Sand Castles

Click Here to see more Sand Castles.

US Media Silent on Swine Flu Vaccine Side Effects

In England, they're a little more concerned about the vaccine than we are:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1206807/Swine-flu-jab-link-killer-nerve-disease-Leaked-letter-reveals-concern-neurologists-25-deaths-America.html

Uh-Oh!

She has since forgiven the blogger, but her lawyer still wants to sue (imagine that).

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hxANK9Em2CzUs7P3Woth7b9WMJWQD9A6BA9O3

Customer(s) Kills 2 Attempting to Rob Milwaukee Store

"Two men were shot to death Tuesday while trying to rob a convenience store on Milwaukee's north side, police said.

"The men were armed and wearing masks and gloves when they entered the store at N. 12th and W. Chambers streets about 10:45 a.m., Milwaukee police Capt. Edith Hudson said. They announced that a robbery was taking place but were then shot by a customer or customers, who ran from the store, Hudson said. No arrests have been made, she said."

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/53574312.html


The family of one of the would-be robbers claims he was innocent.

"The police is telling a lie. I know he didn't go around in the store trying to rob anybody," one of their mothers said.

Police said that the man had arrests for drugs, armed robbery and weapons violations.

"A Note on Comments"

Reordered to the top to ensure all comments and voices are heard.

We've enabled moderation for comments posted to blogs that are two weeks old and older.

What that means is that if you post a comment to a blog that has been up for more than two weeks, the comment will be reviewed by an administrator before it will appear on the blog.

This is being done for two reasons:

1.) To prevent another incident like the recent one in which someone(s) posted threats on a month-old blog: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2009/07/kaledonia-koward-kicks-dog.html

2.) To prevent spamming of old blogs. Without such moderating, anyone could post anything in the comments. We don't have time to patrol all the old blogs, but I'd hate to see them spammed up with links to porno sites or online gambling or other garbage.

The amount of time before moderation kicks in is set in days and easily adjusted. When it happens, a link appears in the dashboards of administrators, and an email is sent to the JTI. Then an admin has to look at the comment to OK it.

Another alternative is to disable anonymous comments and only allow those of registered users.

If you disagree with this decision, or have other suggestions, please say so below.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my purple coneflowers! How are you? Summer finally made an appearance in August this year. Better late than never, right? I’ve kept my thermostat low and on the go. I enjoy summer, but I’m not a big fan of the heat. It gives me the vapors.

I received an email from Ms. DogAddicts this week, in which she wrote:

Dear Madame Zoltar,

Doesn't seem like many JTI'ers have any questions.

My neighbor has a BIG mouth. She says the Free Masons have control of the gov., the stock market, (they decide when it goes up or down) and even they have the final say in who will be President.

Can this be true?

Dear Ms. DogAddicts,

Yes, it’s true that many JTIers do not have questions to submit.

I’m teasing. Concerning the “M” word, I do not want to offend anyone or any group, but if you’ve seen the movie National Treasure, then I think you already know the answer to your question. I’m beginning to think that they even control the weather. That might explain the atmospheric “coincidences” that I’ve encountered on my recent travels. My thoughts and feelings on the matter should not be accepted just because I am Madame Zoltar™, though. One should always consider the fair, unbiased, and balanced analysis of objective professionals, such as those who produced this video:



Which brings me to the subject of my next rant, my dears. Please be aware of the danger of cults. They are insidious and exist all around us. You rarely hear of them until someone serves up the cyanide Kool-Aid. They are usually run by an egomaniac who considers himself all-powerful and somehow above his followers. That type of personality disgusts me, Madame Zoltar®. As evidence of how sneaky these cults can be, consider this video, which was recently seized in a raid and contains the original, uncensored soundtrack to a familiar late night TV commercial:



I’d also like to say that I thank my lucky stars every night that I did not make any predictions on when or if Brett Favre would retire. Ha, I’d rather predict the end of time than try to figure that guy out. As for the Minnesota Vikings, we’ll see what I can cook up in my potion lab for them.

So, is Mr. Favre going to be available for the draft in the Irregular Football League? If you haven’t joined the league, you should consider it. You don’t have to know a thing about football to play. You can read Mr. RWWackoStu’s blog about it here: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2009/08/irregular-football-league.html. And you can sign up here: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/signup.

Don’t forget to pass your problems and questions on to me at: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you for reading my blog. I hope your week to come is filled with wonder and joy. See you next week, my sweets. Fahrenheit!

Photos From the Past

Click Here to see many more photos from the past.

Photos are Courteous of Original Photographers.

Welcome to the College Class of 2013

It has become a bit of an annual tradition about this time each year to take a gander at the Beloit College Mindset For the Class of 2013. I think they do this to make us feel old...fortunately, it hasn't worked on me yet. Makes me feel those young 'uns are oblivious to history.

So a few of my favorites...

9. They have been preparing for the arrival of HDTV all their lives.

14. Text has always been hyper.

25. Condoms have always been advertised on television.

33. Their folks could always reach for a Zoloft (and probably needed it!)

51. Britney Spears has always been heard on classic rock stations.

Mary Todd Gets Her Nose Job

At East Park, on the Racine Gateway campus, this morning. The man said that Abe's nose needed some work, too - it was cracking. Dang-gum youth of today!

HAHAHA Back to snakes and Brett

Retirement? What retirement? A Viking no less

The Game of Flu

Swine flu is one of the big stories these days as we approach another flu season in the northern hemisphere. How do you control a flu epidemic? Well, Dutch researchers are going to let you give it a try by playing the Great Flu Game. Your goal is to control the worldwide pandemic through a variety of means such as stockpiling anti-virals, closing schools, restricting travel, etc. You even get to choose the virus you want to track. Everything you do has a cost and you have a budget, so you can't do everything (which means you may not be able to save some very unhappy people). How much do you spend on research vs anti-virals vs vaccines?

I haven't gotten a chance to play the game yet, but it looks interesting. Guess I have to save the world tonight.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

That Chianti??

Oh boy, what was the name of the Chianti that Avenging Angel brought to the gathering at my house? Oh dear...was it Ruffino????? KK, you remember???? It was so good...

Elliot Lake is near Sault Ste. Marie

By the length of his beard and the grey legs, I figure he must be over 10 years old. He looks to be well over 8 feet at the top of the shoulder hump,and with his head up the height to the top of his antler must be about 12 feet .This guy is king of the forest, no bear or pack of wolves would dare come after him when he has this rack......Considering that a dirt road can fit 1 1/2 cars across ... this fellow is HUGE ...THIS IS ONE BIG BOY!

THE PICTURE WAS TAKEN IN ELLIOT LAKE

Yes it is a regular size dirt road.

I would be afraid to shoot this guy...might just make him mad!

An amazing 700 year old 'Troglodyte' village in IRAN.....

Click on the images to enlarge.....

Photos compliments of a fellow blogger.

SMART CAR

Well...if there was ever any question of me driving one...it's been answered.

Below is a photo of a wreck in Jefferson Parish, LA (near New Orleans ) between two trucks and a Smart Car.

Think I'll pass on the Smart Car.

My Irony Meter Just Exploded...

Some of these town hall meetings on health care have gotten a little testy. Last week a fight broke out in St. Louis between members of the Service Employees International Union and the Tea Bag Coalition (naturally each side blames the other, but that's not the point).

Unfortunately, one of the Tea Bag coalition, Kenneth Gladney, was injured. Now he is accepting donations for his medical care due to the fact that he was just laid off from his job and has no health insurance...after suffering injures at a rally against universal health insurance.

Irony meter explodes...

Mother of all CLOCKS!

Don't if this if fact or fiction. Either way it's amazing.

I would like to think it's fiction, but it makes a point ! ! !

Must see…

Wow... if you look at all of the headings, it is amazing!


Mother of all Clocks

The Internet is for Defiling Childhood Memories

A remixed song from Avenue Q featuring your favorite Sesame Street characters.

Hanging Out at JPL

I just got back from a trip and one of my stops was a tour of the Jet Propulsion Lab in Pasadena. They build and run a wide variety of satellites, mostly Earth observing and solar system exploration including the Mars Rovers and Cassini.

The first stop was their little museum. The room is dominated by a full scale model of the Galileo spacecraft that studied Jupiter. Galileo was a fairly large satellite as you can see.

We got to see the testing facility where they have a working replica of the Mars rovers. Spirit is currently stuck on Mars. They are trying to recreate the conditions as close as they can so they are burying its wheels (it has used a camera on a boom to photograph them so we know roughly how deep they are buried) and built a platform that gives the same incline the rover is resting on. Now they are trying different techniques to get it unstuck.

And they are already hard at work on the next mission, the Mars Science Laboratory. Here is part of the six-wheeled rover.

The clean room holds a wide variety of other pieces that will go into the Mars Science Laboratory as well.

Finally, we stopped by the control room. This is where the commands are sent to and data is received from the spacecraft.

JPL is a small city. Probably a couple of thousands of people work there on different projects. They have multiple cafeterias/restaurants, a credit union, fitness center, post office, recreation facilities and lots of other things you expect from a small city. I worked at Fermilab and it was very similar there.

It's just cool to be where science is done.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Free Markets My Ass!

[rant]I had a little extra time on my way to the airport in LA yesterday so I stopped by a Best Buy. I want to see the new T-Mobile Mytouch phone so I asked them about it.

Turns out they don't carry T-Mobile at this Best Buy. Talking to the sales person, he told me that their contract with Verizon states they can carry only two other brands of phones so they had AT&T and Sprint. Other stores might carry AT&T and T-Mobile. So this is the glorious free market which is supposed to benefit consumers. Corporations restricting their competition. Surprised they let ANY other competitors in the store while they were at it.

Another good example is the Bluray/HD-DVD battle. How many consumers voted by, you know, buying a player? Did the free market choose a winner? It did, if you consider the free market being Sony and Toshiba cutting deals with studios to make their discs exclusive to one format or the other. In the end, the more expensive, less efficient technology won out before the consumer had a choice.

And now we are hearing lots of people arguing for free market based solutions to health care. Again, the markets are lot more free for the corporations than the consumers which leads to higher prices and fewer choices for consumers.
[/rant]

"Vallium is my favorite color"

is the catchphrase from the Broadway musical Next to Normal. I saw it last Sunday when I was in NYC. Sort of an unlikely topic for a rock muiscal...mental illness.

I don't want to give away too many plot points, but the mother in this small cast is suffering from mental illness due to a past family tragedy. So why blog here about it? Much to my surprise, they featured Next to Normal on Science Friday last week (listen streaming or download the free podcast). Ira Flatow interviewed the creative team behind the musical and talked to them about how they portrayed mental illness as well as their consultations to mental health professionals during the creative process.

I enjoyed the show when I saw it and now I appreciate it a little more. I sure hit the jackpot as each of the shows I saw (Mary Poppins being the other) yielded a bog entry!

Just for a sample, here is the Next to Normal number from the Tony Awards (which is a large part of the reason I choose to see this show).

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicsist Blog.

Milwaukee Mayor attacked after leaving State Fair

"Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett was recovering Sunday morning after beating beaten with a pipe after leaving the Wisconsin State Fair with his family Saturday night.

"The mayor is said to be in good condition this morning.

"The incident occurred at about 10:45 p.m. in the 8800 block of W. Orchard St. in West Allis, according to a joint statement from the West Allis police and Milwaukee police.

"Barrett and his family were returning to their car when they saw an altercation and heard a woman shouting that someone should call 911. Barrett began calling 911 when the suspect who had been attacking the woman, ran toward Barrett and began striking him with a metal pipe.

"The suspect then fled the scene. Police are still searching for the man, who police said had a criminal arrest record."

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/53347442.html

"Doyle won't seek re-election in 2010"

"Gov. Jim Doyle on Monday will announce that he won't seek re-election to a third term in 2010, prompting the state's first wide-open gubernatorial race since 1982."

http://www.jsonline.com/news/statepolitics/53302852.html


I assume there will be plenty of pretenders to the throne, but I wouldn't want to run this mess, or California, or any of the other ones.

JT blogs

How do I find the JT blogs? Nothing but nothing. Except for staff blogs, it is dead. How will we adjust if all of that venom comes here? I'll bail from here as I'm not into full court presses of rhetoric from either side. A once in a while walk through the slum is fine, but not daily living.

Crock Pot Cook'in

I make it more gooder......

For those who like to use your Crock Pot, the following link has a BUNCH of receipts/recipes to try.

Crock Pot Cooking

"Drop in crime coincides with exodus of illegal immigrants"

"A marked drop in Phoenix-area crime coincides with the recession and a drop in the number of illegal immigrants in Arizona.

"Phoenix has seen a 25 percent decline in the number of crimes during the first five months of 2009 compared to the same time period in 2007 when the economy began to slow. Violent crime in Phoenix is down 12 percent, according crime statistics from the Phoenix Police Department.

"The Mesa Police Department reports a 19 percent decrease in total crimes for the first half of 2009 versus the first half of 2007, including a 10 percent drop in violent crime. Tempe has seen a 25 percent total drop.

"At the same time, the state’s illegal immigrant population has decreased by as much as one-third thanks to the down U.S. economy, tougher enforcement polices by the federal government and Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, as well as the state’s employer sanctions law which goes after businesses who hire undocumented workers, said Steven Camarota, director of the Center for Immigration Studies.

"CIS estimates Arizona’s illegal immigrant population has gone from 579,000 in 2007 to 388,000 this year — 191,000-person drop."

http://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/stories/2009/07/27/daily89.html

Thanks to rob_92183 on the Journal Times site for providing the above link.

Of course, just because someone is willing to break the law to enter this country doesn't mean that they're willing to break the law, right? Up is down and black is white and illegal is legal. Don't let logic or common sense get in the way of critical thought.

More benefits for criminals!

Party on!

“Surprise squirrel” tribute pics flood the web

A cheeky squirrel that muscled in on a holiday snap has become a viral smash on the net, inspiring a deluge of tribute pics.

Melissa Brandts and her husband set the automatic timer on their camera for a romantic snap at the idyllic Lake Minnewanka in Banff National Park, Canada – only for the squirrel to sneak into the pic at the last minute.

The squirrel has since gone on to become an international star after the snap was uploaded onto the National Geographic.com website, inspiring a deluge of Photoshop tributes.

Sites like Bussfeed.com have been flooded with doctored pics showing the attention-seeking rodent crashing iconic images like the Last Supper and the moon landing.

Mrs Brandts said: "We had our camera set up on some rocks and were getting ready to take the picture when this curious little ground squirrel appeared, became intrigued with the sound of the focusing camera and popped right into our shot!

"It was a once in a lifetime moment - we were laughing about this little guy for days!"

Virus on Facebook

Dont open any random videos sent to you on FB today. Huge virus going around. Update your antivirus and run a scan.

60 Year Song

PolyScribe Metamorphosis Art Animation

4 Artists Painting at Once



"An evolving painting created by four artists working simultaneously on the same digital canvas. The painting process was unplanned and free form. The artists took cues from each others actions and interpretation of various shapes/colors. Communication was made possible by text chat. The total elapsed time was 4 hours."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqD_3KWpsTY

AHHHH Make it stop!

My head has entered BUBBLE GUM ROCK



And don't even start with The Archies.

Oh, those Nursery Rhymes!

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!
Congratulations Beejay!

These are a little different from what I remember!!


Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

********************

Mary had a little lamb.

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

********************

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

********************

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the pie man,

'What have you got there?'

Said the pie man unto Simon,

'Pies, you dumb ass' !!

********************

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

********************

Hey diddle, diddle, the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

********************

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

********************

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

******************************************************

You have to be old enough to appreciate this.
If you don't understand, it is because you are too young.

Help Needed

Does anyone work for or know someone who makes banners and promotional materials (like kitchen magnets) who would like to donate one sign and some magnets to a community group for a safety promotion. If anyone needs more info please email me @ cjlarsen68@wi.rr.com. Full details of what this is will be coming out soon.

Racine News Also Upgrades Site

http://racinenews.org/2009/08/11/site-changes-comming-soon-please-read/

You have to re-register with the new platform, but it allows members to create their own unique blog sites.

All these options in Racine for the web. I don't think it's negativity. It reminds me of how this city was at the turn of the last century when we had hundreds of entrepreneurs and inventors trying out new things, pushing the envelope. Of course, the powers-that-be consider these things a challenge to their authority. They publicly lament a lack of vision and perseverance in creating new opportunities, while privately doing all they can to stifle those they consider a threat to their domains.

There are a lot of different kinds of parties, Racine. Party on!

"Les Paul, music genius, dead at 94"

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/53141582.html

He was a Waukesha native. He literally invented the electric guitar:

"As he practiced his new instrument and listened to jazz bands from Chicago over the radio, Paul noticed that an acoustic guitar, which got its amplification from the string ringing off the hollow body, could not compete for volume in a big band. It needed a boost, he thought.

"Only 13 years old at the time, he reasoned that a phonograph pickup -- the little device that takes the sound from a record and makes it loud enough to hear -- could provide the extra volume if placed under the strings and sent to a radio speaker.

"Thus was born a rudimentary electric guitar, using the cartridge and stylus from a phonograph, in 1927."

He was a master of it.

"Aside from making rock-and-roll possible with his creation of the electric guitar, Paul also contributed immensely to the advance of studio recording over the years with inventions like multitrack recording, reverb, and more than a dozen others."

After a terrible accident, Les Paul was told that he might not ever play again. He told the doctors to set his arm bones so that he could still hold a guitar and he would take it from there. And he did.

I have a buddy who collects guitars and met Les Paul a number of times. I called him to deliver the news. He said, "I'm gonna pull out one of my Les Pauls [guitars made by Gibson] and play it for awhile." I bet Les will be playing along in heaven.

Thank you so much, Les Paul.

"The Journal Times scheduled to launch new site Thursday morning"

http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2009/08/12/local_news/doc4a833b69a170f964595459.txt

I'm on pins and needles.

-----------------------------

EDIT: I'm bumping this so people have a place to comment if they have difficulty logging onto the Journal Times new site.

The above link doesn't work anymore. Here's the new story: http://www.journaltimes.com/article_903341f8-881c-11de-ba8e-001cc4c002e0.html?mode=story

The Equinox at Saturn

I just got an email with the release of some unprocessed but spectacular images of Saturn's rings at the equinox taken by the Cassini spacecraft. Once every 15 years (approximately) the Sun hits the rings exactly edge on. At this time, the rings almost completely disappear from view. Here is my favorite taken just hours after the equinox (and you can already see hints of the rings returning!)
Remember, this is an unprocessed raw image so you can see all kinds of junk in there. I love this one since you really get a sense of how thin the rings are. The rings are made up of small bits of icy rock the size of houses and smaller and are only about 100 feet thick. You can actually see through them! Look at the stars beneath the rings. We normally don't see them because the rings are too bright. Make the rings dark, and you can see right through them.

Check out the other images as well.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

What's the Buzz, Tell Me What's Happenin'...to the Bees

I like to give shout outs to citizen science projects even when they are outside my field. I was listening to Science Friday last week and they had a segment on the vanishing bees. They talked about urban bee keeping and colony collapse disorder as well as a few citizen science projects to observe and chart how many bees are where.

The Great Pollinator Project focuses on watching bees in New York City. BeeSpotter currently is collecting data from people in Illinois but will expand to other states. My favorite is the Great Sunflower Project. They collect data nationwide The Great Sunflower Project is signing people up for 2010. They will send you free sunflower seeds to plant. You then watch and see how long it takes five bees to visit your sunflower.

So start planning for 2010 and get your sunflower seeds now!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

George Banks Loves Astronomy Again

I have been traveling a lot and haven't had time to post. One of my stops was New York where I got to take in the Broadway production of Mary Poppins. It is different than the movie, although many of the same themes are present.

One little addition I noticed is Michael, the son, had a small telescope and an interest in astronomy. At one point George (the father) says, "I used to love astronomy when I was his age...until Ms. Andrews (his nanny) beat it out of me".

And there is a heapin' pile of truth there. The way science is taught in school, portrayed by the media, and even talked about in everyday life pretty much beats the love of science out of people. When I tell people I majored in physics and work at an observatory, I get all kinds of, "You must be really smart" or "Science is just so hard" comments. People say this around their children without thinking who soak up these messages that science is something they can't do. We really do our best to beat the love of science out of people.

I remember the old Carl Sagan quote, "We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology." This is truly a recipe for disaster. The lack of understanding of the scientific process and principles taints debates on many important issues including global warming, stem cell research, genetic engineering, evolution, environmental issues, net neutrality, autism, cancer clusters, and a whole host of other issues. Misinformation is so readily available on the internet and most people are poorly equipped to evaluate the claims and counter claims.

In the end, after Mary Poppins sets everything right, the family goes outside and looks at the stars. George spies a shooting star and asks Michael for his telescope to look at it. Of course, you don't use a telescope to see a shooting star, but its really Mary Poppins flying away leaving the happy family so I will forgive this little breach of protocol. May more of us follow George's footsteps and rediscover our childhood love of science.

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Another the Boppster missed......

Meteor Shower Lights the Nighttime Sky



http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/53046582.html

Hale Bopp, you're slipping!

Newfound Planet

Orbits Backward

Now the planets are becoming irregular too.
This made me laugh, it's a quote from
space.com...

"Planets orbit stars in the same direction
that the stars rotate.
They all do.
Except one."

There is always one in every bunch,
I thought for sure Hale would have
reported on this one,
I found it terribly funny :)

Darn It: No More Swearing at Kenosha Cops?

"Swearing in front of your mother may have earned you a bar of soap, swearing in front of a Kenosha Police officer in the line of duty could cost you $118.

"The city’s Public Safety and Welfare Committee is backing an ordinance change that would allow Kenosha police officers and firefighters to issue citations if they hear profane, vile, filthy or obscene language while engaged in duty."

http://www.kenoshanews2.com/home/cuss_a_cop_get_a__ticket_6150225.html

But can you say "testicles"?

I thought disorderly conduct citations already covered this.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sweet Danish layer cakes! How are you? How about that stormy weather on Sunday? Of course, I was astral projecting and teleporting all over the place when the atmosphere started to get unstable. It always seems to be that way. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that Mother Nature had it out for me. Anyway, the conditions affected my telemetry and I over or under-shot a number of appointments. Hmph.

No runs, no hits, no errors again this week. No desperate cries for help. No whispered rumors in the night. No revealing pictures stolen in a moment. Nobody who wants to know the truth about tomorrow. Well, except maybe for Mayor Dickert, who recently said in an interview in the Racine Post: "I know what Racine will look like in 10 years. Do you?" (http://news.racinepost.com/2009/08/positively-draft.html) Why yes, Mr. Mayor, I do know what Racine will look like in 10 years. That’s my job. You stick to the mayoring, please, and I’ll stick to the fortune telling. I have enough competition as it is. And if anyone wants to know what Racine will really look like in 10 years, my rates are reasonable.

I’ve just started on the major spring cleaning and painting that I’ve been putting off, just a little. Junior is useless as he continues to claim that he is a dancing robot and not programmed to wash walls or vacuum carpeting. What kind of robot eats Oreos and drinks milk? And has dirty laundry? So I have to work the cleaning and painting in between my regularly and irregularly scheduled appointments. Don’t procrastinate, dearies. Never put off till today what you could’ve done yesterday, because then it would already be done. Thus spake Zoltar.

As a community service, I feel obligated to lend my talents in the search for the owner of the dog which recently bit a 72-year-old man in Racine. The gentleman has now been able to identify the breed of dog as “a fawn colored boxer, boxer/mix type,” according to Racine Uncovered: http://racineuncovered.wordpress.com/2009/08/11/update-dog-bite-victim-identifies-breed-of-dog/. I have been telepathically searching for the dog’s master on my own, but it is difficult to cut through all of the chatter of so many minds. Perhaps if I can connect with the dog, he or she can lead me to the owner. I urge anyone who knows anything about this dog or who owns it, to please call the Racine Health Department at (262) 636-9203. You can do it anonymously. Surreptitiously, even.

Oh my, I really don’t have a lot more to blog about this week. Physical labor sure can take it out of you. But it also puts something back in. It can feel really good to get out and exercise, or stay in and exercise. We’re designed to work. And to rest. That’s what I’m going to do.

Ask me about your work issues or labor pains: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Thank you for reading my blog, sweethearts. I wish all of the Irregulars, and all of Racine, a wonderful week. May your grundies stay dry as you splash through the fountain of life. Oldsmobile!

Ponderisms

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a cell that takes pictures these days, no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

"MPS committee to consider boarding school option"

By Erin Richards of the Journal Sentinel
Aug. 10, 2009 12:40 p.m.

"Can Milwaukee support a public, urban boarding school for at-risk teenagers?

"That's a question the Milwaukee Board of School Directors' Committee on Innovation/School Reform will take up tomorrow night, when it considers a proposal from School Board President Michael Bonds to partner with an organization that can help open such a school in 2010 for students in 9th through 12th grades."

http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/news/52890612.html

Is this part of the solution? Should we be looking at something like this in Racine to break the cycle of broken lives begetting broken lives? How do we stop another generation from imploding on the city streets? When is it in the best interest of the child to remove him or her from home? Should we make this available for all grades?

I don't know. I'm just asking questions.

Another no-no word on the Journal Times site

Testicles.

I used it in a comment and the comment was moderated for being "vulgar."

What's the acceptable term? Oysters, balls, eggs, bollocks, cojones, what?

My doctor says testicles. Is he vulgar, too?

Some guy on their site developed a fetish for me and kept calling me names. I get so tired of the trolls. I offered to meet with him to discuss the issues. Like all the cowards before him, he backed down from meeting face to face. So I suggested that if his testicles ever drop in the future, he should contact me and we could discuss things then. That was deleted.

Calling people communists, fascists, and Hitler is OK. Mentioning a part of the human anatomy is not. Ain't that a shot to the nuts?