of fall, but I hate the loss of leaves from the trees.  Everything looks naked.  At least I have my men to rake up the leaves and shovel the snow.  Actually, I think Junior just blows the leaves onto others' property.  We're not too popular around here.

Tonight, the mighty Green Bay Packers take on the Chicago Bears at Lambeau Field.  I hate to say it, but I wouldn't be surprised if they lose.  Aaron  Rodgers may not be the bargain he first appeared to be.

Here's the current standings in the Irregular Football League:

      
Tender Heart Bear's The Mighty Bears dominate.  Bullies.

I had some trouble with a prescription over the past 2-1/2 weeks.  You should have seen me: I couldn't walk without falling over, and I wasn't making sense, even to me.  It kept getting worse and worse until I figured out what was going on.  A drug I used to take three times a day, I now take only once a day, at bedtime.  It knocks me flat on my ass.  Why the sudden change in my reaction to a drug I'd been taking for over two years?  Who knows?  Certainly not the MDs.  My doctor didn't seem to think that much about it, but it bothers me.  Of course, this is my body, so it bothers me.  I might cook up something myself for the MDs.  When they start asking questions, I'll just say, "Your internal clock has been reset."  That's how one doctor responded to my questions abbout myself.  7 years of medical school for that: "your clock's been reset."  Sheesh!

Ahh, all of society continues to degenerate.  This is not the world I was born into.  Mine wasn;t filled with liars, criminals, and rats.  One of my few bright spots is this: Dear Madame Zoltar.  Thank you so much for reading my blog.  I love you and all the other visitors to my blog.  Thank you.  I love you.

Want to know what's going on before everyone else does?  Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Thanks again for reading my truncated post.  Have fun out there while you still can.  Soon it'll be all white.  Ugn, again.

Open Blog - Wednesday

Just don't take it too low.

"Dungslinger"

From Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek

 

 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, lately I’ve been hearing much from the orange circus peanut otherwise known as the Republican nominee for president of the United States that the election coming up soon like a bad burrito will be rigged. According to the oranguTrump, the only way he loses is if the Democrats, the media and foreign elites put the fix in—that this election is a shell game played with no focking ball, what the fock.

And I say you got to be jerking my beefaroni. I’ll tell you what a rigged election would look like: You wake up Wednesday, Nov. 9 and find out that America’s new president is Art Kumbalek, and somehow he’s also your vice president, to boot.

Now, a surprise electoral result like that would surely waft a whiff of riggedness your way, ain’a? What would not waft-a-whiff is if on Wednesday, Nov. 9 you learned that a bloviating perverted piece of nonsensical nincompoop failed to win a single electoral vote from a single state in the Union because America is great, what the fock.

And before I forget, let me mention that if I’m on anybody’s Christmas list, besides a check in a nice card for $10 grand, I wouldn’t mind getting the new Brett Favre biography, Gunslinger: The Remarkable, Improbable, Iconic Life of Brett Favre by some New York Times guy, no sir. Jeez louise, who’d really want a biography about them? The backbone of the biography industry is new dirt. No new dirt, no new biography. Instead, you got the old biography that nobody’d buy ’cause it’s already been written and the people already read it. What a racket.

I remember some years ago reading about a new Joe DiMaggio biography that was out and the new dirt they stuffed into the baggage the Yankee Clipper was hauling—Mob cronies, slapping Marilyn around and then stalking her after their front-page marriage was yesterday’s news—the kind of dirt where I had to say, “Hey, is this Joltin’ Joe or Revoltin’ Joe I’m reading about here.”

Where will these dirt diggers stop? For crying out loud, I even heard rumor of a new one on Mother Teresa due to come out that includes some kind of wild shenanigans involving Mazola Oil, Palm Springs, two sets of books and Warren Beatty. The Mother You Never Knew. Available soon.

Hold on, I got a phone call here and I can see it’s my campaign manager Little Jimmy Iodine. Got to take it.

“Artie, I just got the latest numbers from the trolling poll, and guess what?”

“OK, what?”

“You don’t have any!”

“Any ‘what’?”

“Numbers. Two weeks and change before the election and you’re pulling no numbers. ”

“No numbers. That’s bad and that ain’t good, ain’a?”

“Not entirely. When you got no numbers, you got no numbers to lose. When you’re this close to the election, you don’t want to start losing numbers ’cause tactically that can be a nutshell you just can’t peel, I kid you not. So at least we’re in good shape that way.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Off hand, Artie, my take is nobody knows you’re a candidate and if they do, they sure as hell couldn’t care less. Next time before you run for something, put out a highfalutin biography about your life so people think they already know you. That’s what all those dipsticks do. Nobody ever reads them and they all could have the same title—Profiles in Bullshit too Boring to Read but Thanks for Buying It Anyways, Sucker—but having one of these paperweights out in the stores looks good. See Artie, people don’t want to vote for just any jackass. They’d rather vote for a jackass they think they know than some jackass off the street. And they also don’t much care to vote for poor people, especially poor people with any kind of police record. So now you really got your work cut out for you, and how the heck in 21 days you are going to get a life, then write a book about it when you can hardly fill that little article you write in the hippie newspaper, plus win the lottery for campaign finances AND get a pardon from the governor beats me.”

“So what should I do, Jimmy?”

“Issues. Whenever a candidate’s got absolutely nothing going for him, he sells himself on the issues. Losers always pitch the issues big time and nothing but. So Artie, if the shoe fits, wear it. Offer the issues, cheap. Got to go. ‘Simpsons’ are on.”

What the fock. I don’t know if you overheard but it sounds like my reach for the presidency could use a boost but good. So I got to go and make a campaign appearance. I’m thinking the Uptowner tavern/charm school, where I can be issued a tubful of bourbon Manhattan. Come along if you’d like, but you buy the first round ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

Read more: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-28615-dungslinger.html

Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

 

Poll: Clinton or Trump or Third Party?

Open Blog - Tuesday

Have a good one, gang!

Open Blog - Monday

I belong to the gone-gotten.

Open Blog- Weekend

Four for Fridays!

Good morning everyone I just can not believe it is Friday already. Here are your questions.

1) Have you ever had family pictures taken?

2) When was the last time you remember having family pictures taken?

3) For the family pictures did you have to wear nice clothes?

4) When you had family pictures taken what time of the year was it?

I hope everyone enjoys their day!

Open Blog- Friday

Open Blog- Thursday

Open Blog- Wednesday

"Styx and Stones"

From Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek Oct. 11, 2016

 

 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, the other week I was wont to flip the page of my kitchen-wall calendar (Strumpets of the South Seas) ’cause that’s the kind of guy I strive to be—organized, punctual, cocksure of handy, perhaps useful, information like which is the correct goddamn month of the year currently underfoot.

I was informed that we had now entered the bittersweet month of Foctober. I took a quick perusal of the dates to remind myself whether there were any big-time holidays where everybody got the day off so’s they could visit relatives and drink their beer all day long. The answer was “No, sir.” But I did discover that Columbus Day fell on a Monday, Oct. 10, this year, and my head began to spin.

WHAT THE FOCK? Oct. 10? Any schoolboy worth his old-school salt knows that Columbus Day is supposed to be Oct. 12. Cripes, I’m sure that date would even be in the Bible if that good book had had the foresight to cover stuff that happened at least through the year 1492. I don’t know how the heck anyone can get such a simple, straight fact wrong unless he or she belonged to the Republican Party, what the fock.

Focktober 10? When the hell did Columbus Day start getting short-shrift shifted around like the birthdays of Washington, Lincoln? Hey, without Christopher Columbus, there never would’ve been presidents Washington and Lincoln. In case you forgot, Cristoforo Colombo whilst sailing the ocean blue discovered the New World; although, personally, I wish he’d rather discovered a cure for the common cold.

Yeah, the New World. Sounds like one of those fancy theme parks, ain’a? And what a roller coaster—but it only goes down, down and down, so I hear.

I’ll tell you, those Italians still go big-time for Columbus in a big way. But in truth, they ought to be kicking themselves on account of way-back-when they wouldn’t cough up squat to finance his sea cruise. If they had, I’ll bet you a buck two-eighty things’d be different. South of the border there, they’d be speaking Italian and eating ravioli instead of speaking Spanish and eating those fragile tacos where after you take one bite, you’re picking the rest of your focking meal out of your lap, gracias for nothing.

On the other hand, nowadays with all the Indians in charge of the organized gambling, it’s just as if the Italians had moved in and set up shop first anyways, so what the fock.

But speaking of discovery, as I’ve said in the past, and now here again, it’s no secret that I secretly desire to be known in the future as “the discoverer of all discoverers”—to make a discovery of such magnitude that it would make all the other discoverers in the history books look like a bunch of focking pikers. And I’ll tell you, what that would be is to discover what truly lies on the other side of this life—like after you got hit by a goddamn bus—and then return to fill in the rest of us, no bullshit accepted.

And I’d still like to be that guy—the first stiff to re-ford the river Styx, hit the talk-show circuit and give you the lowdown from six-feet-under. Personally, I find it very difficult to believe it’s not been done yet. You’d think by now some enterprising knob would’ve found a way. I mean, what’s the focking problem? The afterlife must have one hell of a security system that even Hou-focking-dini can’t get out of, ain’a?

Yeah, the afterlife, lot to discover about that, you bet. And being the man of science that I am, I will only accept empirical evidence concerning what happens after you’re deader than a doornail from somebody who’s been gravely dead, not just pretending—yeah, I’m talking about some guy gone for at least a couple, three months from whom you get a call in the middle of dinner, or just shows up at your door some night and says, “Hey, buddy, how ya doing? Do I have news for you!”

But I guess we go to discovery with the discoverers we have. And I enjoyed Columbus Day, as I always do. No bills in the mail ’cause there’s no goddamn mail. And I recalled fourth-grade October recess from so long ago, when us wags fresh off our history chapter on Columbus would come up with our own names for his boats—the Hyena, the Pinhead and Santa’s Diarrhea. We used to come up with some pretty good shit back then, I kid you not.

“Used to”: the definition of age, any age. One day you think you’re the toast of the town, but then it could be the next day, the next day, the next month or maybe 524 years in the future, it is discovered you are junk. What a world, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.

Read more: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-28583-styx-and-stones.html

Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

Fall Colors!

Hello everyone I hope all of you are going good. I have been out and trying to get Fall Colors to share with all of you but it seems that the leaves are drying out and just falling off the trees before I can get the pictures. This happened last year too. I do have some pictures to share with you and I am going to try to get more.

This picture was taken at Navarino Wildlife Refuge in Navarino Wi. you will see a Great Egret in the picture.

                                          This picture was taken at Shoop Park in Racine Wi.

                                      This picture was taken on Nicholson Rd. in Caledonia Wi.

                       This picture was taken at Richard Bong State Recreational Area in Brighton Wi.

Open Blog- Tuesday

Open Blog- Monday

Open Blog - Weekend

It seems that the Sheriff is not feeling good this past week so I thought that I would post the open blog for the weekend. We hope that the Sheriff will be feeling better very soon. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Four for Fridays!

Good morning everyone I hope you are having a good week. It just seems like the weeks keep going faster and faster. Here are your questions.

1) Do you come down with the flu during the winter?

2) Have you had your car winterized yet?

3) Are you ready for the long cold winter?

4) Do you try to stay inside more during the winter time?

I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Birds!

Hello everyone I am so sorry I have not posted anything in awhile. We were up north for a week my son got married and then we watched the grandkids while they went on their honeymoon. Everything was great and we had a great time. Here are some pictures I would love to share with everyone.

This is a Yellow Belly Sapsucker this picture was taken at my son's house and our grandson check to see if it was on the tree everyday. When he would see the bird he would have to tell grandpa the bird is on the tree.

                      This is a Trumpeter Swan this picture was taken a Navarino in Shawano Wi.

                      This is a Peregrine Falcon this picture was taken at Myers Park in Racine Wi.

                     This is a Peregrine Falcon this picture was taken at Myers Park in Racine Wi.
                   

                   This is a American Wigeon this picture was taken at Myers Park in Racine Wi. 

I hope everyone enjoys the pictures and there are more to come. I am also going to be going out getting more fall pictures and Halloween pictures to share with everyone.