Thursday, January 23, 2014

What Can I Do To Earn More Money?

I need to earn more money and I’ll take any advice I can get on the subject.  I’m 62 and have a BA in English.  I also have a number of certificates and took courses in horticulture.  My major job experience has been in auto repair and landscaping.  I’m fat and half-blind and mentally ill and have horrible gastrointestinal problems and bad kidneys and arthritic hips and no stamina.  My kidney problems have left me permanently weakened.  I’m also losing my hearing.   I also don’t work well with others.  Other than that, I’m in great shape. 

Here are some of the jobs that I’ve already considered:

Wal-Mart greeter – I’m not sure that I have the disposition for this job.  I’d guess that within an hour, I’d choke a customer.  It’s all I can do now to keep from choking one when I shop there.

Journal Times deliveryman - Forget it.  The hours are insane.  You can never take a night off.  You work outdoors in blizzards and heat waves.  I don’t have the strength.

Gleaner – You know, one of those guys driving around in a beat up pickup truck overloaded with metal junk, leaning precariously to one side.  These guys get into fights over junk and defend their territories.  I knew a guy who did this.  To do it in any volume, you need somewhere to unload and sort the junk.  I don’t have that.

eBay entrepreneur – By used stuff low, sell it high online.  I don’t think I have the disposition for this, either.  You have to scour thrift shops and rummage sales for items to sell.  I’m not good at recognizing collectibles or what is “hot.”  Left to my own devices in a secondhand store, I’ll buy a ton of junk of no interest to anyone but me.  I filled and emptied my mother’s garage with junk three times.  None of it was anything I could sell on eBay.

Pimp – What the hell.  I live in a senior housing complex.  Women outnumber men 5 to 1 here.  I should be able to round up a few working “girls” and make some bucks off of them.

What do you suggest?

Send job offers to orbscorbs@jtirregulars.com

15 comments:

Toad said...

Orb's, My mind Is going round, and round, and will be back with my suggestions.

Anonymous said...

Orbs, you are a very skilled writer and blogger, might be something there for you.

DodgeBoy said...

Perhaps you could pimp yourself out and be a male prostitute.

BL Basketcase said...

Sell your sperm.... just tell the place you are dropping it off for your son because he is too embarrassed.. hehehe

OrbsCorbs said...

Gladly. Who will buy it?

My buddy at the old apartment building said I should sell my ass. Y'know, if I was 40 years younger, I might consider it. Gays guys were attracted to me then.

But if I were 40 years younger, I could do landscape work and wouldn't have to pimp out my ass. As it is, I don't know what kind of a market there is for fat old men.

Thank you, anonymous, for your kind words. I'd love to make money blogging, but so would a million other people. As for writing in general, I haven't checked out the market in decades.

I know that locally a young woman was trying to make money by writing for various sites, but I don't think it's very profitable.

Toad said...

Lots of units In that building. What about Cat watching, when the tenant Is away? Cat's only, and just make sure they are fed, and happy. Scoop turds, and flush. etc. No big deal, but sometimes necessary. I suppose birds would be ok also, but I don't think dogs would be very easy, or safe, and above all NO KIDS. Fish would be great also.

Toad said...

BLB, Sperm donation? I don't know how to get It out. Anyhow, you need to read about the guy In Kansas that a judge has ruled, has to pay child support for a child born by a Lesbian couple, that didn't follow state rules for such things. Hell of a surprise hey?

OrbsCorbs said...

A few years back at the old place, the manager introduced me to a new tenant who moved in with a Labrador Retriever. The man needed someone to walk his dog in the afternoon because he worked late and in Kenosha. I took on the job and soon regretted it. The dog walked me. He obeyed perfectly when the owner was around, but he knew he could walk all over me. One day by Gateway, the dog found a partially eaten sandwich in a shrub. He started eating it and when I tried to take it away, he growled. The next day the owner was upset that the dog was sick and that I had let him eat the sandwich. He gave me $20 for ten days of dog walking. I quit, nicely.

OKIE said...

I was thinking what DodgeBoy was thinking. Then I read BLB's comment and about wet my pants I was laughing so hard.

Maybe when the weather warms up you might talk to management about doing some landscaping work around the complex. I don't mean heavy stuff of course but maybe tending to flowers, that kind of thing. Or better yet, get them to build a garden and you can grow vegetables. Fresh veges everyday can't be beat.

BL Basketcase said...

TOAD!!!!! Must we go back to 6th grade health class? How to get sperm out?????? Aren't you a DAD????
I'm sure your wife could collect it
or you could buy an EJAC-U-VAC....or
maybe use the old fashioned way of Rosy Palm... I heard you can get up to $200 per squirt collection. That is not verified by me.

Those silly lesbians in Kansas. They used COME to GET.

MinnesotaChick said...

Tutoring?

BL Basketcase said...

MC...Are you offering to tutor Toad? It starts with a kiss and maybe a prince and then.....

MinnesotaChick said...

Oh Dear..... 😧 BLB .. I meant for Orbs! Tutoring

Girl get your mind out of the gutter! 😏

Tender Heart Bear said...

Daddy Orbs- I have been searching for work and there are some online jobs. This is for people to work from their homes maybe check into that. I know how you don't like to be out with the public that is why I am letting you know about this. Doing something like that is not for me because I hate sitting at home.

BLB- You always say something to make me laugh.

MC- You are right about the tutoring. He can look into that for at Gateway. I know they are always looking for that. My daughter said they never have enough people to tutor.

OrbsCorbs said...

Thank you everyone for your suggestions.

I'll look into tutoring, although I'm not sure what subject I would qualify for. I know two people who tutor, but they're both volunteers.

An online job would be perfect, but I think they're few and far between. There are people who telecommute to their jobs, but they have business skills that I lack.

There are also a boatload of scams online that talk about making big money online, but first you have to buy their service or book or whatever.

Maybe I'll do a version of the Nigerian scam. Don't be surprised if you receive an email from me promising millions if you just give me a few thousand.