Friday, June 13, 2014

A Sincere Thank You, and an Incessant Rant from a Mad Woman...

First off, I'd like to say a HUGE and sincere thank you for allowing me to take part of the JT-Irregulars blogging group.  It is an honor to be able to participate in such a diverse group of intellectual bloggers.  I welcome intelligent discussion, whether you agree or disagree, and I welcome everyone who comments, to feel free to discuss your view point, because even if we disagree, I think understanding where the other side is coming from, is the key to being able to be more of the community that we all want.  A special thank you goes to "Lizard Mom", that I met at a Rely Local luncheon at Z's, for making this special invite...

I'd like to introduce myself as Lika, a mother of a pretty good 14 year old, and the founder of a registered 401c4 nonprofit called Youth Voice Initiative (YVI).  YVI was formed, to create social change to ensure that our children are not to be viewed as "property" of the parent(s) or legal guardian(s), to hold accountable child perpetrators.  From there, will be able to influence the legal system from the law makers, to the law practitioners, to the law interpreters, so we can stiffen up on those who abuse our children.  Too often, we don't want to "get involved", when we most often need to, since childhood abuse can lead to higher rates of drug and alcohol addiction and suicide than the rest of society.  Of these, sex and psychological abuses are the worst, and the victims are either blamed or ignored, enforcing the non-involvement to further victimize the abused child or survivor of child abuse.  I blog often, and would like to invite you to my blog site as well, here on blogger, Lika's Laments to take part in discussion, as well.

Anyway, even after this, I am really concerned about these 12 year olds who stabbed the other girl, after reading and playing into this Slenderman myth, found at creepypasta.com.  What gets me, is, it doesn't seem as if the parents were even slightly concerned where on the internet these girls went.  I allowed my son, who was almost 13 at the time, to finally get a facebook account, and I had ours linked together.  I also insisted that the friends list only included people I knew, or, even if I didn't, that someone such as his grandpa (who is a pastor) could vouch for, so there is no one there to raise an eyebrow.  And yes, I have the log in information, and yes, I do spy on his account.  If he changes his password or other settings on his profile, I get an email message that this happened.  I'm his mother, and it's my job.  My husband has parental controls set up, so he can see where my son goes while he's online.  I don't care if it sounds invasive, protective, or strict.  If the other parents would have done this, they could have intervened about the stabbing.

Worse yet, didn't any of the parents, teachers, classmates, guidance counselors, etc...  notice that the behaviors of these girls were off?  No one heard them discussing the urban myth?  No one knew about the plans of these two wanting to make a sacrifice by stabbing another classmate who was supposed to be a friend?  Didn't the parents teach their kids the difference between right and wrong?  I remember taking a psychology class in high school.  I learned that little kids, at the age of 3, understand the basic differences between right and wrong.  At age 5, kids have polished up that knowledge, even when they're being brutally honest.  Being that young, they haven't learned the concept of when it is it okay to tell little white lies, such as telling someone that their outfit is too little for them, when a young woman in their 20's is dressed a bit on the skimpy side, or that it's not nice to blurt out the fact that the color you're wearing doesn't look good on you.  But, aside from that, they know that lying, hitting and stealing is bad.  Telling the truth, paying for what you want, and keeping your hands to yourself is good.  So, why didn't these12 year olds know?  It's possible that the one is mentally ill.  Yet, if you look at them, they are NOT the innocent little girls that 12 year olds ought to be.  I also think their parents should have to account for part of the girls' bad judgement, especially because of the severity of the crime.  Another little girl has a lot of therapy to go through, and it shouldn't be up to her family to have to foot the bill.  The girls' who did the stabbing and their parents should be held financially responsible.  As for the outcome of the actual stabbing case?  We shall follow the news on the court proceedings.  May justice rule.

11 comments:

OKIE said...

Welcome to our Irregular group. I read out on the Daily Mail in London that one of the girls father's joined her out on the website. I just don't understand parents today. Could he not see what was happening? They were 12 years old for God's sake. And now their lives have completely changed and certainly not for anything good.

OrbsCorbs said...

Welcome to the JTI, Lika.

I like what you're doing about child abuse.

"Lika's Laments" is in the JTI sidebar list of local sites and blogs.

I believe, unfortunately, that you and your husband are in the minority when it comes to monitoring your son's activities.

I think the "Slender Man" stabbings is an indication of a breakdown in our society. We're sick. Kids can't tell the difference from what is real and what is shown on TV, in the movies, and online.

kkdither said...

I work directly with teenagers. I feel there will be alot of information released as this case unfolds. I don't think we have enough info to begin placing blame. That will be for the psychologists, courts and the law to determine.

Yes, some children suffer from many of the same mental issues some adults suffer. I see it in our students and carry that burden of worry every day. Schools can only do so much. Resources and options are limited. Much of the time the schools are battling parents to provide the basic needs (often medication) that their children need.

Children are not the same as when we all grew up. Many have no parental guidance. The kids basically manage themselves and sometimes act as the caregivers to other children and sometimes to the patents themselves.

Society lets children down with accessibility to all kinds of age inappropriate material: sexual, drug related and extreme violence, and demonstrates behaviors most of us find totally unacceptable for what should be innocent little kids.

I'm going to wait and see the facts and the details before drawing any conclusion. I pray for them all.

Welcome to our website, Lika. I hope to continue see more thought provoking conversation from you.

drewzepmeister said...

Welcome to the JTI, Lika and thanks for the thought provoking post.

As a single dad, I try to do what's best for my kid. It's not easy when I got my ex-wife letting my kid get away with things that I wouldn't let him do. He lives with his mother and the courts won't change a thing. So what I am to do? Ground him and send him home? What would that do? Not much, I'm afraid. It makes me feel powerless sometimes. (Luckily, Tender Heart and I have found some creative ways of discipline and some have worked).

Unfortunately, my case is just another number in the growing statistics. SIGH

Beejay said...

Welcome to JTI!

You've given us a very thought provoking topic.

I don't think there is going to be an easy resolution to this situation. Twelve is certainly old enough to understand the difference between fantasy and reality. The victim will suffer with the aftermath for a long time. The two young girls found to be the perpetrators undoubtedly have some mental health issues which need to be addressed.

We will have to wait and see where this all goes. I do feel for the parents involved. I'm sure they realize that they missed some signals. Hindsight is always 20/20!

lizardmom said...

Hi Lika!! I'm glad you decided to join our family! I'm sure that sometime during the summer, we'll have some kinda of get together so you can meet most of the gang.
The situation with these girls makes me feel physically ill. It's beyond sad on every level. Our society, sadly, isn't much better. Thankfully there are still some great, solid people, but the sick ones are growing in large numbers.
Great post, and again, welcome!!!

Tender Heart Bear said...

Welcome to the JTI Lika.

I am a single mom of three kids. They are all grown up now but it was really hard for me to be there all the time for them. I did my best and yes my son who is my oldest did get into trouble and spent time in jail. His father blamed it on me not being there to tell him not to do this but I also have two girls that I was at home with too. There father did not want anything to do with the kids when he walked out on us. He didn't even want to see the kids. My youngest daughter I had to take to his place for him to spend time with her. Drew and I are trying to do what we can for his son and it is very hard with his ex wife not wanting to do the same. She lets him do what ever he wants to do at her house because she is scared of him. She has told me this more than once. But he has rules at our house and he does not like that at all.

I understand what you are saying about the girls here. I don't know if any of them are single parents. I know the one girl has both parents and the dad does watch this show with the girl. That is what he said on the news. I do believe in some way the parents should and shouldn't be responsible. If you have more than one child it is very hard to know what they are all doing all the time. I have been watching this case on the news since the beginning.

Toad said...

Lika, I will read your entire post later today, when I have a bit more time, but think I get a bit what your writing, and will certainly comment again. Welcome, and ENJOY our company.

legal stranger said...

Lika, I have read some of your writings and have commented on your site in the past......
Glad to see you have become a posting member of this site!




BL Basketcase said...

A warm welcome to you Lika! You have a good thing to
pass on and I am certain to contribute to this site, Best of luck!

Lika's Laments said...

Thank you all for a warm welcome. It is a pleasure to be able to tackle touchy subjects with other intellectuals, who also understand the issues that can concern all of us.

I truly don't understand how I got to be "old fashioned" so fast in this modern era, but, I do know that others like myself pride themselves in the fact that their kids are the ambassadors for how young people are supposed to conduct themselves. Perfect? No. Not by a long shot. But, I must admit, that I am lucky that my son is very well behaved.

It also burdens me that some divorced parents want to be more active in their kids' lives, yet can't because their hands are bound. Other custodial parents wish the other parent would be more active, yet they're not... To me, if we are divorced from the other parent, and that one WANTS to be active in their kids' lives ought to be encouraged to be as active as possible... Yet it's backwards, that those whose exes want to have involvement try to limit everything, and those who are not active with their own kids have plenty opportunity and don't take it.

I just know it takes a village, sometimes, and the more wisdom we can offer these kids, the better off they will be, as well as the future of our planet.

Thank you all again!