Photos From the 20's

Every day we have something to be thankful for…

….today we are thankful that the photographer was not standing on the other side!

Super Cool

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! Can you believe it's Friday already? Time sure flies. This week's questions are about computers.

1) What kind of computer are you using?

2) Internet Explorer or Firefox?

3) How old is your computer?

4) Do you play online video games?

Have a good weekend folks!

"The real relaxation drink"

"To Whom it May Concern:

"I noticed you did a few pieces on relaxation drinks and also noticed that the only brands you had to review were sleep aids. I understand your writers' apprehension to drink either before bedtime, that's because the only effective ingredient either have in an effective dose is melatonin, a sleep hormone. We at Mini Chill set out to create a true relaxation drink that actually causes relaxation and improved mental focus without causing drowsiness. It's not only something to relax with, Mini Chill can be enjoyed at work on a stressful day and it will help you do your job more effectively. We have almost ten times the valerian root as either of the brands you covered. We also have the recommended effective levels of GABA, 5-HTP and L-Theanine, all natural herbs and amino acids that are guaranteed to cause relaxation, improve mental focus and improve mood WITHOUT causing drowsiness. Not only are we the only relaxation drink that's Dr. Formulated, we actually have published clinical research proving our product's effectiveness, which is unheard of in the beverage industry. Despite the fact that we obviously put more money and effort into developing a quality product than the competition, we retail at the same price as any relaxation shot out there. However, if you want to review Mini Chill, we would be happy to send you a free 12 pack. Please get back to me at your earliest convenience with a mailing address and I will expedite your free samples. Thanks for your time.
"Best
--
Ed Lamanna
Sales Director
Stevenson Products, LLC. The creators of Mini Chill™
58-17 255th Street
Flushing, NY 11362
Web: www.minichill.com"

I assume that the Irregulars will accept this offer.

St Paddy's Day Parade

For family-style Irish festivities, head Downtown on Saturday. At the center of the day's celebration will be Racine's fourth annual St. Patrick's Day Parade, which will make its way down Main and Sixth streets, beginning at noon from the corner of State and Main.

Select all that apply...

St. Paddy's Day Parade
	Have you gone in the past?
	Do you plan on going this weekend?
	Undecided
	Never go
pollcode.com free polls

I might be back online

I am back......have my old computer set up...will pick up my new one today or tomorrow and then attempt to set that up.

All you techies out there, is one router better than another? Which and why?

I did buy the TouchSmart HP....we'll see how smart it makes me...LOL.

Corporate America Has Officially Gone Bat Shit Crazy!

Okay, I upgraded to a nice Android phone last fall. I play with apps and saw the Bic Concert lighter app today. It is free so I downloaded it. It's a silly but fun app that puts an image of a lighter on your cell phone screen so you can wave it around at concerts.

I downloaded it and started it only to be hit with the following ominous warning: "This is obviously not a real lighter. However please do not let your children play with this applicaiton. This application should only be used by adults 19 years of age or older. Keep this virtual lighter and all real lighters away from children. No lighter is childproof. There is no substitute for proper adult supervision."

19 years old? You can DRIVE for three years before you a mature enough to have an image of a fake lighter on your screen? What kind of potential lawsuit could warrant this type of warning?

Rant over...back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Fantastic New Website

http://trololololololololololo.com/

I would consider this in the "positive" vein.

The Shredder

A young engineer was leaving the office at 3:45 p.m. when he found the Acting CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the Acting CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important Document , and my secretary is not here. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the Acting CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine, "I just need one copy."


Lesson:
Never, ever assume that your boss knows what he's doing.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my penultimate penumbras! How are you? It is so wonderful to see the little signs of spring begin to peek out here and there. But it’s also quite messy. Where there isn’t snow, there is mud. Or dog poop. And all the other assorted trash that emerges as the dirty snow slowly melts. Now we’re supposed to get a few days of rain. That may wash away some of the mess (while revealing more), but I hope the rivers can take it. The ground is saturated and still partially frozen. Oh my!

There I go, getting negative, right from the start. Shame on me. The first thing I want to do this week is draw attention to Ms. Lizardmom’s blog on being positive: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2010/03/time-for-some-positivity.html. Hurray for you, Ms. Lizardmom! I agree with you completely. With all of the bad things that we have endured in Racine recently, we need some good vibrations. Lots and lots of good vibrations.



I know that was corny, but I honestly just thought of it as I wrote. Anyway, that’s a very good song, and Racine needs a lot of what it has. We all should work toward restoring our city’s good vibrations. Racine is worth it, we are worth it, we are Racine.

No vibrations, good, bad, or otherwise, shook the inbox this week, my dears. I did receive an interesting piece of spam a few weeks ago and contacted the author. It turned out to be my old friend, Gamel the Gypsy. He’s working a different angle these days and has gotten into spam. That’s too bad. He used to be such a nice boy.



Now, don’t you feel better after watching that? I know I do. There are positive and good vibrations all around humor. It’s just difficult to get enough of them into your diet to crowd out the bad news. Here, try this:



You should be feeling great now, so give Ms. Lizardmom’s blog another visit and add to the positive. It feels good to do good, oh my goodness. And it feels good to spend time with my beloved irregulars. Thank you for reading my blog this week, my friends.

Discard your negative thoughts and energy at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Be careful in the rain and the mud, my dears. The butt you save may be your own. Deliquescence!

Stuff Christians Like

I remember a while ago someone posted a blog about Stuff White People Like which takes aim at the lefty whites in this country (and does it pretty well...having someone make fun of you is one thing...the least they can do is make it truly funny). Now someone has done the same for Christians with Stuff Christians Like.

I tell ya, I am getting an education about all you Christians out there!

I just peeked around out of curiosity and there is a Stuff Conservatives Like web site, but it is not nearly as good as the Stuff White People Like. Seems more like hackish attacks rather than the higher level satire of Stuff White People like. It's fairly new and only has 8 entries, so maybe he will get better.

There is a Stuff Black People like (very amateurish...even more so than Stuff Conservatives Like) but Stuff Gay Guys like has potential.

Sorry, I am getting distracted and randomly googling "stuff ______ like" where you can fill in the blank with your favorite racial group/political affiliation/sexual orientation/etc.

ROBOPLOW

Sure, now they come out with it, after winter is almost over...

Deer Season versus Python Season

Beginning on Monday, Florida is having their very first Python Hunting Season in the Everglades. I believe the season lasts a week or ten days. I wouldn't want our avid sportsmen to miss the opportunity to slosh through alligator infested waters in search of giant snakes! Hssssssst.

Time for some positivity!!

OK gang, it's time to brighten things up.

With all the negativity in the news lately,
it's down-right depressing.

This blog is a shout out to anything positive,
encouraging, or just plain awesome.

Is there somewhere you went that wow'd you?

Is there anyone that just really made your day?

This is mine.

This was an awesome and above and WAY beyond
reward for the incredible job my
drive thru did last Thursday.
We watch our drive thru times daily.
I gave them a challenge that they
blew out of the water!

I made a deal with the owner of Larsen's Bakery
on Hy 20. Really nice guy!
I told him about my challenge and he loved the idea.

If we made our breakfast DT times of 75 sec or less
then they would earn humongous donuts.
There is no stronger driving force that food!

Well, my gang ended Thursday breakfast at 69.
I went straight up to show him, and
couldn't be more proud.
Today, he not only made the ones
we agreed on but even more,
AND delivered them.

Each of the above donuts are more than
1 foot in diameter, just enormous!!

Thank you Don and the Larsen's gang!!!

and thanks to my Thursday morning
drive thru crew for blowing me away
and really working for your reward!

Adaptive Optics on the 365 Days of Astronomy Podcast

Well, actually ANOTHER 365 Days of Astronomy podcast. Today is one of my days and myself and a couple of my students talk about adaptive optics technology.

Adaptive optics is a collection of technologies we use to overcome the blurring effects of Earth's atmosphere. By measuring how Earth's atmosphere is distorting images, we can correct the images and end up with images from ground based telescopes that are nearly as good as those from the Hubble Space Telescope (and soon we will surpass Hubble image quality).

Adaptive optics is critical to systems such as the Boeing Airborn Laser Testbed which recently successfully shot down a missile in a test. A major plot of my podcast is about an alien attack on Earth and how adaptive optics plays a role in the battle.

And in terms of peaceful, non-astronomy related applications, adaptive optics is being used in medical applications, particularly vision. Adaptive optics technologies play a role in measuring vision defects, LASIK, and retinal imaging.

Adaptive Optics: It's not just for astronomers!

ROUTE 66 and BURMA SHAVE........

For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's thru the '50's.

Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old two lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields.

They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet .... and the obligatory 5th sign advertisingBurma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

Here are some of the actual signs:

DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR.
Burma Shave

TRAINS DON'T WANDER
ALL OVER THE MAP
'CAUSE NOBODY SITS
IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP
Burma Shave

SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH
BY MISTAKE
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS
HER HUSBAND JAKE
Burma Shave

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave

DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
IS NOT AMUSING
Burma Shave

BROTHER SPEEDER
LET'S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING, NURSE
Burma Shave

CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND A LITTLE MORE STEER
Burma Shave

SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE SPOT
Burma Shave

THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave

AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?
Burma Shave

NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU
Burma Shave

A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'
Burma Shave

AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY
BurmaShave

BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S CODE
Burma Shave

THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING
Burma Shave

CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.
Burma Shave

PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma Shave

TV Commercials

In the past week or so there are two commercials, one which I think is totally wrong and one which makes me laugh.

The wrong one is for Tide Laundry Detergent. There is a young girl, 10 -12 years old, who is complaining about her ‘hand-me-down’ blue jeans from her sister. The little girl say, “the pair of jeans she wants is only a $100.00 dollars, but now that her mom washed the old ones in Tide, the spot is gone and she ends up with them”.

Why is Tide telling young people that spending a $100.00 on a pair of jeans is okay? Are they out of their mind! To me...if you spend a $100 bucks on a pair of jeans, you do not have any money problems and you are pretty well off!

The second is (I believe) is State Farm. A man and his wife are sitting in an auditorium listening to a play and he asks her for some lip balm and she hands him her lip stick and he puts it on without checking! Way tooooo funny, just makes me giggle my ass off!

Today is International Women's Day

http://www.internationalwomensday.com/

Treat an international woman to lunch.

The Benefit Review

Last night, I went to the Thoughts for Food Benefit. I had a good time! If anybody is interested, just follow this link over to my blog and read about it there. It took me over an hour to write it up. I would take me too long copy and paste it over here. I'm a SLOW typer. Thanks!

BTW fungi, thanks for the drink!

Bacon Rocket

rathergood.com is a great site. I didn't realize that there is also a YouTube channel.

One of my favorite rathergood videos: http://www.rathergood.com/laibach

MY LIVING WILL

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.

They are SO on my shit list ...

Thoughts for Food

The 18th Annual Thoughts for Food Benefit is tomorrow night. Many great local bands will be playing this year. I am particularly on seeing Mean Jake and Lydon Moon. I may bring my camera and blog about this show. Hope to see you all there this year!

Thoughts for Food link

It's Beer Friday!

Finally Friday, and after this week, who couldn't use a tall cold one! If that's you I have just the thing! Tonight the Sturtevant Volunteer Fireworks Committee is holding a Micro Brew beer tasting from 6 pm to 9 pm! The ticket price includes sampling 24 different beers from 12 breweries and appetizers and a live band. Also a silent auction will be available. Tickets: $20 in advance, $25 at the door Tickets available at: JQ Foxes Bar and Restaurant, Hiawatha Bar, Village Liquor, Sturtevant Village Hall, Joey's on Lathrop, M&M Citgo. (I also have tickets)

Come to the village have a couple and support a great cause!

Schlager

Seeming I brought up schlager in my last post I thought I would give an example.. I really only need to give one example as they are all built up pretty much the same. This is an artist named Carola and she is Sweden's sweetheart. She has been in the limelight since she was very young this was from a few years ago in the Eurovision Song contest, a contest that most countries in Europe send in one song that best represents their country and they compete against each other (a kind of musical Olympics), the country that wins gets the honor of hosting the event the next year. Anyways out of about 32 songs that the Swedes could choose from this is what was sent..



But alas Sweden didn't win that year this is what won: From Finland I give you Lordi

Swedish Music

Hey,
I thought maybe I'd share a little Swedish music. Don't worry I wont post any ABBA. You can get quite a wide variety of music here in Sweden from the very bad to quite good of course depending on what your music taste is, but I would almost say no one would agree that the music style called Schlager is good music. For whatever reason it just will not disappear. Anyways here is a song called Under Ytan (Under the Surface) by a man named Uno Svenningsson. I liked this song even before I understood Swedish, but enjoyed it even more after I learned what the lyrics were saying, so I thought I would do my best to translate it..





Under the surface
there are big and small
under the surface
there is laughes and cries
there is much there that happens
that we do not understand
but we always find the answer
there in the bottom of ourselves
Under the surface

I know, I know, I know that you are there
I know, I know, I know that you are there
I know, I know, I know that you are there
I know, I know, I know

It laughs and it cheers
but it ends quickly in chaos
someone kicks and hits the wretch there
that is completely with a chance
I see that no one seems to care
neither do I
The fear is too big and strong
to do anything at all

Under the surface
I am ashamed for my self
Under the surface
the image burns me

I know, I know, I know that you are there
I know, I know, I know that you are there
I know, I know, I know that you are there
I know, I know, I know

I think of you often
as if you were my own brother
then I have changed as well
to a monster without mercy
when I see all of this evil
that we people have let loose
the meaningless suffering
then I have difficulty understanding
that we all have been children
and helpless at sometime
loved without boundries
loved without force.

Under the surface
we are all small
under the surface
can a good soul perish

Four for Fridays

Good morning everybody! This week's blog is about a day in the life...

1) What's the first thing you do in the mornings?

2) What time do often get up?

3) Are you a planner or just spontaneous?

4) What time do you often go to bed?

Have a good weekend folks!

Bee-Boy Dance Crew

"When a honey bee returns to the hive after finding a good source of nectar, it will perform a unique dance for its hive mates, detailing the distance, quality and quantity of the new food supply."

http://www.helpthehoneybees.com/

GLOBE at Night on Local Television

My colleague talks about GLOBE at Night. You can see where I work (it was filmed in what is called the Scientific Interaction Room at NOAO, basically where you meet up over coffee to chat about projects and research).

Unforutnately, their embed code does not play nice with Blogger so you have to click the link to watch it.

Tin Hat alert. Im standing up!

Has anyone else gotten the American Community Survey? This is not the 10 question census, which I will gladly answer. This is in addition, and asks questions like name address and phone number for everyone in your residence, if you have plumbing, do you have a mental defect which limits you from working, can you walk upstairs, what time do you leave for work every day and how many people ride in the car, how much do you make and where have you lived each year over the last five years, along with 310 other intrusive questions. It says that you are required by law to fill this out. I am not going to. I have been doing research and 45% of people getting this have an issue with it.

I have had two surveys sent to me, and have had one person from the Census Bureau come to my door. The next time they come I will videotape it and politely ask them to leave my property.

I may be risking a 5000 fine and six months in jail, which is funny because the CB has no power to inforce this, only recommend to the justice department. Also, according to the constitution, all they are allowed to ask is the 10 question "How many people live here" enumeration. I will give them that answer. They can take the rest of the survey and pound sand.

Are you ready for two more feet of snow?

Post-Sentencing Message Site Quickly Erected for Gary Becker

Here.

Bird of the Week - Special Becker Edition

This special bird of the week award goes to our former pedo-mayor Gary (the sick bastard) Becker, soon to be known as prisoner #451245213 for getting what he deserves. Here's to you Gary! You wont be shopping in the girls department at Boston Store for a long time.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my red breasted robins! How are you? Mr. OrbsCorbs’ blog picture of the growing greenery and Mr. Drew’s and others’ comments on robins have kindled an early case of spring fever in me. Oh my, there is still plenty of snow on the ground and lots of nip in the air. It’s going to be awhile yet before the thaw and muck of March and April start coming up roses, literally. And all Wisconsinites have weathered late winter and early spring storms. But when the sun does shine now, it shines a little brighter and a little warmer. The days are a little longer, too. And some plants even have the audacity to start budding. Can baseball and/or love be far behind?

"When the Red Robin Comes Bobbin' Along" - ‘Whispering’ Jack Smith, 1926:



Sorry about jumping to video so soon in my blog, but, as I said, I have spring fever, and I feel joyous. I hope that each and every one of my Irregulars catches it soon, too. Mr. Hale-bopp has a vast understanding of the workings of the cosmos and can explain how our planet is rotating and tilting on its axis in orbit around our sun, which in turn is rotating and tilting on its axis, ad infinitum. The northern hemisphere of our planet is coming into spring. All that means to me is more sun, more green, more birds, more growth, more air. Warmer air. Warmer people. Warmer times.

Warmer climes, like the United Arab Emirates, where they just held their annual camel beauty
pageant: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2868934/Camels-flash-their-lady-humps.html

You can listen to some of the proceedings here:



And that’s why they call Wednesday “hump day.” Tee-hee, oh, I’m sorry, no. They call it that because I bust my hump to deliver my blog to you. And that’s because I love you and I enjoy spending quality time with you each week. I am so grateful that you take the time to read my blog. Thank you.

I see better times ahead for dear Racine, my friends, accompanied by better weather. Get out and enjoy some of it.

Please send your brightest ideas and darkest thoughts to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Be careful! Melting ice is very slippery. Mind your steps, my dears. Imprimatur!

Insomnia

For the third time in the past two weeks, I cannot fall asleep. This is not like me. I usually fall asleep quite quickly.

I remember my father battling insomnia as he aged. He would tell me how much he envied me my sleep. He died when he was a year and a half older than I am now.

Do you ever get insomnia? If so, what, if anything, do you do about it?

Apparently, I post old David Bowie songs (with a tip of the hat to hale-bopp's previous blog about the Ole Miss Rebels):

Don't Go to Ole Miss: IT'S A TRAP!

Those crazy kids at Ole Miss. See, their sports teams go by the name Rebels. So when they go looking for mascots, they think about famous rebels. At one point, they might have thought of Confederate warriors. Not this generation. Nope. There is a movement afoot to replace their current mascot with one other than Admiral Ackbar of Star Wars fame.

You might think this would cause all kinds of problems with Lucas, but maybe not. There was a post on the Star Wars Blog giving some encouragement although warning that, "Lucasfilm is flattered that our Star Wars fans at the University of Mississippi are considering electing Admiral Ackbar as their mascot. The last time we checked in with Admiral Ackbar he was leading the Rebel Alliance Fleet on a critical mission so it will be difficult for him to show up for the games!"

So go Rebels...but don't fall into any traps! I would love to see this guy on the sidelines!

Unfortunate Picture Placement

I am sure that the person who choose the picture and wrote the story just weren't talking to each other! Ouch!

GLOBE at Night 2010

It's that time of year again...time for our annual campaign to measure the levels of light pollution in our night skies. This year's GLOBE at Night campaign runs from March 3rd to the 16th. It is very easy to participate and contribute to our world wide map of light pollution.

All you have to do is go outside after it gets dark and find the constellation of Orion. Look closely at what you see in the sky and compare it to the magnitude charts. Here is what they look like.

You simply look at the sky and compare it to the charts. Pick the one that looks closest to what you see in the sky and you have your data point. You might notice that magnitude 7 has a lot of stars and magnitude 1 has very few. In astronomy, higher numbers mean dimmer stars (it's a long story).

You will also need to know your latitude and longitude. If you have a GPS system, great (many cell phone GPS systems will tell you your latitude and longitude). If not, no big deal...all you need is your address and you can find your latitude and longitude using sites such as iTouchmap. You can then use the form to report your measurements online. You can then use the mapviewer to see your data and data from around the world.

It's pretty easy. We are looking for lots of data. Last year, there were over 15,000 reports from around the world and we would love to top that this year. You can make more than one observation. You can make them from home, the grocery store, a park, the movie theater, pretty much anywhere you go at night and it just takes a couple of minutes. I try to go for several bike rides during GLOBE at Night. I have a Garmin Forerunner GPS on my wrist and record all my data using the voice recorder on my iPod. I go out several nights and bike a different direction each time, getting a dozen or so measurements each night. I live near the edge of Tucson, so I get very different results if I bike west (into Tucson) versus east (toward Saguaro National Park). That is exactly what we would like. Lots of data in different cities...from the densely populated and brightly lit downtown to the suburbs as they give way to the countryside.

So why should you care? Well, we are losing out night skies. Many people have never seen a truly dark sky or if they have, it is a childhood memory. Light pollution is wasted energy and hence money. Light pollution has many negative effects on wildlife as well.

Still not enough for you? How about your own health? Last summer, the American Medical Association passed resolution 516, "Advocating and Support for Light Pollution Control Efforts and Glare Reduction for Both Public Safety and Energy Savings" identifying light pollution as a human health concern. You can read the entire resolution here. In part it says

"Whereas, Light trespass has been implicated in disruption of the human and animal circadian rhythm, and strongly suspected as an etiology of suppressed melatonin production, depressed immune systems, and increase in cancer rates such as breast cancers 16,17,18,19,20,21,22; and

Whereas, Light trespass disrupts nocturnal animal activity and results in diminished various animal populations’ survival and health 23; therefore be it of energy efficient designs to reduce waste of energy and production of greenhouse gasses that result from this wasted energy use (New HOD Policy); and be it further

RESOLVED, That our AMA support light pollution reduction efforts and glare reduction efforts at both the national and state levels (New HOD Policy); and be it further

RESOLVED, That our AMA support efforts to ensure all future streetlights be of a fully shielded design or similar non-glare design to improve the safety of our roadways for all, but especially vision impaired and older drivers. (New HOD Policy)"

Now of course the solution is not to turn off all lights...that would be silly. Lights are needed at night for safety and security. The solution is well designed lighting the directs light where you need it, when you need it, and in the correct amount. Too much light can cause glare and make it more difficult to see which can be just as dangerous as not enough light.

So come on out and help us get our data and full up that map!

It's Good to Be an Olympic Athlete

It must be because the CBC is reporting there is an emergency shipment of condoms on the way to the Olypmic Villiage due to a condom shortage. It's not like they didn't give them any...they started out with 100,000 condoms for the 7,000 athletes. That's about 14 condoms per athlete for those keeping score at home (and that's 14 for every man AND woman athlete so if they are using them with each other, that means they have to engage in 28 acts requiring the use of a condom during the games, although some may be used with adoring fans).

I guess we now know what the Olympic Rings REALLY represent!

UPDATE: Well, maybe the Olypmpic Village is a little more calm than first thought. Clay Adams of Vancouver Coastal Health says they weren't just for athletes: "They were on the cruise ships that housed security, support staff and volunteers. They were in washrooms at public venues, including the downtown pavilions where visitors gathered for free concerts. They were handed out by volunteers and readily available in clinics."

The athletes only got 40,000 of the condoms according to CNN.

and the winners are...

In honor of the Olympics,

this months blogging winners are going
to be awarded the gold, silver and bronze medals.

Let the ceremony commence....


The Gold Medal for most blogs going to...

SER, our favorite Spuddy Buddy!
Just inching out our silver medalist by one blog...


The Silver Medal goes to Orbscorbs!!

Coming in closely behind...


The Bronze Medal goes to our very own
HaleBopp!!!

Congratulations guys!!!

I wish there were more medals,
honorable mentions go to...
kkdither, logjam, drew, and Mme. Z

Well done everybody!!!

This month we are taking time off of competitions.
Do think about this -
In April, I think it would be fun to have
one on one competitions.
Who would you like to challenge personally to try to out-blog?

A blogging dual, could be fun!!
Think about it, and be ready to challenge someone in April!!

Daylilies, March 1, 2010, Racine, Wisconsin

Yes!

Green. Growing from the earth. In Racine. Even as you read this. Huzzah!

For me, this is better than the first robin of spring (which I usually see in July). Ma Nature is gonna come back for another try. She takes a licking, but she keeps on ticking.

The Magic of Aladdin...

I went to Disneyland last week and saw the Aladdin show at California Adventure. First, I will say that this is easily the best show I have seen in any theme park anywhere. It tells the story well and has very good production values with a talented cast. If you are there, it is a must see.

But the astronomy in the show is not so good. I snapped a pic during the show of the scene in Jasmine's quarters (no flash photography so I apologize if it is slightly blurry from camera shake).

There is one thing wrong with this picture and another that is, well, implausible at best. Look closely at the crescent Moon (ignore for the moment the fact that the Moon is WAY too big! You should be able to cover the Moon with your pinky held out at arm's length.) You can see stars inside the crescent! Although we see only a lit crescent, the rest of the Moon is still there (sometimes near sunset or sunrise you can dimly see the rest of the Moon due to Earthshine). The Moon should block out any stars that are behind it. The only way to see stars inside the crescent is if they are closer to Earth than the Moon. There are no stars closer to Earth than the Moon...and I am pretty confident none will be discovered there in the future!

The second issue is more subtle. The Moon depicted is a waning crescent (for viewers in the northern hemisphere and Agraba is in the northern hemisphere). A waning crescent Moon won't rise until well after midnight. Based on its phase, this Moon would probably come up at 3 or 4am. Now I know Aladdin isn't the brightest bulb in the circuit, but I doubt he would wait until four in the morning to go woo Jasmine...I mean, the Genie is giving him all kinds of advice and seems like a sensible guy who would say, "Hey, Al! Don't wait until four in the morning!"

But its worse than that. The waning crescent moon would rise with its "horns" pointing upward. Here they are distinctly pointing down. They point down when the waning crescent Moon sets. In this phase, the Moon sets sometime in the middle of the afternoon. Oops! The Sun should still be up.

Now this might seem like nitpicking, but they could have just as spent five minutes with me and gotten it correct. There is nothing in the plot (or even visually) that would be been diminished by a realistic depiction of the scene. Maybe I should offer my services to Disney as an astronomy consultant!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

The Circus Has Begun

"Becker to be sentenced this week"

"RACINE - Three days from now, former mayor Gary Becker will find out what his sentence will be for going to meet with an undercover agent who posed online as a 14-year-old girl.
-----
"Join us at http://www.journaltimes.com at noon Tuesday when reporter Janine Anderson hosts a live conversation about the Becker case. Readers can submit their comments about the case during the conversation. We will also bring you live coverage from the courtroom when Becker is sentenced, also available at

"http://www.journaltimes.com"

http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_309fe158-240f-11df-a2be-001cc4c03286.html

Once again, I propose that a citywide holiday be declared for Wednesday and that all bars open early. Does anyone know what kind of odds the bookies are giving? Does anyone know where I can place a bet?

Whales perform for first time since death

Talk about a crazy headline, for a minute there I thought I smoke'in the wrong stuff?

Well actually they (the whales) are not dead, but there was an unfortunate accident where one of the trainers was killed.

Whales perform for first time since death

ORLANDO, Fla. - More than 2,000 people watched killer whales perform Saturday at SeaWorld for the first time since one of the orcas dragged a trainer to her death underwater in front of horrified spectators three days ago.

Whales perform for first time since death

"Feed the Kitty"

The policeman vs. kitty video reminded me of this.

Four for Fridays

Hello everybody! I hope everybody is staying warm! This week's questions are about school.

1) Did you like school growing up?

2) What was your favorite subject?

3) Describe yourself in high school.

4) Did you go to college?

Have a good weekend folks!

I've been missing in action

Friends, I have been out of touch for over two weeks...my computer is disconnected and my office is in disarray...we are redoing the whole thing, creating havoc to a once disorganized mess. now the mess is intruding my bedroom, laundry-room and any other place I can stash my office goodies until such time as this project is completed.

The point of this blog, however, is that that commercial with the goofball telling you all how great AT&T and their wireless connection is full of beanie babies...I have been off-line more than on-line and now, somehow, this little computer has hooked into someone's wireless in the neighborhood...the hell with you, AT&T, I don't need you!!! I have some poor neighbor whose router is near enough to let me in the door...has to be some connection since the closet neighbor does not have internet service at all....

I should be back on line soon....and am buying one of those all in one touch screen 'puters....any input on those, guys?

Raw Video: Policeman Vs. Kitty

[No audio.]



"Watch as a patient police officer in Texas puts up with a friendly black cat clinging to him during a recent traffic stop. The ways of the affectionate feline were captured by the patrol car's dashcam."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_zRPWyATZw

When they're that friendly, I wonder if they're in heat.

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS

(Actual writings from hospital charts)

1 The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8 The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Unfortunately, Madame Zoltar has some sort of bug this week and is feeling under the weather. She hopes to return next week.

--The Sheriff

Update: 5:30 pm - I'm feeling a little better now after eating some chicken noodle soup and crackers. Whew! That virus is something. My sides hurt from heaving. Oh dear.

Anyway, Mr. SER sent in an email last week and I wanted to respond while it's timely. He wrote:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

I recently posted an article about the high speed train from Milwaukee to Madison. [http://www.jtirregulars.com/2010/02/state-approves-spenging-for-high-speed.html]

Here is my question to you:

In the near future, do you feel the state is going to add another tax to support this personal agenda of someone?

I am sure they can come up with some kind of crazy name to call it!

.........SER

Thank you, Mr. SER, for your query. Of course, you are right about the tax. Once the federal funds run out on this, the state will have to make up the difference. We are already committed to it, without even knowing what it will cost.

The new tax will be called the M&M tax, ostensibly after the Milwaukee and Madison destinations on the rail line. Some wags, however, will refer to it as the M&M tax because "it melts money out of your wallet, and into the government's hands."

Thank you for reading my abbreviated blog, my friends. And thank you for all the nice comments below regarding my health. I love each and every one of you.

Don't forget to send your home remedies to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

See you next week, in the pink of health, I hope. Gluteus Maximus!

--Madame Zoltar

Lucy Banned From Colorado Springs

Lucy the Slut that is, the lovable big busted puppet from Avenue Q. Avenue Q is playing there and they used a pic of Lucy on an ad on a bus shelter that was too much for this conservative town.

Lucy was philosophical as always: "When my public relations people told me that my cleavage was banned from the bus shelters of Colorado Springs, my first thought was: ‘they could fit my cleavage on a little bus shelter?!’ Then I was disappointed—I simply hoped to further beautify the community. However, given my notoriety as a profligate home-wrecker, I suppose all of the men of Colorado Springs might succumb to my generous charms. My bazooms are widely acknowledged as a threat to the traditional family structure."

Yeah, gay marriage is not nearly as big of a threat to heterosexual marriage as Lucy!

Solar Storm Watch Wants You

Citizen science is big in astronomy. Astronomers have lots of big data sets to analyze and computers can only do so much. Computers are good at crunching lots of numbers. Recognizing complex patterns can give computers some trouble but is something that a person with just a little training can get good at very quickly.

Astronomers have been taking advantage of this for several years with the Galaxy Zoo project where people help classify galaxies and hunt for supernova. These collaborations have resulted in quite a few papers being published in peer reviewed literature. These projects have amassed over 250,000 users and 55 million galaxy classifications!

Now comes the newest member of the family, Solar Storm Watch. In Solar Storm Watch, you look for storms in data from the STEREO mission. STEREO consists of two spacecraft, one ahead of the Earth in its orbit around the Sun and one trailing the Earth, to give us 3-D views of the Sun. You get to look at data from the STEREO spacecraft to detect solar storms and measure their speeds. Solar storms can effect us on Earth with effects ranging from the pretty but harmless (northern lights) to disrupting communications and, in rare cases, causing blackouts by overloading power grids.

Before you can analyze real date and contribute to the database, you do have to complete a short web based training to learn to identify solar storms. It took me less than 15 minutes to do. Basically you are shown a series of pictures and have to identify which ones have the storms. One neat thing is that they also show you how to identify comets, particle strikes on the detector, and optical artifacts (these skills are useful for analyzing any photographs, especially those that supposedly show UFOs!)

This is a great project for teachers to get their class involved with as well. The web site keeps track of the storms you spot and other achievements.

Just be careful...it can be addictive!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Helpful Little Girl

Tickle Cock Bridge is Back!

Apparentally, the Wakefiled District Council in England thought the name was inappropriate for some reason and wanted to erect (pun intended) a marker proclaiming it Tittle Cott Bridge. They underestimated the power of the masses, of the generations of young men and women that courted under Tickle Cock bridge and wanted those precious memories preserved by not changing its name.

Well, the fine men and women of Wakefield prevailed...they have their Tickle Cock Bridge...power to the people!

I stole this from another site

You will need to open two windows.

1. Open this:
http://www.rainymood.com/

2. Press play. [It started automatically for me.]

3. Open this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMnrl0tmd3k

4. Adjust sound as needed.

Now lean back with a nice glass of whiskey and enjoy.