Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my luscious lollipops! How are you? Has everyone gotten over their disappointment concerning the cancelled picnic? Oh dear, I am so, so sorry for my botched prediction. Even the best can’t claim 100% accuracy, but I feel very bad for having let down my beloved Irregulars. I’ve said in the past that I don’t like to deal with Mother Nature because she is so unpredictable. Despite my misgivings, I asked her what she had planned for us on Saturday. She said the storm front was going to split before it reached Racine, with half passing to our north and the other half to our south. Like a fool, I believed her. Oh my, when will I learn?

I received a rather disturbing email this week from someone named “l_O_o_n_E_y_T_U_n_E_s”. The message contained links to the two videos which appear below, apparently the work of the same person.

First is “Hand Thing:”



Second is “Kitty Candy:”



Those videos are on the YouTube channel of “ShayeSaintJohn:” http://www.youtube.com/user/ShayeSaintJohn, where many more are available. Why Mr. or Ms. T_U_n_E_s sent me links to those videos, I have no idea. I find them fairly disturbing, yet somewhat interesting, like an automobile accident. Oh my, I just shivered! I tried replying to the original email, but it is a no-reply account. Please, Mr. or Ms. T_U_n_E_s, if you are reading this, please do not send me anymore links to anything else, period, please. Those videos skewed my aura for the rest of the day. In my business, if your aura is skewed, you are screwed.

Now that Wisconsin’s primary is over, we can expect the gloves to come off in some of our local races. I sincerely hope that everyone involved does their best to avoid the nastiness and negativity that have filtered into many of our political debates. Please, let’s try to keep it civil. No matter who wins or loses what, we all have to live together.

Well, that’s my blog for this week, my dears. Think of it as a creepy preview of Halloween, soon to be splattered all over every store you enter. Thank you so much for spending time with me. I love you, my friends, and I look forward to seeing you all at the picnic this Saturday.

Please send your comments, questions, or DNA samples to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Enjoy the cooler weather. At least, I think it’s cooler. Now I’m afraid to say anything about the weather. Enjoy whatever climatic conditions occur. There, that should cover it. Advection!

10 comments:

OrbsCorbs said...

Wacky stuff, Mme. Z. There's a lot of nuts out there.

kkdither said...

Mme., is it only me? That woman in the videos bears a striking resemblance to that hussy, Mme. Esmeralda... the mechanical 'fortune teller' for whom Monsieur Zoltar had an uncontrollable attraction!

Could your ex be messing with your aura? Think about it. When was the last time you experienced such a faux pas in your predictions? It isn't like you to be so "off" concerning something as basic as the weather and the picnic...

Anonymous said...

Oh my, Ms. kk, I think you may be right! I have been feeling a bit "off" for awhile now. The Esmeralda connection could explain a lot . . .

Thank you, Ms. kk, for looking out for me. The Irregulars are so wonderful to me.

I wouldn't put anything past that mechanical mutt I was once married to. Some people just can't move on.

SER said...

Maybe there is a subliminal message in those vids I’m failing to see.........

Besides that, they are really really......different

Beejay said...

Esmeralda...I do believe I saw her in Arcadia acting up with Zoltar, that slippery fortune grabber....

BiggieD said...

Dear Madame Zoltar..as a brand new member of the JT IRREGULARS..this is my first post..i have followed you from way down south in florida..close to beejay and the princess dog... i live in the land of oranges and grapefruits...not cheese and bratwurst as you do.. but do like to keep up with my friends in the far north.. keep up the good work...

kkdither said...

Let me be the first to welcome you, Biggie D. You are as irregular as the rest of us! :D

Anonymous said...

Mr. BiggieD, thank you for your comment, and thank you for the honor of directing your first post towards me. Welcome to the Irregulars! Feel the love. I am so grateful that you joined. You are welcome no matter where you are from. If I had any sense, I would join you and our beloved Ms. Beejay "in the land of oranges and grapefruits" before another Wisconsin winter sets in. Brr! I'm cold already.

BiggieD said...

thanks for the welcome from ms. dither and mme. zoltar... florida is indeed the place to migrate to in the winter... we are waiting for october to come so we can plant our marigolds and petunias for the winter...mme zoltar could ditch her fur-lined under garments.. trade them for a thong and work on her tan lines ..with a rum runner or sunrise in her hand by the pool..

Anonymous said...

Oh my, my, my dear. That does sound tempting.