Saturday, December 10, 2016

"Juliana Hatfield - 'Make It Home'"



Make It Home
( My So Called Life Soundtrack )

Hmm..mmm..mmm...
Mmm..mmm...
Mmm..mmm...
Mmm.....
Deepening night, think on a time
All was bright
Here in this dark place, I see in your face
All is not right
Make it, make your way home
Better than the last
Break it, break the alone
Take a second chance
Open a window, let in the snow
Cold is all I know
Go to the fire, stir it around
There's a warmer place for you to go
So, make it, make your way home
Better than you have
Break it, break the alone
Leave it in the past
Oh, look and you'll find it
Someone wants to love you
Look and you'll find it
Someone wants to love you
Wake it, wake your dream
One forgotten me
Sleepin' deep inside o' you Heavenly peace

Written by Juliana Hatfield • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group

Open Blog - Weekend


A million dollars.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Four for Fridays!

Good morning everyone I hope you are staying nice and warm inside. I was just out taking Drew to work and it is really cold outside.Here are your questions.

1) Are you ready for the temperature to drop down into the teens next week?

2) How are you doing with the snow so far?

3) Are you ready to hibernate for the winter?

4) When you do go out in the winter how many layers of clothes do you end up putting on?

Have a great weekend and stay warm.

Open Blog - Friday

It's Pearl Harbor Day:

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

"NASA live stream - Earth From Space LIVE Feed | Incredible ISS live stream of Earth from space"



Very soothing.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my elves!  How are you?  What did you think of the snow we had on Monday?  It snowed all day, but never came down too hard.  By Tuesday, most of it was gone.  That was a good practice run for winter driving.  Please drive carefully in the snow and slush.  And the ice soon to come.  I try very hard to avoid road ragers and other goofs who insist upon driving the speed limit (or higher) no matter how bad conditions are.  We've all seen the tragic results of driving too fast in winter conditions.  What is it with these people?  Do they think that they're invulnerable?

I lost control on the ice once while making a turn.  I hit the curb and the car ended up with a front wheel buckled in.  I don't remember what it cost, but it took about a week to repair it.  I was doing well and had good insurance.  Everything was covered, even a rental car to drive until my car was repaired.  I ended up with a Ford Focus.  Puh-leez!  No wonder I hate cars today.  Just wait.  We're on the verge of driverless cars being loosened upon the populace.  I hope I've stopped driving by then.  And don't get me going about roundabouts!  I hate those things.

The Irregular Football League is already in its playoffs:


I'm playing against Mr. OrbsCorbs.  We'll see who advances and who stays behind.

As for the Green Bay Packers,  they won one this Sunday past, taming the Houston Texans.  This coming Sunday, the Packers face the Seattle Seahawks at 3:25 pm in Seattle.  Good luck, our Road Warriors.  Just knock them down, one at a time.  Knock them down.

From The Journal Times.com: "Saturday free parking OK'd for Downtown, Uptown and West Racine." http://journaltimes.com/news/local/saturday-free-parking-ok-d-for-downtown-uptown-and-west/article_7c172eb8-64ad-5f5c-a82c-60508c7cfe39.html Some of the merchants say this will be abused by residents of the areas and/or employees.  Another great idea not thoroughly thought through.  The whole parking meter mess should be removed.  It's just another way to tax you for a road you've already paid for.  Given the state of city finances, I don't think we'll see parking meters coming down soon.  Mr. Mayor Lying John Dickert needs every cent he can scrape up.

Also  from The Journal Times.com: "Family rattled after dog killed during warrant execution" http://journaltimes.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/family-rattled-after-dog-killed-during-warrant-execution/article_87f58cda-064a-5c9e-9a88-b3cc1be023e5.html  I know we shouldn't rush to judgement, but if this played out the way the story tells it, they should sue the snot out of the police and the city.  My God.  It reads like a horror story.  Which frickin' judge authorized the warrant?  Racine just keeps crapping its pants.

Well, thank you dears for reading my blog today.  The more, the merrier.  I love my readers and they love me.  If only we could see each other in person.

Thanks again for reading.  Let me know what you think: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Button up, my babies, it's getting cold outside.  Be careful, be careful, be careful.  I love you all and I don't want to see anyone hurt. Take your time.  That's the way I go.


__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday


I feel like that both before and after coffee.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Ball point pens

Submitted by legal stranger:

When NASA started sending astronauts into space they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, Congress approved a program and NASA scientists spent a decade and over $165 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.  

The Russians used a pencil... 
Your taxes are due again in April.

Open Blog - Tuesday


Let's make it a good one.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Friday, December 2, 2016

Four for Fridays!

Good morning everyone it is a cold morning outside. I hope if you are going out today that you bundle up and stay warm. Here are your questions for today.

1) Have you started your Christmas shopping?

2) Have started or are you done with decorating your house?

3) Do you still send out Christmas cards?

4) Do you see family and friends over the Holiday?

Have a great weekend.

Open Blog - Friday


Hot damn!

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my lovely ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between!  How are you?  I'm already done with the holidays, and the biggest one is yet to come.  Perhaps Señor Zanza will see fit to finance a holiday meal on Christmas.  If not, then I'm making some totally unrelated foods.  I'll call it my melting pot meal.  If you don't like it, move on.  There will be millions of turkeys being cooked.  And millions of hams.  Hmm.  Maybe I'll make roast beef for Christmas...

We've just had a blast of pleasant weather, but "they" say a temperature drop starts tonight.  We should see more rain and even some snow in the next couple of weeks.  "They" get paid, whether right or wrong.  I wish I had a job like that, where you get paid even if you're batting below 500.   Plus all the perquisites.  However, it's wrong to envy.  I started in childhood and never really stopped.  I've prayed over this thousands of time.  Still no results.

Here's the latest standings in the Irregular Football League:


How did I end up in 2nd to last place?  What kind of witchery is this?  I'll have a talk with my team and suggest that they try harder.  If not, heads will roll, literally.

Hurray!  The Green Bay Packers won one.  They defeated he Philadelphia Eagles, but they're still 5-6.  Beat the Houston Texans this Sunday, December 4, at noon, and their record will be tied.  You can do it, guys!  There's only five games left in the regular season.  Head for victory.  Blow by the Texans.  Onward, forward, and mush!  Show them the back of your hands and the heel of your boots.  Give 'em hell!

The holiday season has already taxed me out.  It wouldn't be bad if everyone believed in the Christmas Spirit.  But most people are in a rush to do holiday shopping, decorating, cooking, etc.  The only time I see the Christmas Spirit is when a family gathers for the holiday meal.  Otherwise, most of us are far too busy to even think of the Christmas Spirit.  We're a nation of liars, playing all that music and singing/talking about tradition and love when our only intention is to get through the mess as soon as possible.  That's the difference between Christmas and Xmas.  I hope you enjoy the season whatever your intentions are.  

It appears that Mr. President-Elect Donald Trump has toned down his rhetoric and is acting much more responsibly than he did during the presidential campaign.  I don't know if that was his plan all along: appeal to the baser instincts of the electorate to get elected, but then doing the job much more responsibly.  I hope so.  Our nation needs to heal.  Otherwise, I fear for our future.

Locally, Mr. Mayor Lying John continues to waste precious tax dollars on pie-in-the-sky real estate schemes.  He has lent out millions of our dollars to his cronies with nothing to show for it.  Taxpayers are repeatedly raped in Racine.  Until we stand up to the corruption in city government, it will just continue.  So far, it appears that nothing will be done about it.  Mr. Mayor Lying John will never be brought to justice.  It's so depressing.

Don't let my bad mood infect you.  Enjoy the holidays.  Why?  Because I love you.  I love all of my readers and wish you the best for the holidays. 

Looking for the truth? Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

During the holiday rush, don't forget to take time out for you.  Sit down with a cup of coffee and unwind.  Remember, you're the only one of you, so handle with care.  I love you all.

__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday


And I say Good Stuff!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

"Browsing the Ba-Ding! Boutique"

From Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 2 hours ago

 
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, it’s now December and once again time to fling the doors open to Art’s Ba-ding! Boutique for those of you’s struck dumb by your Christmas shopping monetary obligations.
ABB is the shop that answers this question: Why not give everyone on your goddamn list the gift of laughter ’cause it’s a gift that won’t cost you a focking dime? You can then use those savings on a big ol’ bottle of holiday cheer all for yourself and drown your seasonal depression like a bag of cats over the bridge.

What follows are a couple, three items that may interest you. Feel free to stroll around the page and choose whatever catches your eye.

[holiday icon]

Three ministers and their wives, Presbyterian, Southern Baptist and Methodist, are on a cruise. They all come down with severe food poisoning and croak. The next thing they know, they’re standing before St. Peter at the gates.

First in line is the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shakes his head and says, “Sorry, can’t let you in. Yes, you were moral and upright, but you loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.” St. Peter waves his hand, and bingo! Down the chute to Hell they go.

Second is the Southern Baptist couple. St. Peter says, “Sad to say, can’t let you in either. Sure, you abstained from liquor, dancing and cards, but you loved food too much. You loved food so much, you even married a woman named Candy!” St. Pete waves again, and boom! Down the chute go the Southern Baptists.

The Methodist turns to his wife and whispers nervously, “Doesn’t look too good, ain’a Fanny?” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

This drunk at a nice holiday party asks the host, “Do you have green toilet paper that says ‘fock you’”? The host says, “‘Green toilet paper that says ‘fock you’? No, we don’t have that.” Drunk says, “Oh, sorry. Guess I must’ve wiped my ass with your parrot. Never mind.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

So this guy wakes up from surgery for a prostate this-or-that. Doctor enters the room to give the guy the report. Doctor says, “Well sir, I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news. The good news is that we were able to save your private parts.” Guy says, “That’s a relief, I tell you. So what’s the bad news?” Doctor says, “They’re under your pillow.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

A guy walks into a tavern and there’s a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy just stares at the horse, so the horse says, “Hey buddy, what’s the problem? You never seen a horse serving drinks before?” The guy replies, “No, it’s not that...it’s just that I never thought the parrot would sell this place.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

So this kid walks into his new classroom, and the teacher says, “Hello young man, and what is your name?” And the kid says, “Dickie Fockhower.” The teacher told him that she doesn’t allow that kind of language in her classroom. Dickie tells her again that his last name is really “Fockhower,” and that she can go ask his little brother in kindergarten to prove it. So the teacher tells her class to read chapter 4 while she goes to find Dickie’s little brother. She walks into a kindergarten class where the teacher had stepped out for a moment, and asks, “Hello, class. Is there a Fockhower in here?” One of the kids yells out, “Heck no! There’s not even a cookie break!” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

Hey! Over here in the Kids Section: Guy goes to the dentist. Dentist checks the guy’s mouth and says, “These are the worst teeth I’ve ever seen. Do you ever floss?” Guy says, “Flossing’s a big pain in the butt.” Dentist says, “Then obviously you’re doing it wrong.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

In Jerusalem, a TV journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had gone to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to the Wailing Wall to investigate and there he was. She watched him pray and when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

“I’m Rebecca Smith from FOCKS News. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?”

“Sixty years, I kid you not.”

“Sixty years. Incredible. And what is it you pray for?”

“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop. I pray that our children grow up in safety and friendship.”

“And how do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”

“Like I’m talking to a focking wall.” Ba-ding!

[holiday icon]

Okey-dokey, time to close up shop. Hope you found something you liked, you cheap bastards, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.


Read more:  http://shepherdexpress.com/article-28833-browsing-the-ba-ding_-boutique.html

Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

Open Blog - Tuesday


What a cutie. I agree: Have a great day!

Friday, November 25, 2016

Four for Fridays!

I hope everyone has enjoyed their Thanksgiving and did not eat to much turkey. I am trying to recuperate from cooking dinner yesterday. Here are your questions for today

1) How was your Thanksgiving?

2) Did you get to spend Thanksgiving with family and friends?

3) How far did you have to drive to spend Thanksgiving with family and friends?

4) Are you going to do the Black Friday shopping?

I hope everyone has a great weekend 

Open Blog - Black Friday


Aren't you getting up at 4 AM to stand in a freezing line outside of a store?

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my dear friends and enemies!  How are you?  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. How did we get here so fast?  Last week we had temperatures in the 60's.  This week it's been in the 30's.  I guess it really doesn't matter.  The important thing is getting together with family and friends for the Thanksgiving feast.  Are you the one doing the cooking this year, or does someone else have it?  It can be very stressful to coordinate a big meal.  Even a small one tests my patience.

What's really nice is that Señor Zanza provides the meal every year.  I don't know where he gets it, but it's delicious.  Señor Zanza turns out to have strange friends in strange places.  I don't question him, and he doesn't volunteer any information.  Señor Zanza says he wants to show his appreciation for his adopted homeland by providing the Thanksgiving meal.  That's fine by me.

Years ago, I was making the meal.  The turkey had one of those pop-up temperature gauges.  When it pops up, the turkey is done.  I put the turkey in the oven.  Twenty minutes later, the plastic gauge popped up.  Hmmm.

Here's the standings from the Irregular Football League:


Omg, I'm in last place.  If my team doesn't do better, I'm turning all of them into frogs.

Frogs is what the Packers have become.  Their spinning free fall continues with a loss to  the Washington Redskins.  Next, they face the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday, November 28, 7:30 pm, in Philadelphia.  Rah, Rah, Rah, Sis, Boom, Bah!  May the Packers find the help they need...

And may our nation find the help that it needs.  The election results so stunned me that I couldn't talk for three days.  I was expecting our first woman president.  Instead, we got Foghorn Leghorn.  He's never held any office, but he's the president-elect of the USA.  It goes to show you that hard work, perseverance, and a few billion dollars can buy you the presidency of the USA.

Uh, Electoral College, time for you to go.  It's just stupid to have the popular vote receiver not become the president.  Everyone goes crazy for months, campaigning and lying their way back and forth across the country.  There's the big hoopla of each parties' convention.  Then, finally, the popular vote.  Yes, she has the most votes, but the Electoral College decides that Dumbo will lead us.  WTF?  Why go through all that torturous campaigning when the Electoral College has the final say so?  What a load of crap.  It kinda discourages you from voting.  Why vote when the Electoral College decides who will be the next president?

On the local scene, things are as crazy as ever.  Now their talking about a new rehab of a building on Marquette Street.  More low income apartments.  Who wants to pay market rate for an apartment when someone with a low income can obtain the same apartment for a much lower rate?  And, of course, we still have the arena to deal with and Machinery Row.  There's so much federal money being slung around that nobody can track it.  "Just trust us," the current collections of thieves tells us.

Well, with all that negativity, I still wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.  Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my blog.  I love readers and visitors.  The more, the merrier.

When will we get our first real snowstorm?  Ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

It's difficult at times ti deal with the cold and early darkness and gray skies.  If you're really bummed out, contact me and we'll party till the cows come home.  Of course, I don't have any cows, so it could be a long wait.  Thanks, again, for stopping by.  Don't get crushed in a Black Friday shopping throng.  I love you all!

__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order. 

Open Blog - Wednesday


Word Up Everyday.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Four for Fridays!

Sorry I am late with posting this I had to go to Whitewater this morning to get my daughter. Tomorrow we are going up north for the day to celebrate my mom's 80th birthday. I hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather we are having before the cold snap tomorrow.

1) Are you ready for the naughty S word?

2) What have you been doing since we have had this really nice weather?

3) When was the first time you seen any Christmas items out this year?

4) Can you believe it is only a month and a half way for Christmas?

I hope everyone gets out and enjoys the day.

Open Blog - Friday


"And we'll have fun fun fun now that daddy took the T-Bird away"

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Happy Birthdaay Charlie!


Happy 11th Birthday to my best buddy. I love you.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my cream and coffee.  You are all the sugar I need.  My your lives be filled with ease.  And ego.  And idiocy.  It looks like temperatures take a dive on Friday and don't rebound for the foreseeable future.

Eek.  Winter is on the way.  Not a lot we can do about it, especially since Mother Nature's implosion.  Now is the time to grin and bear it.  Kick the old snow thrower awake, and get the little one going, too.  Don't forget the small power equipment, either.

Don't forget to get you vehicle winter ready.  Of course the vast majority of you will ignore this advice and instead your vehicles won't start or get into accidents.  It's natural selection.  Let the games begin!

The Irregular Football League's standings:

  

O my, the only one I'm above is Mr. OrbsCorbs,  which isn't saying much.  Nyuk-nyuk..

Our once omnipotent Green Bay Packers are rolling into a spin of losses.  All of the rest of the games on their roster are away games.  Damn.  People are beginning to lose faith.  Once that happens, nothing can stop their tail spin.  They're taking on the Washington Redskins this Sunday night.  Good luck, valiant warriors.

Happy Birthday, Charlie.  Take it easy on the special catnip that I gave you.  It's real creeper stuff.  One minute you're watching TV; the next minute, the TV is watching you.   

I read in the Journal Times online about the mayor's sputtering about Machinery Row and the new arena/hotel.  No one believes in him anymore.  Aw, poor mayor.  Your lies don't gain much  traction anymore.  You should regularly check Racine Community Media for YouTube videos of him lying through his teeth repeatedly, and then getting a little testy when an attorney tries to pressure him on a point involving his brother, Peter.  The most common thing you hear Dickert say is "I don't know."

It's funny how he says this repeatedly while giving a deposition, but he is a cocksure conman on the outside.  Won't someone please knock him on his ass?  Won't someone become the spokesperson  for the poor and the alienated?  Mr. Dickert seems to almost go out of his way to harass the most vulnerable in our community.  We need a white knight to save us and protect us from Dickert.  Won't someone please step up to the plate?

Please?

I love all of the JT Irregulars, past and present.  Your reading of my blogs seems to energize me.  I love it.  Keep it up, please.

Read, read, read: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Please remember that I'll always love you.  Always.

As for donations, I didn't get a cent from you pikers.

" Here's the link I spoke off earlier.  I hope you can afford some sort of donation:
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my address so you can send a check or money order." 

Open Blog - Wednesday


Sign language?

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

"Heil to the Grief"

From Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek 6 hours ago


I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here I sit with a hard case of the heebie-jeebies wondering how soon after the inauguration of President Orange Circus Peanut will he shut down newspapers like the Shepherd and send the former employees off to enjoy a stint at some kind of re-education camp that will definitely not resemble a resort hotel except for those that feature canvas tents and open latrines. On the bright side, upon graduation I suppose I might be able to pick up some work helping to build that goddamn wall what the fock.

So, time for me to get my booze heels to be wandering over up by the Uptowner tavern/charm school and meet up with my campaign brain trust to figure out how my own candidacy tanked so spectacularly badly. Come along if you like, but you buy the first round. Let’s get going.

Little Jimmy Iodine: Anybody seen Artie lately?

Julius: Maybe Trump had him locked up already.

Ray: There you go. I just knew that a Trump presidency couldn’t be all bad.

Herbie: Take a gander at who he might stuff into his cabinet and it looks like those people did take back their country—too bad that country is Germany, 1938.

Emil: I don’t even want to go outdoors these days. As an old white guy, I know people look at me and think, “Bet that focker voted for Trump.” This guilt-by-association sucks.

Ernie: How the hell did this happen? Trump as leader of the free world is like tossing the car keys to your 8-year-old and telling him to run down to the 7-Eleven and pick up a pack of smokes for you.

Julius: A recent survey said 42% of the American public does not believe in evolutionary biology. There’s a piece of the focking puzzle for you, right there.

Herbie: Voter suppression, or voter elimination? Trump was right, the election was rigged. “Spasibo,” Vladimir Putin.

Ray: Trump makes Bill Clinton look like an altar boy. How many wives has this guy boffed? If I was a lady intern at the new White House, I’d sure as hell put “shop for chastity belt” on my to-do list.

Little Jimmy Iodine: Hey, Artie! Over here. Put a load on your keister.

Art: Hey gents. What do you hear, what do you know.

Ernie: Where you been, Artie?

Art: Sitting at home, waiting for the president-elect to call me about maybe filling an opening in his cabinet.

Ray: What, the liquor cabinet? I don’t know about filling it, Artie, but you’d be the man to empty it, for sure.

Julius: You’d be better off calling Ted Thompson about the Packers’ head coaching job. Pays a hell of a lot more than secretary of what-the-fock.

Emil: Yeah, those Packers. Do they suck or what?

Art: No. I’ll tell you what sucks. What sucks are the knobs who piss and moan about how the Packers suck.

Ernie: Up yours, Artie. The fans got rights to complain if they focking feel like it.

Art: Fock the fan and his rights. Let me tell you this: To get shit-faced in the tavern and bitch about stuff you don’t know a damn thing about is easy; but to explode your knee seven days a week on the gridiron is hard.

Ernie: Did you watch the TV newscasts at night when the news people talked to all those fans in the taverns about how the Packers and their defense look so suck-butt?

Art: No, I did not watch the newscasts talk to any fans; but I did see them talk to a bunch of nitwit assholes whose biggest challenge in life is to get up out of bed at the same time five days a week in order to go to a crappy job of which chances are good a circus animal could perform just as satis-focking-factorily. But then somehow on football Sunday, nitwit fan asshole squeezes into a green item of outerwear with a “G” on it and miraculously transforms into some kind of strategic Knute Rockne rocket-pigskin scientist? Give me a break.

Julius: All I know is that up there by Green Bay, the times they are a-changin’, ain’a?

Emil: Didn’t somebody write a song about that once?

Herbie: Yeah, this Bob Dylan character. I saw this TV show, and somebody called him a visionary.

Emil: What the fock’s a visionary supposed to be?

Little Jimmy: That means somebody special who sees things that aren’t there.

Ray: Hey, after 15, 16 cocktails I see things that aren’t there too, so big focking deal.


(Hey, this is going late and I know you got to go, but thanks for letting us bend your ear, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.)

Read more: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-28764-heil-to-the-grief.htm

Related:  https://theshepstore.kostizi.com/

Open Blog - Tuesday


Me, neither.