Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Installing a Husband

This had been circulating the internet, author unknown. I found it at Dvorak's Blog and will repost for fun.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

***************************************************************

DEAR DESPERATE

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Tooting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck !

Tech Support

4 comments:

Toad said...

I will be FIRST to admit. IT'S TRUE. As a matter of fact, when I see young folks that state they are getting married soon, I tell them "Their NUTS" I LOVE my wife but, it sure changed after the WORDS were spoken. SOMETHING changes that takes the fun OUT? SOME people go on and NEVER suffer these problems. All I can guess is they don't have to BUILD their future, it's already been defined?

That's What She Said said...

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and he still treats me like a princess. Flowers, gifts, jewelry, and we are best friends and do everything together. Even though I'm a stay at home mom, when he comes home from work we'll take turns with cooking, changing diapers, taking care of the kids, cleaning up... and he does it all with a smile on his face and hugs and kisses for me. I only hope that I can be as wonderful to him as he is to me. I know I snagged a good one.

Toad said...

That's What: YOU are ONE lucky lady. I have HEARD of this happening and am happy to see it really is true. The two of you must be 100% committed.

That sounds rather odd but, I believe it to be true that many thing change after marriage. It probably has to do with the unknown prior to, than anything else. The two of you probably knew EVERYTHING about each other at marriage time.

kkdither said...

Upgraded? I've heard that program was nothing but trouble and caused your operating system to crash!