Open Blog - Weekend

Oh, the colors!

Four for Fridays!

Hello everyone I hope all of you were able to enjoy the nice weather we had this week. Now it is the cold weather and more rain again. I am hoping we can get the warm weather back I was enjoying having the windows open. Here are your questions.

1) When was the last time you went to a festival or carnival?

2) Did you go to the festival or carnival for the rides or music?

3) If you went for the music who was the last band you went to see?

4) If you went for the rides what is your favorite ride?

Have a great weekend.

Open Blog - Fridaay

You've lost almost all of your clothing since Tuesday. Good job.

"5 Most Badass People Of All Time"

Open Blog - Thursday

Whoa! It looked like you disappeared for a minute, Betty.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hi, mom and dad, little sister and little brother!  It's time once again for that fabulous blog, "Dear Madame Zoltar," the blog that asks the musical question, "Who let the dogs out?" 

We've been experiencing some wonderful weather.  It's actually in the 80's.  Yesterday, too.  Unfortunately, more rain is in the forecast.  Farmers can't get out into their fields to plant.  Why not use drones to plant the seeds?  These wild swings in weather are blamed on climate change.  We've just begun to experience that.  Give it a few more years.  I predict that things are going to get real crazy.

As I write this, the children from the school next door are out screaming.  It starts at 10 AM and continues to 4 or so.  For recess, all the children seem to do is scream and scream and scream.  Are they ever in class? Earlier today, a lot of the kids were yelling, "Woo!"  So I started to yell it back through my window.  That was fun.

Last night, Mr. lying John gave his last state of the city speech, and then got teary-eyed as he talked about the felons he calls friends.  Please, Mr. lying John, stop with the formalities and just get the hell out of office.  NOW!  We've been raped almost constantly since this pig made it to office and we'll need some time to heal.  Heck, maybe I'll run for mayor.  I couldn't do worse than the criminals we now have in office.  If elected, I promise a roundabout at every intersection.

I'd also get rid of the City Administrator position.  What an inglorious waste of over $100K every year.  If Mr. Tom Freidel had an ethical bone in his body, he'd return half of his pay.  Ack-ptoo!  I get very worked up when talking about the thieves that have destroyed Racine.  Every last one of those pigs should be proscuted to the fullrst extent of the law.  Of course, when your City Attorney is part of the problem, it's difficult to see daylight.

Well, Junior has continued to drive Señor Zanza's car with no apparent problem, except he can't afford much gasoline.  Too bad.  Get a part-time job, Junior, and start living like an adult.  Junior lnows that Señor Zanza is a soft touch as opposed to me.  So he constantly asks to borow his car instead of mine. He already knows the answer I'll give him.

Thank you for reading my blog this week.  I love you all and wish you the best.  Better keep a jacket in the car until we know for sure that winter is done.

Direct your inquiries to  madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com
 
Watch out for kids playing in the street.  That's where all my boyfriends played baseball.  If you encounter a "boom car," be sure to give him the finger for me.  When one of thoose is stopped at a light, I like to sidle up next to him, put on some Rammstein full blast, and then lower my windows.They give me dirty looks.  How dare I interrupot their atempt to inflict themselves on others?  Ha-ha! Enjoy.

__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday

I'm smiling, I'm smiling.

"Six-Feet Sleep"

From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek

 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I just got the info that Powers Boothe (“Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones,” Con Air, Sin City, The Avengers, “Deadwood,” etc.) the deeply magnificent TV, movie, actor’s actor from out of Texas, has passed. Age 68. Died in his sleep. “Natural causes,” they report. Hey, put me down for one of those: Age 68. Natural causes. Died in his sleep. Count me in, what the fock. (Which reminds me that, at my age, I really need to get more sleep. Put that on my bucket list.)

Yes sir, natural is the way to go in each and every way, I hear. Jeez louise, every other goddamn TV ad begs you to buy this or that ’cause it’s “natural”; so this or that has just got to be gosh darn good for you ’cause it’s “natural,” you bet. No artificial substitute, please, like cancer, bus runover, gunshot. Got to be natural.

And I figure that dying in or during your sleep, of natural causes, is also a financially sound way to bid adieu—to say “aloha, all” before a boatload of MRIs, PET scans, CAT scans, X-rays, chemotherapy, lying in a ho$pital bed puking sick for weeks, sends you to bankruptcy and the poor house from the bills from the crappy or nonexistent health insurance bullshit. Yeah, I’ll take the “natural” croak in my sleep—cuts costs, I figure. Ha! Take that, you focking HMOs.

Cripes, just this morning I heard some knobshine on the radio gasbagging ’bout the skyrocket costs for the health care, and that if all the people took more of what-you-call the preventative measures, these costs could enjoy a bit of shrinkage. That’s just got to be good news for the uninsured, ain’a? Take your preventative measures—that way if you get good and honking sick, it might only cost you one billion focking bucks instead of two for christ sakes.

And speaking of shrinkage and healthcare, I’m reminded of a little story (Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House of Reprehensitives, I hope you’re reading):

So this American tourist goes on a trip to China, where he got pretty frisky with the ladies. A week after he came back home to the greatest country on Earth, he awoke one morning to find his manhood privates covered with bright green and purple spots. Perplexed, he went to see his doctor.

The doctor, never having seen such a thing, ordered a bunch of tests and told the guy to come back in two days for the results. Two days later he returns and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you, sir. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare, almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”

Our randy tourist is a bit relieved and says, “Well, give me a shot, a pill, and fix me up, doc.” And the doctor says, “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate.” In shock, the guy says, “That can’t be focking possible. I need a second opinion!”

So the next day, the guy seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring it’s a disease from his neck of the woods and he should have experience treating it. The Chinese doctor examines him and says, “Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Rare disease.” The guy says to the doctor, “I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to amputate!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “American doctors always want to operate. Lotta money for them that way. No need to operate.”

The guy breathes a sigh of relief as the Chinese doctor continues, “Yes, no need to operate. Wait two weeks and it will fall off all by itself.” Ba-ding!

Anyways, I got to run. Time to slap together some kind of résumé for that honcho FBI job opening. If our Milwaukee County Sheriff’s name can be bandied about to be our nation’s top dick, I don’t see why my name can’t also. Besides, I look snazzier in my signature headgear than he does his, what the fock.

And I can’t forget to thank my constant reader Ingrid Mae for her so-much appreciated support and benefactoring, you betcha.

And cripes, where does the time go I ask, ’cause I also better not forget to hone my annual commencement address to our newest batch o’ graduates who’ve been painstakingly educated to the point they couldn’t find their butt on a map even if they were focking sitting on it. America: We’re No. 1! Want some fries with that?

(Reminder: Fifty bucks and a case of ice-cold bottled beer is my standard fee for addressing whatever kind of group you got needs addressing.)

And in regard to what I can possibly say concerning the golden future that awaits our commencers just beyond the pale, what I got so far address-wise is, “There’s no business like show business, so get a focking job”—which is just as far as I got last year, so what the fock, guess I’m finished, time for a little shuteye ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek, and I told you so.

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-29764-six-feet-sleep.html

"Coroner: South Carolina teen died from drinking too much caffeine"

USA Today Network Teddy Kulmala and Cynthia Roldán, The Anderson (S.C.) Independent-Mail Published 5:35 a.m. ET May 16, 2017 | Updated 2 hours ago

 

"ANDERSON, S.C. — A 16-year-old Spring Hill High School student who collapsed in a classroom last month died from ingesting too much caffeine, the county coroner said Monday.

"The official cause of death for Davis Allen Cripe was a 'caffeine-induced cardiac event causing a probable arrhythmia,' said Richland County Coroner Gary Watts. It was the result of the teen ingesting the caffeine from a large Diet Mountain Dew, a cafe latte from McDonald’s and an energy drink over the course of about two hours, Watts said."

Read more: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/05/16/coroner-south-carolina-teen-died-too-much-caffeine/101739718/

"North Korea May Be Linked To WannaCry Ransomware, Researchers Say"

May 16, 20177:59 AM ET

Bill Chappell

Twitter 

 

A hacking group linked to North Korea has used code that's identical to some of the malware used in the WannaCry attack, security researchers say. Here, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un is seen visiting a factory, in an image released from North Korea's official news agency.

AFP/Getty Images

 

"The WannaCry ransomware that attacked computers in 150 countries has lines of code that are identical to work by hackers known as the Lazarus Group, according to security experts. The Lazarus hackers have been linked to North Korea, raising suspicions that the nation could be responsible for the attack.

"The connection was made by Google security researcher Neel Mehta, who pointed out similarities between WannaCry and malware used by Lazarus, the group that has been blamed for the Sony Pictures hack of 2014 and for stealing millions of dollars from a Bangladeshi bank in 2016.

"After Mehta highlighted the elements in the code, other researchers confirmed similarities that early versions of WannaCry — also called WannaCrypt, Wana Decryptor or WCry — shared with malware tools used by Lazarus."

Read more: http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/05/16/528587064/north-korea-may-be-linked-to-wannacry-ransomware-researchers-say 


When the hell is Trump going to squash this bug?  Again, drop one of those mother of all bombs on  Pyongyang.  If they attempt to retaliate, destroy them, and unite the Koreas again.  I'll bet the majority of North Koreans will be shocked to learn the truth.

Take this clown off of the world stage.

Birds

Last Friday Drew and I went to Horicon Marsh in Lomira Wi. We left very early in the morning we seen a lot of birds and water fowl. We may go back up there this weekend to see if we can find more birds and water fowl. Here are some pictures from are adventure this past Friday.

                                                        This is a Black Necked Stilt!

                                                 This is a Black Crowned Night Heron!

                                                           This is a Blue Headed Vireo!

                                                      This is a Blue Winged Warbler!

                                                   This is Sandhill Cranes with Chicks!

                                                            This is Trumpeter Swans!

I hope everyone enjoys the pictures and there will be more to come. I don't know when I will get more posted but I am trying to keep up with all of it.

Open Blog - Tuesday

His left shoelace is untied.

Open Blog - Monday

You fight it, Snoopy, while I go back to bed.

"When men got bored"

From: http://knuckledraggin.com/2017/05/when-men-got-bored/


Cool!  I want one.  Just for short trips to the nearby grocery and so.

Mother's Day

Thank you, Mom, for the good things you did.

Open Blog - Weekend

Thanks, honey.

Un-fucking-believable

A little while sgo, a guy called from TWC to ask if anyone feom TWC has ever reached out to me.  "No," I said.  So he apologizes for that and said he's a representative of TWC who will stay on my case until it's  resolved permanently.  He gave me his number to call if I needed to.  It has a Madison area code.  He kept repeating that he will stay with the case until it's resolved.  I told him I had a tech coming out tomorrow.  "Good," he said.  "I'll have him report directly to me.  Whatever the problem is, we're going to fix it.  I promise you that."

I thanked and thanked him.

You would not believe the war  that I"ve been having with Spectrum/TWC.  First off,  I don't exist when either system is checked for me.  Then why do I have to pay?  Or can I pay with non-evistent money?

I don't want to read too much into this.  I've been raped and lied to by TWC so many times before.

We'll see, we'll see.

     *          *          *          *           *

A technician arrived this morning and started performing all sorts of tests.  Pretty soon his supervisor showed up.  The technician then gave a long laundry list of everything that is wrong with my computer (and tablet) and said most of it couldn't be corrected, but he would try.  That's when I stopped them and threw them out. The service guy kept saying it was impossible for Windows XP to receive 70 Mbps.  I told him I received it for months, Until Spectrum took over.  They set up all the reasons they're gonna fail and then they want to go at it.  Not on my computer.  Would you let a mechanic work on your car if he first gave you a long list of why he's going to fail?  I don't know what I'm going to do at this point.

Btw, there's 2 Spectrums out there. There's the one that merged with Charter and TWC, and there's the one that stands alone.  Go to Spectrum.com.  Call one of the numbers and ask a question about your account.  You'll be told that they don't have your account and you should call the old Time Warner Cable number.  When you call them, they insist that they're Spectrum.

Would you let a guy work on your car if he couldn't even find it?  What horseshit.

Interestingly, my download speed has been in the 70's since they left.

     *          *          *          *           *

I called TWC this afternoon because I've been having trouble with my email.  The guy fixed it almost instantly.  I told him about my troubles with Spectrum.  He said, "Did they tell you your operating system is too old?"  "Yeah," I said.  He said he has XP running on a computer at home at it's doing just fine.  More smoke and mirrors from the elite.  They will do everything but fix the problem.  Offers to maybe fix the problem but more likely to do more damage don't count.

Four for Fridays!

Good Morning everyone I hope you had enjoyed your week. I have been busy this week getting things ready to move my daughter into another dorm she has a job on campus for the summer and Monday we have to get her moved again. Here are your questions.

1) Do you like seeing the flowers and the trees with flowers starting to bloom in the Spring?

2) Do you like to hear the different birds singing as they migrate in the Spring?

3) What is your favorite flower to look for in the Spring?

4) What is your favorite bird to look for in the Spring?

Have a great weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Sometimes it feels like two weeks.

10 Amazing Things You Didn't Know About Your Body

Open Blog - Thursday

Hi, Minnie and Mickey!

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, peoples!  How are you?  It looks ike it will be another beautiful day out there, with a chance of rain.  The sun is beating down now and I love the warmth. Spring is bursting out all over. This is a wonderful time of year.

Again, Junior and Señor Zanza want to clean up the yard, but they can't because it's too wet. The mud that they dragged into the house on their shoes last time was a mess.  We can wait.  The farmers can't.  It's going to be a tough year for them.  Heck, every year is tough for a farmer.  You must really love the land in order to be a good farmer.

And I love you, my dear readers.  Together we can ride the Titanic that the city has become.  Mayor Liar is leaving us.  WTF?  Isn't the captain supposed to go down with the ship?  He has stirred up some hornets' nests and thrown around our money to his friends like crazy.  The corruption in Racine city government is thorough.  I say we just change the lock on the mayor's office door and set about to get rid of his friends from our government.  Many have already left, taking their golden parachutes with them.  I hope that all the rest drop dead.  These bastards stole millions of dollars from us, and nothing will ever be done about it.  Racine must have the word "stupid" emblazoned on every map.  C'mon down and grab all the gold that you can carry.  Become friends with Mayor Liar and make much, much more.

I'm sure I sound like a broken record with my anti-Dickert rants.  But the man has stolen not only millions of our dollars, he has destroyed morale at City Hall, where they haven't seen a raise in years.  But newcomers who are friends of Mayor Liar start to see an income flow in little time.

So, just leave already, Mayor Liar.  We can't afford to wait around wondering when you'll abscond with the rest of our money.  My dearest hope for Mayor Liar is that someone takes him out.  He has made a laughingstock of Racine and simply cannot tell the truth.  Please, please, Mr. Mayor Liar leave your office NOW.  He must enjoy keeping us out of the loop while making outrageous claims.  Machinery Row and the proposed arena will finish us off.  We'll be paying for Dickert's thievery for decades.  A pig with a tie - that's Mayor Liar.

Well, thank you dears for reading my blog today.  The more readers, the merrier.  I love you all.
 
Have a problem?.  Of course you do.  Contact madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Enjoy he weather, Irregulars.  Soon we'l be bitching about how hot it is.
  __________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you.

Open Blog - Wednesday

Have a wonderful week.

"Shutdown of Guaranty Bank questioned"

Paul Gores , Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Published 5:00 a.m. CT May 9, 2017 | Updated 2 hours ago

"New investors were on the verge of pumping $100 million into Guaranty Bank, a prospect that should have stopped federal regulators from shutting the Glendale-based institution last week, an investment banker who was working with the investors said Monday.

"Steven D. Hovde, chief executive of Chicago-based Hovde Group, said the U.S. Office of the Comptroller of the Currency 'pulled the rug out' from Guaranty Bank when it suddenly closed it down Friday night.

"RELATED:Feds close Guaranty Bank; to reopen as First Citizens

"Hovde, who is widely known in Wisconsin and elsewhere for helping banks raise capital, said the feds knew that a recapitalization of about $100 million was in the works and might have been completed by the end of June. The money could have restored the bank's capital to levels acceptable to regulators.

"In addition, Hovde said, Guaranty was improving financially and had cleaned up many of the problems stemming from loans that started going bad during the Great Recession.

"'There is no reason that bank should have been grabbed this past Friday, no reason at all,' Hovde said, calling it 'a horrendous case of government overreach plain and simple.'"

Read more:  http://www.jsonline.com/story/money/business/2017/05/09/shutdown-guaranty-bank-questioned/101443230/

Open Blog - Tuesday

The same to you, dear Betty.

Spring Flowering Trees

The following  two shots are of my favorite spring flowering tree: Eastern Redbud. Redbud is only marginally hardy here.If you decide on Redbud, make sure you're getting a winter-hardy species.

PS -Cara Spoto of the Journal Times is getting in on the act, too.  Below is her picture from the front page of the Journal Times site.

http://journaltimes.com/business/local/police-called-to-former-guaranty-bank-after-threat-is-reported/article_12389e36-2321-5705-aa6a-cb0747fa5b91.html

FUCK SPECTRUM!!!

Open Blog - Monday

She hasn't met me yet.

I Fired My Shrink

First off, it was a hell of a drive to see a physician.  Just off of Hwy.50 and I-94 in Kenosha. Second, he rarely met my eyes, usually talking to a computer screen and typing.  He would constantly pick at his beard and even pick his nose. Third or fourth, his "therapy" for me was to constantly repeat that I"m a nice guy and I should get out more.  Fifth (and this is a big one), he knew nothing of alcoholism  Every time we met, he asked me if I had cravings for booze.  I'd try to explain to him that I've been sober for 24 years and the only time I thought of booze was when he brought it up.

The only reason I got together with this guy is that my old shrink recommended him.  Turns out she's never met him; only heard about him.  I'll look around for another shrink but I don't expect much.  I called Ascension the other day looking for a shrink.They told me that their shrinks no longer accept Medicare and supplemental insurance.  Bullshit.  The shrinks get paid the same no matter what. Obviously, the business office has decided to take advantage of the severe shortage of shrinks in Racine.  Bastards. Making money off of the suffering of others.

I can get my primary care doctor to prescribe all of the psych meds for me.  We've done this before.  How much you wanna bet that with the proper credentials, I could pretend to be a shrink? Hell, I'm beginning to think I could fake being a nephrologist, too.  He's now taking orders from me because he can't figure it out on his own.  Last time I was there, he said, "I'll see you in six months." He looked at me and I was shaking my head.  "Three months?' he asked.  "OK," I said.  I don't particularly want to see him, but I want test results.

If you have a good doctor, hang onto him or her as long as you can.  I suspect the majority of MDs are pigs.  If I croak, it's no big deal to my doctors because they have plenty of other patients.  When I asked my nephrologist if he had told his other patients on Nexium about my experience,  he said, "No, I'm not going to mess with someone's drug schedule if they're doing alright.  You're the first patient I've had with this Nexium problem."  Or maybe I'm the thousandth.  My numbers dropped., and I suggested Nexium was at fault.  He didn't do shit.  So who knows how many patients of his have croaked when switching from Nexium might have helped.  Nexium probably gives the kidney doctors a nice vacation in the Caribbean for keeping thier mouths shut.

I trust no MDs.  None.  If you start asking questions and they start retreating, you probably have a liar/loser for an MD.  I've had plenty.

Don't Post Here

Open Blog - Weekend

Or else.

Four for Fridays!

I can not believe how quick this week has gone by already. I hope everyone has survived all the rain we have been getting. Here are your questions for this week.

1) What is your favorite color?

2) How did you come to have that color as your favorite?

3) Do you have a second choice for a favorite color?

4) What do you have with that color?

Have a great weekend!

Open Blog - Friday

Yahoo! Get drunk on some tequila and puke your brains out..

The Kent State Tragedy Occurred 47 Years Ago Today

"Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
Four dead in Ohio, . . ."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GXtQfXBAmM

"Free Parking on Street"

Join me this Saturday View this email in your browser May 6, 2017 Saturday afternoon at 2:30 The Lord Jesus spoke to me "He wants to release more Prophet's blessings into your life". We are coming to Release the Prophet's Blessings into Your Life... Healings,  Miracles, Financial Breakthroughs Blessings, Blessings, Blessings, I also have a very special Prophetic Message to Release Heaven's Best into Your Life. Don't miss this Great Church Service!    LOCATION  Los Angeles Area Courtyard by Marriott 6333 Bristol Pkwy Culver City, CA 90230                                                           Faith, Hope, Help and Love                   Pastors Robert and Maria Tilton Support the Ministry Forward Copyright © 2015 Word Of Faith World Outreach Center Church, All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: PO Box 22066 Tulsa, OK 74121 partnerrelations@admgc.com Want to change how you receive these emails? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list

"Shocking Before-And-After Drug Use Photos"

Open Blog - Thursday

Only one more day till the end of the workweek.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Glub glub glub.  Glub glub glub glub.   GLUB!  There, I finally managed to overcome the riptide.  It's a little 'damp' outdoors, so take your galoshes.You know, this still doesn't mean a cool and wet summer.  Or a cool and wet fall.  I love Wisconsin weather.  It's like playing the lottery for free.

Btw, someone just won the Wisconsin Megabucks lottery.  Bought the ticket at a liquor store.  It's for over a million dollars.  That will buy a lot of booze.

Have you noticed that the Journal Times site is getting more crowded than ever with ads?  Some of the stories are almost unreadable.

It's done nothing but get worse with age.It's almost as if the Board of Directors spend time discussing great content and investigative reporting.  Then they do a 180 on the stories and reporting. It's like a death wish.  How low will Lee Enterprises allow them to swing?

How low can Mr. Mayor Sir Godamnit go?  I have an image of him sneaking out into the night to steal all of Racine's money that he can and then running off to his new job.  I'm sure Ms. Connolay has configured some sort of kickback for him.

You know, if you can pull back and look at the larger picture, Racine's actions read like a crappy drugstore novel.  Or worse.  I'm ashamed to say where I live anymore.  I live in the lawlessness that is Racine.

On the home front, Junior still wants his own car and our reply is still "get a job and buy one."  That usually shuts him up.  Where is it written that every parent is required to supply their child with a car?  I love Junior with all of my heart, but he's getting a little heavy to be carried around.

Well, gang, I love each and every one of you.  You never cause me any problems.  Imagine a family like that.  I can't.  Thank you for stopping by today and giving my blog a glance.

Don't forget, you can always ask madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com

Watch the weather ball bounce this week.  It's nuts.
__________________________
Please donate: paypal.me/jgmazelis
If you don't like PayPal, send me a note at madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com and I'll send you my street address so you can send a check or money order.  Thank you. 

Open Blog - Wednesday

I was once married to someone who could write like that backwards and upside down.

"The Alt-Write Stuff"

From The Shepherd Express:

By Art Kumbalek

1 hour ago

 

 

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I hear that the orange circus peanut we call president of the United States passed up having dinner with a bunch of guys and gals who write about politics for a living so he could hold a pally rally at a shovel factory in the Keystone State. You think it might be the same factory from where he got the shovel he uses to fling his 24/7 bullshit, what the fock?

Some people wonder if our snake oil swindling Svengali knows anything about history. I wonder, too; although, I do not wonder that he has certainly boned up on 1920s-’30s Il Duce Mussolini, moltissimo, bene moltissimo.

Anyways, I can’t pony up much of an essay for you’s this week on account that the other day I finally declared my declaration to be your next governor; since so far seems that no Democrats have the chutzpah to take a run at our incumbent Gov. Snidely Whiplash, for christ sakes. So I’ve got a full focking platter what with the hobnobbing to do for some campaign dough on account that currently my war chest amounts to about a buck two-eighty plus a dollar-off coupon for dry cleaning from a joint that’s gone out of business, I kid you not.

But as your next guv, I vow to shovel tons of money to the public schools, which they desperately need and hanker for. My will to do this was steeled when I stumbled upon one of those back-page slow-news-day bullshit stories about some kind of Education Department report reporting that many of our American school-age rocket scientists “are unable to write effectively” and have “trouble making their point in writing.” Should I care? Hey, anybody wonder if maybe these kids didn’t have a focking “point” to make in the first place, for crying out loud?

And even if they did, who cares? This report I read seemed to be most bugged by the notion that our future Einsteins were deficient up-the-jock-and-back “in the ability to write persuasively.” Now, that is a tough tittie ’cause from what other source but our young people are we to go for informative and convincing reportage on topics like, “Who’s More Bitching: Xbox One S or Nintendo Switch?,” “The Supermodel I Whack Off About Most Often and You Should, Too” and “Why My Dad’s An Asshole.”

Yeah yeah, this focking waste-of-time report finds that poor study habits result in poor writing skills. Really? Who would’ve thunk, ain’a? And it goes on to whine that kids can’t write ’cause they’re too busy watching too much TV. OK Mr. Smarty-Pants report, then I’m saying they’re not watching too much TV—they’re watching the wrong TV. I’m saying if we were really concerned about our kids’ harmony with the tenor of our times, that our local TV news shows—instead of running B.S. for old farts like the latest in neighborhood block watches, Humane Society kittens and where to save a focking penny on a goddamn gallon of gasoline—ought to run more stuff about bitching supermodels and how to stay out all night without getting caught; ought to run stuff our kids would watch on the TV news so that they, too, could become informed citizens like the rest of us.

Personally, I don’t view this report about how suck-ass our kids are at writing as necessarily bad news. In fact, to a guy in my position, it’s darn good news. If kids can’t write their way out of a paper bag, it lessens the chance and increases the odds that some whipper-snapping snot-eater with a multicultural tale to tell could waltz into this newspaper and set up shop in place of me, what the fock.

So, I got to go and start riding that ol’ lonesome campaign trail. And instead of harping on job creation, I’m going to hammer on “job replacement,” as in Art Kumbalek replacing Snidely Whiplash as your brand-new guv. The gig now pays $144,423 each and every year, and I can seriously use that kind of dough—especially after I haul it over to Potawatomi and triple it in two seconds flat Jack, I kid you not.

As Gov. Kumbalek, first order of my business will be to triple taxes on all Honky-sha County Republicans for their penchant to elect election officials that can’t count, and other general principles like bamboozling water from out of Lake Michigan. This increased revenue will be used to hire a boatload of new public school teachers statewide and to highly raise the salaries of the teachers we already got. Our children’s future depends on this, you betcha.

“Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation,” that’s my slogan ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek, and I told you so.

From: http://shepherdexpress.com/article-29700-the-alt-write-stuff.html

The Root River!

With all the rain we have been getting I just had to go and check out the Root River. Yesterday before I went to see Drew for lunch I took a little trip by the Root River on 5 Mile Rd.. I just could not believe how high the water was there. So I told Drew about how high the water was and asked him to get some pictures to share with everyone.

When I was taking my daughter back to Whitewater I seen how bad the farm fields were and I just could not believe it. They look like little ponds in the fields and the water fowl was just having so much fun. In these little ponds we have right now is where you can find a lot of the water fowl that is migrating and this is where Drew goes to do his birding.

Here are the pictures from the Root River on 5 Mile Rd.