An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.
He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance... never really wanted to"
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody standing around was laughing.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said; "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir ... but ... I've always wanted to"
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Crepuscular Rays at Sunset
I have been really negligent blogging. A very busy summer and lousy weather in Tucson for photography haven't helped. However, I am hoping to get back to a regular schedule here.
Last night wasn't a great night for photography, but the clouds produced some very nice crepuscular rays at sunset. You have probably seen crepuscular rays before: they stream through the clouds and appear to radiate from the Sun (I always think of the scenes with God in The Holy Grail when I see them). They are usually seen near sunrise or sunset when the contrast in the sky is higher, but they can be seen at any time of day under the right conditions. Here is a shot of the crepuscular rays last night.
I used a polarizing filter to increase the contrast a little bit, but they were very visible to the naked eye (in fact, they polarizing filter made the pic better match what I saw). Here is another shot.
The rays were very long so I turned my camera kind of diagonal to try and capture the length of the rays (this reminds me of the constant off-kilter filming they used in the 1960's Batman TV series).
So don't think you won't get a nice sunset just because there are a few clouds hanging around!
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Guard Dog
Got A New Dog I got a new dog to guard my house. It was a little more than I thought I should pay, but I think when word gets out, we'll be a relatively crime-free neighborhood. The nice part is he is a year old and already fully trained. For your safety, you might want to call the house from the driveway -- and in the safety of your car!
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Again, we're back to another episode of Four for Fridays! It's been a long and rather unexciting week for me. Good to have the weekend here. Anyways, some questions for you...
1) Do you know how to use the metric system?
2) Have you ever slept the entire day away?
3) What kind of jewelry do you wear?
4) How many keys on your key ring?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) Do you know how to use the metric system?
2) Have you ever slept the entire day away?
3) What kind of jewelry do you wear?
4) How many keys on your key ring?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
I’m so Depressed....Laugh’in
That’s it for me for the month; JT has cut me off.
Guess I’ll have to go to the bar and finish reading about the hinie hole Keith Fair.
Guess I’ll have to go to the bar and finish reading about the hinie hole Keith Fair.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Home
The wedding was full of extremely talented people, many who sing beautifully and the bride and groom were no exception.. They had decided to perform at their own wedding reception and this is their song..
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my midsummer night’s dreams! How are you?
The drought has made me near delirious.
I’ve envisioned a marvelous machine for Racine:
a huge water sprinkler atop the Courthouse.
It could be set to water only portions of the city at a time, or all of
it in each sweep. That should take care
of any excess capacity at the Water Dept., plus provide the city with much
needed precipitation. Once again, my
dear Racinians, I offer you my idea for free.
Take it, run with it, and become known as Sprinkler
City, or continue the current decay. The sprinkler could be lit at night for
effects. Sell the naming rights to
offset costs. Maybe put it atop Monument
Square rather than the Courthouse. Go, sprinkler!
If that doesn’t work, there is this:
Finally, we could build an ark and gather animal pairs. That started some rain the last time around.
I feel it necessary to comment on the Racine Common
Council’s recent decision to color the roof of Festival Hall copper. My comment is, “No.” Sell the naming rights to Festival Hall and/or
sell advertising space on the hall’s roof.
There, problem solved and some revenue generated. Perhaps I should run for mayor. It’s not that hard when you aren’t playing
favorites. “Madame Zoltar: Bringing You
Tomorrow’s Bureaucracy Today” “Madame Zoltar’s Ten Year Plan: I Already Know
What Happens” “Madame Zoltar: I Won’t
Sue You”
Thank you so much, my dears, for reading my blog today. It’s our weekly chance to touch base. I enjoy giving some small measure of delight
to my audience. You are my raison d'être.
Want to know a secret? madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Enjoy the warm days of summer, my butterflies. You know the routine: stay hydrated, wear sun
block, wear a hat. The days grow
imperceptibly shorter. Enjoy, enjoy. Kalokagathia!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I Wont Give Up
I absolutely had to share this. This is from my SILs wedding and one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. It started off as a solo sung by one of their friends who has an incredible voice and a surprise to us all the groomsmen joined in by the end. I could not help but cry during it as you can see me in the background drying my tears. The groom could not keep his eyes dry.. simply beautiful, when you watch, which I really think you all should turn up the volume so you can get the full experience.. keep watching and you get a glimpse of Maia as one of the flower girls doing what Maia does..
Monday, August 6, 2012
Some questions to keep the "gray cells" active !!!!
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's Name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Rachel's $1,000 offer is too good to be true
If a customer service representative named Rachel emails you and says you've won a $1,000 Visa gift card, don't believe her. It's a scam, state officials say.
Earlier this year, some Wisconsin residents received robo calls from someone claiming to be Rachel from "credit card services" who directed people to a website in an email phishing scam, according to an email alert Monday from officials with the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection.
Now the scam has changed to emails from "Rachel, Customer Service, Employee Benefits Center, LLC" informing people nationwide that they have been issued a free $1,000 Visa gift card on behalf of a local business, charity or government agency.
"Be aware that it is a scam and take no action with the email," the alert says. "The emails appear official and ask recipients to visit a website to claim the card. If a recipient falls for the bait and visits the website, he/she will be asked for a number of personal details. It is also possible that the website may attempt to load malicious software (known as "malware") onto the victim's computer."
Typically, the scam emails will include the same content, the alert says.
The subject line of the email will typically read: (Your name), a thank you from (local company name).
The body of the email will include the recipient's first and last name and an "Issuing branch" in the city or state where the recipient lives, a "Valid until" date for the card (often listed as "08/2015"), a website where the recipient can "claim the card and have it shipped to the address of your choosing," a 48-hour deadline to make victims react more quickly to the "offer" and a signature from "Rachel, Customer Service, Employee Benefits Center, LLC."
"If you receive this email, do not visit the listed website, open any links or attachments, respond to the sender or take any other action with the solicitation," the alert says. "Update your anti-virus software to ensure that your computer can recognize any recent malware attacks."
For more information or to file a consumer complaint, visit datcp.wi.gov, send an email to datcphotline@wisconsin.gov or call the hotline toll-free at (800) 422-7128.
In general, officials advise consumers not to respond to any prompts during automated spam calls - even if the caller offers to unsubscribe the recipient from further calls by pressing a button. Usually, doing so will only increase the number of calls because it confirms to the caller that there is a live person at the other end of the line. This allows the caller to sell the number to other spammers as a working number.
Source: JSOnline
Earlier this year, some Wisconsin residents received robo calls from someone claiming to be Rachel from "credit card services" who directed people to a website in an email phishing scam, according to an email alert Monday from officials with the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection.
Now the scam has changed to emails from "Rachel, Customer Service, Employee Benefits Center, LLC" informing people nationwide that they have been issued a free $1,000 Visa gift card on behalf of a local business, charity or government agency.
"Be aware that it is a scam and take no action with the email," the alert says. "The emails appear official and ask recipients to visit a website to claim the card. If a recipient falls for the bait and visits the website, he/she will be asked for a number of personal details. It is also possible that the website may attempt to load malicious software (known as "malware") onto the victim's computer."
Typically, the scam emails will include the same content, the alert says.
The subject line of the email will typically read: (Your name), a thank you from (local company name).
The body of the email will include the recipient's first and last name and an "Issuing branch" in the city or state where the recipient lives, a "Valid until" date for the card (often listed as "08/2015"), a website where the recipient can "claim the card and have it shipped to the address of your choosing," a 48-hour deadline to make victims react more quickly to the "offer" and a signature from "Rachel, Customer Service, Employee Benefits Center, LLC."
"If you receive this email, do not visit the listed website, open any links or attachments, respond to the sender or take any other action with the solicitation," the alert says. "Update your anti-virus software to ensure that your computer can recognize any recent malware attacks."
For more information or to file a consumer complaint, visit datcp.wi.gov, send an email to datcphotline@wisconsin.gov or call the hotline toll-free at (800) 422-7128.
In general, officials advise consumers not to respond to any prompts during automated spam calls - even if the caller offers to unsubscribe the recipient from further calls by pressing a button. Usually, doing so will only increase the number of calls because it confirms to the caller that there is a live person at the other end of the line. This allows the caller to sell the number to other spammers as a working number.
Source: JSOnline
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Mars Rover Poised to Land at 12:31 A.M. (CDT)
"5 Questions (and Answers) About Tonight's Mars Rover Landing," http://www.pcworld.com/article/260420/5_questions_and_answers_about_tonights_mars_rover_landing.html
Good luck, Curiosity!
If I were the Devil
Past or present.. its still the same....
Do you remember the famous ABC radio news commentator Paul Harvey?
Millions of Americans listened to his programs which were broadcast over 1,200 radio stations nationwide.
When you listen to it, remember the commentary was broadcast 47 years ago.... April 3, 1965. It's short... less than 3 minutes.
Do you remember the famous ABC radio news commentator Paul Harvey?
Millions of Americans listened to his programs which were broadcast over 1,200 radio stations nationwide.
When you listen to it, remember the commentary was broadcast 47 years ago.... April 3, 1965. It's short... less than 3 minutes.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
MEDICAL ADVICE!!
Excellent medical advice
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind & body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing don’t eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try f***ing in bed cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.
SO, REMEMBER ... FASTING
is good for health and, ... may the good Lord cleanse you dirty mind....
Friday, August 3, 2012
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends! It's been a positive and productive week so far and I'm thanking it's Friday. Anyways, here are some questions for you...
1) Have you been watching the Olympics? If so, what event?
2) What profession do you think gets overpaid?
3) What profession do you think gets underpaid?
4) What has been the highlight of your summer so far?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) Have you been watching the Olympics? If so, what event?
2) What profession do you think gets overpaid?
3) What profession do you think gets underpaid?
4) What has been the highlight of your summer so far?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
You can't make this stuff up
"Ancient dopers got their kicks from raw testicles"
"(Reuters) - Forget anabolic steroids in easy-to-swallow tablets, or EPO in clean syringes. Ancient Olympic dopers got their pre-Games hormone boost from chewing on raw animal testicles."
Read more: http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/08/01/us-oly-doping-history-day-idUSBRE8700YC20120801
I learn something new from the internet every day.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my hot dogs and cool cats! How are you?
Happy August! The heat continues,
the drought remains. We bravely march on
into the future, soldiers for the JTI. Oh my, where did that come from? A premonition, perhaps, of bleak days ahead? Dear, dear, dear.
I welcomed reading Ms. lizardmom’s blog about a get
together, http://www.jtirregulars.com/2012/07/i-miss-you-guys.html. Oh joy, oh joy! Señor Zanza and I will be
there. Junior, I’m sure, would rather
play video games at a friend’s house. I
can hardly wait to see my dear irregular family again. We have so much to catch up on. I hope the festivities end the usual way,
with Ms. kk and I locked in a one-on-one drinking match. Señor Zanza, who has to get me home, hopes
otherwise.
Have you noticed the recent hike in the cost of almost
everything? My neighbor’s bank suddenly
more than tripled the cost of a checking account. I told him, “You don’t expect the bankers who
made all those bad investments to make up the money they lost, do you? We are going to pay for it. We always do.” It’s getting to the point that it is cutting
into the staples. I will have to raise
my rates in response, so that I can feed myself. And the circle of inflation never ends.
Have you heard the sweet sound of the ice cream truck as it
lures children out for treats? You
have? Then you haven’t heard the ones
around here. If I hear “Turkey
in the Straw” a few thousand more times, I may do something drastic. I don’t want to deprive the children of their
treats, but an occasional change of tune might be in order. There are many children’s songs that they
could play. Or maybe there is some
subliminal message in “Turkey
in the Straw” that makes you want ice cream.
I don’t know, but what is the point of circling my block half a dozen
times? Do that again and I’ll stuff your
turkey where the moon doesn’t shine.
I was deeply saddened to read about the demise of the
Monument Square Art Fair, http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/monument-square-art-fair-closes-at-half-century-mark/article_a66ca43c-db02-11e1-ab7c-001a4bcf887a.html.
I remember when it was still held on Monument Square. Back then, there were two reflecting pools
instead of the open area there is now.
Artists had to set up on the sidewalk or in the small area near the
monument. They quickly outgrew that
place. I am so sorry to see the fair
go.
Last year, Señor Zanza and I visited the Starving Artists
Fair. Attendance was obviously
down. Usually, you can barely get
through the crowd. There was plenty off
room last year. That’s coming up this
Sunday, August 5, http://racineartguild.com/saf.html. I hope they do better than the Monument
Square Art Fair. The Señor and I will be
somewhere on the grounds. The Starving
Artists Fair is one of my favorite ones.
They sell delicious bratwurst.
Thank you for stopping by to read my blog. I do so
appreciate it. My readers are my
friends, my readers are my family. You
nourish me with your attention. Thank
you very much.
Normal variations or climate change? Find out: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
You know, it’s not only the plants that need water, my
dears. Don’t forget to keep yourselves
hydrated on these hot, sunny days.
Pulling all of the shelves and food out of the refrigerator, climbing
in, and shutting the door behind you is not a good idea. It never was and it never will be. Furor scribendi!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!!
OK boys and girls, let's get together!!!
Lets agree on a date, the place is where we went last time.
I know it's been far too long. I miss you all.
I'm looking at a Sunday in August, the most popular date
amongst wins.
Please post which Sunday's work for you,
and by the weekend we will have a date for sure!!
thanks !!
Lets agree on a date, the place is where we went last time.
I know it's been far too long. I miss you all.
I'm looking at a Sunday in August, the most popular date
amongst wins.
Please post which Sunday's work for you,
and by the weekend we will have a date for sure!!
thanks !!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Another Health Announcement
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO THAT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!!
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME." No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads: "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE"
PROBLEM SOLVED!!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Public Health Announcement, Egad!
http://www.youbeauty.com/health
Albino Hummingbird..
A rare treat... an albino hummingbird. Something that is seldom seen and almost NEVER photographed.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a week of roller coaster weather. Finally got some rain.... Anyways, some questions for you.
1) Paper or plastic at the supermarket?
2) Are you a spender or a saver?
3) Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
4) Do you prefer thunder or lightning?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) Paper or plastic at the supermarket?
2) Are you a spender or a saver?
3) Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
4) Do you prefer thunder or lightning?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Wolf Hunt Controversy
Despite criticism from both sides of the debate, the Wisconsin Natural Resources Board recently unanimously approved a gray wolf hunt.The harvest limit was set at 201 animals, nearly a quarter of the state's population. Hunters and farmers seeking relief from wolf attacks on their livestock argued at the that the number was too low, pointing out the DNR has estimated as many as 880 wolves may roam the state, far exceeding the department's goal of 350.
According to the DNR, there were 162 wolf packs active in Wisconsin in 2010, including 23 in Central Wisconsin and 139 in Northern Wisconsin. A pack consists of at least two adult wolves, and at least 47 of the packs had five or more wolves.
Those are just some of the facts I just read out of the Shawano Leader. Here's what I know already... Wolves are the largest wild member of the canine family. They are highly sociable and live in packs up to six to ten animals, led by a dominating alpha male and female. The dominant pair is a charge of the pack, raising the young, capturing food and maintaining territory.
A wolf pack's territory may cover up 20 to 120 square miles. That is a lot of ground to cover! A fact that does invite conflict with wolves biggest enemy, humans. Remember this, wolves by nature are shy and timid around people and are rarely seen.
A glimpse of Wisconsin's history with wolves may offer insight on the struggles between man and wolf, according to the DNR site... Before Wisconsin was settled in the 1830's, wolves lived throughout the state with a estimated population of 3,000 to 5,000 of these creatures. Explorers, trappers and settlers transformed the native Wisconsin habitat into farmlands, hunted the bison and elk to extirpation, and reduced deer populations. As their prey species dwindled, wolves began to feed on easier to find prey-livestock. This did not go too well with the farmers, whom put pressure the Wisconsin Legislature to put a bounty on the wolves. By 1960, wolves were declared extirpated from the state.
A similar story occurred among the lower 48 states with the exception of Minnesota, which claimed to have 350 to 500 wolves in their state. In 1974, the federal government recognized the dire need of the wolves by placing them under the protection of Endangered Species Act, making it unlawful to kill the wolves. About this time frame, some wolves from Minnesota reentered Wisconsin and established home in the northwest corner.
In 1979, the DNR began an extensive recovery program for the wolves by the intense monitoring of these creatures. Attempts to capture, attach radio collars and radio-track wolf movement throughout the state. Part of recovery program was not only to educate, provide legal and habitat protection and provide compensation for problem wolves, but to set a goal to reach 350 wolves in the state for reclassification to a threatened species. This goal was reached in 2004. As of now, there are about 880 of them.
As their numbers increased, so did the the conflict between man and wolf. In 2012 so far, there has been eight confirmed cases of wolf depredation in the state, six of them to livestock and other two to hound dogs. So far the state has paid out $214,794 this year in compensation for the losses. (Some of them may be fraud). This raises a concern to farmers and dog owners. A concern that may be well valid.
The hunting season will begin Oct. 15. Permit sales will begin Aug. 1, with an application of $10. License fees are $100 for residents, $500 for nonresidents.
This whole thing raises some thoughts out of me. 880 wolves doesn't seem too big of a number to me compared to about 1.16 million deer and about 40,000 bear in Wisconsin. Are the farmers using wolves as scapegoats? True, wolves are carnivorous creatures that have attacked livestock. Yet, the bear population has exploded in the the northern regions of Wisconsin in an alarming rate, creating a nuisance out themselves. And yes, they are being hunted. Are the bear responsible some of the attacks? At an 880 wolf count is a wolf harvest really necessary? I understand the farmers' plight, for they do have a right to their investments. Is $719 for a lost cow or $1500 for a lost hound enough compensation? Would getting rid the wolves solve the problem?
I'm not a NRA lover nor a PETA activist. I draw my line the middle somewhere. I don't hunt, yet my father does and I have no real issues those who do. He has taught me the integrity of a good hunter, that is take what you need and leave alone the rest. However, I do enjoy spending time the in woods taking wildlife pictures. I dream of the day where I can gaze into a wolf's eyes just before I snap a shot, for I have never seen a wolf in the wild (save for a few tracks). Wolves are an integral part of nature's ecological system. They help keep the deer population under control by feeding on the young, old, sick and the weak. It's the way Mother Nature conducts her business....
What do you think about proposed wolf hunt? What are your thoughts?
Baja, Wisconsin
Baja, Wisconsin formerly known as Racine.
As the deserts grow every year so are Baja’s beaches. They use to be a couple hundred yards deep from the lake, now there are areas which almost reach to Douglas Ave.
Looking at City Hall the sand is right up to the building.
I remember you could drive the streets and see beautiful green lawns; now they are brown and full of weeds.
I remember when you could sit on your front porch and not worry about the sand and dirt getting into your favorite beverage.
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