Sunday, September 25, 2011

colonoscopies

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by some of his male patients while he was performing their colonoscopies:
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1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

... and the best one of them all :

12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."

5 comments:

OrbsCorbs said...

Man, do I know that feeling. Even a urologist doing a thorough exam of the prostate gland gets a little too intimate for me.

drewzepmeister said...

That is funny....

Anonymous said...

I got a letter from the GI guys saying I'm due for another looksee. It's not the procedure that bothers me because they always give you a good dose of Milk of Amnesia in the IV. It's shitting marathon that takes place the night before. Seriously, the brand name of the stuff is G0-Lytley (because it replenishes the electrolyte you crap out). I refer to it as Go Like Hell.

Why Not? said...

Now I have no experience with a colonoscopy but I was given this powder stuff to drink before I tried this vitamin fast thing I did years and years ago.. it came from the natural food store and it was called Togo f(or to go as I said).. it tasted like a bitter salt and man oh man you could not leave the house for hours after you took that stuff.. the man behind the counter just said it was a gentle cleanser for your system.. there was nothing gentle about it... terrible.. and that fast was terrible too.. the whole thing terrible and wouldnt do it again..

jedwis said...

I would just go have Mexican food the night before, solves that problem.

The male responses were funny, but I bet some female responses would be better. lol