Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my hot, hot dogs!  How are you?  This kind of weather can be dangerous.  One nice thing, though, is the low humidity.  It’s not too often that we get dry heat.  It reminds me of the southwest, where Mr. hale-bopp lives.  It’s like living in an Easy-Bake oven or a toaster.  I guess that makes me a Pop-Tart.  Oh my.

As the weeping and gnashing of teeth indicates, our illustrious Green Bay Packers lost their season opener to the hated San Francisco 49ers.  Oh my.  Oh dear.  Oh well.  On this Sunday, the Pack will meet the Washington Redskins at noon on Lambeau Field.  Please, my dearest, most wonderful Packers, kill them!  By the way, Native Americans objecting to the use of the name ‘Chiefs’ are scheduled  to protest at Lambeau Field Sunday.   

Also, the Irregular Fantasy Football League has started a new season.  Last week, my Screaming Psychics met Mr. OrbsCorbs’ Orbliterators in our season opener.  It ended in a tie.  This week, my team will match up against The Mighty Bears; a team which I believe is run by Ms. Tender Heart Bear.  Sorry, Ms. THB, but I predict that your team will be history.  The Screaming Psychics have looked into the future and it is ours.

The future of Racine is much more in doubt.  The ongoing political machinations in City Hall don’t bode well for us.  This administration has done more damage to Racine than any of our criminals.  Businesses and other employers are shunning our city because of the problems.  We seem to be able to attract only paid consultants.  People are hurting very much.  Change must come, or Racine will perish.  Oh dear.

On a completely different topic, did you know that the size of a man’s testicles correlates to how active a role he will take in bringing up a child?  The smaller the testes, the more involved a man will be.  Who comes up with this stuff?  Researchers at Emory University, that’s who: “Testicular volume is inversely correlated with nurturing-related brain activity in human fathers,” http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2013/09/04/1305579110.   How do these people decide what they will study?  Are they sitting around in the break room one day when someone asks, “Hey, I wonder if testicle size is related to nurturing?”  They get paid for this.  I think I could come up with any number of odd things to research.  Why can’t I get paid for it, too?

Thank you for stopping by my blog this week.  I love friends and visitors.  You are my raison d'être.  May the Lord bless you all.

What else is related to your genitals' size?  Find out: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Keep cool and hydrated, my honeys.  Find some shade and relax if you can.  Before we know it, winter will be upon us.  Brr.  Keep an eye out for the school buses and kids.  Hydromancy!

11 comments:

OrbsCorbs said...

Maybe testicle tucks will be the next wave in plastic surgery.

Hydromancy: "divination by means of the motions or appearance of water."
Are you practicing this now, Mme. Z?

Tender Heart Bear said...

Sorry Madame Z but I have a feeling that the Mighty Bears are going to win this week.

OKIE said...

I would like to have seen that proposal for the testicles and the reaction of the people reading it. Seriously, who comes up with doing a study on testicles and parenting. I'd have to say some money is being spent on totally useless things.

Toad said...

I read the article yesterday on the testicles. I found the story quite crazy. My question would have been how they judged the sizes? I also wondered If they considered the men without testicles? I would also guess most kids don't even know what they are for, or their function? They never gave an example of size, Walnut, Golf Ball, Pee Wee marble, or what?

SER said...

This administration has done more damage to Racine than any of our criminals.

I like this statement!

Anonymous said...

The future of Racine is much more in doubt. The ongoing political machinations in City Hall don’t bode well for us. This administration has done more damage to Racine than any of our criminals. Businesses and other employers are shunning our city because of the problems. We seem to be able to attract only paid consultants. People are hurting very much. Change must come, or Racine will perish. Oh dear.

Say GOODBYE to Main Marine and Ski - 1101 N. Main ST. They have tried to sell it since August of 2011 - asking price - $1.1M.

As of the last week of August JP Morgan has taken over the property in a foreclosure of mortgage action. The inventory has been removed, the lights are out, and there is a sign on the door thanking it's customers for 46 years of business.

The City of Racine has already established that a tax-lien free property in Uptown is only worth $250.

Who will buy 1101 N.Main St. from JP Morgan and what will be the price?

Anonymous said...

OOPS!

The for sale date is actually Nov. 2012.

kkdither said...

Not to worry, folks... our governor, the next presidential candidate, will at minimum, be creating 250,000 jobs to cure our ails.... she says impudently.

I wonder if the size of your bosom has any correlation to a woman's maternal parenting capabilities? I need some grant money for further study!

BL Basketcase said...

Now when I see very interactive Dad's I will giggle to myself....
I will know they have no BALLS.

Anonymous said...

GOT BALLS?

OrbsCorbs said...

Nothing good comes from that section of my body.