Sunday, February 1, 2009

Truth still stranger than fiction - why me??


Oh me, oh my... this is going to be a wild week or so!

Here are the facts -

Mating season is in the FALL.
This is NOT FALL.

Max turns brilliant orange when his hormones are raging.
His hormones only rage during mating season.
This is NOT MATING SEASON!
Max IS GLOWING orange.
Max's object of affection - you guessed it.... ME...

They show affection by biting.
I do not show affection by biting!

Yesterday, my chowder-head clamped on the shoulder
of what I was wearing. He gave me a 'come hither' look,
which was really funny... I think I shattered his ego when I laughed.
He wouldn't let go...
It took 10 minutes and many attempts before he let go,
and that was only to try to get a better grip!

We sprayed him with water.
He closed his eyes and seemed to like it.

I pulled on his upper jaw, couldn't budge it. He's really strong!
I pulled down as hard as I could on his dewlap to
the point I was sure I was hurting him, nothing,
couldn't budge it at all.

I took him in the bathroom to the mirror where he likes to
bob at himself, thinking that would work... nope.

I took him back to his enclosure, thinking he would release
and go back without argument.... nope...
worse yet, he tried dragging my shoulder
and me
back to his love den....

That poor boy REALLY needs a girl friend!!!!!

Til his color returns to normal, he's GROUNDED!

16 comments:

Lizardmom said...

poor guy, he's so confused by it all, he just wants to be held non-stop...

Timt49 said...

now that's funny:))

you still wearing those little goat horns? maybe they're getting him excited.....

Anonymous said...

Ah Liz. Does that thing have a goiter or was it born like that?

Lizardmom said...

no goiter, those are his stud muffin markings :)

OrbsCorbs said...

I've known plenty of people who've had a dog wrap himself around their leg (me included), and I've even owned a couple of neutered cats who got amorous with pillows or blankets, but you are the first person I've ever known who has been romanced by a reptile. Congratulations.

MinnesotaChick said...

oh my..........

Unknown said...

Poor Liz. It bites to be loved so much! LOL Sorry I had too.........

homemomof2 said...

Thanks for making me smile, Liz.

OrbsCorbs said...

That's right Abby, sometimes love is painful.

kkdither said...

And I thought I dated some slimy fellows.... I don't know how you do it, I couldn't take it.

Why Not? said...

Thats funny Lizardmom. reminds me of my pet budgie I had.. he had a bit of a crush on me.. showed it by regurgitating his seed all over my shoulder..

Beejay said...

My Mother had two siamese cats, one of which was confused to his gender and attacked his brother, wanting a little hoochie. Somehow in the throws of throwing its brother off, the attackee's leg got broken. Oh, yes, good old, Eucie and Soci (Euclid and Socrates, no plain jane names for her siamese cats).

Pets you gotta love 'em.

Beejay said...

Liz, what have you been feeding him? Any Spanish Fly??? Me thinks you like his attention. If memory serves me right, he did this before...next time his color starts to change, run like Hell!

Lizardmom said...

I feed the 'boy wonder' an assortment of the good greens, he loves his veggies!!
that's funny, veggies don't have that drastic affect on the hubby,hmmm

Beejay said...

Hubby may want to have a man to man with Max, the SuperStud!

Frog-lover said...

there's a thought...too bad he doesn't like Max...