A Graphic Depiction of Economic Bailout:

Greener Grass...

It's important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements, to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence...to risk...to stretch the limits of our humble existences...

But one must also be careful. . . .

Sometimes, you can reach too far!

But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember...

Your Government...

Is there to help you!!!!

A Sweet Inaugural Ride

I was just surfing the web and found out that, in addition to several astronauts, the inaugural parade will include NASA's new Lunar Electric Rover (LER...you all know that NASA stands for National Association of Silly Acronyms I assume). The LER is not exactly your father's lunar rover. The original little rovers could cover a few miles. This rover is about the size of a pickup trick and is designed to support two astronauts on 14 day treks across the lunar surface. The cabin is pressurized so astronauts can wear normal clothes inside or suit up to go out and explore on foot.
Now I know that there are those who question the utility of the space program. Looking up the specs of this guy, they are developing new high capacity batteries for it. These batteries could power a sedan for about 500 miles without recharging. The research being done on this vehicle has a direct, short term practical application here on Earth.

I sure look forward to seeing this guy driving down the street for the inaugural parade tomorrow!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Happy Monday OPEN Blog

Happy Monday one and all!
I'm feeling a bit 'off' today, kinda like this guy!
I'm just falling apart, how are you guys doing?
Anything exciting happening this week??

Checkout What is Happening Around the World

One of the most interesting sites I have ever seen. Just put your mouse on a city anywhere in the world and the newspaper headlines pop up... Double click and the page gets larger....

World Wide Newspapers

Also, if you look at the European papers, the far left side of Germany will pop up as The Stars & Stripes (European edition, of course). AND, this site changes everyday with the publication of new editions of the paper. Hope you enjoy this..

The Star Wars You Never Knew...

As told by someone who has not seen any of the movies...

Everyones lookin to save a buck

$7 SEX ......... A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.' He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye. The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?' The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married so we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare. SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT.....

Music!

http://www.theradio.com/

Cool site... and I think I linked it right KK!

ok, guess not.. http://www.theradio.com/

How stupid are spammers? *vent*

Thanks for your ideas.. I hope I did this right.

I Heard there is going to be a job opening in Racine

Here's a job application for you........

A Hero to Me

Last night, there was a large garage fire in Caledonia. The fire was so intense that multiple municipalities sent crews. Unfortunately, two firefighters were injured. One slipped on the ice and the other was burned. Thankfully, both will be okay.

The fire had fully engulfed the garage (which was detached from the house) and the radiant heat was so intense that the house had caught fire. A firefighter bravely put himself between the garage and the house and was putting water on the house trying to save it. In the process, the radiant heat burned him through his protective turndown gear. Even knowing he was burned, he continued to fight the fire and was part of a crew that went inside the house until his LT told him to get checked out.

He was taken to the burn center at Columbia St. Mary's in Milwaukee and thankfully was treated and released. 2nd & 3rd degree burns to his arm from his shoulder to his elbow.

In the end, the house was not saved.

I got the call from my mom @ 6:36pm. It was my brother that was burned and this is why he is a hero to me.

http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2009/01/17/local_news/doc4971752d06215887863553.txt#tp_newCommentAnchor

Something to take the edge off of all the bad news...

Femmes. Add it up. Turn up the speakers and dance. Let yourself go and forget about reality for four minutes and 59 seconds.

Meet Mr. October: Jamal al-Badawi

Just in case you don't have enough calendars lying around the house for this year, you can download a free copy of the National Counterterrorism Center Calendar. Or you can view the online interactive version. The calendar provides pictures of wanted terrorists, important dates (April 9th in Martyr's Day in Tunisia) and advice on how far away to run from various size bombs.

According to the press release, "This year’s print calendar contains 160 pages of information on known terrorist groups, individual terrorists, and technical information on topics such as biological and chemical threats and explosives." I thought we were NOT supposed to publish technical information on this type of stuff lest we be "helping the terrorists" (a crime of which I have frequently been accused but guess it must be okay since the National Counterterrorism Center does it).

So back off terrorists...I have a calendar!

Something different besides the Mayor, Death and Destruction

FEMA Detainment/Concentration Camps

Have you heard the latest rumor on the web? Our government is supposedly planning for something big by constructing camps all over the United States for the detainment of, well, who knows? I post at another site where some loons and conspiracy nuts hang out. (I know, big surprise, right?) Anyway, the latest buzz in the conspiracy community is that Uncle Sam is using FEMA to build these detainment camps for some unspecified future catastrophe. Are they camps for Obama to house all the people he's going to round up after the inauguration? Is there some impending natural disaster that the government isn't telling us about but is preparing for? Are they for housing aliens? Who knows? Here's a link to a Google search so you can speculate for yourself: http://www.google.com/search?q=fema+camps.

Lee Enterprises avoids default (barely)

Lee Enterprises avoids default on Pulitzer debt. Read all about it here.

http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/090116/20090116005836.html?.v=1

We Bought Mom a Gun for Personal Protection

Her aim seems a little high for his "toodles," though.

Tell Your Alderman That Becker Must Go

Unbelievably, unfathomably, some Racine aldermen do not feel the need to remove Mayor Gary Becker from office. Even though Becker was caught in an attempt to have sex with a 14 year old girl, even though his personal computer contained nude pictures of girls as young as ten years old, even though he has partaken in over 1,800 online conversations of an explicitly sexual nature with minors, the Racine Common Council does not see a need to remove him from office.

Who are these people? These are our "representatives"? Does keeping Becker in office represent your view?

Please contact your alderman and let him or her know how you feel about this matter. You can find his/her phone number and email address here: http://www.cityofracine.org/CityGov/commoncouncil/. I've also added a link to our sidebar under Features.

No decent person would allow Becker to remain in office for a second longer. Many of our representatives, though, are playing politics here. They think this is about Becker, and not about the children he has destroyed with his diseased mind. Such a callous disregard for public decency and morality is beyond the pale. Unless they are of the same ilk as Becker (and who knows at this point?), there is no credible reason for their inaction.

Please also pray for the children that Gary Becker has maimed. Thank you.

Educators, I need you!

I have begun tutoring a young woman through our Adult Literacy Program in Florida. During our first meeting today, I realized that she cannot seem to grasp single digit multiplication, but does fine with double digits. Anyone out there have any hints for me. Why would she be able to multiply 12 x 7 and get 84, but 2 x 7 escapes her?

It was not a one time thing...as I went over the tables, same thing happened, struggled with answers until I got to 12 x (fill in the blank), then like a fog was lifted.

I am not an educator and I have no idea how I got involved in this, but I am wondering if you guys have any suggestions for me.

Thanks.

It's A Girl

We received the following from Why Not? today:

It's a girl.

Maia Lynn born at 6:00p.m. after only 6 hours of labor. She weighs 8.2 lbs and 19.7 inches long or metric 3710g and 50cm.

She is a very healthy and may I say extrememly cute Irregular baby girl.

Just wanted to update all of my Irregular friends.

Ok, I know it's late

Our Mayor's name is Becker
He thinks with his pecker
He's gonna do more time than Hannibal Lechter

He's gonna have some fun
Hidden from the sun
A big guy named Bubba will put it in his bun

They'll throw away the key
Just you wait and see
The guys on D block will be your new family

So bye bye Mayor
We'll see ya much later
She was only fourteen so you shouldn't try to date her

Hold Out For a Dreamliner!

The Guardian is reporting that Airbus wants to offer Obama a new A-380 Superjumbo jet to replace the 747 currently used as Air Force One.

Now nothing against the A380...I have never been on one and only seem them parked on the ground at LAX. They look very impressive and I am sure would serve him well.

However, Obama wants to be the green president and it would behoove him to hold out for the new efficient Boeing 787 Dreamliner. It is not quite as big, but come on, how big does a presidential plane need to be? Some of the secret service can fly on another plane if needed. The 787 can hold a few hundred people and it is an American plane. He has told us we may need to make some sacrifices...well, choosing a 787 over an A380 is a small symbolic sacrifice he can make that would also save us a few bucks.

Either way, I know the plane would need quite a few modifications so I woudn't expect either one to come into service for several years...he would probably need to win reelection just to get to use it if it was ordered today!

Time to Start the List

So it's about that time that we should start listing the people that need to go. Racine has too many people that are going to be "understanding" about Mayor McPervert. This is from the Journal Times about asking for a resignation (sorry for the cut and paste hack job):

6th District Alderman Sandy Weidner - "We don’t know anything until we hear it from him,” Weidner said. “I want to give him an opportunity to get his feet back on the ground and make a statement to the people he has served.”

3rd District Alderman Michael Shields said he didn’t want to pressure the mayor.“If he knows he did it, he should resign on his own. He shouldn’t be told,” Shields said.

4th District Alderman Jim Kaplan also said Becker needs to make his own decision.

Ray DeHahn of the 7th District - At this point, he said he isn’t asking for the mayor’s resignation because he hasn’t been found guilty of anything. “You have to go through the judicial system,”

So there you have it Racine. There's your leadership. A great place on a great lake... just not great leadership.

Bumper Stickers

Where could I find "Becker for Mayor" bumper stickers? I really want some, but only because I am sick and would make a buck off of the back of those more unfortunate. Particularly Gary Becker.

Holey Moley II

Hey!!! Why aren't they reporting this:

State of Wisconsin vs. Gary Becker
Racine County Case Number 2009CF000047

Charge(s)
Count No. Statute Description Severity
1 948.02(2) 2nd Degree Sexual Assault of Child Felony C
2 948.07(1) Child Enticement-Sexual Contact Felony D
3 948.12(1m) Possession of Child Pornography Felony D
4 948.075(1r) Use a Computer to Facilitate a Child Sex Crime Felony C
5 948.11(2)(a) Expose Child to Harmful Material Felony I
6 946.12(2) Misconduct/Office-Act/Excess Authority Felony I


The most shocking:


948.02 Sexual assault of a child. (1) FIRST DEGREE
SEXUAL ASSAULT. (am) Whoever has sexual contact or sexual
intercourse with a person who has not attained the age of 13 years
and causes great bodily harm to the person is guilty of a Class A
felony.
(b) Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who has not
attained the age of 12 years is guilty of a Class B felony.
(c) Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who has not
attained the age of 16 years by use or threat of force or violence
is guilty of a Class B felony.
(d) Whoever has sexual contact with a person who has not
attained the age of 16 years by use or threat of force or violence
is guilty of a Class B felony if the actor is at least 18 years of age
when the sexual contact occurs.
(e) Whoever has sexual contact with a person who has not
attained the age of 13 years is guilty of a Class B felony.
(2) SECOND DEGREE SEXUAL ASSAULT. Whoever has sexual
contact or sexual intercourse with a person who has not attained
the age of 16 years is guilty of a Class C felony.


948.07 Child enticement. Whoever, with intent to commit
any of the following acts, causes or attempts to cause any child
who has not attained the age of 18 years to go into any vehicle,
building, room or secluded place is guilty of a Class D felony:
(1) Having sexual contact or sexual intercourse with the child
in violation of s. 948.02, 948.085, or 948.095.
(2) Causing the child to engage in prostitution.
(3) Exposing a sex organ to the child or causing the child to
expose a sex organ in violation of s. 948.10.
(4) Recording the child engaging in sexually explicit conduct.
(5) Causing bodily or mental harm to the child.
(6) Giving or selling to the child a controlled substance or controlled
substance analog in violation of ch. 961.

Update: To fully understand KK's question. I apologize that this is graphic:


(5) “Sexual contact” means any of the following:
(a) Any of the following types of intentional touching, whether
direct or through clothing, if that intentional touching is either for
the purpose of sexually degrading or sexually humiliating the
complainant or sexually arousing or gratifying the defendant:
1. Intentional touching by the defendant or, upon the defendant’s
instruction, by another person, by the use of any body part
or object, of the complainant’s intimate parts.
2. Intentional touching by the complainant, by the use of any
body part or object, of the defendant’s intimate parts or, if done
upon the defendant’s instructions, the intimate parts of another
person.
(b) Intentional penile ejaculation of ejaculate or intentional
emission of urine or feces by the defendant or, upon the defendant’s
instruction, by another person upon any part of the body
clothed or unclothed of the complainant if that ejaculation or
emission is either for the purpose of sexually degrading or sexually
humiliating the complainant or for the purpose of sexually
arousing or gratifying the defendant.
(c) For the purpose of sexually degrading or humiliating the
complainant or sexually arousing or gratifying the defendant,
intentionally causing the complainant to ejaculate or emit urine or
feces on any part of the defendant’s body, whether clothed or
unclothed.
(6) “Sexual intercourse” means vulvar penetration as well as
cunnilingus, fellatio or anal intercourse between persons or any
other intrusion, however slight, of any part of a person’s body or
of any object into the genital or anal opening either by the defendant
or upon the defendant’s instruction. The emission of semen is
not required.

Is That a Central Bulge in Your Pocket or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

Stephen Colbert takes on new findings about the Milky Way Galaxy.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Little Victories - America's Galaxy Is Big

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

And he does a pretty good job of it...gets the numbers right and throws in some pretty good lingo.

JTI Christmas Party South

Present: Hale-Bopp and Beejay
Absent: Everyone else.
Weather: Sunny and 60

After discovering that the restaurant Beejay suggested does not exist anymore, Hale-Bopp and Beejay found each other and got into a heated dispute over whether Hale-Bopp was wearing red or blue. The eventually "agreed to disagree".

They beat a hasty retreat to an emergency backup bar and grill. No one put ice in their wine. After introductions and ordering food, we proceeded to have good conversation, especially about those who could not attend.

A good time was had by both and we hope you can all make the next JTI South party!

Racine News

Has anyone else registered at Racinenews.org? I did, but haven't gotten my email giving me a password! How are you supposed to post if they never send you a password?
Seems like a good site. They had the school closing before anyone else did.

Dancing with a Dog

I saw this a while ago on Real Debate Wisconsin. Thought is was so cool. Some of you may have dogs. Mine is a well mannered golden retriever. She's friendly,obedient,and smart. Well trained. She's been my loyal companion for seven years. Wish I had the time and patience to teach her something like this on this video.

Kids do the dumbest things.

Ok here's my dumb kid award for the day. I ask my daughter to go get the snow off the car so I can take her to school this morning. I look out the window and she's using the shovel on the hood of the car. Lets see can anyone top that?

Amazing Striped Icebergs

Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by Layers of snow that react to different conditions. Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet Fills up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form. When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can Freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a Green stripe. Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sedim ent, picked up When the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.

Antarctica Frozen Wave Pictures - Nature is amazing!
The water froze the instant the wave broke through the
Ice. That's what it is like in Antarctica where it is the
Coldest weather in decades. Water freezes the instant

It comes in contact with the air. The temperature of the
Water is already some degrees below freezing.

Just look at how the wave froze in mid-air!!!

On the fence with this one

Ok, I am usually decisive with this kind of thing, but I think I come down on:

Not criminal, but an ethical violation that warrants immediate dismissal.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,479817,00.html

Basically, a Seattle court has ruled that a teacher cannot be criminally charged for having sex with an 18 year old student. The court states that the state law is "vague" and only intended to stop teachers from having sex with students under 18.

Holey Moley

Our esteemed Mayor has been arrested for solicitation of a minor. What a town we live in....

http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2009/01/14/local_news/doc496deda1079ed663015381.txt


UPDATE: According to JSONLINE, there will be a news conference at 10AM.

http://www.jsonline.com/newswatch/37567049.html

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my sweethearts! It’s so nice to be blogging with you again.

I apologize again for missing the Christmas Party. I was very busy with a wealthy client who was very generous in his desire for me to stay with him and read the bumps on his head. It was well worth it, ka-ching.

Which brings me to the subject of this week’s blog. I, Madame Zoltar, am not immune to the influences of the current economic crisis. Many of my clients can no longer afford my services. Those that can, usually purchase less these days. It is beginning to become a bit tight around here.

I notice that my brethren in Korea are also feeling the pinch: http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/12/117_36753.html. And here’s a site that says the average fortune teller salary is only $23,000: http://www.simplyhired.com/a/salary/search/q-Fortune+Teller. Who can live on that?

So, I have been forced to consider alternate sources of income, and I would appreciate everyone’s suggestions and ideas. One of the things that I have thought about is online fortune telling, psychic readings, etc. This is a site, http://www.liveperson.com/experts/spirituality-religion/psychic-reading/, that offers psychic readings at minute or email rates. Emails can cost over $100 each. Here’s a psychic who specializes in reuniting lovers that is “$18.80 per minute ($1128/hour),” including a currency converter: Over a thousand dollars an hour? I think I could survive on that.

Here’s a job on craigslist in Providence, RI: http://providence.craigslist.org/med/967187156.html. It doesn’t sound very promising, though, and they welcome amateurs. I hate scabs.

I am also considering relocating, if necessary, to secure my financial future. The Wisconsin Lottery saw revenue decline with the economic crisis while other states’ lotteries posted increases. Similarly, while I am beginning to eat the putty out of my windows in sub arctic southeast Wisconsin, psychics in Virginia prosper: http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/1208/580561_video.html.

Thus, my friends, I ask for your advice on how to supplement my income in these recessionary times. Please note that I will consider manual labor as a last resort only; i.e., after I am dead. Post your suggestions below or send them to me, along with your comments and questions, to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com. I look forward to your responses.

Guadalajara, my precious peanuts.

Best Commercials

As promised at our get together, here is your chance to identify your favorite commercials.

"West Racine to hold developer open house"

"The developers of a proposed $7.2 million housing and retail project in West Racine will let the public have a look at the plan.

"The Landmark Group will hold an open house from 6-7 p.m. Jan. 21 at 3308 Washington Ave., immediately west of Wilson’s Coffee & Tea. Anyone interested can stop in to see the artist renderings, meet the developer and ask questions."

http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2009/01/12/local_news/doc496bb06933d8f133333429.txt


I know, I blogged about this a week ago. More importantly, I don't live in West Racine, so it's none of my business. That, however, has rarely stopped me before.

I do appreciate the area. As a kid, I took the bus from the north side to Gary's Hobby Shop where it was originally in West Racine, before they moved to Uptown, then Elmwood Plaza. Nelson's is legendary. I remember seeing movies at the Capitol Theater and then getting a burger or pizza at DeRango's. Hell, I'm so old that I remember the North Shore and the station in West Racine. And I remember the "experts" saying that commuter rail was kaput. Must've been the same experts that said the Venetian Theater had to be razed. For thirty years I've watched them tear things down in this city. Now West Racine sports the latest open wound in our urban landscape.

Anyway, Beejay suggested that senior housing would be better suited to the neighborhood than the public housing that they're currently proposing. I couldn't agree more. The developers, The Landmark Group, have a snazzy website, http://www.landmarkdevelopment.biz/, with examples of senior housing projects that they've done elsewhere. Why not in West Racine? Seniors are clean and quiet, two positive characteristics that I associate with West Racine - at least, currently.

If you live in West Racine, or if you care about truly preserving diversity in our city, I suggest that you attend the open house with The Landmark Group.

Tax time is coming.

So with all of the options out there does anyone have any suggestions on a good one? I Have gone to H&R for the last 20 years. Their expensive. Has anyone ever tried Turbo-tax? How about the free Gov tax site? Anyone here know how to do taxes? Anyone ever get audited because of bad a tax prep? I don't think I'll do it alone this year because I'm a big chicken (scared I'll forget something) The last thing any of us needs now is unlce Sam coming after us for more money!

"Bernanke: More bank bailouts needed"

"Fed chairman endorses economic stimulus, but also says more help for banks is needed to fix the economy.

"Bernanke suggested that more banks and financial firms are likely to need additional capital injections from the government, and that further guarantees of their debt could be necessary, in return for the federal government receiving further equity in the firms."

http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/13/news/economy/bernanke_speech/


They don't know what the banks are doing with the first TRILLION of OUR money, and they aren't asking, but Ben Bernanke has divined that the banks need more, the banks that caused this mess by playing games with everyone's life savings in an effort to swindle us out of even more money.

I agree that we should give them something. I suggest a bullet to the brain of the CEOs of the first four or five banks that "need" more of our money. The rest should fall into line after that.

Marathon Musings

As some of you know, I just did the Disney Marathon (#13 Disney, #14 overall) on Sunday and am on vacation which is why I haven't been around as much. Anywho, a few observations from the marathon.

This year my atheistic tendencies paid off. My race number was 2666. I know at least a few literalist Christians who would be more than a little freaked out by that, especially the group that all wore yellow t-shirst about running for Christ (I behaved myself...I did not run to a single one of them threateningly brandishing my race number). Out of curiosity, I looked at the race results and saw they do not issue number 666 but they do issue 1666, 2666, 3666, etc. And to think the Southern Baptists used to boycott for Disney not catering to Christians.

In the Disney Marathon, you will get passed by Mickey Mouse. You will get passed by Minnie Mouse. You will get passed by the woman dressed as a fairy and the man dressed as a fairy (maybe that's why they want to boyctott Disney...they let men run dressed as fairies!) You will see Disney Villans and characters along the course and runners stopping to get their pictures taken during the race.

Sharpie is a sponsor and puts up lots of signs with witticisms along the course. One read, "I almost has a psychic girlfriend, but she dumped me before we met". Ah, Madame Zoltar, what might have been!

There is a fake gospel choir at mile 26...fake beause it is recorded music and a bunch of people in gospel style robes swaying back and forth clapping along.

After the marathon on Disney property is the one place you can wear a finisher's medal and not look like a complete dork (or at least be in the presence of enough other dorks it doesn't matter).

Already looking forard to 2010.

Use Your Head for More Then a Hat Rack - Safety First

You know about the law requiring you call for utility locating before you do any excavation. This guy decided not to call. The pictures below are a result of this guy using a post hole digger without calling for “locates” and he hit an underground cross country gas pipe.This is what a high pressure gas main is capable of.

One More....

"More than Likely" - PM Dawn and Boy George. (Stop Laughing and give it a listen!)


What's the use in trying
If all my senses say no place exists for you
What's the use in hoding out my arms
I couldn't find reasons if I tried to...
What's the use in floating if
all it does is tell
you someone's under you
What's the use in being if I learn to be
neglectful to all the things
that mean the most to most of you...
But I can hear me say...

( chorus )
More than likely I'm the one you're living for
If I find out I am then I'll
finally understand
when I say...
More than likely I'm the one you're living for
More than likely (living for)...

What's the use in praying
For all the things that mean so much to none
of you...
What's the use in pouring out my heart into
situations I could cry thorough
Oh, what's the use in closing all the doors
that let the loving into you...
What's the use of loving If I learn
Not to feel anything at all, even if it means
the most to you....
But I can hear me say

( chorus )

Even If you find that I'm transcending most
of my mind...
Through the often closing doors of what's
to come, and what's in store.
Even if because you find I'm spending most
of my love...
To the often closed minds that must inquire
what you're living for...
What's the use in clinging (let go)
To all the hopes that leave you somewhere
next to lies
What's the use in buying all my time,
to try and figure out the frame that likes to
communicate through signs
I can hear me say...

( chorus )

Lost Video Spanish Version

So I was playing Guitar Hero Would Tour with Daughter Wacko, and had a flashback to 1984. Late at night, drinking beers on the sly, sneaking smokes in the back yard listening to WMSE. They played everything. Including the occasional spanish rock tune. I remember hearing and taping this song, and lost the tape. How shocked I was when it showed up on the Guitar Hero playlist. Enjoy the video (which is a little creepy) of "Escuela de Calor" by Radio Futura. And if anyone could translate the lyrics for me I would appreciate it!!!!!

The Return of the Lost Video

Get the speakers turned back up kids, as the moldy oldies and missing wonders are back.

Up for your listening pleasure is a song from 1982. Keny Logins was going Footloose and Journey was playing at every high school dance. Someone get the idea to put Kenny Loggins and Steve Perry together for a duet. Two very powerful voices in a song we forgot....

Please enjoy "Dont Fight It".


(Sorry for the MIA guys. Consider me back at least until the election gets closer!)

Little Grin For Today

A Jewish businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a Rabbi and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he had finished, the Rabbi said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap.

Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."

A year later the businessman went back to the Rabbi and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom- tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket and gave it to the Rabbi as a donation in thanks for his advice.

The Rabbi recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the businessman.

"You went to the beach?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"



"Chapter 11"

Just for Laughs

Oh, I loved Johnny Carson! Enjoy...this is from good ole Mary!

Do You Read Editorials?

I rarely do. I have never understood the point of them. Do editors write them because they feel obligated? I was looking over the Journal Times' editorial on raising chickens in Caledonia. All I could think is, "What?" How does raising chickens in Caledonia affect the Journal Times? What expertise do they bring to the subject? Does the editorial board live in Caledonia? Are they chicken farmers? In short, who gives a damn except those living in Caledonia, and who else should properly have an opinion on it? It's their city, let them decide .

Always the smug stance, always blowing smoke at a populace that sees them as ever more irrelevant to life in this city. The Journal Times wouldn't endorse a presidential candidate, but they are ready to tell you whether or not to raise chickens. Phffft!

"Nationwide Cell Phone Ban for Drivers Urged"

"A leading consumer safety organization is calling for a nationwide ban on drivers using all cell phones and other messaging devices.

"While there are a few state and local laws banning drivers from using hand-held cell phones, the National Safety Council (NSC) believes it's time to make it unanimous."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/11/AR2009011101959.html


I know that a lot of people find cell phones convenient (some would say necessary, I'm sure), but I have had many close calls with drivers distracted by cell phones, easily a dozen wherein the other driver is still unaware that he/she cut me off or otherwise endangered others. They are oblivious when they are on the phone, just as bad or worse than drunk drivers.

Driving skills have dropped markedly and the number of vehicles on the road has increased. This is obvious to anyone who has driven for a few decades. Traffic law enforcement is all but nonexistent in Racine, usually occurring only after an accident has already taken place. (I recently got into an argument with a cop over this. He told me that they're too busy with "important" crimes to deal with traffic. What a farce the law is in Racine. No wonder so many ignore it.) Driving today is a major chore because so many drivers are incompetent.

I'm sure that just as the Tavern League comes to the defense of the thousands of drunk drivers that they turn loose on us every day, the cell phone companies will fight any attempts to regulate the use of their products. If nothing else, if you drive and use a cell phone, then the law should require that your phone number be stenciled on the back of your vehicle, like those How Am I Driving? stickers. That way, when I get home, I can call you up and tell you how you cut off six other vehicles and nearly ran down five pedestrians while you selfishly yammered on the phone.

I am upset

I did the ultimate and posted a comment on the Journal Times in the blogging area. My father died of pancreatic cancer, as did my husband's father and my cousin. All way too young.

This Italian Chick comes on and says that the onocologists and cancer clinics don't release the information that there is a cure for cancer. But they don't want it released because it would mean the end of their clinics and jobs. What the fat dog? Anyway, now I am all bent out of shape.

I know some cancers have had advances made. I do know that dead people are not financially beneficial to any doctor or clinic. Am I lost...living in a fantasy world?
By the way, my father would be 100 if he were still alive, so forget the artificial additives! Now why did I even reply to her post??? Am I nuts...oh wait, don't answer that one!

Now this is what I need.......

THE BIG THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

I have to send out the biggest THANK YOU to my family. Never have I been at a loss for words but you guys got me good with this one. I truly could not have asked for a better group of people in my life. You are all so dear to me. Next I need to say, I read through my contract and am not sure I can adhere to all of the rules.....I must first READ all blogs before I comment? Are you kidding me? I never think before I speak this is going to be a tough one for me. I'll be dismissed if ever a piece of ice touches my wine? I'll have to give up wine!!!!!!!!! By the by I know who made up that rule! .......................................Halebopp...for your generosity blows me away.....Logjam.....I have not enough words of gratitude for you.............Fungi........I thank you from the bottom of my heart...........Avenging angel.............I know who you are now so You'll owe me a drink soon preferably some of the dago wine you brought last night..........Liz...My forever angel I wish nothing but the best for you from this day forward............Drew.............one of the biggest hearts I've ever met, thank you for your continued friendship it means the world to me. Orbs.......Big kisses........nuff said.......Ser the best big brother one could ask for. I'm so sorry I didn't get to share a drink with you last night......Beejay...I hope you know how much I adore you. KK.......You are my heart...........To all of my new family I luv ya all and will try to live up to my potential.

WIsh you were there!

Thanks to everybody that came out for our
1st annual Irregular Christmas party!

We had a nice, relaxing time visiting and hanging out
together.

To those of you that couldn't make it, try for the next
get-together.
I read somewhere that we are perceived to be a 'cliche'. (sp?)
Interesting, I've never been in a cliche, but usually an outsider.

These get-togethers are ALWAYS all inclusive, open to
anyone who would like to come.
My contact info is always available, and
it's never to late to come out and hang with us.
I'm not going to beg, but if you've been checking us out,
maybe consider joining us next time and see the real us,
we're a fun bunch!

A Little Life Story....

Sorry...I broke wind...

Broke wind my ass, you farted!

Is it embarrassing when it happens in public or do you own up to it and be proud that you had the opportunity to share it with everyone?

Actually, it can be quite embarrassing if it has a lump it! HOWEVER, if it has an aroma that can strip paint off the wall, stand up and take ownership!

You are on your first date and you have to let one rip, but nooooo you do not want to be embarrassed so you squeeze your cheeks tight to hold it in. Well we all know after a while the pain...oh the pain; you hold it back for so long when it does finally pop it is so brutal your pant legs flutter in the breeze! Then you have no choice but to take ownership.

Let me tell you a little story. A friend of mine picked me up in the morning to give me a ride to work. Well I happened to be out the night before and so was he. While riding down the street I let one “fly”; well that baby was so hot I thought it was going to put blisters on my ass! The best part he had a Mustang and you know how small they are in the inside, well this cookie had such an aroma my friend slammed on the brakes and jumped out the car and started puking, now that is a fart!

Some say women don’t fart...ya right.

However, there are some sayings out there like: ‘A burp is a smart fart, it took the elevator’ or ‘It’s better to burp and taste it then fart and waste it’. I am sure there are more sayings, but those are two that come to mind.

So in the future, there is no reason to feel the pain, let it fly and hold your head high!

Generation Y

- The Silent generation, people born before 1946.

- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1947 and 1964.

- Generation X , people born between 1965 and 1983.

- Generation Y, people born between 1984 and 2002.

- Why do we call the last one generation Y?

- I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below...

A 3D Fly Through of a Supernova

I was at the AAS meeting last week and had little time to blog. Lots of cool results were announced. My favorite is a 3d fly though of the supernova remnant Cas A. This supernova blew up a little over 300 years ago and is one of the brightest radio sources in the sky and one of the closest and youngest supernova remnants making it a prime target for observing.

Only large stars can go supernova. This star probably had about 10 times the mass of our Sun. When it runs out of fuel, its core collapses to a neutron star. A neutron star, as its name implies, is made entirely of neutrons as the protons and electrons get crushed together and form neutrons (plus neutrinos, but they escape the star). The outer layers of the star star to collapse. As the neutrinos encounter the collapsing gas, a huge shock wave forms blowing the star apart. It's pretty complicated, but that's the basic picture (and the detials aren't entirely understood!)

The outer layers of the star contain a wide variety of elements: helium, oxygen, neon, carbon and silicon among others. The added energy from the shock wave can fuse these elements to from gold, silver and, well, all the elements heavier than iron!

So how do we make this 3d fly through? The supernova remnant is 3 dimensional. We can see it expanding. Pieces that move at right angles to our line of site appear to move the quickest across the sky. Pieces coming straight toward or away from us appear not to move at all. For the pieces that appear to move slowly, we use doppler shifts to tell whether they are moving toward or away from us. We combine data from the Chandra X-Ray telecope, the Spitzer Space Telescope (which observes in infared) and ground based optical telescopes, run it through a program called 3D slicer, and you get this.



The little neutron star at the center is about 6 miles wide and has about 1.4 times the mass of our Sun. It rotates dozens of times a second (its rotations speeds up when it collapses similar to a figure skater pulling in her arms and spinning faster).

Fortunately, this was about 10,000 light years away because we don't want one of these blowing up near us!

Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.

Hale Bopp is slacking off.

It's very hard to believe he hasn't come across this very geeky website. I think he has but is keeping it from us. Geeks are hot too ya know.

http://www.hotforwords.com/

This is My Milwaukee

"With containment and decontamination well under way, young professionals are flocking back to Milwaukee. Night life is thriving as though nothing ever happened."

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/37315034.html

How to Read a Wine Label (Without Ice)

1. Appellation of origin - Wine Growing region
To identify the region compare with the following list of the 13 German wine growing regions: Ahr, Mittelrhein, Mosel-Saar-Ruwer, Rheingau, Nahe, Pfalz, Rheinhessen, Franken, Hessische Bergstrasse, Württemberg, Baden, Saale/Unstrut, Sachsen.

2. Vintage
The vintage is the year the grapes were harvested. Wine is an agricultural product and consequently very dependent on the weather which in Germany, unlike more southerly climates, can be extremely variable.

3. Village and vineyard
The often difficult to pronounce names on the label indicate the village where the vineyard is located (identified by the -er suffix) followed by another name (often ending in -berg [=mountain, slope] indicating the vineyard site. Proprietary names like "Liebfraumilch" and "Bishop of Riesling" have no vineyard designation, they are a blend of wines from several vineyards.

4. Grape variety
The grape variety used to make a wine is the single most influential factor determining its taste. Different grapes have different flavors, just like different fruits have different flavors. For example: Riesling is a very fruit-driven grape variety providing a fine acidity. Gewürztraminer has very floral, perfumed flavors reminiscent of rose petals while Silvaner is lower in acidity and less floral, rather plain.

5. Level of dryness
The taste/style or level of dryness of a wine depends on the cellar master and is determined in the cellar by the winemaker; it is totally independent of the grape. Dryness levels are not to be confused with ripeness categories which depend on the ripeness of the grapes harvested in the vineyard. Whether a wine is dry or sweet can be indicated on the label. Trocken indicates dry wine without perceptible residual sweetness. It never contains more than 9 grams of residual sugar per liter and often less. It is very dry. Halbtrocken wines are semi-dry and may not have more than 18 grams of residual sugar per liter. With this barely perceptible sweetness, halbtrocken wines are considered "dry" by most wine lovers. If none of the above dryness levels can be found on the label, the wine is most likely a sweeter style wine, but it can range from off-dry to fully sweet. Generally, the sweetness in the wine does correlate with the ripeness levels.

6. Ripeness categories
The ripeness categories are Tablewine, Qualitätswein and Qualitätswein mit Prädikat. The latter is further divided into the ripeness levels Kabinett, Spätlese, Auslese, Beerenauselese, Trockenbeerenauslese and Eiswein. More about that on our Ripeness category page.

7. Ap - number
The AP NR. or "Amtliche Prüfnummer," meaning "official approval number" identifies the wine and is required for all qba and qmp wines. It consists of several blocks of numbers identifying the wine like: 5 169 878 0009 93 5 stands for the testing center, where the wine was approved 169 stands for the village in which the winery is located that produced the wine 878 is the code number for the winery 0009 93 reflects, this is the 9th wine tested in the year 1993 (no necessary relation to the vintage of the wine but most often the year after the vintage) This coding enables the official testing centers to identify a wine. If there is any complaint or doubt of authenticity of the wine, sealed bottles which the winery has to keep for a number of years can be cross checked and tasted to investigate.

8. Producer vs. Bottler
Name of producer or estate, in this case the producer is Winzer Bacchus.There are about 100,000 grape growers in Germany, yet only about one fourth as many wine producers. If the label indicates "Erzeugerabfüllung" (estate bottled), it assures you that the grapes were grown and the wine was produced by one and the same grower or cooperative of growers (Winzergenossenschaft). As an alternative to "Erzeugerabfüllung," estates and growers which grow, produce, and bottle their own wine can use the term "Gutsabfüllung" on the label. The grower or collective group of growers is responsible for and guarantees the quality of the wine. Sometimes the bottlers or shipper will assume responsibility and will be identified on the label as "Abfüller."

One for the Non-Smokers

THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.

Anyone Else Get a Little Something Extra in their Paycheck?

I just checked my first pay stub of this year and it was a few dollars more than my last one of last year. At first I wondered if my FSA contributions were screwed up, but they are fine. I am betting there was an adjustment in the withholding tables due to changed personal exemption for the 2009 tax year...any tax experts out there that can verify this since I am not feeling like digging through lots of IRS tables right now?

Betty Does Bailouts

Well, lots of space news recently from me, but have more than one trick. Moving onto another kind of black hole, it turns out that the the porn industry is now looking for a $5 billion bailout. Turns out they are facing hard times as well.

"But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

So here is the argument. We need lots of people to have babies to produce the next generation of good little indebted consumers. If people are too depressed to have sex and hence babies, the economy will collapse. Porn inspires people to have sex, therefore, we need a bailout of the porn industry to save the economy. QED

I honestly thought this was a joke when I first saw it and I am still hoping it turns out to be.

Dear Madame Zoltar

Hello, my lovely snowbirds! Welcome to this week’s blog.

First, I have some good news: a truce has been declared between me and that Mr. OrbsCorbs. He has agreed to treat me with dignity and respect, and I have agreed not to castrate him again with a hex. See, everything works out for the best in the long run.

I also want to announce that I will do my best to make an appearance at this weekend’s JTI Christmas Party. Saturday is a busy day for me, with astral projecting all over the place for private readings and seances, but I’ll see if I can’t sneak in a visit. If not, have a wonderful time without me, dearies.

Your responses to Mr. OrbsCorbs’ blog on his psychiatrist’s comments about Racine show that this is a healthy group. Accordingly, I’m still not receiving a lot of mail or messages about your problems. That’s a good thing, I suppose. So this week I’m going to join with the others who post musical videos for our enjoyment and edification.

Here’s a video starring Rada, “the Queen of the Gypsies.” Quite an attractive woman, and that pipe only adds to her allure:



The following video is one which I thought that Mr. Drewzepmeister in particular would appreciate. (Note that Mr. Danny Fender is one of my many satisfied customers, having purchased my Guitar Hero Potion #9 for years.)



Here’s a Band of Gypsies performing in San Francisco in 2006:



Finally, a video that explains why you rarely see adult male gypsies dancing. Who can keep this up into their 40’s and 50’s? (Ms. kkdither, perhaps this also helps explains why Mr. Zoltar’s physical movements became so stilted with time. He sure loved to dance, but it darn near crippled him.)



That’s it for this week, my friends. Don’t forget to send your questions and comments to: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.

Stay warm and don’t eat any yellow snow. Shalom.

Its okay to laugh

Bush had moments of comedy

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090103/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bushisms

My New Musical Fix: George Hrab

I just got back from the U.S. opening Ceremony for the International Year of Astronomy. Musician, skeptic and blogger George Hrab performed and it was great! I had heard of him before, but never really listened to his music or podcast. Well, color me converted. A man with a guitar and smart, funny lyrics about science, skepticism, and telling you who he is and what he believes (or doesn’t believe). Kind of reminds me of a more scientific version of Pat McCurdy. He also wrote and sings the theme song for the 365 Days of Astronomy Podcast.

So enjoy George Hrab’s “The Assumption”.

Astronomy

Seeing this is the International Year of Astronomy,I'd like to kick it off with an excellent tune from an underrated band,Blue Oyster Cult. These New Yorkers hit it big in the '70's with tunes like (Don't Fear)the Reaper and Godzilla. If you look underneath the surface of their big hits, you'll find a wealth of good tunes like Flaming Telepaths,Shooting Shark,E.T.I. (Extra Terrestrail Intellegence),and Joan Crawford. Not only these guys are talented musicians,they're crafty songwriters as well. They write songs about science-fiction,space,horror,and the Royal Canadian Mounties-often with an uncanny sense of humor. I was fortunate to see these guys in concert right here in Racine at Harbor Fest on 6/15/2002. Great show. This song can be found on their 1974 release Secret Treaties.

Well folks,put your hands together for Astronomy. Be sure to check out the special effects at the end of the tune.

Join In the IYA Opening Ceremony

I should have blogged this earlier, but tonight is the opening ceremony in the US for the International Year of Astronomy. The ceremony is taking place at the American Astronomical Society meeting in Long Beach (I am manning the IYA booth right now).

You can watch the ceremony streaming at the US IYA web site. They will be premiering 400 Years of the Telescope, a movie produced for IYA.

The festivities begin at 7:45pm CST (9:45pm CST) so you night owls can check it out if you are bored!

"Developers propose stores, 55 apartments for West Racine block"

http://www.journaltimes.com/articles/2009/01/06/local_news/doc4962c6fe678b0232588945.txt

“'We accepted proposals like this before, so I don’t know why we would not accept this one,' (City Development Director Brian O’Connell) said."


Three words: State and Main.

Wasn't that touted as housing for a new breed of "55 and betters" who wanted to live the urban dream? But when you wake up to the reality of the situation, many of the rentals are subsidized by Section 8, while the retail space on the lower level remains vacant. (I know, I heard, a sandwich shop is going in there. We'll see.) I'm told that the rental tenants are enjoying the on-site theater and gymnasium, while they last.

Mr. Chase Hendrix' comment on the Journal Times story above is one of the most intelligent things I have read on the local development scene. Developers in Racine throw up buildings or rehab standing ones in pursuit of federal and state monies and incentives, then leave generations of us to deal with the consequences. Why does City Hall not only allow this, but endorse it?

As I drove by State and Main today, I again saw an "Emergency Flood Restoration" van parked outside with a large tube leading into the building. They were also parked out there last spring after the rains. And who knows how many other times? This is the building that had to be gutted halfway through its construction because of a massive mold problem. This is the building that was described as an "anchor" for the northern end of downtown (even though the pre-existing and much more aesthetically pleasing M&I Bank building sits directly north of it).

Just so City Hall knows: anchors can sink things, too.

NSF: Science Is Hard

INDIANAPOLIS—The National Science Foundation's annual symposium concluded Monday, with the 1,500 scientists in attendance reaching the consensus that science is hard.

"For centuries, we have embraced the pursuit of scientific knowledge as one of the noblest and worthiest of human endeavors, one leading to the enrichment of mankind both today and for future generations," said keynote speaker and NSF chairman Louis Farian. "However, a breakthrough discovery is challenging our long-held perceptions about our discipline—the discovery that science is really, really hard."

You can read the complete story here.

Note: I am at the American Astronomical Society meeting in Long Beach and probably won't have much time to blog...I might try bloggind a press conference tomorrow for fun (if I can get a wireless signal there!)

Talk about reruns

Gladiators will be returning to the Colosseum to celebrate the 2,000 year anniversary of it's founder's birth, the Emperor Vespasian (b 9 AD, d 79 AD). His son, Titus, completed the project.

You know it had to be some show if it's still in reruns after 2,000 years.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,470047,00.html

My Shrink says Racine is in "Massive Denial"

Just got back from my three month/3,000 mile check up. Of course, I'm still crazy. In yammering with my psychiatrist, though, he made some statements about Racine that I found interesting. While I was whining about my problems, he said, "And it doesn't help having to deal with all of that in a city like Racine." I said something along the lines of while I know that many people bash Racine, I don't think it's such a bad town. "Not bad," he said, "but the people are in massive denial about their feelings. Everyone is passive-aggressive. In Chicago, I have to lead aggression suppression groups because people there are in touch with their feelings and angry; in Racine, you can't even get people to talk about their feelings. I know another small town in Michigan like this one - everyone is repressed."

He also said that the economic meltdown is providing the average person with a "historic" look at how "completely corrupt" our government and business leaders have become, and he expects there will be psychological ramifications from that as people try to reconcile the lies they have been told and believe with the reality of the situation.

I thought he was supposed to make me feel better. :(

It Must Be Monday

No word yet on whether or not Brian murdered the interviewer, or if he just slunk off and committed suicide.

Sheriff's Deputy's Car Rolls Over

SLINGER -- A Washington County Sheriff's Deputy's squad car flipped over and landed on its roof early Sunday morning. Authorities believe the slippery, icy condition of Highway 41 after hours of sleet and freezing rain may have caused the vehicle to flip.

As for the deputy, he reportedly had to be pulled out of his car but has only minor injuries.

He was responding to a motorist in the ditch when the accident happened. The deputy is a seven year veteran of the Washington County Sheriff's Department.

It is unknown if speed and alcohol could have been factors in the crash.

Oh, I just could not resist adding that! They do it for everyone else.

Proof that the Detroit school system works!

This is an actual picture of a Burger King in Detroit .

Woman Sues NYC Transit for $10 Million

"A woman who claims her 120-pound dog is protection from childhood memories of sex abuse is in a big-bucks battle with NYC Transit over whether the animal can ride the rails.

"Estelle Stamm, 65, won $10,000 from the city after two cops gave her a ticket for bringing the pony-sized dog into a subway station.

"Now she's going for $10 million in a federal suit that argues Wargas, her service dog, is protected under the Americans With Disabilities Act.

"'These sons of bitches don't like to be told what to do,' Stamm told the Daily News as she waited for a federal judge to decide whether the suit should be tossed."

http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/01/04/2009-01-04_woman_sues_for_10m_for_being_denied_subw.html


Ooo, I think I just got an idea for suing Racine's Belle Urban System. First, I have to get a service cow . . .

Aprons

I rec'd this in an e-mail today...brought a smile to my face when I thought about growing up on the southside of Milwaukee where most of the Moms were seen with those big old aprons with pockets. They got them at Goldmans' Dime Store 'down on Mitchell Street.'

The History of APRONS
I don't think our kids know what an apron is.The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, because she only had a few, it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.Send this to those who would know, and love, the story about Grandma's aprons. Or it can be a good history lesson for those that have no idea how the apron played a part in our lives.REMEMBER:Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw. They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron. I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron, but love !!