He was a lot younger then I thought 54...gezzzz. Steve was one of the orignal founders of Apple.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Apple's tech titan Steve Jobs dies
Mr. Jobs is the guy you have to thank for your ipods and iphone and pads and all those fancy toys of today.
He was a lot younger then I thought 54...gezzzz. Steve was one of the orignal founders of Apple.
He was a lot younger then I thought 54...gezzzz. Steve was one of the orignal founders of Apple.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
"To the all great & knowing leaders of Racine…3 words for you"
"Dear all great and all knowing leaders of Racine..
"You talk about the perception of crime in this city. After today there isn’t any perception, or isolated cases. Please tell the young man brutally attacked after school, repeatedly stomped and kicked, stabbed in the face and head, he lost his ear and was bleeding horrible, that is was just his perception. Please explain that to the 16 year old who was knock unconcious at 6th & Jones today where it seemed half the PD and RFD and Rescue were on scene, that it was just the residents perception. The US MARSHALLS ARE IN TOWN TONIGHT BUSTING BAD GUYS…. Tell the US Marshalls it’s just their perception.
"You can keep telling yourselves that is just a perception and you may believe it. But the residents of Racine are saying NO ITS REALITY.. When you tell the public it’s perception, that in my opinion is the ultimate disrepect to residents who call Racine home, doesn’t matter if they are rich or poor, young or old, and it doesn’t matter what race. EVERYONE COUNTS…
"When you say crime is a perception, you are giving in my opinion the ultimate disrespect to every law enforcement officer in Racine County who puts their lives on the line everyday protecting all of us… I have 3 words for you.
PERCEPTION….MY ASS"
Hear, hear!
The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
"Theodore Roethke (
/ˈrɛtki/ ret-kee; May 25, 1908 – August 1, 1963) was an American poet, who published several volumes of poetry characterized by its rhythm, rhyming, and natural imagery. He was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for poetry in 1954 for his book, The Waking."
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
--Theodore Roethke
/ˈrɛtki/ ret-kee; May 25, 1908 – August 1, 1963) was an American poet, who published several volumes of poetry characterized by its rhythm, rhyming, and natural imagery. He was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for poetry in 1954 for his book, The Waking."Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my cherished chestnuts! How are you? What a delicious spate of weather we are having. Balmy days with sunshine and cool nights to snuggle under the blankets. It is just wonderful. Maybe some of my late tomatoes will even ripen. If not, I’ll try to ripen them in paper bags. If not that, I’ll call upon the forces of the æther to command them to ripen. Our grand and gallant Green Bay Packers thrashed the Denver Broncos last Sunday. We can expect another courageous and heroic win this coming Sunday, Oct. 9, at 7:20 PM, when the Packers will pound the Atlanta Falcons at the Georgia Dome. It is kismet. It is fate. It is meant to be. Go Pack, go!
A couple of other Wisconsin sports teams are also doing noteworthy things this fall. Our glorious Milwaukee Brewers are playing in the postseason National League Division Series. And the Wisconsin Badgers are playing exceptionally well with five lopsided wins and no losses. Oh my. A triumphant triangle of teams. Go Wisconsin!
Unfortunately, the city of Racine was again in the limelight recently. And, unfortunately, again, it was for less than savory reasons: an alleged attack of a female employee by an alderman. Ahem, I say, ahem, why do these embarrassments keep plaguing our city? What kind of people are in charge of local government and commerce? What planet do they come from and why do they act like spoiled brats? Enough, that’s enough, please. Enough! Grow up or resign. Thus spake Madame Zoltar®!
Now for your enjoyment, my dear friends, is a simple, nice, warm video of a puppeteer and some children. I mean it as a balm for cares such as the above incident. All is not woe and sadness. There is still much beauty in our world:
That takes a lot of skill. Hours and hours of practice. The upside, however, is that you never have to clean up after the dog. Oh my.
Thank you, thank you for reading my blog my Irregulars and regulars and re-regulars and disregulars and unregulars and nonregulars and deregulated regulars. And anyone else I missed. I love you all. My readers are my favorite people, next to my Irregulars, who also happen to be my most regular readers. What?
Do you know the way? I do: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts, my dears. I’ve seen some trees turning brilliant colors and even a few that are already losing their leaves. Maybe I’ll rake up a pile and jump in them like I did as a child. Or, more likely, Junior and the neighbor kids will do it. Have a great week. Leggiadrous!
"Little brother video bombs sister"
That so reminds me of my sister and I when we were kids. Of course, we didn't have video cameras back then, but if we did, that is exactly what I would have done.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
"Are You A Sociopath?"
I laughed when I first saw this. I was interested because decades ago in my first stint of rehab at the old A-Center, I took a battery of psychological tests. The results were that I was a sociopath. I was a little unnerved by that. As it was explained to me then, a psychopath does not know the difference between right and wrong, and just does whatever he wants. A sociopath, however, does know the difference between right and wrong, but chooses to do what is wrong anyway.
Pretty grim. That was almost 30 years ago and I've somehow managed to not yet run amok in society. It could happen at any second, though. :-P
This quiz is simple and short. Apparently, I've mellowed with age. Here are my results:
"You exhibit some sociopath behaviors.
"You have 12 points for 24 Questions.You are for 50 % pure!"
Monday, October 3, 2011
The 2011 IgNobel Prizes
As we start to get the announcements of the 2011 Nobel Prize winners, they were once again beaten to the punch by the 2011 IgNobel Prizes. The IgNobels are given for the stranger side of science, the studies that make you laugh and then make you think. Here are a few of this year's "winners".- You have heard yawning is contagious, right? That may only apply to humans. The Physiology prize went to a team that found no evidence that yawning is contagious in the red footed tortoise.
- The Biology prize was given for discovering that male buprestids (a type of beetle) mistake certain beer bottles for female beetles for mating purposes.
- For track and field fans, the physics prize was given for discovering why discus throwers get dizzy but not hammer throwers even though both events involve the participant spinning.
- The Mathematics prize was a joint prize given to many people who made failed doomsday predictions.
- The Peace Prize was given to the Mayor of Vilnius who showed that the problem of illegally parked cars can be solved by running them over with a tank (the video of this went viral).
Be sure to check out the complete list of winners. You can even download a copy of the program given out at the ceremony. They usually post video of the ceremony a week in a week or so. Science Friday airs highlights of the show the Friday after Thanksgiving. The ceremony includes a mini-opera (This year "Chemist in a Coffee Shop"), Win a Date with a Nobel Laureate, the 24/7 lectures an a little girl who makes sure no one gets long winded with their acceptance speeches (a surprisingly large percentage of the honorees show up!)
Oh, and it's not too early to start nominating people for next year's awards!
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
"Hitler Stuck In Traffic"
I think it's funny, or is this meme obsolete? I can't keep up with internet trends.
"Racine alderman arrested for allegedly choking pregnant woman"
From Racine Uncovered: "From 620WTMJ.com-RACINE – City of Racine Alderman Keith Fair was arrested on suspicion of choking and striking a pregnant woman who works at the bar he owns, the Racine County Sheriff’s Department confirmed."Fair is being held in the Racine County Jail on possible charges of strangulation/suffocation, false imprisonment, battery, and disorderly conduct.
“'Mr. Fair is accused of choking and striking a female employee of the bar he owns, Place on 6th, on Friday, September 30th,' Racine County Sheriff Christopher Schmaling said in a news release. 'The female victim is reported to be 8 weeks pregnant. Racine County Sheriff’s investigators took Mr. Fair into custody at his bar [Saturday] evening.'
“'This was a brutal attack, and Alderman Fair’s alleged actions inthis incident are not only concerning but alarming.'”
Fair is my alderman. Unfortunately, I'd say that his actions are a "fair" representation of the area that he represents.
More Scamming
This is all over Facebook.... people are such guppies.
(Check out the popup disclaimer)
Maybe we should get Stu a laptop for his birthday?
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Win a Date with OrbsCorbs
I've been trying to think of ways to make some extra money. "I'm so poor that I can't pay attention." One of the ideas I had was to hold a raffle for a date with the inimitable and irascible OrbsCorbs. Make it $5 a ticket. I figure at least 200 women (hopefully, they'll all be women) will jump at the chance for a night out with Orbs. That's $1,000 right there. What does dinner and a movie for two cost? It's been a long time for me, but I think it can be done for $100 or less. That's $900 profit right there.Of course, if more women buy tickets, that's more profit. And there's nothing to stop anyone from buying multiple tickets in an effort to increase their chances. In fact, I can guarantee that any lady who spends $200 or more on tickets will get a date with me. (What the hell. A meal, a movie, and a hundred bucks. I'll take that anytime.)
So what do you think? Am I on the road to riches, or the highway to hell?
"29 years old and hearing myself for the 1st time!"
From YouTube: "I was born deaf and 8 weeks ago I received a hearing implant. This is the video of them turning it on and me hearing myself for the first time :) Edit: For those of you who have asked the implant I received was Esteem offered by Envoy Medical."
It's something to see the flood of emotions overtake her.
(Huck, I hope that you don't feel excluded by this.)
Friday, September 30, 2011
Christmas in September
I just got back from the K-Mart on the north side of Racine. They have their Christmas decorations up. I spoke briefly with the man putting up the displays. He said he started assembling trees last week.
I believe this is the earliest I have ever seen a store start pushing Christmas. Why don't they just leave the decorations up all the time and pimp Christmas 365 days a year?
Are You Going to Party on the Pavement?
Tomorrow is the big event in Downtown Racine: Party on the Pavement.
Are you going?
I don't plan on attending. I've gone in years past, but not in recent years. I don't like crowds and it gets more crowded every year. That's good for the event, but not for me. I also bump into people I don't particularly want to see.
I hope for good weather for Party on the Pavement and I hope that all those who attend have a great time.
Are you going?
I don't plan on attending. I've gone in years past, but not in recent years. I don't like crowds and it gets more crowded every year. That's good for the event, but not for me. I also bump into people I don't particularly want to see.
I hope for good weather for Party on the Pavement and I hope that all those who attend have a great time.
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Welcome back to Four for Fridays after a seemingly a quick week. Can't believe the end of September is here...Anyways here are some random questions...
1) How often do you keep updated in the news?
2) What's the one bad habit you would like to break?
3) What is the one subject you are the most passionate about?
4) Had you ever had a fish tank?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) How often do you keep updated in the news?
2) What's the one bad habit you would like to break?
3) What is the one subject you are the most passionate about?
4) Had you ever had a fish tank?
Enjoy your weekend!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my magnificent mums! How are you? Well this certainly appears to be one of the dreariest weeks we’ve had in a long time. Occasional spots of sunlight appear here and there, but mostly it is rain, rain, and, then, rain. Believe it or not, I still have some rather large green tomatoes on my plants just waiting for a few days of sunshine to ripen them up. What are the chances? Even a professional prognosticator like me won’t lay odds against Mother Nature. I’ll probably end up putting the tomatoes in paper bags on the closet floor in an effort to coax them to ripeness. Mother Nature can be a real “mother” sometimes. Who is the mother of all teams in the NFL? The Green Bay Packers, of course! Our glorious gladiators slaughtered the Chicago Bears last Sunday. Next, the powerful Packers meet the Denver Broncos this coming Sunday, October 2, at 3:15 PM, in Lambeau Field. Ride those broncos till they drop, boys! I predict another Green Bay win, another step towards repeating our Super Bowl performance of last year. Hey, hey, Pack, break their backs! Oh my.
This weekend is also when the mother of all Racine festivals occurs: Party on the Pavement! Huzzah! Huzzah! Yahoo! Yahoo! It is this Saturday, October 1, noon to 7 PM, in Downtown Racine. I saw a large ad for POP in the weekend’s print version of the Journal Times, but nothing online yet. Here is DRC’s webpage on it: http://www.racinedowntown.com/party.html [Edited - I found this later: http://www.partyonthepavement.com/] As you will notice on the maps for the event when you see them, neither I nor Senor Zanza have booths in the event. [Edited - http://www.partyonthepavement.com/POP_2011_Map.jpg] Why? The usual prejudice against me and “my kind,” I suppose, or perhaps it is our association with the JT Irregulars. In any case, I hope that Party on the Pavement is a grand success this year. Remember the Ferris wheel accident last year? Oh my! We are so lucky to have the firefighters and emergency personnel that we do in Racine. Bless you all. I hope that Mother Nature cooperates and gives us a beautiful day to celebrate in Downtown Racine. As Mr. OrbsCorbs would say, “Party on!”
Below, my dears, is an example of what power the mind can hold over physical objects:
That was just three, young, untrained minds urging on a paper airplane. What would happen if, say, thousands of terrorists were trained to concentrate their minds on bringing down a commercial airliner? Oh dear! Has Homeland Security considered that scenario, or am I the only one protecting us from the mind control efforts of our enemies? Perhaps I should sell tinfoil hats at Party on the Pavement.
[Confidential to “Worn Out in Racine:” That’s what you get for robbing the cradle. Humph! I hope it turns black and blue.]
Thank you my dear, dear Irregulars and my dear, dear regulars. And thank you my dear, dear visitors, too. I love all of you. It is a joy to share my blog with you, and an honor. I hope that enjoy yourselves here and I hope that you will return next week.
Want to know where your “get up and go” got up and went to? Ask me: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Don’t forget your umbrellas, my dears. And your raincoats and galoshes. And, yes, that means the guys, too. Warm up over a bowl of soup or a cup of coffee or whatever gets your boiler stoked. This is good weather for sweaters. Obstrobogulous!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
My First Aurora Pics
Living in Arizona, I don't get to see the Aurora. It takes an exceptional solar storm to see the Northern Lights that far south.
Right now, I am at the Schoodic Education and Research Center at Acadia National Park in Maine. Northern Lights are more common up here. A reasonably strong solar storm hit yesterday and it was a wonderfully clear night. Right before I left on this trip, I got a new Sigma 10mm fisheye lens for my camera. That is a nice fast, wide angle lens that is perfect for capturing Aurora. So here is a sampling of the shots I got last night.
Looking forward to seeing what tonight might hold.
Reprinted with permission from the Half-Astrophysicist Blog.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Oktoberfest and a Fun House
From YouTube: "This guy goes to Oktoberfest, parties, then hits up the funhouse. The next day, when people ask him why he looks so bad, this guy can tell them he spent the whole night tossing and turning."
Heck, back in the day, I would stagger home down the street like that after a night at the bar.
"Cheesehead maker has issue with billboard"
"Firm threatens lawsuit over use of its hat on anti-cheese sign"
"By Meg Jones of the Journal Sentinel
Sept. 26, 2011 10:19 p.m. |
"It's one thing to bash cheese here in America's Dairyland, but quite another to use a beloved Cheesehead hat to cast aspersions on the food that's as much a part of Wisconsin as beer and bratwurst.
"A cheese war of sorts has broken out over a billboard scheduled to go up this week near Lambeau Field. The billboard features a Cheesehead-clad, scythe-carrying Grim Reaper cautioning about the health hazards of eating cheese.
"When the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine paid thousands of dollars to install the billboard on Highway 41 in De Pere, which many Packers fans will see on their way to Sunday's game, word got back to the St. Francis company that makes the famous cheddar apparel.
"The Cheesehead hat makers were steamed."
Read the rest of the story here: http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/130608538.html
How dare they attack cheeseheads in our home state? Now I have to find a cheesehead hat for my avatar. Grrr! You could just as well put a physician's lab coat on that Grim Reaper for all of the "mistakes" that doctors have buried.
Making a baby
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me.. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.
After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'
'Leave everything to me.. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'
'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with..'
'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away..'
'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted
Washington Park Pool
Built as a WPA project in 1939, the Washington Park recreation center and swimming pool was a favorite summer activity for close to 30 years. The pool cost $150,000 to construct and was considered "state of the art." The only one of its kind in Wisconsin, it was built with the idea of providing a seashore atmosphere in the heart of the City. The pool was closed in 1968 and later removed. The recreation building was complete with a gym and showers. The pool's changing rooms were located in two open air areas with benches and changing stalls. The boys were located on the east side of the building and the girls on the west side. Street clothes were placed in a basket and each patron would get a rubberized ankle band with a medal tag with the basket number on it. There was also a concession window which sold goodies for the long walk home.
Back in the mid '50's I lived on Carroll St. A group of friends, we would go there every day. It cost 10 cent to get in. I would get a quarter from my mother, 10 cent to get in and when we left we would stop at the A&W Root Beer stand on 12th Street and spend the last 15 cent on a large ice cold root beer.
One day a week was a free day, we had a name for it, but I won’t say what we called it.
Around the “Island” the water was 10 ft deep. There was a fence around it and at the fence it was about 4 ft and tapered up to about 6 in deep. I was pretty disappointed when they closed it.
Back in the mid '50's I lived on Carroll St. A group of friends, we would go there every day. It cost 10 cent to get in. I would get a quarter from my mother, 10 cent to get in and when we left we would stop at the A&W Root Beer stand on 12th Street and spend the last 15 cent on a large ice cold root beer.
One day a week was a free day, we had a name for it, but I won’t say what we called it.
Around the “Island” the water was 10 ft deep. There was a fence around it and at the fence it was about 4 ft and tapered up to about 6 in deep. I was pretty disappointed when they closed it.
Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
In 1991, Nirvana released their second album, Nevermind. Tomorrow, on the 20th anniversary of its original release, the album is being re-released in a remastered version. You can read more here: http://www.jsonline.com/entertainment/musicandnightlife/130599683.html
Below is "Smells Like Teen Spirit" from that 1991 album.
Below is "Smells Like Teen Spirit" from that 1991 album.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
colonoscopies
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by some of his male patients while he was performing their colonoscopies:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
... and the best one of them all :
12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
... and the best one of them all :
12. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there."
"Carlsberg stunts with bikers in cinema"
It really depends upon what I paid to see, but I don't think I would have stayed.
(You don't need the audio for this one, Huck.)
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Two Things
Number one: Please check out our Disclaimer sometime. It's at the bottom of the page.
Number two: This link was submitted by a reader: https://www.torproject.org/
It's about the Tor Project: Anonymity Online.
Keep those cards and letters coming, folks. Thank you for reading the JT Irregulars. Don't forget to patronize our sponsor, the Miracle Widget Company. "If it works, it's a Miracle."™
Number two: This link was submitted by a reader: https://www.torproject.org/
It's about the Tor Project: Anonymity Online.
Keep those cards and letters coming, folks. Thank you for reading the JT Irregulars. Don't forget to patronize our sponsor, the Miracle Widget Company. "If it works, it's a Miracle."™
"Are You Normal?"
"Being unique is important, but are your quirks pushing you too far outside what is considered normal? This fun personality quiz will give you the answer. Find out if you're in step with normal America, or if you're marching to the beat of your own drummer."
Here are my results:
"Marvelous Maverick"
"Giddy-up partner. You're a maverick and don't know what the definition of normal is. That's a-okay because you're now part of a fascinating group of desperadoes. Wherever you ride, it's sure to be off the beaten path because it's way more fun to find the path least traveled."
"You . . . don't know what the definition of normal is." Spot on. I suspect, though, that "normal" is a disease which needs to be wiped out in my lifetime.
Friday, September 23, 2011
"Luxury Living... with a twist!"
Now that's the kind of home ownership I can relate to.
To see more of Gregory Kloehn's dumpster home and how to accessorize it, check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca2af6y1gSM
Four for Fridays
Hello everyone! Welcome back to another exciting episode of Four for Fridays-where there are no reruns! This week's questions are random...
1) Do you sing out loud to the radio in your car?
2) What do you like on your sandwich? (any kind of sandwich)
3) Do you prefer the heat or the cold?
4) Have you ever won a prize or a trophy?
Enjoy your weekend!
1) Do you sing out loud to the radio in your car?
2) What do you like on your sandwich? (any kind of sandwich)
3) Do you prefer the heat or the cold?
4) Have you ever won a prize or a trophy?
Enjoy your weekend!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Irregular Football League Standings - Week 2
Looks like the Orbliterators and the Packers are doing about the same.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Dear Madame Zoltar
Hello, my zesty zinnias! How are you? It appears that summer may yet linger a little longer. I enjoy the mild days and cool nights. However, a glance at the calendar tells the tale: autumn is coming. That is a very beautiful time of year, too: the colorful leaves, the crispness in the air, the pumpkins and football games and long walks on short afternoons. We are blessed with all four seasons in Wisconsin, although some people, including myself, would label one of those a curse. Oh my. Well, I’m not going to even think about what comes after autumn. And don’t you dare say the “s” word!Our intrepid and meritorious Green Bay Packers once again defeated their opponents, the North Carolina Panthers, this Sunday past. They are 2 and oh, my. Next, they face their hated and despised archrivals, the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field, this Sunday, September 25, at 3:15 PM. Grrr! I am tempted to put a curse on the Bears, but that would not be fair play. In any case, our glorious Green and Gold do not need anyone’s help. They will put the Bears into hibernation on their home turf. So predicts Madame Zoltar®©™!
Is it just me, or do the driving skills of the motoring public seem to decline with each year? I am almost afraid to drive or ride on the streets of Racine anymore. We have tolerated a lot, but things are getting out of hand. My auto insurance just jumped $73 annually. What is that about? I have made no claims and have had no tickets. I don’t even let Junior near my car. He’s 15 and all he talks about is when he gets his license. Ha! We’ll see. I’d be afraid to let him drive, period, let alone drive/dodge in Racine. And what do you think would happen to my insurance rate then? A young male with a probationary license – that ought to be worth about triple my current rate. Oh dear.
Remember last week’s video about the entertainment center falling over on the boy? Well, this week I present a similar, precautionary tale on the dangers of gambling. Instead of boys, it features an older man, who knocks something over. (There is no audio.)
Oh my. Although the gentleman in that video got the satisfaction of kicking in the machine’s face, I’ll bet you that his foot still hurts. Please don’t gamble, it’s not worth the risks.
[Confidential to the one who did not want to be named: Yes, you may sue for that. In fact, I encourage it. The more the merrier, my dear.]
Thank you beloved Irregulars and regulars for visiting my humble blog this week. I am so happy that you stopped by to read. It gives me great pleasure to give you pleasure. I look forward to our visit every week.
To know tomorrow today, don’t wait until yesterday: madamezoltar@jtirregulars.com.
Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy my lovelies. It’s time for fall harvest fests and apple cider. Watch out for the hard stuff. I drank a little too much of that one year and accidentally astral projected myself into a neighbor’s bedroom. That was very embarrassing. I love you all. Have a wonderful week. Gelogenic!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Anybody got a spare chainsaw?
Neighbor had a tree lining our yards cut down today. The one guy says to me don't worry, we'll clean up any branches, leaves etc that fall in your yard.
I said cool!
Hey, I'll take the wood! LOL!! He says that would be great, then we don't have to stop to dump it before our next job... where do you want it?
This is what they left me.. LMAO!!!
You can see the stump to the right of the fence.
I said cool!
Hey, I'll take the wood! LOL!! He says that would be great, then we don't have to stop to dump it before our next job... where do you want it?
This is what they left me.. LMAO!!!
You can see the stump to the right of the fence.
Zahns - Racine, Wisconsin
Zahns - for those of you that shopped there........a walk down memory lane.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Life worth living
At a wedding party recently someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was crushed to death.
The bartender was crushed to death.
A Short Love Story
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own fucking blanket.'
After a moment of silence, .....................he farted.
The End
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own fucking blanket.'
After a moment of silence, .....................he farted.
The End
The Fate of the Oasis
Tomorrow night, Tuesday, Sept. 20, Racine's City Council is supposed to decide who gets to manage the Oasis on North Beach for the next five years. The Public Safety and Licensing Committee has recommended that the concession be taken away from Mr. Paul Curtin, the man who turned the Oasis from a gang and drug infested hangout into a destination spot on North Beach. Please contact your alderman and tell him or her how you feel about this matter. Or better yet, show up at the meeting and tell them yourself. 7 PM, Room 205, City Hall.
It's fast and easy to send your alderman an email. If you don't know who your alderman is, you can find out here: http://www.cityofracine.org/City/Departments/Clerk/Poll.aspx?id=196
My previous blog on the subject: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/09/city-committee-recommends-different.html
The JournalTimes.com's last story on the subject: http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_21b59afe-dec4-11e0-a734-001cc4c002e0.html
It's fast and easy to send your alderman an email. If you don't know who your alderman is, you can find out here: http://www.cityofracine.org/City/Departments/Clerk/Poll.aspx?id=196
My previous blog on the subject: http://www.jtirregulars.com/2011/09/city-committee-recommends-different.html
The JournalTimes.com's last story on the subject: http://www.journaltimes.com/news/local/article_21b59afe-dec4-11e0-a734-001cc4c002e0.html
Sunday, September 18, 2011
"Nudity Probable"
That came from a group that calls themselves "The Irregulars": http://www.youtube.com/user/IrregularsVideos
There's also http://www.irregularfilms.com/, which features "the work of Marco Sandeman."
Someone asked about near death experiences at another Site.
Here is the one I shared.
I have too many of these stories. Why am I alive? No idea. One among many.
I was getting ready to go to work. My state is a helmet choice state for motorcyclists. I rarely wore one but this morning I had a premonition that said wear it. Okay, so I toss my helmet, leather jacket, and gloves on and go out to fire up the bike. The rural highway to the next town where I worked, was about ten miles of crank it up and blast down the road emptiness.
I was in my little burg on the way out of town. In front of me there was a Rambler American belching smoke, and in front of him a AMC Ambassador. (The AMC plant was in the next county over) The Ambassador took off at the city limit leaving me behind the smoke belchor. There were a few cars coming my way, and when they passed I cracked the throttle hard and passed the old Rambler. I had it up over 80mph and was thinking the next small hill will slow me down without needing to hit the brakes. That's when I saw the Ambassador in front of me about a block distance away. It seemed to be going much slower than it had been.
With the morning sun in my eyes, my vision was reduced so I tilted my head down for some shade and that's when I saw the left turn signal. To the right was a deep ditch with large chunks of jagged lime stone, a telephone pole about ten feet out, and some of those highway posts that are painted black and white. I couldn't take the path to the right as there was no path to take. I hit the brakes hard.
My rear tire started breaking loose and the front brake was near locked. I was headed for a full impact center punch of the Ambo's rear end and was still doing over 60mph. I tend to react faster than many. As the rear end came sideways a little more, I banged down two gears in desperation and grabbed a fist full throttle. Doing an imitation of Jay Sprinsteen, I did a feet up flat track corner attempt. I almost made it. Time ran out.
My bike hit the left rear of the Ambo and pushed the bumper and rear corner in two feet. The impact happened right behind my leg. I missed getting my leg crushed by inches. As I flew over the bike, and somersaulted, I broke the last knuckle on my right hand's ring finger. Except for literally shitting my pants as I impacted the ground and hoped there was no on coming traffic, that was the extent of my injuries. I must have been green from my full pants as the Officer on the scene didn't write me a ticket although he could have.
That's just one of many near death stories. I earned the handle "Mr. Wild" <-- (I'm Huck Finn here) for a reason. Buy me a beer sometime and I'll tell you another. I used to race, drive with a lead foot, and skydive. Yes, I'm lucky to be here, but what a rich life filled with memories.
I have too many of these stories. Why am I alive? No idea. One among many.
I was getting ready to go to work. My state is a helmet choice state for motorcyclists. I rarely wore one but this morning I had a premonition that said wear it. Okay, so I toss my helmet, leather jacket, and gloves on and go out to fire up the bike. The rural highway to the next town where I worked, was about ten miles of crank it up and blast down the road emptiness.
I was in my little burg on the way out of town. In front of me there was a Rambler American belching smoke, and in front of him a AMC Ambassador. (The AMC plant was in the next county over) The Ambassador took off at the city limit leaving me behind the smoke belchor. There were a few cars coming my way, and when they passed I cracked the throttle hard and passed the old Rambler. I had it up over 80mph and was thinking the next small hill will slow me down without needing to hit the brakes. That's when I saw the Ambassador in front of me about a block distance away. It seemed to be going much slower than it had been.
With the morning sun in my eyes, my vision was reduced so I tilted my head down for some shade and that's when I saw the left turn signal. To the right was a deep ditch with large chunks of jagged lime stone, a telephone pole about ten feet out, and some of those highway posts that are painted black and white. I couldn't take the path to the right as there was no path to take. I hit the brakes hard.
My rear tire started breaking loose and the front brake was near locked. I was headed for a full impact center punch of the Ambo's rear end and was still doing over 60mph. I tend to react faster than many. As the rear end came sideways a little more, I banged down two gears in desperation and grabbed a fist full throttle. Doing an imitation of Jay Sprinsteen, I did a feet up flat track corner attempt. I almost made it. Time ran out.
My bike hit the left rear of the Ambo and pushed the bumper and rear corner in two feet. The impact happened right behind my leg. I missed getting my leg crushed by inches. As I flew over the bike, and somersaulted, I broke the last knuckle on my right hand's ring finger. Except for literally shitting my pants as I impacted the ground and hoped there was no on coming traffic, that was the extent of my injuries. I must have been green from my full pants as the Officer on the scene didn't write me a ticket although he could have.
That's just one of many near death stories. I earned the handle "Mr. Wild" <-- (I'm Huck Finn here) for a reason. Buy me a beer sometime and I'll tell you another. I used to race, drive with a lead foot, and skydive. Yes, I'm lucky to be here, but what a rich life filled with memories.
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