I'm not one of the NRA folks, just wanted to get something for plinking, recreation, and learning about the joys of gun ownership. With all the talk of guns everywhere, in every home and in every hand, I went to the Gun show running this weekend at the county fair grounds. I learned sooo much!
First I learned guns aren't cheap. The only way the Ghetto bangers are getting guns are through theft and black market because they are-NOT-cheap. WOW! They are not cheap. Even the small hide in your hand tiny little squirt gun sized guns are over $350. This is a gun show and I've read that prices are cheaper than stores! Goodness Gracious, I took what I thought was enough cash ($300), and found I could afford maybe four guns in the entire show.
Demographics were interesting too. There were at least 300 people walking the aisles and all were Caucasian. ALL. There were no other colored people there. Not yellow, brown or black. Many were over weight and if they had to run a mile, I think paramedics would have been needed. Not too many women, but more than a few kids (looked 8-11 years of age) carrying their new .22 rifles that their Dad's bought them. Oh but there were some interesting guns there.
Want an AK47? Several examples. Want a Thompson sub machine gun like you saw in the untouchables? At least five that I saw. Several several examples of assault rifles (M16s and so forth). Lots of pistols from Ruger styles, to the 007 James Bond variants and the service 45s called 1911, and revolvers from tiny to Dirty Harry Magnums. All were $$$$ Made me wonder where all the guns in the ghetto come from, but we know where, don't we.
Entrance fee was $5. The building was full of vendors, and enough eye candy to keep you looking for over an hour. Some knives and swords also carried premium prices. I had read about gun shows circumventing gun registration, but all the sales I saw came with a bunch of paperwork that got filled out on the spot. I'll keep looking for a second hand Ruger 10-22 plinker (.22 caliber 10 shot semi auto rifle), but I now know I won't be one of these guys with an arsenal in my home. Gosh but that sort of hobby ties up a LOT of cash, and I don't have it for toys I won't be using that often.
The absolute coolest rifle I saw there had a $5k price. It was a sniper rifle in .50 caliber. I've read about them in my Sci-fi books, but never had an idea just how big a cannon they were. Impressive. No way could I even hold one and aim it. Definitely a rifle you put on a supporting bipod. If you're in the market or just want to see what it's all about, the gun show continues through tomorrow. If you aim to buy, take a lot of money. A LOT of money.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Blogger Down
The last couple of days have been harrowing indeed! Never mind the fact that today is Friday the 13th when the good luck ends. Blogger has been down since Thursday morning into mid day today. I could read the blogs, but I couldn't post any comments, sign in, nor much of anything else-just read... Any click of the the mouse directed me to an error message and/or Blogger not available page. Thinking the problem my be at my end, I had cleaned my computer out, taking viral scans. No change.I'm aware of Blogger shutting down for maintenance issues from time to time, but NEVER for this long. As the hours passed, I began to wonder if my computer was really starting to freak out. Just to be sure if anyone else was having this issue, I called Lizardmom to ask her if she was having any problems. Sure enough, she was... At least my computer was fine.
As I sat vigil over the computer waiting for Blogger to fix their problem, I began to notice the situation was getting worse. Blogs posts and comments were starting disappear-like a virus spending throughout the system. I began to worry if this was the end for Blogger. My mind raced-what will happen to the JTI? How I be able to recover my blog? All those years of hard work gone!
That ray of hope shown through mid day today when Blogger was finally restored. As I surveyed the damage, I noticed that the blog posts that had disappeared, returned. I had lost some unfinished blog posts that I had planned. Many comments remained missing.
Blogger never gave a logical reason to what the problem was, but issued a statement. Hopefully, they'll be able to finish the loose ends of this madness up soon.
At least I can breathe again...
"A Supermarket in California"
What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman, for
I walked down the sidestreets under the trees with a headache
self-conscious looking at the full moon.
In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images, I went
into the neon fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!
What peaches and what penumbras! Whole families
shopping at night! Aisles full of husbands! Wives in the
avocados, babies in the tomatoes!--and you, Garcia Lorca, what
were you doing down by the watermelons?
I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old grubber,
poking among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery
boys.
I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the
pork chops? What price bananas? Are you my Angel?
I wandered in and out of the brilliant stacks of cans
following you, and followed in my imagination by the store
detective.
We strode down the open corridors together in our
solitary fancy tasting artichokes, possessing every frozen
delicacy, and never passing the cashier.
Where are we going, Walt Whitman? The doors close in
an hour. Which way does your beard point tonight?
(I touch your book and dream of our odyssey in the
supermarket and feel absurd.)
Will we walk all night through solitary streets? The
trees add shade to shade, lights out in the houses, we'll both be
lonely.
Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?
Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher,
what America did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and
you got out on a smoking bank and stood watching the boat
disappear on the black waters of Lethe? Berkeley, 1955 --Allen Ginsberg
Walt Whitman was the subject of a previous Poetry Blog.
/ˈɡɪnzbərɡ/; June 3, 1926 – April 5, 1997) was an American poet who vigorously opposed militarism, materialism and sexual repression. In the 1950s, Ginsberg was a leading figure of the Beat Generation. Ginsberg's epic poem "Howl", in which he celebrates his fellow "angel-headed hipsters" and excoriates what he saw as the destructive forces of capitalism and conformity in the United States, is one of the classic poems of the Beat Generation.[1] The poem, dedicated to writer Carl Solomon, has the opening:I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix...[2]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_Ginsberg
Gotta be the same Accountant
Madison
Cost to repair the Capital building after the demonstrators tore it up was estimated at $7.5 million dollars. The real cost was $270,00, a long ways from $7.5 mil.
Capitol Damage TMJ-4
Now the cost of security is estimated at $7.8 million...WTF
I took 500 officers at $25.00 an hour, 40 hours at straight time, 10 at time and half and 10 at double time, comes to $3.6 million.
You cannot add dispatcher’s wages because they are there whether or not there is a protest, but if they added some for the protests you could use their wages.
Then there is gas for the cars, maintenance for the vehicles and a few more incidentals, but not $3.2 million worth of them.
Leads me to believe it has to be the same account hung up on the $7.5 million figure.
Capitol security costs total $7.81 million
I would love to see this report!!!
Cost to repair the Capital building after the demonstrators tore it up was estimated at $7.5 million dollars. The real cost was $270,00, a long ways from $7.5 mil.
Capitol Damage TMJ-4
Now the cost of security is estimated at $7.8 million...WTF
I took 500 officers at $25.00 an hour, 40 hours at straight time, 10 at time and half and 10 at double time, comes to $3.6 million.
You cannot add dispatcher’s wages because they are there whether or not there is a protest, but if they added some for the protests you could use their wages.
Then there is gas for the cars, maintenance for the vehicles and a few more incidentals, but not $3.2 million worth of them.
Leads me to believe it has to be the same account hung up on the $7.5 million figure.
Capitol security costs total $7.81 million
I would love to see this report!!!
WW II
Two old buddies from WW II are sitting on a bench talking.
One of them ask the other, "Hey Bill, you remember back in the big war to end all wars, they gave us those saltpeter pills to make us forget about sex?"
"Yeah, I remember, Joe, what about em?"
"I think mine is starting to work!"
One of them ask the other, "Hey Bill, you remember back in the big war to end all wars, they gave us those saltpeter pills to make us forget about sex?"
"Yeah, I remember, Joe, what about em?"
"I think mine is starting to work!"
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Morning Planets
Just a quick post. May features four morning planets. I managed to see three of them this morning. Jupiter is the highest, Venus to its lower right, and Mercury still farther to the lower right. Here are two pics: first a wide angle shot then a close up taken with a 300mm zoom lens.
Mars is below and to the left, but I got up too late to see it this morning. Mars is not as bright and was overwhelmed by the approaching sunrise.
This morning gathering of planets is better seen from the southern hemisphere. I briefly discussed the reason for this in my previous post. The gathering continues for the next couple of weeks for early risers. Now to see if I can drag myself out of bed even earlier to catch Mars before it gets too bright!
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my rowdy robins! How are you? Things are finally warming up outdoors, but we have to dodge raindrops. The smell of freshly cut grass is something that I forget each year until May aromatically reminds me. Have you noticed how long the days are getting? I so love the sun. At least, I love it as long as the temperature remains below 80. I’m no fan of sunstroke or mid-August heat waves. Moderation in everything, my dears.I think I might have caught a bit of that spring cleaning bug from Lizardmom. I don’t have a full blown case, but I suddenly find myself cleaning up little sections of the house one at a time. Before I know it, I’ll have the whole place done. Well, except for Junior’s room. That, I believe, is beyond cleaning. Demolition is more like it.
I’d like to point out that under Local News in the sidebar, the JTI now has a link to the Journal Times Events Calendar, which is a very handy place to find out what’s going on and what’s coming up in the area. Thank you, Journal Times.
And thank you, Racine Uncovered, for your ongoing efforts to keep our Mayor and City Hall on the up and up. I’ve been working on Mr. Mayor’s mojo and some cracks are showing. I will keep applying my powers to this until the spell is broken. Racine Uncovered is like our political Mother Teresa, tirelessly giving of herself for the betterment of her fellow citizens. Thank you, again.
And thank you, Mother Nature, for the splendiferous show. Most trees are budding in now and a green canopy awaits us on many streets. I see flowering trees and shrubs everywhere. Tulips and daffodils abound. Soon people will plant their annuals and the colors will be a dazzling array. Such beauty! I just love spring.
And I just love you for stopping by to read my blog. Thank you so much, my dear, dear Irregulars. Thank you for having the JTI and thank you for having me as a part of it. You are a wonderful group of people and I bless you all.
Send your spring bouquets to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Have a great week, each and every one of you. I look forward to our next get-together. Senor Zanza and I may have an important announcement to make at that time. Be mindful of all the other people walking, running, skating, driving, and riding out there. A lot of them will be on cell phones or texting. Stay alert. Oikofugic!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Bin Laden Informant
The Pentagon just released a photo of the Pakistani man who gave the
CIA credible information that led them to Osama bin Laden.
He is eligible to get the $25M reward the US Gov't was offering.
CIA credible information that led them to Osama bin Laden.
He is eligible to get the $25M reward the US Gov't was offering.
learn something every day
Riding in the VA transportation we drove past a farm of condos. As we passed this song came to my mind. Oddly as I was doing the research to post this, I found out it's a Weeds song. Theme song? I don't know, I don't hear these days so it might be. Anyway, if you don't watch Weeds, you may not have heard this song in some time.
And from the Silent But Deadly department
Seeing as how we have gone to the bottom today, for your reading enjoyment is a rather long thread from a Bass Guitar forum I frequent. If your not left with tears streaming down your face you dont have funny bone.
Farting at a Show Thread
Farting at a Show Thread
Speaking of Farts....
A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.
But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!
Authur Unknown
I've been inspired...
I got inspired by Orbs and his farting preacher, made me think of this.. I heard this many years ago but it did leave an impression on me that I still think about it and laugh.. If you like the fart humor you'll enjoy this..
Logjam, please come home
My blog below was inspired by my blog below that one. Now this one is also inspired by my blog below, "Farting Preacher." In thinking about the blog, I figured most of the women would either not comment or say something like, "PU. Farting is disgusting." That led me to thinking about logjam, because he always appreciated a good fart joke.
So, logjam, I don't know if you still read this site, but if you do, I am asking you to please reconsider your decision. I miss you, I miss your "From the whatever dept." blogs, I miss your comments, and I miss your fart jokes. Please come home.
I'll put a lamp for you in the window.
So, logjam, I don't know if you still read this site, but if you do, I am asking you to please reconsider your decision. I miss you, I miss your "From the whatever dept." blogs, I miss your comments, and I miss your fart jokes. Please come home.
I'll put a lamp for you in the window.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Farting Preacher
A comment I made on the blog below contained a reference to Robert Tilton, my favorite televangelist. (http://www.roberttiltonlive.com/home.html) I have been "following" Rev. Tilton, on and off (mostly off), since the mid-80's in Chicago. I used to get drunk as a loon and just stare at his antics and spiel on TV, mesmerized by his performance. Sometimes he would talk in tongues. He was noted for his expressiveness.
Then the internet came along and someone had the brilliant idea to take clips of those expressive moments and add sound effects to them. Thus was born the first, and, I believe, the best "Farting Preacher," featuring Robert Tilton:
That was soon followed by "Farting Preacher" 2, 3, 4, etc. When I checked YouTube tonight, they were up to #12, with many "best of" clip collections and variations on the theme. It's become a meme.
Personally, I feel a little proud, kinda like I discovered Tilton way back when in Chicago. A number of years ago, I contacted his organization and got all sorts of prayer cloths and anointed oils and heaps of other promotional material in the mail. I kept writing sob stories about why I couldn't donate and they kept sending more junk. I had a Robert Tilton collection. They finally stopped sending me stuff because I never gave them any money. For the hell of it, I've ordered a copy of the new free book offered on his site. My address is different now, so maybe I'm off their banned list.
Then the internet came along and someone had the brilliant idea to take clips of those expressive moments and add sound effects to them. Thus was born the first, and, I believe, the best "Farting Preacher," featuring Robert Tilton:
That was soon followed by "Farting Preacher" 2, 3, 4, etc. When I checked YouTube tonight, they were up to #12, with many "best of" clip collections and variations on the theme. It's become a meme.
Personally, I feel a little proud, kinda like I discovered Tilton way back when in Chicago. A number of years ago, I contacted his organization and got all sorts of prayer cloths and anointed oils and heaps of other promotional material in the mail. I kept writing sob stories about why I couldn't donate and they kept sending more junk. I had a Robert Tilton collection. They finally stopped sending me stuff because I never gave them any money. For the hell of it, I've ordered a copy of the new free book offered on his site. My address is different now, so maybe I'm off their banned list.
Shake Weight Revisited
A couple of years ago, I posted a blog about the Shake Weight: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2009/07/shake-weight.html Since that time, the Shake Weight has boomed in popularity. Personally, I think the device is hilarious, but someone is laughing all the way to the bank.
Here is a clip of a news station cracking up over a Shake Weight segment:
I didn't know that South Park did an episode on the Shake Weight until I saw the above clip. Here are some YouTube clips from that show:
Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks it's funny.
Here is a clip of a news station cracking up over a Shake Weight segment:
I didn't know that South Park did an episode on the Shake Weight until I saw the above clip. Here are some YouTube clips from that show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYmnP7VOyo4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EndCtBuj0pU
Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks it's funny.
I WON THE LOTTERY - PARTY IS ON ME!
As soon as I can find someone to borrow their cell phone to make an international phone call, I should be able to collect and then throw a HUGE party.......
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Saturday Night Videos
I tend to stay up late on Saturday nights, chilling out after a long weeks of work with a couple of beers and listen to some great music. Nothing is more soothing to the soul than some great music. Here's where I can kick up my feet and relax. Anyways, this sharing my thoughts and introducing the music that I listen to could become a regular thing....
My first pick of the night is "The End" by the Doors from their debut album released in 1967. Jim Morrison's amazing poetry and baritone vocals always have given me the chills. His lyrics can become deep and meaningless, yet the provoke the mind. The tune starts off slow then it cascades to an apocalyptic Oedipal ending with shocking lyrics. I was stunned the first time I heard this tune...
If that didn't shock you. the next tune will..
Some of you maybe ready to break out your lava lamps and black velvet posters. The Rolling Stones went through their psychedelic/golden years in the late '60's and early '70's with albums like Beggars Banquet, Let It Bleed, Sticky Fingers and Exile on Main Street. There wasn't much that could be wasted here, even the deep cuts were something to behold... "Jigsaw Puzzle" off of their Beggars Banquet album (released in 1968) set a tone further beyond the Beatles' bad boy imagine-with a huge amount of talent! No disrespect towards the Beatles-I love 'em! The Stones pushed the envelope of censorship, shocking people with their creativity... Yes, "Sympathy for the Devil" is on the same album.
I've been working on my DrewTube blog lately. It's a documentation of my album collection. Just started a couple of months ago. It's project in the works and will take years to finish...So far, I've gotten to Allmam Brothers Band. Yep, I've got that many albums and bootlegs. Here is the latest entry....Live from Austin City Limits...Unfortunately, I can't embedded from that show, but I'll leave you with "Ramblin' Man" from the House of Blues in 1995.
ENJOY!
My first pick of the night is "The End" by the Doors from their debut album released in 1967. Jim Morrison's amazing poetry and baritone vocals always have given me the chills. His lyrics can become deep and meaningless, yet the provoke the mind. The tune starts off slow then it cascades to an apocalyptic Oedipal ending with shocking lyrics. I was stunned the first time I heard this tune...
If that didn't shock you. the next tune will..
Some of you maybe ready to break out your lava lamps and black velvet posters. The Rolling Stones went through their psychedelic/golden years in the late '60's and early '70's with albums like Beggars Banquet, Let It Bleed, Sticky Fingers and Exile on Main Street. There wasn't much that could be wasted here, even the deep cuts were something to behold... "Jigsaw Puzzle" off of their Beggars Banquet album (released in 1968) set a tone further beyond the Beatles' bad boy imagine-with a huge amount of talent! No disrespect towards the Beatles-I love 'em! The Stones pushed the envelope of censorship, shocking people with their creativity... Yes, "Sympathy for the Devil" is on the same album.
I've been working on my DrewTube blog lately. It's a documentation of my album collection. Just started a couple of months ago. It's project in the works and will take years to finish...So far, I've gotten to Allmam Brothers Band. Yep, I've got that many albums and bootlegs. Here is the latest entry....Live from Austin City Limits...Unfortunately, I can't embedded from that show, but I'll leave you with "Ramblin' Man" from the House of Blues in 1995.
ENJOY!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Happy Mother's Day!
For me I know my Mom has been there for me all the time. She has been there more for me in the last nine years. This is since my ex-husband has walked out on my kids and I. I really appreciate the help she gave me. My kids and I love my Mom very much for all her help.
I told my boyfriend and my daughter I am on strike for Mother's Day. I am not cooking or cleaning. This is my day to relax and enjoy the day. I think every Mom should do this.
I also want to say to my Mom and to my boyfriend's Mom we love both of you very much and we miss you both.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOM'S!♥
"Drunk Customer Fights Off Armed Robber"
Warning: don't try this at home. Remember, these videos are made by professional drunks and robbers.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Time Magazine "X"ed out Bin Laden
This is the 4th time in the history of Time Magazine® they have “X” out a criminal on the cover.
Very interest articles in the special edition if you get a chance to get a copy.
Copied from Time Magazine® without their permission.
Oldie
These guys formed their band in 1962. They had a one shot wonder Hit. For some reason it popped into my head, and yes, my sister had the album. I believe a few of them are still playing together, or were as of 1998 when they did a remake. Here is the original 96 tears.
Visually, this one is TOPS!
Visually, this one is TOPS!
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after long week of work. Overtime-sigh. Need the money though. Anyways, here are some random questions.
1) If you were mayor of this town (or where ever you live), what would be the first thing you would do in office?
2) What teacher do remember the most?
3) Do you consider yourself healthy?
4) Do you know CPR?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) If you were mayor of this town (or where ever you live), what would be the first thing you would do in office?
2) What teacher do remember the most?
3) Do you consider yourself healthy?
4) Do you know CPR?
Enjoy your weekend!
GUNS GUNS GUNS
Even with the open carry law, it’s not just ok or not ok, there are many stipulations included, which I personally feel are good.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Blood pressure. Can you control yours with a thought?
I was reading the responses to salt in your diet and blood pressure came up. I can control mine over a 15 range and have lowered it dramatically during shock treatment (not electro shock) after an accident. Say what? Okay, supposedly only monks, Hindu priests and other highly tuned to their body individuals can do this but surely not everyday man and woman. Not so. It's a trained response.
I read Dune by Frank Herbert at a young age and the Bein Gesserit mantras for reducing pain, fear and so forth made a certain sense. Take control through training. I tried various calming regimens and noticed that there was a difference. Once after a bad cycle accident and the EM staff told me my BP was way too high, I did the calming and made them recheck. They were amazed but wrote it off as a fluke. After my heart attack and I was being checked regularly, if it was too high or too low, I'd ask for a minute and then told them to recheck. The nurses always found it hard to believe and one time there were five nurses in the room observing just to see it happen as they had never seen control of BP before.
The only way I can describe how it works is an internal tightening or relaxing of my cardio system. I'm wondering if anyone else has managed to do this. I always hate being the only weird one. I'm still working on the levitation trick but to this day, no luck and the Madame isn't giving up her secrets.
I read Dune by Frank Herbert at a young age and the Bein Gesserit mantras for reducing pain, fear and so forth made a certain sense. Take control through training. I tried various calming regimens and noticed that there was a difference. Once after a bad cycle accident and the EM staff told me my BP was way too high, I did the calming and made them recheck. They were amazed but wrote it off as a fluke. After my heart attack and I was being checked regularly, if it was too high or too low, I'd ask for a minute and then told them to recheck. The nurses always found it hard to believe and one time there were five nurses in the room observing just to see it happen as they had never seen control of BP before.
The only way I can describe how it works is an internal tightening or relaxing of my cardio system. I'm wondering if anyone else has managed to do this. I always hate being the only weird one. I'm still working on the levitation trick but to this day, no luck and the Madame isn't giving up her secrets.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
"Eating less salt doesn't cut heart risks: study"
"(Reuters Health) - People who ate lots of salt were not more likely to get high blood pressure, and were less likely to die of heart disease than those with a low salt intake, in a new European study.
"The findings 'certainly do not support the current recommendation to lower salt intake in the general population,' study author Dr. Jan Staessen, of the University of Leuven in Belgium, told Reuters Health."
Ha! Take that, my primary care doctor and all you others! I'm going to add salt to my pre-salted potato chips, just to make sure that I get my minimum daily requirement of salt for good heart health.
Put a Smile on Your Face
I had just come out of the store with two porterhouse steaks, a jumbo sausage, a bag of chips, and a 6-pack of beer. A homeless man sat there and said, "I haven't eaten for two days." I told him, "I wish I had your will power.
Top tip: if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck.....I appear in court next Monday.
A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said, 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually.'
I was behind a rather large woman at the checkout. She had on a pair of jeans that said, 'Guess.'
I said, "I don't know........maybe 350 pounds."
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!"
I have a new pick up line that works every time! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away.' But since many doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best.
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently Blacks and Mexicans were not the correct answers.
Top tip: if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck.....I appear in court next Monday.
A fat girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said, 'sorry about the wait.' I said, 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually.'
I was behind a rather large woman at the checkout. She had on a pair of jeans that said, 'Guess.'
I said, "I don't know........maybe 350 pounds."
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!"
I have a new pick up line that works every time! It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner and always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
Years ago it was suggested 'that an apple a day kept the doctor away.' But since many doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best.
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently Blacks and Mexicans were not the correct answers.
Time changes everything..
I woke up this morning and looked out the window and I became amazed at what nature is capable of. Although I'm not a fan of winter, I am in awe of how much our environment can change in just a few months. So I thought I would post a couple of pictures taken in the last 4 months.
These pictures were taken withing the last 4 months.
Taken within the last two weeks....
And finally taken today.. May 4th 2011 (may the forth be with you.. )
I don't like where this is heading..
These pictures were taken withing the last 4 months.
Taken within the last two weeks....And finally taken today.. May 4th 2011 (may the forth be with you.. )
I don't like where this is heading..
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my sentinels of spring! How are you? I think it’s beginning to warm up outside, but it’s hard to tell. One day I wear a light jacket, the next my winter coat is back on. The umbrella must be kept handy, along with the windshield ice scraper. In other words, just another typical spring. I was down on Pershing Drive Monday. Those humungous snow mountains have been reduced to remnants, to dirty little piles of soot, snow and ice.I suppose I should comment on the death of Osama bin Laden, but the Martin Luther King, Jr. quote in Ms. sylvia’s blog below (http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/05/i-mourn-loss-of-thousands-of-precious.html) sums up my feelings pretty well. In any case, those of us who inhabit the psychic realm understand that no life is ever “lost,” just transformed.
“The Kiwanis Club of Greater Racine will hold the 57th annual Pancake Day from 6 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, May 7, at Festival Hall, 5 Fifth St.” - http://www.journaltimes.com/app/calendar/events/index.php?com=detail&eID=23694&year=2011&month=05 Junior loves Pancake Day. He can eat like three men. I must admit, I find the food tasty, too. Raise you cholesterol for a good cause.
Sunday, May 8, is Mother’s Day. Please be sure to pay your respects to mothers everywhere.
Oh dear, now I’m all teary-eyed. I’m sorry if my blog seems a little clipped this week, my friends. I’ve had a long week and an especially long day. My relationship with Senor Zanza takes up more and more of my time. It’s a lot of fun, but I don’t recover from those late night antics like I used to. Oh my. Thank you for reading my blog and thank you for being you. I love you all.
Send your Osama bin Laden death conspiracy theories to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Enjoy the beautiful days to come, my lovelies. May is prime time for plant performances. Remember, after April showers, now come May flowers. Watch out for the bicyclists and motorcyclists now sharing the roads with cars and trucks. There are a lot more pedestrians and runners out there, too. Thank you, again, for reading my blog. Dandiprat!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Bad week(end) and then a rainbow
Had a trip to the VA ER Friday due to bad abdominal pains and got a speeding ticket on the way. The officer feigned deafness to my plight and made me sit there twenty extra minutes as she wrote a huge ticket. I honestly thought I had an inflamed appendix and the docs thought the same until Xrays showed normal old constipation due to the rat poison I need to take for the blood clot. I felt foolish as all heck, but the nurse at the Union grove VA clinic is the one that told me to go. So feeling like hell all weekend and looking at a huge fine, I wasn't looking forward to much of a week, that's when I got the email.
"Hey Huck, we want to come over Tuesday night and install the hoist." Wow, great news. You guys know I use a chair and live alone. What you don't know is that this progressive problem has made me weaker due to the ongoing nerve damage, and that weakness has made getting back into my chair alone a pretty much impossible effort. I had an idea about the beginning of January to adapt an old parachute harness to a Harbor Freight hoist and make a personal lift. The VA had already shot down a lift in my house because I live alone and they demand a second person to operate it and the liftee to be wrapped in a lift harness like a cocoon. Can't have anyone being independent ya know. Gosh they made noises of the house needed a track from the bedroom to the bath and all sorts of foolishness with the end cost of several thousands of dollars. Foolishness.
My idea was to redo an old parachute harness so I could put it on alone, and then lift myself with the hoist control and up into my chair. The HF hoist ran 140 due to my friends thinking we needed something heavy duty. uh, I weigh 190, don't need something that will lift an automobile engine... But what the heck, let em run with it. Mary is a rigger and she dug out old hardware and designed the harness with grab handles on the clip fasteners so I can pop them fairly easily. Seth mounted the hoist tonight where I told him and WHAMMO! We have a launch! Total cost for all materials was $180.00. Naturally if I paid for labor, I'd have put out a lot more, but this is SWEET. So what is the latest the VA says? "Oh, no one has ever done this! Take lots of pictures there is a need and you could sell a lot of them." Uhhhhhhh right. I'll probably put it all out in the public domain and let someone with much deeper pockets claim the design. I never wanted to be rich or famous, just want to keep my quality of life up. With this new hoist and harness it has been raised a good deal.
"Hey Huck, we want to come over Tuesday night and install the hoist." Wow, great news. You guys know I use a chair and live alone. What you don't know is that this progressive problem has made me weaker due to the ongoing nerve damage, and that weakness has made getting back into my chair alone a pretty much impossible effort. I had an idea about the beginning of January to adapt an old parachute harness to a Harbor Freight hoist and make a personal lift. The VA had already shot down a lift in my house because I live alone and they demand a second person to operate it and the liftee to be wrapped in a lift harness like a cocoon. Can't have anyone being independent ya know. Gosh they made noises of the house needed a track from the bedroom to the bath and all sorts of foolishness with the end cost of several thousands of dollars. Foolishness.
My idea was to redo an old parachute harness so I could put it on alone, and then lift myself with the hoist control and up into my chair. The HF hoist ran 140 due to my friends thinking we needed something heavy duty. uh, I weigh 190, don't need something that will lift an automobile engine... But what the heck, let em run with it. Mary is a rigger and she dug out old hardware and designed the harness with grab handles on the clip fasteners so I can pop them fairly easily. Seth mounted the hoist tonight where I told him and WHAMMO! We have a launch! Total cost for all materials was $180.00. Naturally if I paid for labor, I'd have put out a lot more, but this is SWEET. So what is the latest the VA says? "Oh, no one has ever done this! Take lots of pictures there is a need and you could sell a lot of them." Uhhhhhhh right. I'll probably put it all out in the public domain and let someone with much deeper pockets claim the design. I never wanted to be rich or famous, just want to keep my quality of life up. With this new hoist and harness it has been raised a good deal.
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Where is Mel Gibson when we need him......
I will state right off the bat that those of you that know me will remember that there is a side of me that is a full out tin foil hat Mel Gibson conspiracy theorist. And while I am glad that Usama (you say Osama, I say Usama..... lets call the whole thing off) has assumed room temperature, there are some strange things and conflicting information now coming out that ticked on my spidey sense.
What is below is a collection of that is floating around out there, plus inconsistencies coming out in the MSM of the US, Britian and al-Jazzera. I do not necessarily subscribe what is written below, but something doesn't smell right.
For instance, it first comes out that we have the body, then it's buried at sea because of Islamic tradition. But under Islamic law, people can only be buried at sea if they died there.
It first comes out on CNN that Pakistan know about this and helped out by letting us stage from their airbase in northern Pakistan. Then it comes out four hours later that Pakistan knew nothing about this and is upset that we went into their country to do the mission.
It comes out via ABC that they identified the body based on DNA testing taken from the brain of Usama's dead sister at Mass General. We cant get DNA testing from a crime lab for months, but they can do Usama's within a couple of hours? Then CNN states that the US used only facial imaging to confirm it was Bin Laden.
When we got to Saddam, and his sons there was photo and video evidence. All we see here is a burning building, and some locals dragging the helicopter (that was either shot down or had a mechanical issue, based on who is stating it)out of the area.
There are also claims that Bin Laden actually died 8 years ago either due to kidney failure, or a US bombing raid in the Tora Bora mountains.
One theory has it that the reason there was a kill instead of a capture (like Saddam) is that they got in there and had the wrong guy, and it was a kill 'em all and quick body dump.
In addition, why was there an American woman in the room when they got there, and why did she shield Bin Laden with her body?
And who were the others killed. Where are they?
Some are questioning the timing of this, with low poll numbers, highest ever gas prices and economic policy failures and the 2012 campaign right around the corner.
This will be interesting as it unfolds. Glad I went to Sam's club and got the mega roll of foil!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Keynes Vs Hayek
If you don't get the jokes, you have no business arguing economic policy (that includes if you just said, "Keynes vs who?)
In Line at Piggly Wiggly
I went to "the Pig" yesterday. I picked up 5 or 6 items. When I got to the express lane (15 items or less), there was a guy ahead of me with a cart full of groceries. The checkout clerk didn't say anything and neither did I. Some people are just jerks.
After all the groceries were checked, the clerk asked the guy if he had a Pig card. He said yes, but not with him. She asked him for his name so she could look it up. He gave eight different names, each time the clerk looking it up and finding nothing. Then he said it must be in his girlfriend's name and he started giving women's names. This went on for awhile until he finally said, "Oh forget it."
Now it was time to pay. This, too, had to be an ordeal. The guy kept swiping different cards through the reader, but none of them worked. Then he got the clerk involved in swiping the cards. By now, the express lane line snaked down one of the store aisles. I said under my breath, but apparently loud enough to be heard, "Come on." The guy immediately said to me, "Fuck you!" When I said, "What?" He said, "You heard me."
The express lane is right by the service counter and I wasn't going to get into it with this jerk so I just called out for a manager to come to the express lane. Of course, the manager had just gone home and by the time anyone got over there, the guy had paid and left.
However, I was informed of some very interesting things. First, the store does not enforce the 15 items or less rule. They don't care. You can go through with a truckload of groceries. Second, I was told, and I quote exactly, "Anyone can say or do anything they want in America." This was in response to my mentioning the guy cursing at me. So I asked if it was OK for me to go through their store saying "Fuck you" to the customers. They said no, they would have me arrested.
Party on, PIG!
lolololol
After all the groceries were checked, the clerk asked the guy if he had a Pig card. He said yes, but not with him. She asked him for his name so she could look it up. He gave eight different names, each time the clerk looking it up and finding nothing. Then he said it must be in his girlfriend's name and he started giving women's names. This went on for awhile until he finally said, "Oh forget it."
Now it was time to pay. This, too, had to be an ordeal. The guy kept swiping different cards through the reader, but none of them worked. Then he got the clerk involved in swiping the cards. By now, the express lane line snaked down one of the store aisles. I said under my breath, but apparently loud enough to be heard, "Come on." The guy immediately said to me, "Fuck you!" When I said, "What?" He said, "You heard me."
The express lane is right by the service counter and I wasn't going to get into it with this jerk so I just called out for a manager to come to the express lane. Of course, the manager had just gone home and by the time anyone got over there, the guy had paid and left.
However, I was informed of some very interesting things. First, the store does not enforce the 15 items or less rule. They don't care. You can go through with a truckload of groceries. Second, I was told, and I quote exactly, "Anyone can say or do anything they want in America." This was in response to my mentioning the guy cursing at me. So I asked if it was OK for me to go through their store saying "Fuck you" to the customers. They said no, they would have me arrested.
Party on, PIG!
lolololol
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Tap on the Shoulder....
A true story from the pages of the Manchester Evening Times . . .
Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Salford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said "are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn'trealize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault.. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."
Last Wednesday a passenger in a taxi heading for Salford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said "are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn'trealize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault.. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years."
Have you gotten bit yet?
(picture thanks to National Geographic)
Have you gotten bit by the spring cleaning bug yet?
Common symptoms of such bites include but are not limited to -
- Unnatural urges to clean things that you'd rather not
- Strange compulsions to go thru things that aren't bothering you
- Need to evict of dust bunnies
-Abnormal inclination to go into great detail
while cleaning/organizing/sorting, etc
- Friends ask if you're feeling ok
- Kids and/or significant others look scared
- Friends are afraid to come over in fear they may catch it
No rashes are expected, but strange behavior is,
be careful out there, if you haven't been infected yet,
it could happen anytime!
If you have been bitten, hop to it, it's the only way to
flush it out of your system.
Morning Planets and the Crescent Moon
Last fall we had a nice gathering of four planets in the early evening sky. Now we have four planets gathering in the morning sky (but not the same four). The crescent Moon joined them this morning. I am on vacation in Florida and went out to the south side of the Sunshine Skyway to snap a some pictures. Here is the best of the bunch. It's a big file...I uploaded it at full res (you will see why).
Venus is the brightest one beneath the moon. Jupiter is just above the horizon and fairly bright. To find Mercury, you will probably need to click the photo and view it full size. You can find Mercury between Venus and Jupiter. It's not hard to find with the full size photo. Mars is really tricky. Use the full size photo and look just above Jupiter for a little smudge. That is Mars just barely poking through the morning twilight (I did not see it naked eye, just with the camera).
These planets will be hanging out together for most of May. Mercury and Jupiter will get a little farther away from the Sun each morning until May 7th when Mercury will turn around and start heading back toward the Sun while Jupiter continues to get higher in the sky each morning. Mars will also continue its slow climb away from the Sun. Venus is moving toward the Sun. With these movements, its clear that there will be several close encounters between planets in our morning sky in the coming weeks.
Uranus is to the upper right of Venus technically making this a five planet gathering, but that would take at least a good pair of binoculars to tease out.
Part of the problem is that the ecliptic (the plane along which the planets lie) makes a very shallow angle with the horizon this time of year in the morning sky. Therefore the planets are low in the sky even when they are relatively far away from the Sun. This low elevation makes them more difficult to observe. If you travel down to the southern hemisphere, the ecliptic makes a much steeper angle with respect to the horizon so all the planets appear higher in the sky and are easier to see. Steven Graham of Christchurch, New Zealand, took a pic of the four planets yesterday morning and posted it in the Spaceweather.com gallery. Trace a line connecting the planets and notice the difference in angles between Florida and New Zealand, the obvious result of living on a (roughly) spherical planet.
As Leondard Nimoy famous said in the Simpsons, "Ah, the cosmic ballet continues".
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Prince William and Kate Middleton married
Prince William and Kate Middleton married in Westminster Abbey on Friday as 1 million people packed the streets and an estimated 2 billion more tuned in around the world to witness an event expected to revitalize the British monarchy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
