Signs of the Times

All artwork is property of Randy Glasbergen

Testing Bullet Proof Glass In 1952

How much do you trust your husband???

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my wild strawberries! How are you? We’re supposed to experience temperatures above freezing for the next few days. Won’t that be nice? Be sure to watch your step and wear your galoshes. A thin layer of water on ice makes it that much more slippery. I find it dreadful to have to maneuver about at this time of year. Just walking down the sidewalk can be treacherous. I am so grateful for those people who shovel their walks and driveways. Thank you for all that hard work. Salt sparingly, my friends, and don’t expect salt to melt the last three snows which haven’t been cleared.

I have been dreading this part of my blog, the part where I root on our magnificent and salient Packers. The game this past Sunday could not have been more heartbreaking. As the resplendent Packers fought back from staggering early setbacks, my chest filled with pride. The fourth quarter saw point for point battles. And then, in the final seconds, it appeared that all was lost as the Cardinals’ kicker, Mr. Rackers, approached for an easy field goal. At that exact moment, my loyalty to our beloved team overtook any sense of responsibility and I placed the Curse of Kronos on Mr. Rackers just as he kicked the ball. Of course, it shanked wide of the uprights. The Packers then had possession of the ball, with just a few seconds on the clock. I expected a Hail Mary play from our offense, which I would ably assist, and clinch the game. But no, after the snap, both sides knelt for the clock to run out and go into sudden death overtime. Why? Why would we give up possession of the ball for the toss of a coin? We had the ball, we had time to snap it and make a play. Why didn’t we? What would we have risked that we didn’t risk by going into overtime? And we would have gone into overtime, anyway, if we didn’t score. I’m sorry, I was so flabbergasted by these events that I didn’t rightly understand what was happening. I got up to get some tea. When I came back, Mr. Rodgers was being stripped of the ball. I cried and cried. My poor, poor Packers. I am so sorry.

There were no Dear John letters or eviction notices in this week’s mail.

Dear Irregulars, you know I write this blog because I want to help others. If my insights and abilities can alleviate someone’s suffering or put a worried heart at ease, then I am glad to do it and expect no reward other than the customary, nominal fee. If nothing else, I strive to be uplifting and optimistic in my outlook. I desire what is good and right for everyone. I want my blog to influence your life positively. But, I must admit, that can be difficult to do in times like these. There seems to be little good news out there. And my predictions are not particularly rosy, either. Short of putting all of Racine under a spell (I’ve thought of it many times), I don’t know what I can do to brighten your day. So I resort to amusing videos in the hope that they might distract you momentarily from whatever unpleasant tasks you may need to perform. Like this one, entitled Christmas Tree Rocketry:



In another nod to the boys’ brand of humor, here’s The Human Firecracker [Caution: Language Advisory]:



I know, so puerile, yet the laughter is contagious. My son has done that more times than I can count. And he wasn’t even drunk.

Don’t forget to forward your mailing address to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Have a wonderful week, my dears. Enjoy whatever breaks in the weather that we get. I’m already counting down the days to March. Hyperion!

Old Bugs Bunny Movie

I ran into a website which has many old cartoons to watch, this is one of Bugs bunny.

Merrie Melodies: Falling Hare

Ipod heavy rotation

This song has been played alot over the last few days on my I-pod. Once again, thanks to 88.9 Radio Milwaukee for showcasing some new independent music. Please enjoy the Great Lake Swimmers (Cool name!) and She comes To Me In Dreams:

Monday afternoon grins.....

THE ITALIAN ELBOW . .

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

'You comma to de front door of the apartamenta. I am inna apartamenta 301. There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator issa ona the right. Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3. When you get out, I'mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell.'

'Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

What . . .You coming empty handed?'

///////////////////////////////////////

>THE UNDERTAKER'S BLACK EYE

>Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.

"What happened to you?" asked his wife.

"I had a terrible day." replied Roy . "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I went up and sure enough there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."

"I see" said his wife, "but how did you get the black eye?"

Roy replied: "Wrong room !."

A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD!

Crap! I forgot what it was....

Banks Prepare for Big Bonuses, and Public Wrath

"Everyone on Wall Street is fixated on The Number.

"The bank bonus season, that annual rite of big money and bigger egos, begins in earnest this week, and it looks as if it will be one of the largest and most controversial blowouts the industry has ever seen.

"Bank executives are grappling with a question that exasperates, even infuriates, many recession-weary Americans: Just how big should their paydays be? Despite calls for restraint from Washington and a chafed public, resurgent banks are preparing to pay out bonuses that rival those of the boom years. The haul, in cash and stock, will run into many billions of dollars.

"Industry executives acknowledge that the numbers being tossed around — six-, seven- and even eight-figure sums for some chief executives and top producers — will probably stun the many Americans still hurting from the financial collapse and ensuing Great Recession."

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/business/10pay.html?scp=2&sq=bonuses&st=cse


Oink, oink, oink. Snort, snort, snort, soueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Introducing Ronald McDonald

I like this guy better.

Pencils

Sculptures are all made from pencils

Britain 'preparing to offload millions of unwanted swine flu vaccines'

"Ministers are preparing to offload millions of unwanted swine flu vaccines, it has emerged, as officials predicted that there will be no third wave of the pandemic this winter.

"Millions of pounds could be wasted if the Government is unable to get out of orders for the vaccine it has placed with GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), the pharmaceutical giant.

"Officials confirmed that they are considering a number of options, including attempting to sell or give away millions of the vaccines."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/swine-flu/6952793/Swine-flu-Ministers-preparing-to-offload-millions-of-unwanted-vaccines.html


How is it that with all the forms of communication available to us today, no one seems to know what's really going on?

A Strange Old Tool

To crazy -- Do you know what it is?

Are You Ready to Think Off?

Bloggers are a notorious bunch for thinking the world cannot possibly live without their well reasoned, insightful opinions that they put forth as if they are the most logical, reasoned, brilliant and insightful thinkers in the world. Now they have a chance to prove it.

The Great American Think-Off 2010 is just getting underway. All you have to do is write a 750 word (or less) by April 1st addressing the question, "Do the wealthy have an obligation to help the poor?" by April 1st. Four finalists will be flown (all expenses paid) to New York City for the final debate on June 12th for the title of America's Greatest Thinker.

Based on the overall quality of writing by bloggers (and especially by the insightful people who leave comments) I expect this to be a bang up, knock down, drag out contest.

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! Four for Fridays is back! Hope you guys had a good holiday! This week's questions are about TV.

1) What shows do like to watch?

2) What is your favorite show of all time?

3) What is your worst show?

4) Do you watch the news?

Enjoy your weekend folks!

Tears of a clown

This wasn't the vid I was looking for when I started searching for Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson, but it's poignant and powerful.

People of WalMart Rap

As a follow up to my previous blog about PeopleOfWalMart.Com, I present the "People of WalMart Rap:"

CAUTION: Adult Language

http://peopleofwalmart.com/

I just went there a couple of days ago. Every visit is a novel, every encounter a short story. I've started talking loudly to myself while shopping there. It keeps away most of the whackos.

WOLF, IT'S THE WOLF!!!!

Oh god, please save me, it's the wolf! We're all agonna DIE!!! Where the hell is all the snow?

The Power of Hubble......

The Power of Hubble......

While looking at a post by Hale-Bopp I thought I would connect to the Hubble telescope using a little PFM (pure firkin magic) and my computer.

While looking around I thought I saw something moving inside the circle. So I zoomed in some more.

And to my amazement, there was a little spaceship!

I had to go for it, so I zoomed in even more.

And dang if it wasn’t Hale-Bopp cruise’in the stars!

All pictures posted without owners permission.

I got one stuck in my head and cannot sleep

These two song where done by Brenton Wood:

Brenton Wood (born Alfred Jesse Smith; July 26, 1941) is an American singer and songwriter, best known for his two 1967 hit singles: "The Oogum Boogum Song" and "Gimme Little Sign".

Mottos

A friend of mine has a great saying posted:

NEVER TROUBLE TROUBLE TIL TROUBLE TROUBLES YOU.

Anyone have any favorites??

Pumpernickel bread

The other day, I bought some pumpernickel bread...got to thinking about the origin of the word 'pumpernickel.' Ran a search on the internet and found the direct translation to be: SATAN'S GAS

Pumper=flatulence
Nickel= Satan

Now isn't that curious??? Apparently, the original bread made folks incur flatulence.

What kind of useless information do you have stored in your brain???
Let's see what you can come up with.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my cherished Chiclets®! How are you? Ready for another plunge into Wisconsin’s winter wonderland? As of this writing, the National Weather Service is calling for a little snow tonight, but 5 to 11 inches tomorrow. Of course, then it’s supposed to get very windy, and then very cold. They say the lake will probably bless us with more snow than those to the west. Well, you don’t live here if you expect tropical breezes in January. I know that some people take frigid dips in lakes for various good causes on New Year’s Day, but I suspect that most of them will be warmly dressed and behind snow blowers or putting their backs to shovels over the next couple of days.

Of course, our tremendous and ecstatic Packers won the game against Arizona. Just like they will this Sunday. Same time, same channel. 1st string, 2nd string, whatever, it doesn’t matter; the Green and Gold will leave the Cardinals in tatters. Look for an exceptionally exciting second half this week, my friends. A little bird told me that special things will happen.

There were no epiphanies or profanities amongst this week’s communiqués.

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since the holidays ended. This always happens. All that hoopla and fuss and stress leading up to the holidays, and then afterwards, the bleak prospect of months more of winter. One of my favorite remedies for winter depression is old comedy movies. Most of you don’t know this, but I’m a Marx Brothers fan. Those silly men and their crazy antics keep me giggling and guffawing. I highly recommend a comedy to combat the blues. You can borrow films from the Racine Public Library for free. You can’t get a better deal than that.

In honor of my comic heroes, I’m going to spotlight a few of their films. First is the famous contract scene from A Night at the Opera:



Next is the renowned mirror sequence from Duck Soup:



Finally, the password scene from Horse Feathers:



Thank you my dear, dear friends for reading my blog. If you have the winter blues, I hope that the Marx Brothers, or someone else, can brighten your day for awhile. You know, that is what we literally need at this time of year: day brightening. We’re fortunate to be alive in an era when so many technological advances exist to protect and distract us from the elements. Or are we?

Please forward your last will and testament to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Don’t forget Downtown Racine Carves Its Niche this Saturday, January 9, 10 am to 3 pm, featuring ice carvers and their sculptures at various locations in beautiful downtown Racine. At 3 pm, the sculptures will be judged by the glamorous and sophisticated Teresa Dickert, wife of Racine's notorious Mayor John Dickert.

Bundle up for the days ahead, my Irregulars. Take time to take care of yourselves. Read a book. Catch a movie. Watch a play. Swordfish!

The Kepler Five

Or at least the first five. The Kepler Space Telescope today announced its first five extrasolar planet discoveries at the American Astronomical Society meeting in Washington, DC. Kepler was launched March 6th, 2009 with the goal of finding Earth like planets orbiting other stars.

These first five planets, named 4b, 5b. 6b. 7b, and 8b (they skipped 1-3 since the first three detections were previously known planets that happened to be in Kepler's field of view) are not very Earth like. The smallest is about the size of Neptune and the largest are bigger than Jupiter. They all orbit very close to their stars with periods on the order of days. Their temperatures can be as high as a couple of thousand degrees Fahrenheit.

Since these planets pass in front of the stars, we can measure their diameters. Follow up measurements can give us their masses so we can find the densities of these planets. The most extreme world, Kepler 7b, has the density of styrofoam...for the entire planet!

It shouldn't surprise us that these are the types of planets Kepler finds first. It is easy to find big planets that orbit close to their stars. Finding planets that orbit farther from the star takes longer simply because they don't pass in front of the star nearly as often. As time goes on, Kepler will find more planets with lower masses, that orbit farther from their stars, and are more Earth like.

There are hundreds of signals Kepler has to follow up and see if they are planets or something else. The good news is that it is working well and that in a few years we will be one step closer to finding out how common planets like ours are.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

The History of the Universe According to Hubble

Here at the American Astronomical Society meeting in DC today, they unveiled a spectacular new Hubble image. Check this out.

Click to embiggen or go and download the really high res image. For even more fun, check out the zoomable version. This image was produced by a combination of two cameras on Hubble: The Advanced Camera for Surveys and the Wide Field Camera 3 (which was just installed earlier this year). Combining the different abilities of the two cameras lets you see more objects that cover a wider range of wavelengths.

This image represents a LOT of Hubble time...over 100 orbits of staring at the same little speck of sky. The payoff is getting this image of over 7500 galaxies dating back to the dawn of the Universe. At this point, we don't even talk distance anymore since the farthest we can see is 13.some billion light years. We have to talk about how much the light was redshifted. Look for the tiniest bits of red...those are the most distant galaxies. In this case, they are literally redshifted.

So much great stuff is happening at this meeting...wish I had more time to see it all and write about it!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Tin Foil Hat time

Guy tried to blow up plane in Detroit on Christmas . Airport in Newwark shut down Sunday after someone bypasses secutity. Now today, plane down in Chicago, Airport evacuated in Minnesota. Airport in CA closed with two TSA agents taken away ion abmulances. Something wierd is going on. Feelings? Thoughts?

THE SOUND OF MUSIC

This stunt was created with just two secret rehearsals!
The video was made in Antwerp Central Station on the 23rd of March 2009 with no warning to the poor passengers passing through the station.
At 08:00 am a recording of Julie Andrews singing 'Do, Re, Mi' begins to play on the public address system and as the bemused passengers watch in total amazement,
over 200 dancers begin to appear from the crowd and various station entrances.
Remember - they created this amazing stunt with just two secret rehearsals!

Dementia - short and sweet...

Woman Accused of Supplying Children Alcohol at Birthday Party

"West Bend - A 35-year-old Kewaskum mother is accused of serving champagne and Mike's Hard Lemonade to 10 children - ages 11 to 14 - attending a birthday party for her 12-year-old daughter at a West Bend hotel."

http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/80709842.html


Party on!

Cant get this one out of my head

Im having a ton of fun with my new ipod (Thanks Mrs Wacko!) and filling it up with tons of old (Zepplin) and new (Bon Iver). But mixed in between is this little gem from The Verve (Best known for Bittersweet Symphony) called Lucky Man. Thanks to 88.9Radio Milwaukee for reminding me how good this one is. Enjoy!

New Years +4

How many times this new year, have you written '09 verses '10?

Sitting here I just realized I did it at the hospital today...dang, that’s 1 for me!

Las Vegas Churches

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED. SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS..

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

Note: this posting credit need to be applied to the girls. It was posted by SER for Beejay.

The hearing impaired

For a change, I'm going to do a serious post.

As you may or may not know, I wear two hearing aids and have for about three years now....I have tinnitus...a buzzing, hissing sound that causes you to not be able to hear conversation clearly. I am not shy about them, nor do I try to conceal the fact that I have a hearing loss. HOWEVER, I am a bit taken aback by the reaction from STUPID people. A hearing loss is a disability...a serious disability. My right ear has a 28% hearing loss, which is unheard of (excuse the pun) at my age.

When I was first diagnosed with this problem, I mentioned it to a fellow sitting to my right that I had a problem hearing him...he made fun of me...'huh---duh what...' Not funny...but what really hurt was when my nephew who has dyslexia, both audio and visually, made fun of me...and wouldn't stop...this is a 40 year old man.

Do people dismiss a hearing loss as a 'not real' disability??? I would never dream of making fun of the fact that it takes him six times as long to read something as it does me...nor will I remind him who helped him when he was a little guy with reading....

The guy in my life told me not to worry about it, he has great hearing and he will hear for both of us. And, yes, he is a gem...but a few weeks ago, I was trying to help out at his store and couldn't hear because someone had turned up the radio behind me. I don't think anyone did this intentionally, but I had a problem asking that it be lowered. It is embarrassing to me. When I say couldn't hear, I mean I couldn't make out what they were saying, just that I did know they were saying something!

People have no patience for someone with a hearing loss...like you think this is voluntary????

My line to folks has been, 'don't whisper sweet nothings in my right ear, cuz that's exactly what they will be 'SWEET NOTHINGS!'

I go for another hearing test on Wednesday to see why my hearing aids are not doing the job I want them to do....nothing will bring back the hearing I have lost, but if I could get rid the tinnitus, then the aids would improve my ability to hear immensely. A dream, I'm sure.....

A lot of you know me personally (well, okay, most of you do...duh) and know that I love music and love to dance and have fun...picture me in a bar with the music going...yeah, I can hear the music, but I can't hear you at all.....I want it all!!!!

Polar plunge for the Veterans

Unfortunately, I never made it down to the lake this year to see the Splash and Dash in Racine, I did heard they had another great turn out!

BUT a friend and I did make it out to Eagle Lake to Eagle Lake Inn on the Lake where they held their 3rd Annual Polar Plunge for the Veterans.

The event drew crowds of people and (guessing) there had to be around 15 to 20 brave soles to take the challenge of plunging in to the icy cold water. Guessing again, the hole in the ice had to be 10’ x 8’. Jumpers entered on one end, made their way through the slushy ice water and where helped out on the opposite end. Their team members were laughing, but standing by with towels and blankets in hand.

Although I took many pictures, I have posted a few for your viewing pleasure.

......SER

Monday Afternoon Grin

Italian Firemen

One dark night in the small town of Garfield, NJ, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant. They have to be saved, so I will donate $50,000 to the fire company that brings them out and delivers them to me."

But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in because the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer to extricate the secret recipes was now $100,000 to the fire department that could save them.

Suddenly from up the road, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the fire engine of the nearby Lodi , NJ volunteer fire department composed mainly of Italian firefighters over the age of 65.

To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Italian firefighters, passed the fire engines parked outside the plant and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside, the other firefighters watched in amazement as the Italian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire as if they were fighting to save their own lives. Within a short time, the Lodi old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret recipes.

The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman accomplishment he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave elderly Italian firefighters.

A TV news crew rushed in after capturing the event on film. The 'on camera' reporter asked the Italian fire chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Wella," said Chief Pasquale De Luccinellavanti, the70-year-old fire chief, "de fursta tinga we gonna do isza fixa de brakes on dat truck!!"

World's Shortest Holdup

Goodbye 2009, Welcome 2010

With the passing of 2009, we say goodbye to the International Year of Astronomy (although the closing ceremony is in Italy in a couple of weeks) and the Year of Science. Hope you observed the Year of the Gorilla and the International Year of Natural Fibers.

With 2010, we welcome the International Year of Biodiversity, the International Year of the Nurse, the International Year for the Reapproachment of Cultures, and the International Year of Communication (which, ironically, I have been unable to find a website for it but there are many references to it if you google it).

Sounds like a party year to me!

Irregular Christmas Party!!

It is officially on the calendar below.

Saturday, January 30th,
4:30 pm

Same location as last year.

POTLUCK style.
Soup will literally be served,
build from there.

Questions/RSVP/Etc.
send email to me at

lizardmom@wi.rr.com

Hope you can make it!!!

PS: details will be emailed to those that RSVP

... and the award goes to......

In an impressive show-down between
the guys and the gals,

THE BOYS take the trophy this month.

The girls did an amazing job of giving
them a good run for their money,

with a tally of 62 to 68,
it was a great month!!!

Back to an individual challenge for most posts,
get your typing fingers ready -

POST!!!

Unfriending 2010's Banished Words

Lake Superior State University has been publishing a list of words that should be banished for "Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness" every New Year's since 1975. As you can imagine, lots of these words are political, but many cover social and tech trends as well.

This years list includes the aforementioned unfriend (and friend...basically any use of friend as a verb), Czar, Tweet, Teachable Moment (I wanted that one gone a long time ago!), and any use of Obama as a prefix of root.

If there is a word you think that should be banished, don't go ballistic (1993), there is a definite possibility (1993) they may have beat you to the punch so don't feel disenfranchised (2002). Bipartisanship had a bit of a comeback early in the year when Obama wanted to work across the aisle, but that word was already banished in 2002. i-Anything made the list in 2007. The complete list is full of interesting factoids (2001).

For sure (1981) check out the list...for the children (2000). It's a great source of infotainment (1986, 1989). After all, it's that time of year again (2009).