Long John Silvers

Have you seen the commercials for Long John Silvers?

Help me out here, a woman is talking about their good fish and another person ‘slides’ in from the right.

This person is holding a facemask and tosses some confetti in the air, THEN he has this crazy ‘shuffle’ where he slides behind the lady talking about the fish!

If you have seen this commercial...”Do you think the same as me that this guy doing the crazy shuffle has his pantyhose on waaaaay to tight”?

"eHarmony Video Bio "

As I watched, I thought, "She's cute, she has an MBA, and she loves cats. She'll have no trouble getting a date." Then I kept watching. Wow. She really, really, really loves cats. REALLY!

The Big Slide

I went to grade school in a small town in Iowa. I am visiting there right now. When I was in grade school, the best piece of playground equipment was simply the Big Slide. It had two ladders to the top and looked down on the roof of the school. I think you had to be in second grade before you were allowed to go on the Big Slide.

A few years ago, they built a new grade school. Of all the things that I was sad would be lost, the Big Slide was at the top of the list. But then I got here today and what did I see in the new school's playground? THE BIG SLIDE! They disassembled it and moved it to the new school and gave it a nice fresh coat of paint. Here it is in its restored glory.

The community was really behind this from what I hear. I found out they even made Big Slide t-shirts to raise money for moving and restoring it. I found out too late, but they still sell them. A friend offered to buy one and send it to me.

I talked to a guy at the school today. He said the slide was over 80 years old. During the winter we would pile snow at the bottom and let ourselves slide off the end and plop onto the snow and ice at the bottom.

It's great to see this small victory over lawyers and the insurance company that let this slide continue to bring joy to new generations of kids!

"Wis. Union Protesters Disrupt Special Olympics Ceremony"

http://racineuncovered.org/2011/06/video-these-disrespectful-protesters-crossed-the-line-pathetic/

http://www.jsonline.com/news/statepolitics/123554474.html

I don't comment much on the current political turmoil in our state because I like to keep my body parts out of wringers - and, quite frankly, I still don't know what is "right." But I do believe that the Special Olympics and other charitable events should be left out of it.
 

HAWKWIND Master of the Universe

Orbs, your music reminded me of this one by Hawkwind. We use to listen to this one in the "olden days"...

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! Welcome back to Four for Fridays! I know it's an early post, but I have the tomorrow (or today rather) off from work and I plan on sleeping in. So here are some random questions...

1) What is your favorite meal of the day? Breakfast, lunch or dinner?

2) Do you pick up pennies off the ground and "save" them?

3) How fast have you ever driven your car?

4) What is your favorite nursery rhyme?

Enjoy your weekend! (I know I will!)

Open Blog - Friday

Here comes the weekend.

"I Love You"

When April bends above me
And finds me fast asleep,
Dust need not keep the secret
A live heart died to keep.

When April tells the thrushes,
The meadow-larks will know,
And pipe the three words lightly
To all the winds that blow.

Above his roof the swallows,
In notes like far-blown rain,
Will tell the little sparrow
Beside his window-pane.

O sparrow, little sparrow,
When I am fast asleep,
Then tell my love the secret
That I have died to keep.

--Sara Teasdale

"Sara Teasdale (August 8, 1884 – January 29, 1933), was an American lyrical poet. She was born Sara Trevor Teasdale in St. Louis, Missouri, and after her marriage in 1914 she went by the name 'Sara Teasdale Filsinger'.^[1]"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sara_Teasdale

Gosh but I used to love to dance

Went to my first community dance in the 5th grade. The year was 1966. Way back then dances were all ages. A local promoter wannabe would rent out the Sturtevant public school Gym and bring in rock bands. They drew older teens due to the 21 yr old drinking age and curfew. I wasn't a normal white boy as early on I discovered I had both left and right feet on top of a head for rhythm. Yeah, I saw the beginning and end of Disco, and continued to dance even as the white boys shouted it down because that was easier to do than learn how to move your feet. Anyhow, I really liked these guys for the danceable music. Great lyrics too,.

Boards of Canada - "1969"

SER's comment concerning pot on my Roxy Music blog below made me think of Boards of Canada. I know this stuff sounds odd at first, but if you keep listening, you see colors, man. . .
 

Roxy Music - "Take A Chance With Me"

My favorite Roxy Music tune.
 

Cosmic Corner Colors Will Change

This is an update to my recent blog about Cosmic Corner, a shop at the intersection of North Main and Hamilton Streets that was recently painted with bright colors: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/05/city-cites-cosmic-corner-for-colors.html

The people from Cosmic Corner have met with the powers-that-be in Racine and have lost their appeal to keep their colors. They are considered part of the downtown redevelopment zone, or BID, or DRC, or something, and therefore people who have absolutely nothing to do with their business can dictate how they present themselves to the public.

Ain't free enterprise grand?

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my red hot hotties! How are you? Well, no more complaints about cool weather, eh? I suspect Mother Nature may be bipolar. Please, make up your mind already, dear. I don’t know why early June would call for a mid-August heat wave. I am still very happy to see the sun, though, and the weathermen (who I think are drunken fools) say that the temperatures will moderate for Thursday and Friday. And we may have one of those zinger summer storms tonight when the cold front meets the heat. The lightning and thunder and cooling rain are beautiful in their own way, but I don’t like it when the storms get too violent. I am a psychic of peace.

Anthony Weiner jokes are all the rage, as Ms. kk pointed out in her blog below. I thought I’d publish a link to some of those jokes: http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2011/06/07/anthony-weiner-jokes.htm Of course, I am embarrassed and disgusted by the entire affair. If I was married to this Weiner, I’d make sure he doesn’t have much left to send pictures of. Oh my.

Here’s a hot story that developed yesterday: “No bodies found in Liberty County home after psychic's tip” http://www.khou.com/news/crime/Liberty-County-deputies-search-property-after-tipster-reports-dismembered-bodies-123394698.html

I wonder who this “psychic” is? Now it’s just another bum rap affecting the reputation of all psychics. I’ll bet that she is not certified. Humph!

This weekend is the Monument Square Art Fair on the Lake (at Festival Park): http://www.monumentsquareartfair.com/ I remember when the Monument Square Art Fair was still on Monument Square. Err, no I don’t – I remember someone telling me about it. I’m not that old…

Speaking of Monument Square, don’t forget the delightful Music on the Monument series which provides free live music during Friday lunch hours in the summer downtown. Sometimes the square gets to rocking so much that the Civil War soldier statue on the top of the pedestal taps his feet. OK, that’s not entirely true, either. It usually happens on First Fridays, when everyone’s had enough to drink. Oh dear.

Madame Zoltar Soapbox Time: Be extra vigilant about bicyclists as you drive about Racine. It seems that each year brings further erosion in the skills of motorists and bicyclists. I have had to lock my brakes four times recently because of a bicycle running a stop sign/light, and summer has just begun. Those of us in vehicles are surrounded by sheet metal and safety glass. The bicyclist has little protection, except maybe a helmet. It’s no contest if we collide. Please keep your eyes peeled.

“Keep your eyes peeled” - that’s a gruesome expression when you think about it. When I think about my dear Irregulars and friends, though, I get nothing but good vibrations. Thank you so much for reading my blog this week. I love you all.

Where’s Weiner? Find out at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Now remember to keep yourselves hydrated, my dears. Stay some place that is air conditioned. And check on relatives and friends who are elderly or frail. I don’t care what the calendar says, summer is here. Sectility!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Ribbit, ribbit.

Charlie

At least Charlie was enjoying himself in the heat today!

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!

"NO," the woman yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

AccuWeather says it's 101 degrees outside - and climbing

It's only 1:30 PM.


Who whined about the cool spring?


I'm going to go stick my head in a bucket of ice...

On a Recent Trip........

I was in Germany this spring. I saw many beautiful and wonderful sites. But the one site I visited left an impact on me far above all the others.

They saw the small wild flowers growing on the ground. The last sense of beauty many would have.






The sky wasn't any less blue nor the clouds any less white than what others would see.






The portal that many would never exit through.








The inscription that would never be read righted again.








The temptation of freedom often ended on the wires carrying the current of death.









Or on the wall pockmarked by the bullets from the pistols of their executioners.






And all that is left of their earthy remains are the remnants of their ashes embedded in the bricks of the ovens.







The day I was there, it was a warm, almost balmy day. But the breeze that blew across the empty compound where once stood the wooden barracks overcrowded with the living dead, had an eerie chill. And the soft sounds of the leaves rustling in that breeze seemed to carry through time, the whispers of the souls that died there repeating over and over, "Never forget. Never again".



For those that would deny it ever happened, or even those that express their disdain by putting a Hitler mustache on the pictures of those they disagree with, they cheapen those that died there. They have never walked the ground at Dachau.

HOW TO TELL THE SEX OF A FLY

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,

"3 were on a beer can,
“2 were on the phone."

The Lady of Shalott Revisted

A beautiful rendition of Tennyson's poem sung by Loreena McKinnitt. The CD version is a little over 10 minutes long.....but well worth listening to.

SCHOOL VOUCHERS - Again

Hang on to your socks people, the state is going to screw us again! Not only are they taking state money away from Racine Unified they now want to take more money away from us next year to pay for vouchers!

See the articles at JT School Vouchers and at JSOnline.

The vouchers would be funded by the state, with some of that money coming from Racine Unified's state aid allotment. The Racine voucher program would cost about $1.6 million for the next school year and about $3.2 million the year after that with each voucher paying up to $6,442 depending on a student's tuition costs, according to Vos and the motion

Here’s a good one, this goofy woman wants me to pay for her 10 minutes of sex and ends up having a kid and now I should pay to send him or her to school! She is out of her fuck’in mind!

Fabiola Diaz was glad to hear vouchers are moving forward. Diaz, 36, of Racine, has four children: One in a private high school, two in a Unified middle school and one too young for school.

She said she can barely afford to send her oldest child to the private school and would not be able to send her two middle schoolers to private high school without vouchers.

She found her own way to have them she can damn well find her OWN way to pay for them, not out of my pocket!

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Misunderstanding

It's too bad Arnold Schwarzenegger had this little misunderstanding because English isn't his native language.

He told his wife Maria that the babysitter wanted a raise.

Maria said, "Screw her."

Any simple-minded semi-literate Austrian could have made the same mistake, right?

Open Blog - Monday

Red flowers for a red letter day.

Don't ask me what I think of you...

Oh Well... Couldn't find a long version in concert, so you get this..

Dr Jack Kervorkain is Dead

Yep, the man who thrust assisted suicide onto the national stage has passed away. He had a lot of publicity for a while but ended up in jail for a while and kind of fell off the national radar, along with his issue.

Both my parents have told me that they want no extraordinary measures to keep them alive. Shortly before my mother had her stroke, she even told me that she (a staunch Catholic most of her life) could definitely understand where he was coming from. She passed away in '94 from a combination of an auto accident/stroke (accident first, then stroke, the combination was just too much and it was before the clot busters that can help minimize the effects of stroke came on the market). I didn't have to make that decision with her, but still might be faced with it with my father.

As for myself, I can think of circumstances where helping nature take its course would be my choice. I also can understand the people who want to build in lots of safeguards to prevent abuse of the system since I sure don't want someone else making the decision for me!

I ran into Dr. Jack. He was collecting signature at the East Lansing Art Fair while I was in graduate school to get an assisted suicide question on the ballot in Michigan. I stopped, watched a spirited and fun but civil debate he was having with bystanders, signed his petition, shook his hand and wished him luck.

The issue has really fallen off the national radar the last decade or so. It's a shame it takes someone actively breaking the law to spark the discussion.

Four for Fridays

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a pleasant week. This week's questions are random and top off of my head this morning....

1) What are your favorite summertime activities?

2) Have you ever gone camping? If so, how was it?

3) If you had the opportunity to look into your future, what would you look for?

4) Would you rather mow the lawn or shovel the snow?

Enjoy your weekend!

"The Shark Whisperer"

I don't care what "feeling" I had about a shark, I would never, never, never do that. Never.
 

I Need Your Help to Get to LA Fast

I've mentioned in the past my preoccupation with televangelist Robert Tilton. He was the subject of my recent Farting Preacher blog: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/05/farting-preacher.html I said in that blog that I was reconnecting with "Pastor Bob" in the hopes of receiving the usual, outrageous slew of mail containing trinkets, come-ons, and impassioned pleas for money.

The "reverend" has not disappointed me. So far, I've received a dollar bill, presumably to prime the donation pump. I received his book, God's Miracle Plan for Man, along with some "anointing oil" and a "prayer cloth." God, perhaps, knows what's in the oil packet - I'm not opening it. The prayer cloth is a small strip of coarse fabric. Two days ago, I received a blue "cord" (yarn) that I'm supposed to pin to myself or wear around my wrist for a day, then put it in my pillowcase and sleep on it overnight. That guarantees a miracle will happen.

All of these items are accompanied by outrageous letters which continually ask for a "vow of faith," a donation pledge that Pastor Bob says will be repaid to you a thousandfold by God. But first, you gotta give him the money.

Yesterday, I received the announcement below in an email. I don't know why Pastor Bob only gave me two days notice of this major event, but I know I must attend. I have no means to do so, however, and thus I am forced to rely upon the charity of my fellow Irregulars to spring for a round trip airline ticket (first class, please), lodging in LA (it would be nice to stay at the Marriott where Pastor Bob is appearing), meals, taxi fare, incidentals, etc. Please contact me as soon as possible after arrangements have been made. God and/or Pastor Bob will return your gift a thousandfold. But first, you gotta give me the money.

JUNE 4, 2011

Saturday Afternoon at 4:00 pm

The Lord Jesus spoke to me "to go back to Los Angeles.  He wants
to release more Prophet's blessings into your life.   Also tell the
people that are sick to come and He will be healing them".

We are coming to see you again and Release
the Prophet's Blessings into Your Life...
Healings, Miracles, Financial Breakthroughs
Blessings, Blessings, Blessings,

I also have a very special Prophetic Message
to Release Heaven's Best into Your Life.
Don't miss this Great Church Service

TAKE A BUS, PLANE, CAR OR TRAIN... BE THERE!
Marriott Hotel Downtown L.A.
333 South Figueroa St., Los Angeles, CA 90071
*Public Parking Garage Next Door (South) • * Discounted Parking at Marriott
Come and see Signs, Wonders and Miracles through the power that is in the name of Jesus Christ

Open Blog - Friday

Have a good one.

Ballad for the Night (inspired by kk)

There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.

And moving thro' a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot:
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village-churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls,
Pass onward from Shalott.

But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often thro' the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot:
Or when the moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed;
"I am half-sick of shadows," said
The Lady of Shalott.

She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces thro' the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

House cleaning music.

I always LOVED cranking the tunes as i bounced around thew house cleaning it ion Sundays

This gal’s voice was so phenomenal, we should srill being seeing her, but no idea what happened to her.

These guys deserve to be in a Hall of fame. No idea which hall of Fame, but somewhere they deserve alcoloids.

Smashed into fame and faded away. I’m blinded by science.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my iridescent irises! How are you? Wasn’t that lovely weather for Memorial Day? Now that some warm weather is here, let’s not tolerate any complaints about it until at least July. By August we will be baking our brains in the heat and looking forward to fall. So it goes…

I checked out a very handy online article from the Journal Times, “Your guide to summer fun in Racine County,” to see what’s coming up this week: http://www.journaltimes.com/lifestyles/leisure/article_ff8c2baa-7672-11e0-88b9-001cc4c03286.html According to that, this Friday, June 3, will be very busy in downtown Racine and the environs:

“Music on the Monument: Outdoor concert by Brian Daniels (country rock) on Monument Square at Sixth and Main streets in Downtown Racine. 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Free. Chairs and umbrellas are provided.” (http://www.racinedowntown.com/2011MOM.html)

“Walden Wheels Car Show: Walden III Middle and High School parking lot, 1012 Center St., Racine. 10:30 a.m.-noon. Free admission, food and beverages. Spectators welcome. People may enter anything with wheels. Call (262) 664-6250 or (262) 770-3113.”

“First Fridays: Main and Sixth streets, Racine. More than 40 Downtown Racine shops and galleries are open until 9 p.m. Enjoy music both in the stores and on the sidewalks, horse-drawn carriage rides and more.” (http://www.racinedowntown.com/firstfriday.html)

Oh my, I really like the democracy of that statement from the Walden Wheels Car Show: “People may enter anything with wheels.” That’s beautiful.

Please note, my dear friends, that Romanian President Traian Basescu is not dead. It’s all part of an email scam designed to infect your computer:

“Romanian President Declared Dead by E-mail Scam”

“Hoax E-mails Relay the False News That Romanian President, Traian Basescu, Was Disfigured and Killed Following a Car Accident; This Is Just the Latest in a Line of Scams Aimed at Exploiting Celebrity Status to Drive Users to Malware”

http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/romanian-president-declared-dead-by-e-mail-scam-1520851.htm

Thank heavens! I don’t think that my homeland can withstand many more problems. This is from last Thursday’s Journal Times:

“A Romania-based scam cost a 57-year-old Caledonia man about $30,000 after he tried to buy a Porsche Cayman online, according to police.”

http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/article_d560aade-87e5-11e0-a621-001cc4c002e0.html

Oh dear, oh my, what is the matter with my homeland? What is the matter with the world?

If you really want to know, send a formal request to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you, thank you, my dear Irregular and regular readers (and irreaders?) for perusing my blog today. I so love spending time with you, because I so love you. JTIrregulars.com is the site of good vibrations.

Enjoy the warmer weather, my lovelies. Summer may have arrived. Memorial Day may have broken the ice, in more ways than one. If we start seeing a lot of old Sol, don’t forget the sun block. Hagiolatry!

Open Blog - Wednesday

Peace, love, and rock 'n' roll.

The Last ISS/Endeavor Pass

UPDATE: Okay, I bumped this up since someone on facebook pointed out a really cool part of this pic that I missed. Shortly after the shuttle leaves the ISS, it performs a water dump before returning to Earth. Look closely right beneath the trails and you can see a hazy region in the sky. That's the water dump going on! I see it better in the later pictures instead of the one that is zoomed in. Click on the pics to get the larger version. It doesn't show up as well on the smaller versions.

I have taken lots of photos of the ISS and various shuttles over the year. Either right before docking or right after undocking, you can see them flying together in the night sky. This flight is Endeavors last, so I dragged myself out of bed really early this morning for a 3:19am flyby. I got a couple of shots, but made the rookie mistake of not checking the f stop so they pics came out a little darker than they should have.

The top streak is the ISS and the bottom is Endeavor. Notice there is a bright spot toward the left on the ISS streak. Sometimes the sun glints off the solar panels causing a quick brightening of the ISS. This photo is the first time I have captured this phenomena. And here is the next shot, a wide angle version.

Some of you might get one more chance to see Endeavor and the ISS tonight. Check Heavens Above to see if your location is favored. I don't get another pass here in Tucson. There is only one shuttle flight left. Won't know who is favored for that one until it blasts off.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

A Sign from Heaven

Tuesday, the New Monday

Tomorrow is Hump day already?

City Cites Cosmic Corner for Colors

This blog was originally posted on Friday, May 27, 2011, at 9:25 PM. I bumped it to today (a weekday) to give it more exposure.
----------
Have you noticed the little head shop on the northwest corner of Hamilton and North Main Streets? If you haven't in the past, you probably will now. See the pictures at right.

The store is called Cosmic Corner (http://www.cosmiccorner.com/) and it has been there for at least a couple of years, maybe more. I really don't know. The store manager is the same one who ran the old Mainstream Music downtown. They seem to be thriving in their present location.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed their new colors. It's hard not to. The store used to be painted the same color as the upper level. Someone else noticed, too. Now there is a petition in the store that states "We support Cosmic Corner's new colors" for customers to sign. When I asked about the petition, I was told that the city has scheduled a meeting with the store owner because of objections to the colors. I expressed surprise that the city could tell a private business what color to paint itself. I was then told, "Even though we're not downtown, I guess we're part of that 'downtown thingy' and we need their permission."

That's all I know. I'll admit this is not exactly a piece of investigative journalism. I'm not a journalist. I don't know who objected to the colors, but I assume it's another of Racine's nanny-nazis, like the ones who chased BrewFest out of Festival Hall and want to make smoking and farting in the open air a criminal act. I rest so much better at night knowing that these divine arbiters of all are busy telling everyone else how to live their lives.

things people pass around

Open Blog - Tuesday

Surprise!

Chocolate Fest 2011

Ever wonder where your Nestle's Crunch Bars, Butterfingers and 100 Grand Bars come from? One of those places is Burlington, Wisconsin. Burlington is a small community with a population of 10,000 located about 30 miles west of Racine. Affectionately nicknamed "Chocolate City, U.S.A." after the Nestle's plant was built here in 1966, ChocolateFest has been a regular attraction for Burlington for 25 years on the Memorial Day weekend.

Over the weekend, I took my girlfriend (whom never been there) and my son to visit this spectacle. Even though the skies were cloudy with a few raindrops, the temperatures were in the upper '60's. We had fun, anyways.

The centerpiece of the festival



The midway were rides, games, vendors and delicious food are sold.



Kids digging through chocolate looking for hidden treasures



Dresses made from candy wrappers.
(They actually had a fashion show with these!)

Open Blog - Memorial Day

Thank you.
 

As you & I continue to open our deep pockets

As you & I continue to open our deep pockets for this disaster, that crisis, or the next whatever catastrophe, please keep these facts in mind:

The American Red Cross
President and CEO - Marsha J. Evans
salary for the year 2010 was $651,957, plus all personal, medical, & pension expenses.
Less than 10 cents of your donated dollar actually goes to the cause.

The United Way
President - Brian Gallagher receives a
$375,000 base salary, along with numerous personal & family expense benefits.
Less than 12 cents of your donated dollar actually goes to the cause.

UNICEF
CEO - Caryl M. Stern receives $1.2 Million per year (100k per month) plus all living & housing expenses, including a ROLLS ROYCE.
Less than 15 cents of your donated dollar actually goes to the cause.

The Salvation Army
Commissioner - Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization.
96 cents of all donated dollars go to the cause.

I don't think any further comment is necessary.

Deadline to register for no-call list is Tuesday

The next deadline to register for Wisconsin's no-call list to block calls from telemarketers is Tuesday.

Those who sign up through that day will have their phone numbers put on the list starting July 1.

The list is open to home and cell numbers, but registration must be renewed every two years. Anyone who has forgotten when they signed up can sign up again to be safe.

Wisconsin No Call List Registration

Sunday Grin

A woman and her husband are sitting on the veranda drinking a glass of wine, when she says "I love you."

Her husband asks "Is that you or the wine talking?"

She replies "It's me, talking to the wine."

Ah....and such is life.

One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when I said to her, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."

She looked at me intently and said, "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

Bud Commercial

This has been around for awhile but it is a good reminder of what Memorial Day is all about!

You Might Be From Arizona If...

We had the Wisconsin version a while ago...here is the Arizona version (not my originals).

• You buy salsa by the gallon.
• Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags. And several chile ristras.
• All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
• You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.
• Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los."
• You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
• You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
• Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
• You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.
• You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
• You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
• You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
• You can say 120 degrees without fainting.
• Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
• You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
• The pool can be warmer than you are.
• You can make instant sun tea.
• People will drive more than 100 miles just to see snow.
• You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
• People with black cars or black upholstery are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.
• You know that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
• The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
• You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro," "Tempe," "Gila Bend," "San Xavier," "Canyon de Chelly," "Mogollon Rim," "Cholla," and "Ajo."
• It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
• Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 SPF is a joke, and you wear it just to go to the Circle K.
• Hot-air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
• No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
• You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a difficult week. A three day weekend is on it's way and it couldn't come at a better time. Let's kick it off with some random questions...

1) If you could own a business, what kind of business would you run?

2) If you could change something in your past, what would you change?

3) Do you think there is life on other planets?

4) Do you know sign language?

Enjoy your weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

What is candy corn doing in that picture?

Soggy bread

Has anyone else noticed store bread is getting soggy? Almost either undone, or extra water to stretch the bread as it's sold by weight. Not talking about the bakery bread but the brand names.